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“He Works On Nuclear Reactors”: Woman Calls Husband Uneducated, Gets Called Out
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“He Works On Nuclear Reactors”: Woman Calls Husband Uneducated, Gets Called Out

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While a college degree is generally the bare minimum of schooling we imagine when thinking about who is and isn’t educated, it’s important to remember that it’s not the only source of knowledge.

So one wife ended up in hot water when she joked about her husband being “uneducated” despite him working on a nuclear submarine. Her reasoning was that he technically didn’t have a college degree nor did he enjoy reading a lot of fiction. She turned to the internet for advice and clarification and discovered that netizens had very little sympathy for her actions.

Calling your partner uneducated in a public setting is generally a bad idea

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

But it’s exactly what one woman did during a dinner party, despite her husband’s high-skilled job

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Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: NavyWifeAITA

Image credits: U.S. Navy (not the actual photo)

So first and foremost, working on any submarine, let alone a navy nuclear submarine, is a very, very highly skilled job requiring rigorous training, study, and experience. After all, who would allow some “uneducated” simpleton access to the most advanced military hardware in the world?

She is also working from the misguided opinion that a “regular” university degree is the only way one can be formally considered educated. In fact, many of the certifications that military specialists go through are actually recognized, at least within their field. The only difference might be the lack of electives, as nuclear submariners perhaps have less use from contemporary literature, for example.

However, as many comments point out, it doesn’t matter where he works, openly calling your partner “uneducated” is simply rude. Because education can be seen as “binary,” that is, you either have a degree or don’t, it perhaps sounds more factual. But in this context, it just looks like she is calling him dumb. Even if it were true, insulting your spouse for a bit of clout at a friendly dinner is horrible behavior.

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Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

Her educational snobbism is particularly confusing, given that he works a job that the vast majority of the population would never be able to get. Not only is it intensely specialized and selective, it’s stressful and dangerous. This is something she casually overlooks because, you see, he has a relatively conventional favorite book.

To OP’s husband’s credit, perhaps he doesn’t share enough about his job for her to truly understand the complexity. Given that large parts of it are no doubt secretive, maybe he was simply playing on the safe side. After, goading a specialist into spilling state secrets to satisfy their ego is a pretty common cliche in spy stories.

But the real drama here is the lack of understanding from the wife. While perhaps her statements were not the worst possible variant that they could have been, the fact that her partner said he didn’t like it and she didn’t react is quite telling. Indeed, instead of just accepting that he felt bad and apologizing, she was so confused by her actions that she had to poll the internet.

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Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)

From the husband’s perspective, it almost looks like she valued the opinions of random netizens over how her spouse felt. Fortunately for all involved (save, perhaps, OP,) people on the internet united to call out OP. Perhaps this could be a good reality check for her to deal with her snobbism and to understand her husband’s emotions more.

She might also not take some time and consider why she needed to “explain” her husband’s answer to a friend, despite the fact that what he said was clear and made sense. If she is, for some reason, operating under the assumption that he isn’t “smart” she should probably reassess both the feeling of superiority (very toxic in a relationship) and the delusion that she is smarter than a person who works on a nuclear submarine.

Readers called her out in the comments

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gillandbella avatar
Gillbella
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if he wasn't a nuclear sub maintainer, telling everyone at a party he wasn't educated then laughing was nasty. And cruel.

hargreavesbeth6 avatar
CatLady
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd call her a rhymes-with-witch even if her husband was a janitor. Every useful skill deserves respect. I can enjoy my time at the library in part because somebody vacuums and dusts and mops floors there. I stay healthier because people clean public toilets. Mowed grass makes a public park much nicer. It's safer and easier to walk downtown in winter on shovelled sidewalks and drive plowed roads. I can drive my car because someone changes the oil for me and pumps my gas (smell triggers migraines). I've had several major GI surgeries, and I'm bleeping grateful for the technicians who sterilize the instruments.

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laura_ketteridge avatar
arthbach
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What sort of idiot calls their partner 'uneducated'? And what sort raving lunatic thinks uneducated people are allowed work on nuclear reactors?! Her husband will have had a highly specialised education. He might well not be interested in reading fiction, but I can be he has read many technical manuals.

blacke4dawn avatar
BlackestDawn
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At a minimum he has the same educational level as civilian nuclear engineer, possibly higher due to the military nature and different daily risks that brings that civilians don't deal with. And as you and some others have alluded to, educational level does not correlate to finding reading to be relaxing.

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brittenelson_1 avatar
B.Nelson
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A proper response, "he doesn't have a lot of time to read for fun because his job is difficult and stressful and most of his reading time is spent on those 1000 pages manuals." Also, my mom teaches English and reads so many books it's stupid. Guess what her favorite book is? Yeah, To Kill a Mockingbird.

mindykany avatar
Min
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 47 and an avid reader. To Kill A Mockingbird is my favorite book. I re-read it every year or so.

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gillandbella avatar
Gillbella
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if he wasn't a nuclear sub maintainer, telling everyone at a party he wasn't educated then laughing was nasty. And cruel.

hargreavesbeth6 avatar
CatLady
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd call her a rhymes-with-witch even if her husband was a janitor. Every useful skill deserves respect. I can enjoy my time at the library in part because somebody vacuums and dusts and mops floors there. I stay healthier because people clean public toilets. Mowed grass makes a public park much nicer. It's safer and easier to walk downtown in winter on shovelled sidewalks and drive plowed roads. I can drive my car because someone changes the oil for me and pumps my gas (smell triggers migraines). I've had several major GI surgeries, and I'm bleeping grateful for the technicians who sterilize the instruments.

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laura_ketteridge avatar
arthbach
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What sort of idiot calls their partner 'uneducated'? And what sort raving lunatic thinks uneducated people are allowed work on nuclear reactors?! Her husband will have had a highly specialised education. He might well not be interested in reading fiction, but I can be he has read many technical manuals.

blacke4dawn avatar
BlackestDawn
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At a minimum he has the same educational level as civilian nuclear engineer, possibly higher due to the military nature and different daily risks that brings that civilians don't deal with. And as you and some others have alluded to, educational level does not correlate to finding reading to be relaxing.

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brittenelson_1 avatar
B.Nelson
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A proper response, "he doesn't have a lot of time to read for fun because his job is difficult and stressful and most of his reading time is spent on those 1000 pages manuals." Also, my mom teaches English and reads so many books it's stupid. Guess what her favorite book is? Yeah, To Kill a Mockingbird.

mindykany avatar
Min
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 47 and an avid reader. To Kill A Mockingbird is my favorite book. I re-read it every year or so.

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