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“I Want A Divorce ASAP”: Mom’s ‘Solution’ For Gay Son Stuns Husband, Violence Ensues
“I Want A Divorce ASAP”: Mom’s ‘Solution’ For Gay Son Stuns Husband, Violence Ensues
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“I Want A Divorce ASAP”: Mom’s ‘Solution’ For Gay Son Stuns Husband, Violence Ensues

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Most parents are prepared to love their children no matter what. Even though their kid might be different, they change their own way of seeing the world for them because they understand that their kid not “fitting in” isn’t something that can be changed. Ideally, that’s the way it should be—parents loving their children unconditionally and always being there to support them regardless of what life throws at them.

Unfortunately, this mom couldn’t accept the fact that her son wasn’t attracted to the opposite sex. She even suggested they send him to a conversion camp, where they will “cure” and “fix” him. The husband couldn’t get on board nor believe what his wife was proposing and was ready to protect his kids at all costs, even if it meant leaving the mother of his children.

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    Unfortunately, not all parents love their children unconditionally

    Image credits: gryffyn m / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    This mom couldn’t live with the fact that her son wasn’t attracted to the opposite sex and even tried “fixing” him

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Timur Weber / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Stunning-Mud9227

    Coming out is a huge release of emotions like fear, hope, joy, and anger

    Coming out is a very big moment. It’s a huge release of emotions like fear, hope, joy, and anger that have been bottling up in a person for however long they knew they’re a proud part of the LGBTQ community. There’s really no right or wrong timing or way to do it so it’s important that when a child comes to their parents, they appropriately react and offer their best support.

    In the moment, experts recommend remaining as calm as possible. Coming out might not be as glamorous as some movies portray it to be. It might happen spontaneously during a heated argument or a fight so it’s important to stay zen. Parents should fully listen to what their child has to say and nod in confirmation that they are actively doing so. 

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    The situation should be all about the offspring and how they feel. Therefore, guardians should refrain from imposing their own opinions or emotions. On top of that, it’s totally okay if the child isn’t ready to talk about everything yet, they will do so on their own time. 

    When they’ve shared what they wanted to, the parents can positively react by saying that they’re glad they told them and thanking them for trusting and being honest with them. They can also definitely offer a hug and affirm that they will always love them and support them no matter what. Ask them how they feel so they can process what has happened. 

    “The most important thing you can do is to tell your child how much you love them”

    Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Now the first don’t (which excludes mom’s behavior from the story) is saying, “I already knew!” Some may feel comforted that their loved ones were already aware, but others may be terrified they didn’t keep their secret hidden enough. To stay on the safe side, it’s better to refrain from speaking out this phrase altogether. It’s also best to forget jokes and stereotypes and just listen with an open mind and show interest in learning and doing better. 

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    Another don’t is saying, “It’s just a phase!” It’s very likely that they won’t “grow out” of homosexuality and downplaying isn’t going to make them feel better. By coming out, the child is simply informing the parents that it’s just who they are and that that heterosexuality isn’t their default setting. Denying it isn’t going to change the fact. Instead, the child’s feelings need to be acknowledged and taken seriously. 

    Parental support is crucial during such a period in an adolescent’s life. A study in child development by researchers at the University of Texas revealed that those who felt greater social support from their parents had fewer depressive symptoms than those who experienced psychological support from their parents. 

    Dr. Caitlin Ryan, clinical social worker and LGBTQ health and mental health researcher, suggests, “The most important thing you can do is to tell your child how much you love them. Your love reassures them that you are there for them and it creates space to talk honestly about each other’s feelings. This helps your family stay connected and grow together.”

    The author provided more information in the comments

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    Readers supported the father and agreed that the son doesn’t need fixing

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    Later, the dad came back with an update

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    Readers were glad that the dad stood up for his kids

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    Poll Question

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    What do you think ?
    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To the 2% of voters saying he should reconcile, WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU.

    Sheena Chaffee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Came to ask this and wish them the life they deserve. And not the nice way either the f**k?!

    Load More Replies...
    Leoninus Fate
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've had a Hard life {if you read back on my posts/profile you can see how bad it was} but this hurts, I know how this is and I have adopted over 6 teens {now adults yay~ I'm proud~} that were in the family like that but with both parents like the mom, and I'm just... so happy that father was there for the son in that way, and i can only say ... oh god to what that woman did after being confronted...

    Red PANda (any pronouns)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg this story is terrible but I’m glad it has hope of a happy ending, and that she’s facing charges. Discrimination can cause people to turn ugly like that, I’ve seen it happen before.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They're already ugly. Thst's what prompts the discrimination and bigotry.

    Load More Replies...
    Jaya
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's stop calling them conversion camps and start calling them what they are: torture camps. There's a reason countries are starting to forbid them: it's child abuse.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, I'd love to hear from the folks selecting "reconcile with the wife" in the poll up there. She assaulted her son, called him homophobic slurs, tried to "cure" him by setting up dates with girls & threatening to send him to a conversion camp, and broke OP's ribs, but sure, let's kiss and make up. Seriously, what's your logic here? (Edited to correct spelling error)

    Ivy at Eve
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They probably agree with mum. I hope his kids are ok (therapy isn't a bad suggestion, the normal non- conversion type ofc) and that OP finds peace again. Good for him to change his view and to love his son unconditionally.

    Load More Replies...
    V
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Paris Hilton has been pretty open about the hell she went through when she was taken to one of the camps for "troubled" teens. Not a conversion camp, but they are still rife with similar types of abuse that causes a lot of ongoing mental health issues for the participants. Any of these sort of camps that as someone aptly put outsource the abuse of your children should be banned.

    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even sure that you should care if you were the a*****e or not in this situation. Let people believe what they will, but you want what's best for your kid to hell with the rest.

    Matthew Barabas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i would have divorced her the instant she suggested that.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hopefully they all get as far away from her as possible. Awful creature that the egg donor is.

    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leave. And fight for sole custody. Get the wife to write this down as evidence of abuse. Don't stay for Kids. You all deserve better.

    FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think he needs to get the wife to write down anything. The police report and hospital records should be enough evidence of the mother's abuse of the son/kids.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To the 2% of voters saying he should reconcile, WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU.

    Sheena Chaffee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Came to ask this and wish them the life they deserve. And not the nice way either the f**k?!

    Load More Replies...
    Leoninus Fate
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've had a Hard life {if you read back on my posts/profile you can see how bad it was} but this hurts, I know how this is and I have adopted over 6 teens {now adults yay~ I'm proud~} that were in the family like that but with both parents like the mom, and I'm just... so happy that father was there for the son in that way, and i can only say ... oh god to what that woman did after being confronted...

    Red PANda (any pronouns)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg this story is terrible but I’m glad it has hope of a happy ending, and that she’s facing charges. Discrimination can cause people to turn ugly like that, I’ve seen it happen before.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They're already ugly. Thst's what prompts the discrimination and bigotry.

    Load More Replies...
    Jaya
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's stop calling them conversion camps and start calling them what they are: torture camps. There's a reason countries are starting to forbid them: it's child abuse.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, I'd love to hear from the folks selecting "reconcile with the wife" in the poll up there. She assaulted her son, called him homophobic slurs, tried to "cure" him by setting up dates with girls & threatening to send him to a conversion camp, and broke OP's ribs, but sure, let's kiss and make up. Seriously, what's your logic here? (Edited to correct spelling error)

    Ivy at Eve
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They probably agree with mum. I hope his kids are ok (therapy isn't a bad suggestion, the normal non- conversion type ofc) and that OP finds peace again. Good for him to change his view and to love his son unconditionally.

    Load More Replies...
    V
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Paris Hilton has been pretty open about the hell she went through when she was taken to one of the camps for "troubled" teens. Not a conversion camp, but they are still rife with similar types of abuse that causes a lot of ongoing mental health issues for the participants. Any of these sort of camps that as someone aptly put outsource the abuse of your children should be banned.

    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even sure that you should care if you were the a*****e or not in this situation. Let people believe what they will, but you want what's best for your kid to hell with the rest.

    Matthew Barabas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i would have divorced her the instant she suggested that.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hopefully they all get as far away from her as possible. Awful creature that the egg donor is.

    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leave. And fight for sole custody. Get the wife to write this down as evidence of abuse. Don't stay for Kids. You all deserve better.

    FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think he needs to get the wife to write down anything. The police report and hospital records should be enough evidence of the mother's abuse of the son/kids.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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