Woman Suspects Husband’s Evening Runs With Divorced Mom Are More Than Just Exercise

In modern relationships, defining cheating is a challenge, as with evolving lifestyles and new types of couples, boundaries have become blurrier than ever. Ultimately, infidelity now exists on a spectrum, and only the partners can decide what’s off-limits together.

This couple probably skipped such a conversation, leaving the wife to recently question whether her husband’s evening runs with a divorced mom from the neighborhood were crossing boundaries. Since she felt uncomfortable about the whole situation, she turned to the internet for advice, wondering if she should be suspicious about the two running buddies.

Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with couples therapist Shan Merchant, who kindly agreed to chat with us more about what counts as infidelity in modern relationships.

Each person tends to understand loyalty in relationships differently

Man and woman running outdoors during the day, smiling and holding water bottles after exercise session.

Image credits: tonodiaz (not the actual photo)

So this woman was unsure if her husband’s female running buddy was something to worry about

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, worried about trust and relationship limits.

Woman questions boundaries after husband starts running with divorced mom as part of his fitness routine.

Text excerpt describing a woman questioning boundaries after husband goes running regularly with a divorced mom nearby.

Man comes home late from running, admits to stopping for smoothies with divorced mom from his running group.

A woman questions boundaries with her husband after he goes running with a divorced mom, showing a tense couple argument.

Image credits: djoronimo (not the actual photo)

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, calling the meet-up just smoothies and innocent.

Text quote about marriage and parenting challenges, illustrating boundaries in relationships and communication.

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running and drinks with recently divorced mom, feeling uncomfortable about the situation.

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, expressing concern and seeking others' opinions.

Image credits: Electrical_Total534

Micro-cheating is less obvious but can be as harmful to relationships as infidelity

In general, infidelity is defined as the act of one partner crossing the other’s boundaries of trust and fidelity. This usually means engaging in emotional or physical relations with someone outside the relationship. It should typically be clear when a partner has crossed boundaries, but if it’s not, relationship experts say that these gray areas may be “micro-cheating.”

“Micro-cheating exists in that uncomfortable gray zone where behaviors aren’t overtly unfaithful, but still create fractures in the foundation of trust,” says Daren Banarsë, a London-based senior psychotherapist. “The danger isn’t just in the individual acts, but in how they represent a gradual erosion of the boundaries that protect your primary relationship.”

Behaviors that would be considered micro-cheating could be virtually anything, from flirting with a stranger at a bar and texting an ex to inappropriate physical contact and an active online dating profile. Overall, “Micro-cheating includes the less overt aspects of cheating that may still be perceived as disrespectful,” said Shainna Ali, PhD, a licensed mental health counselor.

Even though micro-cheating is less obvious, it can be harmful to relationships just the same as clear-cut cheating, as it usually leads to a one-way path to erosion of trust and even infidelity. 

“It can be very dangerous, because when you have one partner feeling threatened and is not feeling that they have a safe relationship or a secure attachment, then they’re going to react in all kinds of ways,” said Wendy Walsh, a relationship expert and psychology professor. “If it continues for a long period of time, it can erode trust, and it can erode the feeling of safety in your primary relationship.”

Couple enjoying smoothies and fruit at an outdoor café, highlighting boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom.

Image credits: Jarritos(not the actual photo)

The key to addressing micro-cheating is communication

Avoiding micro-cheating is possible by having a conversation about boundaries early so the couple is on the same page about what is and isn’t appropriate. 

“As a couple’s therapist, most of the heartbreak I see doesn’t come from ‘the act’ of cheating it comes from people realising too late that they were playing by completely different rules. One person thinks flirting is fun and harmless, the other feels humiliated by it. But because they never talked about it, they only discover that difference after someone’s already hurt,” couples therapist Shan Merchant explains.

“Boundaries aren’t about controlling your partner, they’re about protecting the relationship. When you know what’s okay and what’s not, you both feel safe. And when you feel safe, you’re not policing each other, you can actually relax and enjoy your connection. Don’t assume your partner’s definition of loyalty matches yours. Spell it out, or you’ll only find out the hard way.”

If the couple hadn’t discussed what is appropriate and what isn’t in their relationship, and one of them suspects the other of micro-cheating, the key to addressing it is communication. 

“Lean first into curiosity, not accusation. If something unsettles you, it matters even if it wouldn’t bother someone else. Instead of leaping to asking, ‘Are you cheating?’ try to bring it back to you: ‘When I saw that message, I felt anxious and insecure. What I need is some reassurance,'” suggests Merchant. “Lead from your vulnerability and you’re more likely to get honesty and connection in return.”

Often, micro-cheating is the result of issues or unfulfillment in relationships, like a lack of emotional intimacy, a fear of commitment, boredom, or unaddressed resentment. Having a conversation about boundaries and why they were breached will help to understand how behaviors can be changed moving forward. 

A supportive partner should not dismiss any concerns of their significant other and should make an effort to change if they have ruptured the other’s trust.

If that doesn’t happen, there might be a larger compatibility issue at play. As Banarsë said, “Recovery requires accepting the discomfort of uncertainty while choosing to trust the process of rebuilding.”

Two people sitting on a ledge near skateboards, casually dressed, reflecting on boundaries after running with a divorced mom.

Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez (not the actual photo)

Some commenters were also suspicious about the running buddies, encouraging the woman to meet the mom

Text post discussing setting boundaries and questions arising after husband goes running with a divorced mom, focusing on relationship concerns.

Screenshot of a text discussion about boundaries and trust after husband goes running with divorced mom.

Text post discussing bisexuality, friendships, and questioning boundaries after a husband runs with a divorced mom.

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, discussing trust and relationship concerns.

Comment discussing boundaries and discomfort after husband runs with divorced mom, related to relationship questions.

Comment discussing relationship boundaries and trust issues after husband runs with divorced mom, focusing on friendships and insecurities.

Alt text: Woman questions boundaries after husband runs with divorced mom, discussing friendship and trust issues in relationships.

Others were extremely suspicious of the husband’s evening runs

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, concerned about smoothy outings and closeness.

Text post discussing boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, questioning married men grabbing smoothies.

Reddit user discusses husband going running and getting smoothies with a divorced mom, questioning relationship boundaries.

Comment discussing a woman questioning boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, mentioning smoothies.

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, feeling uncomfortable and concerned about communication.

Comment discussing discomfort and boundaries after a husband goes running with a divorced mom, questioning relationship limits.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing boundaries and feelings after husband goes running with divorced mom.

Comment discussing boundaries and risks after husband goes running with divorced mom, questioning marriage trust issues.

Screenshot of a woman questioning boundaries after her husband goes running with a divorced mom, discussing smoothies.

Text comment discussing boundaries and feelings in friendships after husband goes running with divorced mom, questioning relationships.

Comment expressing concerns about boundaries and trust after husband goes running with a divorced mom, questioning marriage impact.

Alt text: Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, raising concerns about relationships and smoothies.

And some even shared similar stories

Online discussion post about a woman questioning boundaries after her husband goes running with a divorced mom.

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, reflecting on betrayal and marital struggles.

Comment about wife questioning boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom discussing attachment and running together.

Alt text: Man running outdoors with a woman, highlighting boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom.

Screenshot of a social media comment describing how running and friendship can lead to complicated boundaries in relationships.

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, citing trust and friendship concerns.

Woman questions boundaries after husband goes running with divorced mom, raising concerns about emotional affair.

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