Woman Assumes Mom’s Age So Badly, She Thinks She Left A Toddler Home Alone

It’s usually up to the parents to decide when their child is mature enough to be left home alone. However, there are always those people who question the parenting decisions of others, offer them unsolicited advice, or judge them without knowing the full picture. 

Like this woman, who, after overhearing one parent while camping, jumped to conclusions and threatened to call CPS because she left her son home alone. What she didn’t know was that the child was an adult, leaving her feeling dumbfounded when she learned the whole truth.

Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with Sari Beth Goodman, M.A., founder, certified parent educator, and coach at The Parental Edge, and Dennis Poncher, founder, author, and director at Because I Love You Parent Support Groups, who kindly agreed to chat with us more about leaving kids home alone.

Many people offer their opinions on parenting without being asked

Two people sitting outside a green tent enjoying drinks in a campsite under a blue sky.

Image credits: Diana Light / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

This stranger even threatened to call CPS on mother while camping when she overheard that she has left her son home alone

Text about a woman considering calling child services after a son was left at home during a camping trip.

Text about a camping trip with friends and family.

Text discussing concerns about leaving a son at home, mentioning emergency contacts and lack of signal coverage.

A woman in a green coat looking over her shoulder in a forest setting, related to child services inquiry.

Image credits: Roberta Sant’Anna / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text about a woman upset over a mother leaving her 18-year-old son home alone, considering calling child services.

Text describing mistaken concern over child left at home; mistaken age perception of parent.

Image credits: No_Raccoon_2387

A boy reading a book at home, sitting on a sofa, with a blurred living room background.

Image credits: bruce mars / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

“Child 12 years or older is ready to stay home alone”

Some states (14 to be exact) in the US have laws in place dictating how old children must be to stay at home all by themselves. For example, in Illinois, kids have to be 14, while in Kansas, they have to be at least 6 years old. The remaining states don’t have strict legislation, only recommendations, leaving this decision up to the parents.

“When there is no law, the general consensus is that a child 12 years or older is ready to stay home alone and can supervise younger children,” says Sari Beth Goodman, M.A., founder, certified parent educator, and coach at The Parental Edge.

“As far as what age a child should be able to stay home alone, it really depends on the child and the length of time that the parent will be gone. In most cases, parents are willing to let their 12-year-old stay home alone, providing the child is not one that shows signs of depression or anger,” seconds Dennis Poncher, founder, author, and director at Because I Love You Parent Support Groups.

However, age isn’t always a good indicator of whether a child could be left home alone. Some mature more quickly, while others take longer to do so. Therefore, Goodman advises evaluating their trustworthiness, independence, and street smarts to gauge whether they can be left solo:

• Trustworthiness – Does the child generally tell the truth, follow family rules, have trustworthy friends, and set an example of trustworthy behavior for younger children?
• Independence – Can the child fix simple meals, keep busy doing things other than be on a device, know how to use a fire extinguisher, and know where to go during an earthquake?
• Street smarts – Does not open the door to strangers or acquaintances who unexpectedly come to the door, does not give out private information, and does not post about being home without adult supervision.

Man and teen talking on a couch, reflecting a parent-child interaction at home.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Before leaving a child home alone, parents should have some ground rules they have to adhere to

Before leaving any child (even the older ones) home alone, Poncher suggests having some ground rules that they have to adhere to. “One of those rules should state that no friends are allowed in the home unless one or both parents are home. Remind your child that there will be consequences if the rules are broken,” he says.

Meanwhile, Goodman recommends thinking about the following factors before leaving kids alone at home:

• Base the age a child is left alone on the length of time adults will be away and the distance and time it will take for the adults to return. The longer the time away and the farther the distance, the older the child should be.
• Staying at home alone is a skill and should be taught. Start with short separation and distance times, go over safety rules, and teach skills like using a fire extinguisher and how to stay safe during a fire, earthquake, or flood.
• Are there adult neighbors or relatives nearby that can be called upon to help out?
• Is the child healthy? Does the child have any physical, emotional, or cognitive challenges?

When parents finally decide to leave their child alone, it’s important that they provide them with a phone number they can reach in case of an emergency and check in with them regularly. “When parents first start leaving a child alone or supervising other children, make a plan as to how the check-in will go. Depending on the duration of being alone, they may decide to call or text every ½ hour or hour,” says Goodman.

“The frequency is set up ahead of time so the child does not feel that he/she is not being trusted. It’s just part of the plan. As time goes on, the planned check-ins can have longer intervals. There should always be a plan for a check-in. It is part of being responsible,” she concludes.

Commenters found it hilarious that the stranger jumped to conclusions so quickly

Reddit comment about a woman wanting to report someone to child services for leaving their son home alone.

Comment about being mistaken for a young, irresponsible parent with 104 points.

Image of a Reddit comment discussing judgment without context related to leaving a child at home.

User comment about questioning son’s age in a child services scenario.

Text post about child services mistaking son for his own parent at home alone.

Reddit comment about being in boot camp at 17 and traveling the world with the US Navy.

Comment on leaving son at home referencing sippy cup and Cheerios.

Text from a user reminiscing about babysitting a toddler and baby for a weekend at age 11.

Comment on 17-year-olds living alone, highlighting independence and challenging views on leaving kids at home alone.

Reddit comment about age perception, humorously mentioning having older children.

User comment about being left home alone as a child, humorously noting the generational difference.

Text post discussing someone wanting to call child services for a child left at home alone.

Reddit comment about child services and parenting decisions, mentioning asking about child’s age and minding one's own business.

Comment on child services concern, highlighting misinterpretation.

Reddit comment discussing teenagers being left home alone.

Some even shared similar stories

Text exchange about leaving grown children at home, mistaken for negligence.

Text post about a man's experience buying a bracelet for his wife's 50th birthday, mistaken for his mother.

Text from an online forum discussing parenting experiences and perceptions of neglect.

Text post about a misunderstanding involving calling Child Services over canned food purchases.

Text from online forum about age confusion during ER visit with brother.

Reddit comment discussing perceptions of age and related judgments toward the user's husband.

Text from a comment discussing child services concerns when leaving kids at home with their dad.

Text recounting a humorous misunderstanding about kids' bathing habits and a call to child services.

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