“Am I The [Jerk] For Ending A Decade-Long Friendship After My Friend Announced Her 5th Pregnancy?”

Being the “rock” for a friend in crisis is a badge of honor. You become their emergency contact, their listening ear, and often, their unofficial bank. You step up because that’s what friends do, and it feels good to be the person they can always count on. A heavy burden, but one you take on with pride.

But what happens when the crisis becomes their permanent state of being? One woman, after years of being the constant support system for her friend, finally received a piece of news that made her realize she had absolutely nothing left to give.

More info: Reddit

A friendship forged in crisis can be powerful, but sometimes one person is left carrying all the weight

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A woman formed a deep bond with a friend who supported her through a brutal breakup, creating a decade-long friendship

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Over the years, she became her friend’s sole financial and emotional support system through four children and endless drama

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The dramatic friend even caused the narrator’s husband to end a friendship from his own childhood

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The announcement of a fifth pregnancy with a fourth father was the final, exhausting straw

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In a tearful, explosive phone call, she finally unleashed years of pent-up frustration and ended the friendship for good

This wasn’t just any friendship; it was forged in the fires of a “Chernobyl-level” breakup. The narrator, deep in depression, found a lifeline in her younger friend, who stepped up with food, a listening ear, and an emotional maturity far beyond her years. Their bond was deep and daily, a chosen family. The OP was there for the birth of her friend’s second child, cementing their supportive relationship.

But then, the friend’s own marriage imploded, and she entered a long line of quick-to-fizzle relationships. The OP shifted from the one being supported to the one doing all the supporting. She became a second mom to the kids, a financial safety net, and an emotional punching bag. She helped her friend through two more pregnancies with two different men, one of whom was her own husband’s childhood friend.

The dynamic devolved into a completely one-sided drain. The narrator became the “bestie bank,” constantly loaning money and providing for the kids while her friend, now with four children, couldn’t afford life. The friend talked about getting her tubes tied, but never did, instead having multiple “pregnancy scares” with a manipulative boyfriend. The friendship became nothing but constant, high-stakes drama.

The final straw came with a phone call: the friend announced she was pregnant with baby number five. The OP finally snapped, unleashing years of pent-up frustration in an explosive, tearful tirade, declaring she was “DONE.” Now, six months later, she’s free from the constant anxiety, but she’s wrestling with immense guilt for “abandoning” the friend she had to do everything for.

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The narrator’s story is a textbook example of what mental health resources like The Better Normal describe as an emotionally draining friendship. These relationships are often deeply one-sided, leaving the “giver” feeling depleted, anxious, and responsible for the other person’s well-being. This is a role that is fundamentally unsustainable and a direct path to the burnout she experienced.

The friend’s repeated cycle of pregnancies with different, unsupportive partners isn’t just a series of poor choices; it’s a recognized social pattern. A study published in the National Library of Medicine on “multipartner fertility” found that women whose first child’s father is not involved are significantly more likely to have another child with a new partner.

This context suggests the friend was caught in a difficult cycle, but it also explains why the narrator felt trapped in an endless loop of predictable crises. She understandably realised it might be time to jump ship.

Despite her guilt, the narrator’s decision to walk away is strongly supported by clinical signs that a friendship has become toxic. As outlined by psychologist Dr. Roxy Zarrabi, red flags include a one-sided friendship feeling, a consistent feeling of being drained after interactions, and a pattern of manipulation or dishonesty. Ending this friendship was an act of self-preservation.

The internet fully backed OP’s decision, but do you think she was fair? Share your thoughts in our comment section!

Commenters overwhelmingly agreed she wasn’t abandoning a friend, but escaping a toxic, one-sided relationship

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