Single Dad Refuses To Mend Things With Sister Who Called CPS On Him
Interview With ExpertBecoming a single parent is rarely something you’re prepared for. And when it happens, the biggest challenges can come from the people you least expect.
After losing his wife of ten years, this man was left to raise their daughter on his own. He tried his best, teaching her basic life skills and encouraging independence. But his sister didn’t see it that way. She claimed he was being neglectful and, in a shocking move, reported him to CPS.
Now, he’s refusing to forgive her, even as the rest of the family pressures him to make peace. Read the full story below.
The man was doing his best to raise his daughter after losing his wife
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)
Only for his own sister to report him to CPS for the way he parented
Image credits: TriangleProd / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Wall-mart928
How do you protect yourself when family crosses the line?
Image credits: gpointstudio / freepik (not the actual photo)
Having disagreements with your siblings isn’t exactly unusual.
In fact, a YouGov study found that nearly half of Americans with at least one sibling (46%) experienced rivalry growing up, though many of those tensions tend to fade with time. It’s an experience many of us know all too well.
What is unusual, however, is when a sibling goes so far as to sabotage your relationship with your child, leaving behind real emotional damage. It’s a heartbreaking reality, one that cuts deep and is hard to come back from.
It can also be incredibly draining when a family member believes they have a right to control parts of your life. Setting boundaries in these situations can be tough, not just emotionally, but socially.
There’s often pressure from other relatives to forgive, forget, and “keep the family together,” even if doing so reopens a wound you’re trying to heal.
That’s why Bored Panda reached out to experts Candice Tamara and Dr. Lauren Lawson for insight on navigating these difficult dynamics.
According to Candice Tamara, trauma and mindset coach and host of the F*ck Trauma podcast, one of the first steps is getting clear on what the boundary means to you.
“Family pressure often comes from a place of love—they think reconnection is what’s best. But it can also show up as guilt, minimizing your pain, or discomfort with conflict. The most important thing is to come back to your why: Why did you need this boundary? What does it protect in you?” she says.
Tamara adds that taking space doesn’t have to mean cutting someone off forever: “Sometimes it’s what allows real healing and even stronger relationships down the line. But that decision doesn’t have to be made right now.”
Maintaining those boundaries is easier said than done, especially when others try to undermine them. Dr. Lauren Lawson, a licensed family therapist practicing in Pennsylvania and California and founder of HOPE Counseling Center, suggests regularly revisiting the reasons behind your decision and surrounding yourself with people who respect and support it.
She also recommends preparing a few clear, firm responses you can use when pressured:
- “I understand you want us to reconcile, but this boundary is necessary for my wellbeing right now.”
- “I appreciate your concern, but I need you to respect my decision about this relationship.”
- “This isn’t a decision I made lightly, and I’m not in a position to reconsider it at this time.”
- “I know this is difficult for everyone, but please understand that I need to prioritize my child’s emotional safety.”
In emotionally charged family dynamics, people often feel the need to justify their decisions in long, detailed explanations. But you don’t owe anyone that.
“You don’t need permission to protect your peace,” Tamara emphasizes. “A powerful reminder in moments like this: ‘It’s safe for me to protect my energy, even if others don’t understand.’”
You can care about someone and still keep your distance
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Setting boundaries, however, is just one variable in the journey to recover from a toxic family member. Another is learning how to close and heal the emotional wound that came with it.
“The loss of a sibling relationship—especially through betrayal or unresolved conflict—is a layered grief,” Tamara explains. “You’re not just mourning the person, but the bond, the shared past, and the future you hoped for. And sometimes the hardest part is that you can still love them—and still know that taking space is the healthiest thing for you.”
She encourages people to make room for those conflicting truths: “This hurt me. I still care. And I’m allowed to choose myself. Love and boundaries can coexist. Distance doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you care about your safety, peace, and healing too.”
Dr. Lawson agrees, noting that healing involves acknowledging all your emotions, including grief, anger, guilt, relief, and that redirecting energy into relationships that are safe and supportive can be incredibly helpful during this time.
Tamara also suggests a more personal approach: writing an unsent letter to the sibling or relative who hurt you. “[It] can be a powerful way to process what remains unspoken—what hurt, what you longed for, and what you’re now choosing to release,” she says.
And of course, don’t hesitate to work through your feelings with a therapist if needed, says Dr. Lawson. There’s nothing wrong with asking for professional support.
Even if part of you someday wants to reconnect with that family member, both experts agree that healing doesn’t have to include reconciliation. It’s completely valid to move forward without ever rebuilding the relationship.
“It simply means releasing the fantasy of who you hoped they would be—and grieving that version, too,” Tamara says. “It means accepting the relationship for what it is, not what you wished it was, and giving yourself permission to move forward on your terms.”
Dr. Lawson adds that single parents in particular are often judged more harshly, even when they’re doing their best.
“Single parents often face unique scrutiny and judgment,” she says. “Teaching children age-appropriate life skills isn’t parentification, it’s preparing them for independence and can create valuable bonding opportunities.”
“‘Forgiveness’ and ‘reconnection’ are separate processes,” Lawson reminds. “The father may eventually reach a place of forgiveness for his own peace, but that doesn’t mean he needs to reestablish a relationship that proved harmful to his family.”
The man followed up in the comments to clear up some details
Readers agreed he had every right to respond the way he did
Poll Question
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By the time I was 8, I had a step stool so I could wash dishes, knew how to cook pasta, and was responsible for taking care of my things... OP is better off without that sibling. People always want the aggrieved to suffer a******s instead of holding a******s accountable.
I bought my then 6 year old washing up gloves. He tidies his room, he pours his own drink. He washes and moisturises himself... as parents it's our job to teach our children to be self sufficient adults. As a Mother of a boy I refuse to bring him up believing women do all the work (husband fully agrees with this). I agree, the sibling is a tw@t who should mind her own business.
Load More Replies...Going NC is smart. I don't know if I would be able to stop myself from stomping my sister's a*s over something like that. Of course, none of my sisters would ever have that cross their mind. Very well could have ended with daughter in foster home.
I'm betting that in the case of the daughter possibility being removed, the sister would "volunteer" to step up and take the girl in. That may have been her motivation from the jump.
Load More Replies...OP needs to change the lock on the door and limit the number of them floating around, and security cameras around the house. Never leave your daughter alone with her aunt or the grands, kidnapping is a possibility here.The poster who mentioned that the daughter might trap the kid into lying about you s*xually her is dead on. Bless your sister's heart..
This is for those of you that don't know what "bless your sister's heart" means in this scenario: it means quite the opposite..
Load More Replies...Never give a person that has wronged you, another chance to do it again.
Wow. My sister and I actually love each other and want the best for each other. We're always there for each other, especially when things get tough. Sibling issues are always a parenting problem.
She's definitely old enough to do those things and more. I wonder if he can preds charges against his sister for filing a false report with CPS. Stay away from the family especially her!
I was doing everything mentioned by the time I started school (age 6). Making my own bed, getting my own breakfast, managing my own dressing and personal hygiene, walking myself to school, etc. These things are not punishments. These are life skills that EVERY child should know as soon as they are capable of learning them. My kids were folding the clean laundry tea towels and washcloths when they were two. It makes them feel great to be able to help.
I thought this had the smell of golden child syndrome (wrt the evil sister). I see the OP confirmed it in one of his answers. Lay it all clearly out with everyone else in the family - she has tried legal kidnapping, so she will never see his daughter. Anyone not onside is to be feared as a possible ally in this plot. Use the in-laws for support - I'm sure they still want a relationship with all that remains of their daughter / sister etc. That will help with the legals if this carries on (courts like families with extended family support). And who wouldn't be on the sister trying again?
Your sister needs help. She had two miscarriages and is now trying to take your daughter. She needs a therapist or something stronger. Tell your parents. Get her help and you can still remain no contact.
That sister would 100% be no contact and I would tell my family you violate my boundaty one time over this, strike one and it's no contact for you and you won't see my daughter. Tell them you will 100% absolutely not tolerate disrespect
Of course OP's dad wants OP to forgive sis - he's tired of listening to her b***h + whine about not seeing OP's daughter!
Your sister miscarried twice and now she is trying to take your kid. She needs a therapist.... Or something stronger. He behavior is not normal nor healthy. Get her some help!
Your sister stupidly could cost you more than just a visit. Forgive your sister but don't let she is around you anymore because she is not a trustworthy person. If this Christmas or the coming ones are not completely is not your fault.
Given how OPs sis is catered too im not shocked she things OPs kiddo doimg stuff for herself is "wrong" Given she ALSO clearly wants the kid for herself she likely wamts to raise her to be spoiled rotten too. OPs sis needs help especially if shes "renaming" other ppl kids....
Im sorry for your loss. My family is like your sister. When my mom would do or say things i was the one made to apologize. Even when I hadn't done anything. Always told that i need to make peace even when my mom died and my brother jumped down my throat for dropping a pen on the table. Everybody told me to apologize but when I said to tell me what I did wrong nobody could answer. That is what your family is doing. Your sister was wrong but they don't want to accept it. Stay away from them. Because I guarantee it will happen again. Make sure your sister has no access to your daughter (ie pick up from a abaysitter or such) because she will take your daughter and then make up a lie. Theres nothing wrong with your daughter learning responsibilities young. I started cooking when I was six. Full meals for my family by 12. She also needs to learn to take care of her needs too. Like combing her hair and such. Age appropriate chores will help her when she is a grown woman and moves out.
His parents want to confront him about being a civil adult, why not confront her and tell her to be one and grow up. If she has concerns she should have just brought them up and talked them out. He's better off not talking to her, if she wants to see her grandparents and other aunts and uncles he shouldn't hold her back but explain to her why he's not to soso aunt. She seems mature enough to hopefully understand especially if she's picking up on chores.
That female isn't your family. Watch your back around her. She betrayed you once, she'll do it again! How did your wife die? Because giving your daughter a new name, calling cps on you - she wants to get rid of you too so she can take over your child. She needs a psychiatrist ASAP! Stay away from her. Make sure to keep your daughter far away from her. The entire family if need be! Thank God you still have your in-laws.
The dad does NOT have a permanent record with cps. If it's a "unfounded" report it vanishes in 2 years. If it's "unsubstantiated " and there are no other reports, it vanishes in 2 years. If it is "substantiated " then it vanishes when the youngest child involved is 24. And, ya, NC with the sister, forever.
Whenever I read about toxic siblings I just get more grateful my sisters aren't like that.
OP, just pour kerosene on all bridges with your family, light the match and flick it at the bridges with a straight face. Pretty sure his scumbucket excuse of a sister has bad designs on his daughter and his equally scumbucket family are nothing more than enablers. Hopefully OP never so much as looks in their direction again and if possible, seeks legal assistance in ensuring the miscreant coalition never get to be anywhere within 10ft of his daughter again!!! Wonder if there are reprecussions for faking a CPS call? OP's scumbucket excuse of a sister definitely deserves to see some legal reprecussion for defamation of parental character. SMH!!!
Your sister is in dire need of professional help based on facts given of behavior. I too think you need legal advice. Your daughter doesn't need the additional stress caused by auntie 's BS
I for one think that homeschooling is a legit reason to call CPS. Children need other children, and they need an education.
You do not know what you are talking about! Every child is different and you don't know what their circumstances are for having other children to socialize with. My son home schooled and had plenty of friends. Plus he graduated with a 4.0 grade average and was offered scholarships.
Load More Replies...We had a situation on our street with a sweet small 4-5 year old girl. The Neighbors had soooo many conversations on the approach - He got arrested and that is a Great story, I was there. Now, if this was a Family issue - the Troups would be so rallied, your head would be spinning We were understanding contributing to the family when I was 5 - Please take the forks to the table sweetie and off I would skip! Thank GOD for my awesome Parents!!!
so because you are incapable that means everyone is?
Load More Replies...By the time I was 8, I had a step stool so I could wash dishes, knew how to cook pasta, and was responsible for taking care of my things... OP is better off without that sibling. People always want the aggrieved to suffer a******s instead of holding a******s accountable.
I bought my then 6 year old washing up gloves. He tidies his room, he pours his own drink. He washes and moisturises himself... as parents it's our job to teach our children to be self sufficient adults. As a Mother of a boy I refuse to bring him up believing women do all the work (husband fully agrees with this). I agree, the sibling is a tw@t who should mind her own business.
Load More Replies...Going NC is smart. I don't know if I would be able to stop myself from stomping my sister's a*s over something like that. Of course, none of my sisters would ever have that cross their mind. Very well could have ended with daughter in foster home.
I'm betting that in the case of the daughter possibility being removed, the sister would "volunteer" to step up and take the girl in. That may have been her motivation from the jump.
Load More Replies...OP needs to change the lock on the door and limit the number of them floating around, and security cameras around the house. Never leave your daughter alone with her aunt or the grands, kidnapping is a possibility here.The poster who mentioned that the daughter might trap the kid into lying about you s*xually her is dead on. Bless your sister's heart..
This is for those of you that don't know what "bless your sister's heart" means in this scenario: it means quite the opposite..
Load More Replies...Never give a person that has wronged you, another chance to do it again.
Wow. My sister and I actually love each other and want the best for each other. We're always there for each other, especially when things get tough. Sibling issues are always a parenting problem.
She's definitely old enough to do those things and more. I wonder if he can preds charges against his sister for filing a false report with CPS. Stay away from the family especially her!
I was doing everything mentioned by the time I started school (age 6). Making my own bed, getting my own breakfast, managing my own dressing and personal hygiene, walking myself to school, etc. These things are not punishments. These are life skills that EVERY child should know as soon as they are capable of learning them. My kids were folding the clean laundry tea towels and washcloths when they were two. It makes them feel great to be able to help.
I thought this had the smell of golden child syndrome (wrt the evil sister). I see the OP confirmed it in one of his answers. Lay it all clearly out with everyone else in the family - she has tried legal kidnapping, so she will never see his daughter. Anyone not onside is to be feared as a possible ally in this plot. Use the in-laws for support - I'm sure they still want a relationship with all that remains of their daughter / sister etc. That will help with the legals if this carries on (courts like families with extended family support). And who wouldn't be on the sister trying again?
Your sister needs help. She had two miscarriages and is now trying to take your daughter. She needs a therapist or something stronger. Tell your parents. Get her help and you can still remain no contact.
That sister would 100% be no contact and I would tell my family you violate my boundaty one time over this, strike one and it's no contact for you and you won't see my daughter. Tell them you will 100% absolutely not tolerate disrespect
Of course OP's dad wants OP to forgive sis - he's tired of listening to her b***h + whine about not seeing OP's daughter!
Your sister miscarried twice and now she is trying to take your kid. She needs a therapist.... Or something stronger. He behavior is not normal nor healthy. Get her some help!
Your sister stupidly could cost you more than just a visit. Forgive your sister but don't let she is around you anymore because she is not a trustworthy person. If this Christmas or the coming ones are not completely is not your fault.
Given how OPs sis is catered too im not shocked she things OPs kiddo doimg stuff for herself is "wrong" Given she ALSO clearly wants the kid for herself she likely wamts to raise her to be spoiled rotten too. OPs sis needs help especially if shes "renaming" other ppl kids....
Im sorry for your loss. My family is like your sister. When my mom would do or say things i was the one made to apologize. Even when I hadn't done anything. Always told that i need to make peace even when my mom died and my brother jumped down my throat for dropping a pen on the table. Everybody told me to apologize but when I said to tell me what I did wrong nobody could answer. That is what your family is doing. Your sister was wrong but they don't want to accept it. Stay away from them. Because I guarantee it will happen again. Make sure your sister has no access to your daughter (ie pick up from a abaysitter or such) because she will take your daughter and then make up a lie. Theres nothing wrong with your daughter learning responsibilities young. I started cooking when I was six. Full meals for my family by 12. She also needs to learn to take care of her needs too. Like combing her hair and such. Age appropriate chores will help her when she is a grown woman and moves out.
His parents want to confront him about being a civil adult, why not confront her and tell her to be one and grow up. If she has concerns she should have just brought them up and talked them out. He's better off not talking to her, if she wants to see her grandparents and other aunts and uncles he shouldn't hold her back but explain to her why he's not to soso aunt. She seems mature enough to hopefully understand especially if she's picking up on chores.
That female isn't your family. Watch your back around her. She betrayed you once, she'll do it again! How did your wife die? Because giving your daughter a new name, calling cps on you - she wants to get rid of you too so she can take over your child. She needs a psychiatrist ASAP! Stay away from her. Make sure to keep your daughter far away from her. The entire family if need be! Thank God you still have your in-laws.
The dad does NOT have a permanent record with cps. If it's a "unfounded" report it vanishes in 2 years. If it's "unsubstantiated " and there are no other reports, it vanishes in 2 years. If it is "substantiated " then it vanishes when the youngest child involved is 24. And, ya, NC with the sister, forever.
Whenever I read about toxic siblings I just get more grateful my sisters aren't like that.
OP, just pour kerosene on all bridges with your family, light the match and flick it at the bridges with a straight face. Pretty sure his scumbucket excuse of a sister has bad designs on his daughter and his equally scumbucket family are nothing more than enablers. Hopefully OP never so much as looks in their direction again and if possible, seeks legal assistance in ensuring the miscreant coalition never get to be anywhere within 10ft of his daughter again!!! Wonder if there are reprecussions for faking a CPS call? OP's scumbucket excuse of a sister definitely deserves to see some legal reprecussion for defamation of parental character. SMH!!!
Your sister is in dire need of professional help based on facts given of behavior. I too think you need legal advice. Your daughter doesn't need the additional stress caused by auntie 's BS
I for one think that homeschooling is a legit reason to call CPS. Children need other children, and they need an education.
You do not know what you are talking about! Every child is different and you don't know what their circumstances are for having other children to socialize with. My son home schooled and had plenty of friends. Plus he graduated with a 4.0 grade average and was offered scholarships.
Load More Replies...We had a situation on our street with a sweet small 4-5 year old girl. The Neighbors had soooo many conversations on the approach - He got arrested and that is a Great story, I was there. Now, if this was a Family issue - the Troups would be so rallied, your head would be spinning We were understanding contributing to the family when I was 5 - Please take the forks to the table sweetie and off I would skip! Thank GOD for my awesome Parents!!!
so because you are incapable that means everyone is?
Load More Replies...


















































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