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“I Want A Divorce ASAP”: Mom’s ‘Solution’ For Gay Son Stuns Husband, Violence Ensues
Most parents are prepared to love their children no matter what. Even though their kid might be different, they change their own way of seeing the world for them because they understand that their kid not “fitting in” isn’t something that can be changed. Ideally, that’s the way it should be—parents loving their children unconditionally and always being there to support them regardless of what life throws at them.
Unfortunately, this mom couldn’t accept the fact that her son wasn’t attracted to the opposite sex. She even suggested they send him to a conversion camp, where they will “cure” and “fix” him. The husband couldn’t get on board nor believe what his wife was proposing and was ready to protect his kids at all costs, even if it meant leaving the mother of his children.
RELATED:
Unfortunately, not all parents love their children unconditionally
Image credits: gryffyn m / unsplash (not the actual photo)
This mom couldn’t live with the fact that her son wasn’t attracted to the opposite sex and even tried “fixing” him
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Stunning-Mud9227
Coming out is a huge release of emotions like fear, hope, joy, and anger
Coming out is a very big moment. It’s a huge release of emotions like fear, hope, joy, and anger that have been bottling up in a person for however long they knew they’re a proud part of the LGBTQ community. There’s really no right or wrong timing or way to do it so it’s important that when a child comes to their parents, they appropriately react and offer their best support.
In the moment, experts recommend remaining as calm as possible. Coming out might not be as glamorous as some movies portray it to be. It might happen spontaneously during a heated argument or a fight so it’s important to stay zen. Parents should fully listen to what their child has to say and nod in confirmation that they are actively doing so.
The situation should be all about the offspring and how they feel. Therefore, guardians should refrain from imposing their own opinions or emotions. On top of that, it’s totally okay if the child isn’t ready to talk about everything yet, they will do so on their own time.
When they’ve shared what they wanted to, the parents can positively react by saying that they’re glad they told them and thanking them for trusting and being honest with them. They can also definitely offer a hug and affirm that they will always love them and support them no matter what. Ask them how they feel so they can process what has happened.
“The most important thing you can do is to tell your child how much you love them”
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Now the first don’t (which excludes mom’s behavior from the story) is saying, “I already knew!” Some may feel comforted that their loved ones were already aware, but others may be terrified they didn’t keep their secret hidden enough. To stay on the safe side, it’s better to refrain from speaking out this phrase altogether. It’s also best to forget jokes and stereotypes and just listen with an open mind and show interest in learning and doing better.
Another don’t is saying, “It’s just a phase!” It’s very likely that they won’t “grow out” of homosexuality and downplaying isn’t going to make them feel better. By coming out, the child is simply informing the parents that it’s just who they are and that that heterosexuality isn’t their default setting. Denying it isn’t going to change the fact. Instead, the child’s feelings need to be acknowledged and taken seriously.
Parental support is crucial during such a period in an adolescent’s life. A study in child development by researchers at the University of Texas revealed that those who felt greater social support from their parents had fewer depressive symptoms than those who experienced psychological support from their parents.
Dr. Caitlin Ryan, clinical social worker and LGBTQ health and mental health researcher, suggests, “The most important thing you can do is to tell your child how much you love them. Your love reassures them that you are there for them and it creates space to talk honestly about each other’s feelings. This helps your family stay connected and grow together.”
The author provided more information in the comments
Readers supported the father and agreed that the son doesn’t need fixing
Later, the dad came back with an update
Readers were glad that the dad stood up for his kids
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What do you think ?
Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago
To the 2% of voters saying he should reconcile, WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Sheena Chaffee 1 year ago
Came to ask this and wish them the life they deserve. And not the nice way either the f**k?!
Load More Replies...
Leoninus Fate 1 year ago (edited)
I've had a Hard life {if you read back on my posts/profile you can see how bad it was} but this hurts, I know how this is and I have adopted over 6 teens {now adults yay~ I'm proud~} that were in the family like that but with both parents like the mom, and I'm just... so happy that father was there for the son in that way, and i can only say ... oh god to what that woman did after being confronted...
Red PANda (any pronouns) 1 year ago
Omg this story is terrible but I’m glad it has hope of a happy ending, and that she’s facing charges. Discrimination can cause people to turn ugly like that, I’ve seen it happen before.
Sand Ers 1 year ago
They're already ugly. Thst's what prompts the discrimination and bigotry.
Load More Replies... Jaya 1 year ago
Let's stop calling them conversion camps and start calling them what they are: torture camps. There's a reason countries are starting to forbid them: it's child abuse.
V 1 year ago
Paris Hilton has been pretty open about the hell she went through when she was taken to one of the camps for "troubled" teens. Not a conversion camp, but they are still rife with similar types of abuse that causes a lot of ongoing mental health issues for the participants. Any of these sort of camps that as someone aptly put outsource the abuse of your children should be banned.
Lost Panda 1 year ago
Not even sure that you should care if you were the a*****e or not in this situation. Let people believe what they will, but you want what's best for your kid to hell with the rest.
The Other Guest 1 year ago (edited)
OK, I'd love to hear from the folks selecting "reconcile with the wife" in the poll up there. She assaulted her son, called him homophobic slurs, tried to "cure" him by setting up dates with girls & threatening to send him to a conversion camp, and broke OP's ribs, but sure, let's kiss and make up. Seriously, what's your logic here? (Edited to correct spelling error)
Ivy at Eve 1 year ago
They probably agree with mum. I hope his kids are ok (therapy isn't a bad suggestion, the normal non- conversion type ofc) and that OP finds peace again. Good for him to change his view and to love his son unconditionally.
Load More Replies...
Littlemiss 1 year ago
Hopefully they all get as far away from her as possible. Awful creature that the egg donor is.
Doodles1983 1 year ago
Leave. And fight for sole custody. Get the wife to write this down as evidence of abuse. Don't stay for Kids. You all deserve better.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
I don't think he needs to get the wife to write down anything. The police report and hospital records should be enough evidence of the mother's abuse of the son/kids.
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
OP was doing the right thing, I hope his ex has made it easier with documentable physical violence. It will make restraining orders etc more obtainable, and makes it more likely OP can keep the house. So glad the daughter understood what was going on, at least in the broad strokes. .
Parmeisan 1 year ago
Yeah, terrible as it seems she may have done them all a favour with the physical abuse. I was very concerned that he would divorce her and then she would win custody and send Noah to the camp. Even partial custody ... no, even unsupervised visitaation with her would be a nightmare every second the child is with her, and yet how likely is it really that the father would be able to convince a court that the mom should have no custody and only supervised visitation? Based on he-said-she-said, I think not so likely.
Load More Replies...
Trillian 1 year ago
Well done. If somebody tries to harm my kids I will set that person in fire. But how can you be married to someone for 14 years without realizing they are a raging homophobe? Or is this another case of "it was ok until it started affecting me"?
Bookworm 1 year ago
I'm thinking this is more of a 'we didn't talk about this until it affected someone in our lives ' situation. I wouldn't immediately jump to the negative.
Load More Replies...
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
What a story. But yeah, dad, anyone who doesn't want to send their kids to proven torture camps just so they learn to hide their true self has their head on right.
Ace 1 year ago
What saddens me is that even the dad, reasonable as he may be trying to be, finds it "hard to accept" that his son is gay, so even he has been brainwashed by society to think that there's something inherently wrong about it. It's unfortunate that these attitudes are still so prevalent.
LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen 1 year ago
There was a great story about a kiddo who had some midwestern psrents, like farmer “conservative” type. So kiddo finally told his dad he was gay in a note with the BEST response ever. Something like, well, if you’re out, can you pick up some orange juice while you’re out. Like that dad loved his son and did not care in the slightest what son is or isn’t. That is the correct answer. Help kiddos be happy. No matter what that looks like.
Xenia Harley 1 year ago
Sounds like the wife needs counseling. I hope she gets it in jail, where she deserves to be. Horrible woman.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Omg, that emotional roller-coaster! I simultaneously want to bludgeon the mother, hold this young gay man & cry with him, while possibly breaking another of OP's ribs from hugging him so tightly. 😑
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
That police report will likely automatically gain him full custody - she literally assaulted her own kids.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
He should definitely get a restraining order, change the locks, and dump her s**t on the curb. She is a disgusting waste of space.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
Get a restraining order. That means she’ll have to leave the house and you can change the locks. The house will have to be sold and assets divided but not until later in the divorce proceedings. Freeze any joint accounts so she can’t drain them. Do this before she makes bail. But I’m sure his lawyer will tell him this.
BoredPangolin 1 year ago
Be this post and the Dad's update a lesson for all the fathers out there. That's what a good mother expects of you.
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
Yeah, but a good mother would never have made it necessary in the first place.
Load More Replies...
Tone Sandman 1 year ago
I'm soo sorry that you and your Kids had to go trough(?) this! (english is not my first language, I'm sorry for spelling-mistakes) You, Sir, is an Amazing good dad and a very good person! I cried when i read your story & I bawled my eyes out by the end. Your kids Will allways remember how you made them feel & they Will allways know how much you Love them! This makes my heart heal & smile!
The Other Guest 1 year ago
It's "through." And no need to apologize, I guarantee that you speak/write English better than many people, myself included, speak/write any language that *isn't* English. (PS - "trough" is also a word; it's what farm animals eat out of.)
Load More Replies...
WeeBitOfSumfin 1 year ago
I have a daughter. I don't give a rats a*s if she's into boys or girls or both. I just want her to be safe and happy.
Trey Peters 1 year ago
Nice to see a father doing what he's supposed to. I know in a few states that the judge will put a protection order whether it's requested or not (judge boyd in Texas is a great example when it comes to keeping the abusive parent away from the victim). Hopefully, keeping her away for a bit will give dad and his kids time to gtfo. Mom needs to realize that being gay isn't a choice, just like being straight isn't a choice.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago (edited)
I feel for this family, minus the egg donor. When I came out to my parents around 17/18 years old my Dad was like okay cool, but my mother on the other hand was disgusted. She didn't really say much to me at the initial conversation but she didn't have to, the look on her face said it all. When I was in my first serious relationship with a girl, I would talk with my dad about our last date or just how amazing my gf treated me, or whatever and my mother would say things like eww, how can you be a c************r? There was also a time when my mother and I were arguing, I forget about what but apparently I was giving too much attitude or whatever and she swung at me but I moved and she missed. She again went to try and punch me in my face but luckily my dad held her back. I understand that parenting is hard and can be extremely frustrating at times but it's never okay to punch or physically punish your kid, imo. I'm glad Noah has a supportive dad & sis.
Steve Robert 1 year ago
What is it with people who can't accept that someone is gay. I don't care what your sexuality is. And being gay has nothing to do with sex. It's about who a person is romantically thinks their attracted to. And that's none of my business. I wouldn't be surprised if the mother subconsciously is attracted to women, and the anger shown to her son is really the anger she has against herself. That's why she reacted the way she did. Imo, the most homophobic people are closeted gays who hate themselves, so they transfer that hate to those who don't give a fuuck and have decided to live their true lives.
Mark Childers 1 year ago
Never understood that attitude. He was born the way he was born, and that's 100% fine. He's still her son, and I always thought parental love was unconditional love. .I have a lot of gay friends, and they're some of the best people I know.
nuberiffic 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah, the kid is confused. Let him be confused. Being a teenager is confusing. Discovering your sexuality is confusing. It's kinda supposed to be. Having someone "clear things up" for you, and tell you how you should be feeling is never gonna yield positive results. Maybe he's straight and this is just a phase, maybe he's the most fabulous queen in all existence. Who cares? That's his business. He needs to figure it out. So sad to see that bigotry is still alive and well in 2024.
Nichole Harris 1 year ago
I'm a conservative Republican Christian..... This is nasty 🤢 just deplorable.....I hope God has mercy on that witch because I sure couldn't
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
Conversion camps are still legal in the USA? How utterly barbaric. Damn proud of this dad for standing up for his kid.
Robin Roper 1 year ago
Run from this evil person and do everything possible to protect your son!
JennaOrtegaObsession 1 year ago
People like OP give me hope for the world. His ex, not so much.
Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago
To the 2% of voters saying he should reconcile, WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Sheena Chaffee 1 year ago
Came to ask this and wish them the life they deserve. And not the nice way either the f**k?!
Load More Replies... Leoninus Fate 1 year ago (edited)
I've had a Hard life {if you read back on my posts/profile you can see how bad it was} but this hurts, I know how this is and I have adopted over 6 teens {now adults yay~ I'm proud~} that were in the family like that but with both parents like the mom, and I'm just... so happy that father was there for the son in that way, and i can only say ... oh god to what that woman did after being confronted...
Red PANda (any pronouns) 1 year ago
Omg this story is terrible but I’m glad it has hope of a happy ending, and that she’s facing charges. Discrimination can cause people to turn ugly like that, I’ve seen it happen before.
Sand Ers 1 year ago
They're already ugly. Thst's what prompts the discrimination and bigotry.
Load More Replies... Jaya 1 year ago
Let's stop calling them conversion camps and start calling them what they are: torture camps. There's a reason countries are starting to forbid them: it's child abuse.
V 1 year ago
Paris Hilton has been pretty open about the hell she went through when she was taken to one of the camps for "troubled" teens. Not a conversion camp, but they are still rife with similar types of abuse that causes a lot of ongoing mental health issues for the participants. Any of these sort of camps that as someone aptly put outsource the abuse of your children should be banned.
Lost Panda 1 year ago
Not even sure that you should care if you were the a*****e or not in this situation. Let people believe what they will, but you want what's best for your kid to hell with the rest.
The Other Guest 1 year ago (edited)
OK, I'd love to hear from the folks selecting "reconcile with the wife" in the poll up there. She assaulted her son, called him homophobic slurs, tried to "cure" him by setting up dates with girls & threatening to send him to a conversion camp, and broke OP's ribs, but sure, let's kiss and make up. Seriously, what's your logic here? (Edited to correct spelling error)
Ivy at Eve 1 year ago
They probably agree with mum. I hope his kids are ok (therapy isn't a bad suggestion, the normal non- conversion type ofc) and that OP finds peace again. Good for him to change his view and to love his son unconditionally.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 1 year ago
Hopefully they all get as far away from her as possible. Awful creature that the egg donor is.
Doodles1983 1 year ago
Leave. And fight for sole custody. Get the wife to write this down as evidence of abuse. Don't stay for Kids. You all deserve better.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
I don't think he needs to get the wife to write down anything. The police report and hospital records should be enough evidence of the mother's abuse of the son/kids.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
OP was doing the right thing, I hope his ex has made it easier with documentable physical violence. It will make restraining orders etc more obtainable, and makes it more likely OP can keep the house. So glad the daughter understood what was going on, at least in the broad strokes. .
Parmeisan 1 year ago
Yeah, terrible as it seems she may have done them all a favour with the physical abuse. I was very concerned that he would divorce her and then she would win custody and send Noah to the camp. Even partial custody ... no, even unsupervised visitaation with her would be a nightmare every second the child is with her, and yet how likely is it really that the father would be able to convince a court that the mom should have no custody and only supervised visitation? Based on he-said-she-said, I think not so likely.
Load More Replies... Trillian 1 year ago
Well done. If somebody tries to harm my kids I will set that person in fire. But how can you be married to someone for 14 years without realizing they are a raging homophobe? Or is this another case of "it was ok until it started affecting me"?
Bookworm 1 year ago
I'm thinking this is more of a 'we didn't talk about this until it affected someone in our lives ' situation. I wouldn't immediately jump to the negative.
Load More Replies... Virgil Blue 1 year ago
What a story. But yeah, dad, anyone who doesn't want to send their kids to proven torture camps just so they learn to hide their true self has their head on right.
Ace 1 year ago
What saddens me is that even the dad, reasonable as he may be trying to be, finds it "hard to accept" that his son is gay, so even he has been brainwashed by society to think that there's something inherently wrong about it. It's unfortunate that these attitudes are still so prevalent.
LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen 1 year ago
There was a great story about a kiddo who had some midwestern psrents, like farmer “conservative” type. So kiddo finally told his dad he was gay in a note with the BEST response ever. Something like, well, if you’re out, can you pick up some orange juice while you’re out. Like that dad loved his son and did not care in the slightest what son is or isn’t. That is the correct answer. Help kiddos be happy. No matter what that looks like.
Xenia Harley 1 year ago
Sounds like the wife needs counseling. I hope she gets it in jail, where she deserves to be. Horrible woman.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Omg, that emotional roller-coaster! I simultaneously want to bludgeon the mother, hold this young gay man & cry with him, while possibly breaking another of OP's ribs from hugging him so tightly. 😑
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
That police report will likely automatically gain him full custody - she literally assaulted her own kids.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
He should definitely get a restraining order, change the locks, and dump her s**t on the curb. She is a disgusting waste of space.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
Get a restraining order. That means she’ll have to leave the house and you can change the locks. The house will have to be sold and assets divided but not until later in the divorce proceedings. Freeze any joint accounts so she can’t drain them. Do this before she makes bail. But I’m sure his lawyer will tell him this.
BoredPangolin 1 year ago
Be this post and the Dad's update a lesson for all the fathers out there. That's what a good mother expects of you.
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
Yeah, but a good mother would never have made it necessary in the first place.
Load More Replies... Tone Sandman 1 year ago
I'm soo sorry that you and your Kids had to go trough(?) this! (english is not my first language, I'm sorry for spelling-mistakes) You, Sir, is an Amazing good dad and a very good person! I cried when i read your story & I bawled my eyes out by the end. Your kids Will allways remember how you made them feel & they Will allways know how much you Love them! This makes my heart heal & smile!
The Other Guest 1 year ago
It's "through." And no need to apologize, I guarantee that you speak/write English better than many people, myself included, speak/write any language that *isn't* English. (PS - "trough" is also a word; it's what farm animals eat out of.)
Load More Replies... WeeBitOfSumfin 1 year ago
I have a daughter. I don't give a rats a*s if she's into boys or girls or both. I just want her to be safe and happy.
Trey Peters 1 year ago
Nice to see a father doing what he's supposed to. I know in a few states that the judge will put a protection order whether it's requested or not (judge boyd in Texas is a great example when it comes to keeping the abusive parent away from the victim). Hopefully, keeping her away for a bit will give dad and his kids time to gtfo. Mom needs to realize that being gay isn't a choice, just like being straight isn't a choice.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago (edited)
I feel for this family, minus the egg donor. When I came out to my parents around 17/18 years old my Dad was like okay cool, but my mother on the other hand was disgusted. She didn't really say much to me at the initial conversation but she didn't have to, the look on her face said it all. When I was in my first serious relationship with a girl, I would talk with my dad about our last date or just how amazing my gf treated me, or whatever and my mother would say things like eww, how can you be a c************r? There was also a time when my mother and I were arguing, I forget about what but apparently I was giving too much attitude or whatever and she swung at me but I moved and she missed. She again went to try and punch me in my face but luckily my dad held her back. I understand that parenting is hard and can be extremely frustrating at times but it's never okay to punch or physically punish your kid, imo. I'm glad Noah has a supportive dad & sis.
Steve Robert 1 year ago
What is it with people who can't accept that someone is gay. I don't care what your sexuality is. And being gay has nothing to do with sex. It's about who a person is romantically thinks their attracted to. And that's none of my business. I wouldn't be surprised if the mother subconsciously is attracted to women, and the anger shown to her son is really the anger she has against herself. That's why she reacted the way she did. Imo, the most homophobic people are closeted gays who hate themselves, so they transfer that hate to those who don't give a fuuck and have decided to live their true lives.
Mark Childers 1 year ago
Never understood that attitude. He was born the way he was born, and that's 100% fine. He's still her son, and I always thought parental love was unconditional love. .I have a lot of gay friends, and they're some of the best people I know.
nuberiffic 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah, the kid is confused. Let him be confused. Being a teenager is confusing. Discovering your sexuality is confusing. It's kinda supposed to be. Having someone "clear things up" for you, and tell you how you should be feeling is never gonna yield positive results. Maybe he's straight and this is just a phase, maybe he's the most fabulous queen in all existence. Who cares? That's his business. He needs to figure it out. So sad to see that bigotry is still alive and well in 2024.
Nichole Harris 1 year ago
I'm a conservative Republican Christian..... This is nasty 🤢 just deplorable.....I hope God has mercy on that witch because I sure couldn't
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
Conversion camps are still legal in the USA? How utterly barbaric. Damn proud of this dad for standing up for his kid.
Robin Roper 1 year ago
Run from this evil person and do everything possible to protect your son!
JennaOrtegaObsession 1 year ago
People like OP give me hope for the world. His ex, not so much.
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