68 Awkward Family Photos That Might Make Yours Look Relatively Normal

Even the professionals know the struggle. Family photographer Robyn Oosthuysen told Bored Panda that the most common challenge during a shoot is “an uncooperative child or father.” Kids in particular can feel pressured, especially if they’ve been bribed with treats to behave. Her solution is to treat the shoot as family fun time, letting kids play, climb and run. “If the parents, especially dad, are excited, then the kids will be excited.”

Robyn is a fan of both posed and candid shots, and finds that one often leads to the other. Once everyone is lined up and looking at the camera, she’ll tease someone, and the whole group collapses into giggles, creating “a bit of candid chaos.” Posed photos only get stiff and awkward, she says, when someone is too uncomfortable to be directed and plasters on a practiced smile. Even then, “sometimes cringe is in itself a kind of charm.” If great-grandpa won’t be swayed, everyone simply works around him. “Each family is unique in their own brand of charm.”

Today, a photographer can check the screen and simply try again. But back in the day, Robyn points out, many families had to rely on a studio visit every few years or a disposable camera passed around the family. “You got what you got and couldn’t check, but hoped for the best,” she says. “Sometimes these were actually epic!” Robyn’s own mom had her and her siblings photographed every year, which meant being dragged inside, scrubbed till they shone and stuck in dresses they hated, “then threatened with our lives until we forced a good smile!” They hated every minute, she admits, “but I am now very grateful she did that.”

Of course, taking and keeping photos is only part of the equation. They also need to be looked at. In Robyn’s experience, nine out of ten people now shoot on their phones, so “we don’t print enough now to enjoy on a wall or for an album.” That’s a shame, because even a quick look at a loved one’s photo can do more than you’d think. In a 2009 UCLA study, women exposed to uncomfortable heat on their forearms reported less pain while looking at a photo of their partner, an effect about as strong as holding their hand.

The photo doesn’t even have to be a flattering one. I was reminded of this while watching Season 3 of Alone Australia, where contestants survive in Tasmania’s rugged wilderness with only a handful of personal items. Survivalist, wilderness guide, and expedition leader Karla had brought along a photo of her sister, but not a sweet snapshot of the two of them together. It was a close-up of her sister pulling a hilariously unflattering face. Alone in the middle of nowhere, Karla looked at it and burst into uncontrollable laughter. It seemed to bring her more joy than any polished portrait could have.

It’s something Robyn wishes more people would remember before hitting delete. “It’s in the choosing and accepting of normal human faces and interactions where the joy hides,” she says. “Who actually cares if your tummy sticks out a bit or your chin’s squashed when you’re laughing your head off with your bestie?” That’s why she keeps every shot from her sessions. “I want my clients to find the beauty I see in the less-than-perfect ones.”

After all, as she puts it, “Photos are all we have left once everything else is gone.” So it might be worth printing the imperfect ones too. They may not be the polished portraits anyone planned, but they’re the ones that spark stories, laughs, and “remember when” moments for years to come. If anything, the awkward ones might just be the ones doing the most work.

If you’re planning a family shoot of your own, Robyn has a few parting tips. Don’t be too quick to reschedule over less-than-ideal weather, since “mist or a strong breeze can make for the most gorgeous pics.” She’d also love to see more dads book a dinner after the shoot, since everyone is already dressed up, with their hair and makeup done. “Take the family out afterwards and extend the fun OR book a babysitter and take your lovely wife out on a date! She deserves that.” And above all, “Let the kids be kids! With all the poetic and beautiful chaos that sometimes comes with that.”