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In-Laws Demand Woman Quit Her Job As It’s “Emasculating” Their Son, She Has A Perfect Clapback
Times have changed. Nowadays it’s not unusual for women to earn more than their husbands. Or for some men to be stay-at-home dads. It’s really up to what works for the couple. But not everyone is open-minded enough to accept that traditional gender norms are shifting.
One very successful woman has been left stunned after her wealthy future in-laws asked her to quit her high-paying job. They’d prefer her to be a stay-at-home-mom. Because, apparently, her big paycheck is emasculating their son. When the woman offered a compromise that she felt was fair, the “old-money” family went nuts.
RELATED:
Some people born into “old money” will never understand the meaning of hard work
Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual image)
One woman’s wealthy in-laws want her to quit her job so that she doesn’t earn more than their trust-fund son
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova (not the actual image)
Image credits: Strange-Corner5670
The woman gave some more info in the comments section
Times are changing but many men can’t handle being “out-earned”
The number of women who earn as much as, or a lot more than, their husbands has nearly tripled over the past 50 years. But this hasn’t stopped many men from feeling emasculated.
Texas-based therapist Duewa “Kaya” Spicer says an imbalance in earnings can manifest as a perceived power imbalance. If couples still assume the societal norm of the man being the primary breadwinner.
Of course, this isn’t always the case. Things can work “if both parties are secure in their earning and their role in the relationship,” notes the expert.
One of the ways money can rock the boat is when the higher-earning partner feels they have more say in decision-making. This could lead to conflict or resentment. While the partner who earns less might feel more pressure to contribute financially. Another cause of stress and strain in the relationship.
The lower-earning spouse might also think they need to match or exceed their partner’s income in order to feel like an equal. They could even consider working longer hours or taking on side hustles to do this. And more work essentially means less time with family. And added resentment.
Then there’s the 2023 study that revealed that despite many women earning more than their husbands, they’re still carrying the bigger load when it comes to household chores and duties.
The researchers found that American wives spend more time on housework and childcare, while their husbands spend more time on paid work and leisure. Another obvious cause for conflict and stress within the relationship…
Spicer says open communication is crucial when one partner earns more. “I cannot stress enough how important it is to discuss financial expectations early in the relationship,” she told psychentral.com.
“Ask your partner about how they engage with their finances,” adds the expert. “Just because one partner is a higher earner doesn’t automatically mean they are financially more responsible.”
You might also need to compromise, says another therapist. Candace Kotkin-De Carvalho suggests setting up a budget that works for both partners. Include things like fun activities, date nights, hobbies and vacations. And draw up an agreement that outlines your financial goals and expectations.
“Focus on celebrating each other’s successes and supporting one another through difficult times,” Kotkin-De Carvalho advises. “Acknowledge your partner’s hard work, efforts, and dedication to their career and express gratitude for their contributions to your lives. This will help them feel valued and respected regardless of their financial status.”
Image credits: Wavebreak Media (not the actual image)
“Don’t do it”: many people rallied behind the woman
Some netizens cautioned the woman to rethink the relationship and marriage
“I’d tell my son to drop you”: not everyone took the woman’s side
People shared their own similar stories
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What do you think ?
G A 4 months ago (edited)
YTAs can eff right off. Keep working, don't get married and go NC with his family.
WindySwede 4 months ago
"But you were supposed to be property..." is little how I thought they meant?
Load More Replies...
FranSinclair 4 months ago (edited)
No matter how amazing and caring that man is (or woman) that perfect person of 20yrs could Andy Byron and now youre left fooled, heartbroken and broke! The man who got the random girl 15 yrs his junior pregnant while you were supposed to be workinf on things doesnt care if you and your children are alright. You are your own first line of defense. It doesnt mean youre not all in or cant trust that person..just take care of u!
Load More Replies...
TCW Sam Vimes 4 months ago
All the YTA is exactly what is wrong in the world. Women, keep your jobs, and go rule the world, please
Tamra 4 months ago
Despite the ridiculous notion that this woman should give up her earning power and financial independence, these people never even apparently thought that she might get a great deal of satisfaction from work, and she might not even want to have children, let alone be a SAHM.
Breadcrumb. 4 months ago (edited)
She shouldn't give up her career and work free for her husband. Good for her, seeing right through it. Currently reading "everyone is lying to you" by Jo Piazza a thriller based on trad wives. It's really good so far!
Miki 4 months ago (edited)
I don't like her future husband stay silent. I mean he was there but she didn't say a thing about his response. I don't like it. He may me a parents puppet. The real problem may be if his parents starts to blackmailing them. Go girl and do you.
Tabitha 4 months ago (edited)
His trust fund depends on his parents, so he’s beholden to them for it, otherwise he’s on a teacher’s salary. I hate it when parents dangle that kind of carrot to control their kids. My father tried that c**p when he was in his eighties, to try to get me to quit my job to be his nursemaid—-I’m his only daughter and he never asked any of my four brothers to do the same, the old misogynist m**********r. I didn’t do it, and when he died, it turned out he had blown through all the money and assets he previously had. Guess retiring to Nevada wasn’t such a good idea, but I guess the casinos loved him. Anyway, OP is not on a trust, his parents have nothing to do with her money, so she owes them nothing. Now is the time for her husband to prove to his parents that nothing OP could do would emasculate him. He needs to stand up to them to prove he has solid gold balls and tell them to go f**k themselves.
Load More Replies...
Missy Moo Moo 4 months ago
A LOT of men think a woman’s value if she doesn’t work is zero. A colleague of mine divorced his wife and said it would have been cheaper to get a full time nanny after she gave up a career in engineering (dux to the degree too) to raise their 3 children. I told him to shut up and give her the money she asked for. Hence so many YTAs, it’s a popular opinion
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 4 months ago (edited)
"Ma'am, you're the one emasculating your baby boy and rudely interfering in my financial affairs. My husband, whoever he is, and I will be raising children fully capable of supporting themselves independently and not beholden to anyone trying to emasculate them by interfering and threatening to control and withdraw financial support. Dave, I'm leaving now, are you staying with your mummy?"
Michael Largey 4 months ago
Trying to dictate the workings of your son's marriage for him instead of letting him make his own decisions and handle them himself is emasculating him.
FranSinclair 4 months ago
How dare you make a conversation about money...about money. Anyone in a similar situation needs to cover their a*s. Anyone with joint incomes or SAHP. Divorce is s****y. I hope everyone besides Andy Byron has a long happy marriage till death does them part...but you need to wake up if you dont think your world might change drastically, quickly. I hope you can build something beautiful on that foundation but no one being unfairly shafted needs to be laid.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I feel like it might FIL who feels emasculated because apparently the mother has all the balls in that family. Nope, protect yourself, you can't predict what storms are coming in the future. You also don't have to marry a man who lets his mother do the talking for him.
Seadog 4 months ago
NTA. Typical rich mentality. "I'm better than you and no I won't help you in the least." Nearly every kid I went to school with for 10 years were the kids of every lawyer, doctor and major corporation owner. They all thought they were better than others like me. And they all had idea that mommy and daddy's money would always be there and they wouldn't have to do s**t the rest of their lives. I on the other hand began working retail at the age of 7, had my own business when I was 16. When I graduated, getting up every morning and going to work was just another day in the life. They on the overhand got a slap in the face of reality, they weren't going to just sit on their duff and live off family money. They suddenly had to work for a living. Makes me smile every time I see them now. Not so high and mighty as they thought they were. OP should've never married that loser and just needs to cut ties now and move on. She's way too good for him.
Joanne Hudson 4 months ago
I don't believe I've ever heard anything about in-laws and what they want in the marriage service yet that seems to be a hot topic ahead of time. John and Mary are creating their own life. DO THAT. JUST YOU TWO. I'm with bigsigh7 110%.
Kate Johnson 4 months ago
Wow, I would never have gone there, because when they made their suggestion I would have said, "I can't imagine where you got the idea that I would care, even slightly about your stupid opinions on this subject. What we choose to do is absolutely none of your business and your opinion on this subject has a less than zero percent priority in our lives. My husband is not emasculated by my job, because he's not a sexist moron, like you apparently are. So, in future, keep your worthless opinions on our relationship to yourself, or you will find yourself trying to remember what your son looks like and will never see your grandchildren. Are we clear now?"
Dragon Ashes 4 months ago
Is Tim really emasculated by his stbw or is he infantilized by his parents?
tameson 4 months ago
The YTAs didn't understand the OP's intentions at all. She wasn't making all those propositions to her future husband's family because she wanted them. What she wants it to keep her job and those propositions were just to show them that their demands that she quit her job were just ridiculous.
Carrie Laughs 4 months ago
I agree, she doesn't want those options particularly but if you go to Reddit and read further you can see that she is serious. She'll only be a SAHM on those terms as she is giving up a lot in terms of future potential earnings. She's very clued up about divorce rates, fully intends there to be a prenup that protects her, not just his trust fund. She's being very clear eyed about the future and what can go wrong.
Load More Replies... G A 4 months ago (edited)
YTAs can eff right off. Keep working, don't get married and go NC with his family.
WindySwede 4 months ago
"But you were supposed to be property..." is little how I thought they meant?
Load More Replies... FranSinclair 4 months ago (edited)
No matter how amazing and caring that man is (or woman) that perfect person of 20yrs could Andy Byron and now youre left fooled, heartbroken and broke! The man who got the random girl 15 yrs his junior pregnant while you were supposed to be workinf on things doesnt care if you and your children are alright. You are your own first line of defense. It doesnt mean youre not all in or cant trust that person..just take care of u!
Load More Replies... TCW Sam Vimes 4 months ago
All the YTA is exactly what is wrong in the world. Women, keep your jobs, and go rule the world, please
Tamra 4 months ago
Despite the ridiculous notion that this woman should give up her earning power and financial independence, these people never even apparently thought that she might get a great deal of satisfaction from work, and she might not even want to have children, let alone be a SAHM.
Breadcrumb. 4 months ago (edited)
She shouldn't give up her career and work free for her husband. Good for her, seeing right through it. Currently reading "everyone is lying to you" by Jo Piazza a thriller based on trad wives. It's really good so far!
Miki 4 months ago (edited)
I don't like her future husband stay silent. I mean he was there but she didn't say a thing about his response. I don't like it. He may me a parents puppet. The real problem may be if his parents starts to blackmailing them. Go girl and do you.
Tabitha 4 months ago (edited)
His trust fund depends on his parents, so he’s beholden to them for it, otherwise he’s on a teacher’s salary. I hate it when parents dangle that kind of carrot to control their kids. My father tried that c**p when he was in his eighties, to try to get me to quit my job to be his nursemaid—-I’m his only daughter and he never asked any of my four brothers to do the same, the old misogynist m**********r. I didn’t do it, and when he died, it turned out he had blown through all the money and assets he previously had. Guess retiring to Nevada wasn’t such a good idea, but I guess the casinos loved him. Anyway, OP is not on a trust, his parents have nothing to do with her money, so she owes them nothing. Now is the time for her husband to prove to his parents that nothing OP could do would emasculate him. He needs to stand up to them to prove he has solid gold balls and tell them to go f**k themselves.
Load More Replies... Missy Moo Moo 4 months ago
A LOT of men think a woman’s value if she doesn’t work is zero. A colleague of mine divorced his wife and said it would have been cheaper to get a full time nanny after she gave up a career in engineering (dux to the degree too) to raise their 3 children. I told him to shut up and give her the money she asked for. Hence so many YTAs, it’s a popular opinion
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 4 months ago (edited)
"Ma'am, you're the one emasculating your baby boy and rudely interfering in my financial affairs. My husband, whoever he is, and I will be raising children fully capable of supporting themselves independently and not beholden to anyone trying to emasculate them by interfering and threatening to control and withdraw financial support. Dave, I'm leaving now, are you staying with your mummy?"
Michael Largey 4 months ago
Trying to dictate the workings of your son's marriage for him instead of letting him make his own decisions and handle them himself is emasculating him.
FranSinclair 4 months ago
How dare you make a conversation about money...about money. Anyone in a similar situation needs to cover their a*s. Anyone with joint incomes or SAHP. Divorce is s****y. I hope everyone besides Andy Byron has a long happy marriage till death does them part...but you need to wake up if you dont think your world might change drastically, quickly. I hope you can build something beautiful on that foundation but no one being unfairly shafted needs to be laid.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I feel like it might FIL who feels emasculated because apparently the mother has all the balls in that family. Nope, protect yourself, you can't predict what storms are coming in the future. You also don't have to marry a man who lets his mother do the talking for him.
Seadog 4 months ago
NTA. Typical rich mentality. "I'm better than you and no I won't help you in the least." Nearly every kid I went to school with for 10 years were the kids of every lawyer, doctor and major corporation owner. They all thought they were better than others like me. And they all had idea that mommy and daddy's money would always be there and they wouldn't have to do s**t the rest of their lives. I on the other hand began working retail at the age of 7, had my own business when I was 16. When I graduated, getting up every morning and going to work was just another day in the life. They on the overhand got a slap in the face of reality, they weren't going to just sit on their duff and live off family money. They suddenly had to work for a living. Makes me smile every time I see them now. Not so high and mighty as they thought they were. OP should've never married that loser and just needs to cut ties now and move on. She's way too good for him.
Joanne Hudson 4 months ago
I don't believe I've ever heard anything about in-laws and what they want in the marriage service yet that seems to be a hot topic ahead of time. John and Mary are creating their own life. DO THAT. JUST YOU TWO. I'm with bigsigh7 110%.
Kate Johnson 4 months ago
Wow, I would never have gone there, because when they made their suggestion I would have said, "I can't imagine where you got the idea that I would care, even slightly about your stupid opinions on this subject. What we choose to do is absolutely none of your business and your opinion on this subject has a less than zero percent priority in our lives. My husband is not emasculated by my job, because he's not a sexist moron, like you apparently are. So, in future, keep your worthless opinions on our relationship to yourself, or you will find yourself trying to remember what your son looks like and will never see your grandchildren. Are we clear now?"
Dragon Ashes 4 months ago
Is Tim really emasculated by his stbw or is he infantilized by his parents?
tameson 4 months ago
The YTAs didn't understand the OP's intentions at all. She wasn't making all those propositions to her future husband's family because she wanted them. What she wants it to keep her job and those propositions were just to show them that their demands that she quit her job were just ridiculous.
Carrie Laughs 4 months ago
I agree, she doesn't want those options particularly but if you go to Reddit and read further you can see that she is serious. She'll only be a SAHM on those terms as she is giving up a lot in terms of future potential earnings. She's very clued up about divorce rates, fully intends there to be a prenup that protects her, not just his trust fund. She's being very clear eyed about the future and what can go wrong.
Load More Replies... You May Like Woman Shocked To Realize She Can’t Trust What Her Husband Says As He’s A Pathological Liar Man Goes Online To Vent About A Cheating Wife, Gets A Harsh Reality Check “Not Enough For A Divorce”: Woman Realizes She’s Her Husband’s Secret, Still Wants To Stay
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