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Man Realizes His Values Don’t Match His Fiancée’s After Proposing, Ends Everything
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Man Realizes His Values Don’t Match His Fiancée’s After Proposing, Ends Everything

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The perfect proposal can be hard. The right place, the right time, and the right engagement ring – all of these things really count. In the United States, an average couple spends about $1k to $5k for an engagement ring. But for some fiancées, even that isn’t enough.

This man proposed with a $2,000 ring because for him, marriage is about much more than the material things. For his fiancée, however, it was the opposite; she expected a more expensive diamond, worth at least $20k. Her reaction made one thing clear: perhaps the couple isn’t meant to be together if their values are so different.

The price of an engagement ring proved to be the ultimate test for this couple

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

In the girlfriend’s mind, the ring was too cheap, but her stubbornness ultimately cost her the relationship

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Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Physical-Bus6025

People should spend on an engagement ring only as much as they’re comfortable with

Image credits: serhii_bobyk / freepik (not the actual photo)

Today, when we think of a traditional engagement, the first thing that comes to mind is probably a ring. One partner gets on one knee and asks the other to accept an engagement ring as a symbol of their love and devotion. But, in reality, are engagement rings really that important?

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The main problem in this story was that a ring meant something different to the man and the woman. Like with everything in life, there are always two perspectives; neither he nor she is wrong here. Still, it’s interesting to explore the arguments for and against engagement rings that people and wedding industry experts have.

To the girlfriend, the ring symbolized the relationship itself: the more expensive it was, the more serious and valuable was the future marriage. There’s this saying that an engagement ring should cost at least a three-month salary. However, jewelry experts today say that this tradition is quite outdated. Vogue claims that it’s just a clever marketing ploy to get people to contribute even more to the wedding market.

Many women have been conditioned from childhood to expect an engagement ring to complete the fairytale of marriage. Dr. Fran Walfish suggests that when women think a ring is “not enough,” they might have other doubts.

A flashy, expensive ring would only distract from the problems within the relationship. Dr. Walfish says people need to get used to disappointment. “It’s not that we’ve ‘settled’, it’s that we’re reaching a point where we’re realizing we have to decide what is priority, and that we can’t get every single thing we want in a partner.”

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An expensive engagement ring isn’t a guarantee for a long and happy marriage

Image credits: wirestock / freepik (not the actual photo)

To the man, on the other hand, the meaning was purely symbolic. He would much rather invest in more practical things they’ll need in the future: a car, a house, investments, and even her business ideas.

Some research shows that men who spend between $2,000 and $4,000 on engagement rings have a higher rate of divorce. Those who opt for cheaper engagement rings from $500 to $2,000 have longer-lasting marriages. However, the researchers also found that spending less than $500 on an engagement ring is more likely to predict that your marriage will end in divorce.

Relationship experts say that materialism can often be a distraction from what is really important. “A relationship built off of intangible intimacy rather than a lavish lifestyle is much more likely to not only last, but thrive into a loving partnership that lasts for a lifetime, Christie Tcharkhoutian, LMFT, told NBC.

“Instead of going into debt, buy an engagement ring within your current budget that you’ll both love, and upgrade in the future if you desire,” the jewelers at Martin Busch Jewelers write. According to Brides magazine, people should spend only what they’re comfortable with. They recommend speaking about this with a partner: assessing your budget and future financial goals.

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Some commenters sided with the guy, agreeing that the price of an engagement ring shouldn’t be a priority in a relationship

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Others, however, supported the girlfriend, inviting him to look at it from her perspective

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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S. K.
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone demanding a ring of a certain value is shallow, high maintenance, and to be avoided.

similarly
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"However, the researchers also found that spending less that $500 on an engagement ring is more likely to guarantee that your marriage will end in divorce." So, poverty has an effect on marriage? You don't say! It ain't necessarily about the ring. When my wife and I got married, we made a game out of seeing how cheap we could go and still have a nice wedding. We likely spent less than $500 on the whole wedding, rings included. We spent $25 to rent a small chapel. We spent about $25 for a Justice of the Peace. We spent about a hundred on rings (and they were nice rings, but we stopped wearing them years ago). Friends took photos, took care of music, did the reception, etc. We wore clothes we already had. Considering we've been together for over 30 years, I think we didn't do so badly.

lenka
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"So, poverty has an effect on marriage" This was my take on it too. Really disappointing to see them break down the value of an entire marriage to the cost of a ring without addressing the broader impact of financial stress. My ring was way less than $500 when we got married because we were broke. I was happy and proud to wear that ring and be the wife of the man that gave it to me. I still am :-)

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SnackbarKaat
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bf, now husband, and i went to buy the cheapest gold wedding rings. Both Broke but young, in love. we are now married for 17 years with two kids

Mari
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I also, the cheapest golden rings and now we are 20 years and 4 kids later. Love is the most precious, not a diamond or other material things.

Load More Replies...
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S. K.
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone demanding a ring of a certain value is shallow, high maintenance, and to be avoided.

similarly
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"However, the researchers also found that spending less that $500 on an engagement ring is more likely to guarantee that your marriage will end in divorce." So, poverty has an effect on marriage? You don't say! It ain't necessarily about the ring. When my wife and I got married, we made a game out of seeing how cheap we could go and still have a nice wedding. We likely spent less than $500 on the whole wedding, rings included. We spent $25 to rent a small chapel. We spent about $25 for a Justice of the Peace. We spent about a hundred on rings (and they were nice rings, but we stopped wearing them years ago). Friends took photos, took care of music, did the reception, etc. We wore clothes we already had. Considering we've been together for over 30 years, I think we didn't do so badly.

lenka
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"So, poverty has an effect on marriage" This was my take on it too. Really disappointing to see them break down the value of an entire marriage to the cost of a ring without addressing the broader impact of financial stress. My ring was way less than $500 when we got married because we were broke. I was happy and proud to wear that ring and be the wife of the man that gave it to me. I still am :-)

Load More Replies...
SnackbarKaat
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bf, now husband, and i went to buy the cheapest gold wedding rings. Both Broke but young, in love. we are now married for 17 years with two kids

Mari
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I also, the cheapest golden rings and now we are 20 years and 4 kids later. Love is the most precious, not a diamond or other material things.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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