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Socially Anxious Lady Ditches Her Own B-Day As Roomie Invites 50 People And Calls Her Ungrateful
An anxious birthday girl wearing a party hat looks sad sitting alone by a cupcake with a lit candle indoors.

Socially Anxious Lady Ditches Her Own B-Day As Roomie Invites 50 People And Calls Her Ungrateful

It is strange how some people can be completely dismissive of someone else’s mental health conditions. However, imagine someone who is well-aware of your condition, yet disregards it so much that they make fake promises. Feels quite hurtful, especially on a special day, doesn’t it?

The original poster (OP) experienced something similar, as her roommate—who is well aware of her social anxiety—promised her a small birthday party. Yet, when the day came, about 50 people showed up, completely baffling the poster, so she just ditched the event!

More info: Reddit

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    While people speak out about mental health, some folks still choose to disregard it

    Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster’s roommate (Sara) wanted to throw her a small birthday party, and she agreed, as she has social anxiety and wanted an intimate event

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    Image credits: ThrowRAroomatebday

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    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    However, on the day of the party, about 50 people showed up, and the poster didn’t even know some of them, which totally baffled her

    Image credits: ThrowRAroomatebday

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    Image credits: G23 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Sara shrugged off the poster’s discomfort by claiming that it was her birthday, and she wanted to make it “special”

    Image credits: ThrowRAroomatebday

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    The poster just couldn’t take it, so she left and calmed down in a coffee shop, but this upset Sara, who accused her of being ungrateful

    Today, we dive into the world of Reddit user ThrowRAroomatebday, who is stuck in a conflict with her friend/roommate (Sara). It all started when Sara said that she wanted to throw a small birthday party for our poster, and she readily agreed, as she has social anxiety and wanted something small and intimate with very few people. 

    Since Sara had promised that it would be a “small” event, OP didn’t really think much about it, until her birthday came and things just slipped out of hand. The thing is, about 50 people showed up for the party, and although there were a few mutual friends, there were other people that the poster didn’t even know, with a DJ and a lot of food and drinks!

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    It’s obvious that this shocked the poster as she was least expecting this, so she confronted Sara about the “small” party that she was supposed to throw. Well, she shrugged it off and mentioned that she wanted to do something “special” for her. Poor OP tried hard to get comfortable, but it got too much for her to a point that she had to ditch the party and go to a coffee shop to calm down.

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    Noting her absence, Sara texted her, and OP informed her how uncomfortable she felt. This upset Sara, who accused the poster of acting ungrateful for everything that she has done for her, and a few friends also agreed. Well, the poster is feeling bad about it, but she also thinks that Sara completely ignored what she wanted, which, we agree, is absolutely true.

    Image credits: grustock / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Cleveland Clinic states that approximately 5%-10% of people across the world have social anxiety, and it’s the third most common mental health condition. However, it’s quite surprising to think that people don’t take it seriously enough, and it looks like Sara might be one such person who dismisses it. Otherwise, she would’ve considered how OP might feel with her so-called party to make her feel special.

    It has been observed that there is a common misconception that anxiety and other mental disorders are something that people can just get through on their own if they try hard enough. It’s important to note that it’s actually something serious, and people like Sara should be made aware of the severity of it, or they can completely ruin things for the person who has it. 

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    Research suggests, “A person with social anxiety feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in situations where they may be scrutinized, evaluated, or judged by others. Doing everyday things, such as eating or drinking in front of others, may cause anxiety or fear due to concerns about being humiliated, judged, and rejected. This fear of social situations is so intense that they feel it is beyond their control.”

    Many folks pointed out that if Sara had tried to understand what social anxiety really was, she would have realized how it could be damaging for OP. They also highlighted that the party seemed more for Sara than for the poster, and she did nothing wrong by leaving. Some also expressed their concern that her special day was ruined due to her roommate, and that she deserved an apology from Sara.

    Do you agree with the Redditors? Also, if you were in the poster’s shoes, what would you have done? Let us know in the comments below!

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    Netizens instantly sided with the poster and said that Sara basically threw a party for herself by disregarding her social anxiety

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    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

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    Rutuja Dumbre

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    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

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    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone did something similar for me at work. I walked out too. Never force people to join in something just because *you* would enjoy it. Treat people how they want to be treated - the "do unto others" mantra doesn't apply any more.

    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never understood how supposed "friends" refuse to believe those of us who hate big attention-grab events - birthdays, promotions, even retirement (ugh, I dread that!) I had a similar experience at work many years ago. I told my boss specifically to remove my name from the "birthday list" and that I did not want any attention on my birthday (I even gave her an abridged explanation involving past drama). Luckily I generally arrive at the office earlier than most people, so when I saw the cake and balloons and glitter all over my desk, I turned around and went home and called in sick. I just wish I had been confident and knowledgeable enough back then to also make an HR report. Since that day I have always scheduled a vacation day if my birthday falls during the work week.

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    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone did something similar for me at work. I walked out too. Never force people to join in something just because *you* would enjoy it. Treat people how they want to be treated - the "do unto others" mantra doesn't apply any more.

    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never understood how supposed "friends" refuse to believe those of us who hate big attention-grab events - birthdays, promotions, even retirement (ugh, I dread that!) I had a similar experience at work many years ago. I told my boss specifically to remove my name from the "birthday list" and that I did not want any attention on my birthday (I even gave her an abridged explanation involving past drama). Luckily I generally arrive at the office earlier than most people, so when I saw the cake and balloons and glitter all over my desk, I turned around and went home and called in sick. I just wish I had been confident and knowledgeable enough back then to also make an HR report. Since that day I have always scheduled a vacation day if my birthday falls during the work week.

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