New Homeowner Has To Deal With Police Because Neighbor Karen Thought She Was ‘Too Young’ To Own Property
Buying a house brings a certain sense of achievement as you finally have a corner on this Earth that belongs only to you. For a lot of people, it marks the moment when they ‘made it’ in life and it’s a place where they can feel safe and totally free.
The thing that can cloud the happiness of owning a house is the neighbors. The experience of living in your own house is much more pleasant if the people who live nearby are friendly and greets you with a smile when you meet them down the road. But if you don’t get along with them, all of the great feelings of owning a home may become less rewarding.
Like for this 20-year-old woman who started to settle in her new home when a neighbor called the police on her because the old lady thought the young woman couldn’t possibly be the owner of the house as she was not of the age when people usually are.
More info: Reddit
A 20 Y.O. woman bought a house, but her neighbor thought she was too young to be the owner, so she called the police, accusing her of being a squatter
Image credits: pxfuel (not the actual photo)
The story takes place in a small town with about 500 people in southern Illinois. A woman of 20 years old who chose to call herself Most_While_8500 on Reddit managed to buy herself a house for $15k and she says that it was in quite good condition for being so inexpensive.
The previous owner was no longer alive for quite some time and the house was for sale. The Original Poster (OP) said in one of the comments that she wanted to rent at first, but it was difficult finding anything online because people preferred putting signs up in their yards. When she saw a good deal, she took it.
Image credits: Most_While_8500
The house was being sold for $15k and was in decent condition, so the OP bought it
Image credits: Most_While_8500
The OP moved in a couple of months ago and started working on making the place her own and started fixing what needed to be fixed. She was planning on tidying up the garden when her next door neighbor, a woman she called Jane for the sake of story and was about 50-ish years old, came to get to know her.
Jane mistook the young woman for a tenant and Most_While_8500 explained that she is actually the owner of the house. Not having any reason for it, Jane didn’t believe her, but went home without causing any incident that time.
Image credits: Most_While_8500
She was cleaning up and trying to make the house her home
Image credits: Most_While_8500
The OP continued sprucing up the old house and decided to paint the front door—a seemingly innocent task that provoked Jane to lash out at the OP, saying that she’d better have the owner’s permission to paint his house because as mentioned earlier, she didn’t believe it was the redditor’s house, which she repeated again.
Turns out, Jane didn’t believe that it was the OP’s house because she was too young and she would be contacting the landlord about her misconduct. In one of the comments, Most_While_8500 mentioned that she didn’t think to inform the neighbor that the old owner was dead, because at the time, she was just getting angry and anxious and wanted Jane to go away and leave her in peace.
Apparently, the fact that she was tidying up really hit a nerve for her neighbor as she thought the OP was fixing the house without the owner’s permission
Image credits: Most_While_8500
The neighbor didn’t believe the OP was the owner as she was ‘too young’ to own a house so she called the police
Image credits: Most_While_8500
The neighbor was so convinced that a young woman couldn’t possibly be a homeowner, she wanted to see proof of ownership, but the OP wasn’t willing to show Jane anything.
The situation escalated and the older neighbor called the police, reporting that there was a person living in a house illegally. When the police showed up, the young woman cooperated, she showed the paperwork and wanted Jane off her property.
Image credits: Most_While_8500
The OP’s dad thinks she could have handled the situation better but she thinks that she didn’t do anything wrong
Image credits: Most_While_8500
What urged the OP to go to the internet and ask for people’s opinions was that when she told her dad about the incident, he thought she shouldn’t have made her neighbor angry.
What is your take on this situation? Do you think that all this commotion would have been avoided if the redditor had shown the documents to Jane? Or would you side with one of the commenters who thought that Jane would have claimed that the documents were fake? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
People in the comments are siding with the young woman and think that it was not the neighbor’s place to be so nosy
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Share on FacebookIn parts of the US, a house in need of work can be da*n cheap, especially at tax auction. Seen people nab one for $500. Crazy but some of the houses are in good shape, too.
Load More Replies...If the neighbor is that nosy, why didn't she know the previous owner had died?
She likely didn't care about the old neighbor because he was just an old man and not a good source of gossip for someone who is clearly a nosy busybody.
Load More Replies...I wish I had known when I bought my house that it was next to a busy body. 2 days into owning my house I got a notice about "poison oak" growing from my yard into someone else's. At the time I only had a peach tree and nothing else. I have no idea where this complaint came from. Then I got a notice about my back fence being broken, which I was aware of. I was already planning on fixing because I have a dog but I had just moved in and didn't have the time yet to do. The fence is fixed now and my neighbor now complains about my trash cans being left at the road after waste management comes. Even if it's only been half and hour since they emptied them.
I had a Karen neighbor who was always complaining about something. She left her pack of obnoxious little dogs in the yard all day and would complain about our "vicious" dog (a very calm pit mix who never hurt a fly!,) and she called animal control who laughed after meeting our dog. Then she called code enforcement all the time. They never found a problem except once when our garbage cans were 2" over the property line (it was a side of the yard nobody used,) but we moved them and put up a wooden strip to mark the spot. She called code enforcement to measure to make sure it was properly placed...it was. Code enforcement told us that they told her not to call unless it was a truly major problem, otherwise they would stop coming. Fortunately she got foreclosed on about a year later. It was so peaceful after that.
Load More Replies...Old people: Young people these days never buy houses anymore they're destroying the economy blah blah blah!! Young person: *Buys a house. Karen: I think the f**k not!
I am from Southern Illinois. I know it's a generalization but the people there are miserable. I can bet anyone a million dollars that if she had showed the neighbors the paperwork it would not end and it will not end. Unemployment and drug abuse are rampant there. Many people are just looking for an "enemy" or anyone to start an argument with. Small towns are the worst. They were never "leave it to beaver" world! I left and will never go back!
Yep, same in small town Utah. I've got a miserable misogynist on two sides of the property I recently bought. And since I'm a woman they really think they have the right to harass me. After months of politely trying to get him to stop, I finally told the one to stop harassing me every time I'm outside so now he's on a rampage trying to get others to hate me. So fun. I just put up privacy fencing and it's helping a little, but those types of people WANT someone to torture.
Load More Replies...If someone is that determined to make trouble, then there's not all that much you can really do about it. If it wasn't "you're squatting!" it probably would have been "you're filling your garbage bins incorrectly!" or "your front door is the wrong colour!"
yeah there is stuff you can do. subtle stuff that will make her suffer. You just have to get creative.
Load More Replies...Years ago I had a neighbor who called me white trash because I was -renting- the house next to hers. My rent was $2800. I asked her if she wanted to show each other our tax returns.
Yep. Say to the neighbour, ok, so which of us do you think will win in a protracted and expensive harassment lawsuit? who is going to run out of money first? That makes them back off. Generally these karens are old people in retirement with no spare capital, it all goes to buying Depends and headache pills. They don't have money for a lawsuit.
Load More Replies...Karen's love to waste the police's time! I swear they all have the police on speed dial at all times it's so pathetic.
She should have been charged for calling the police for something like that.
Load More Replies...Where on earth do you find a house for under 100k??
Load More Replies...The neighbour had absolutely no right to demand personal documents. You have to start out by setting boundaries, too.
100%. She's not the cops. And the cops should not respond to something like that. If you *are* squatting, it's the job of the *owner* to report you.
Load More Replies...I can't get over buying a house for $15K. Where I live, $15K will buy you a used car, if you are lucky but not one you can sleep in). As for the neighbor, I would make it my mission in life to make her miserable. I'd wear fake gold chains, rent a McLaren and park it in the driveway and have friends deliver zip lock bags of laundry detergent to my doorstep so she can call the police for drug dealing and make a fool of herself over and over. The possibilities for trolling her are endless.
I bought a brand new car, a Skoda for under 14k. It has air conditioning but nothing else.
Load More Replies...Everyone's life would be so much easier if everyone minded their own business. Yes that includes self-proclaimed mask police/mask vigilantes. Just mind ya business and walk away.
Not really. The mask thing is serious. I personally know ten people who have died of covid. All of them wealthy. Could easily afford and did afford private care. Dead within a week.
Load More Replies...NTA. She's a busy body and you don't owe her a thing, even to show her your deed of ownership. Your dad's attitude is wrong, you shouldn't be expected to drag out your paperwork for every idiot who wants to cause you trouble, you're within your legal right to refuse. Also, i wouldn't have shown her the paperwork and given in to her demands, as that sets the precedent for any future time she feels entitled to make demands on you. You did the right thing. Now, go ask her to prove she also owns the home next door. Tit for tat, Karen.
Karis Ravenhill You summed this situation up with one word: ENTITLED. A feeling of entitlement causes some folks to think they have the right to make demands on others’ right to live their lives. Sometimes it’s ageism, racism or sexism. In this case, it’s an “a**hole-ism”/ageism combination.
Load More Replies...NTA - people like that will have a problem with you no matter how nice you are.
Exactly. We got a bile of faeces from a karen neighbour the same day we moved in. We were in a state of war for about 6 years till covid bankrupted her and taught her some humility.
Load More Replies...Y'all who are saying it would be more peaceful if she just coddled this woman crack me up. This young woman is under ZERO obligation to show a neighbor any of her homeowner papers PERIOD. To the officers? Yes. To the neighbor? No. They still publish home sales in the dang newspaper. If she doesn't go online she can look there. Do y'all honestly think that even if this young woman had shown her the proof that she would have a) believed it and b) left her alone? No she wouldn't in either case.
This story brings back memories from when I bought my apartment: a 22 yo black woman apparently couldn't afford that according to some of my neighbors. So apart from all the gossiping they opened my bank statements, stole my newspapers, magazines and cds from my mailbox etc. After a couple of years I and another young neighbor took over the HOA (loads of suspicion, but no one else wanted to do it). Oh well almost 30 years later I am still the president of the HOA and the most obnoxious neighbor who also still lives here turns to me with every single problem or issue she has and she regularly invites my for coffee :-)
First of all, I really hope your dad saying you were an @$$hole was simply an expression for the post. The lady was the @$$hole for @$$uming things. It was none of her business if you were painting the door even if you were simply renting. No right to ask for proof. Call the cops? Nuisance call as far as I'm concerned. Making friends with your neighbors works both ways. Someday she might need the help of that young lady.
My husband bought a house at 20 with his 18 year old brother. My 1st house was with him at 48. I had 2 crazy neighbors in the same building once, both of whom seemed obsessed with me for different reasons. One was a dude who was a terrible alcoholic who fixated on me and decided he was in love, the other a lonely housewife who was jealous and tried to cause trouble for me at work and with friends. She wanted me to be her only friend but I already had friends and just wanted to be a polite neighbor who might have the occasional coffee together. She made up weird stories about me that sounded almost plausible that painted me in a bad light. She'd cry and bang on my walls, begging me to come over so we could be friends again. I had to go to a lawyer and I ended up moving out.
This is my take on this situation. The neighbor was determined to start conflict with someone because that's what some people do. Even if the OP had shown her the deed, she would have claimed it was fake and called the police anyway. No one has the right to shout at someone on their own property. If she were truly determined to know if the girl was squatting, she could have gone to city hall and looked the girl up in the records. We are living in a world where too many people want to be in other people's business and this is why neighbors can't get along. People should not have to appease other people's states of mind just to live in a neighborhood. Being too young to own a house is absolute nonsense and calling the police because you are upset about something is also nonsense. I am so glad that I live in a neighborhood where we actually care about each other and are not trying to be antagonistic.
The dad didn’t call her an asshole; he said that if she has to live next to this woman long-term, maybe another way of handling the situation would have been better. I don’t necessarily agree, but no one was saying that that woman was in the right.
Never bow to a bully. Whatever you think, they think it's permission. That's why they're bullies.
Load More Replies...A friend's younger brother used to help an old lady with her three flat building while he was in high school. He'd clean, cut grass, and run errands. It turned out that she willed her property to the boy. He was a property owner of three apartments at the age of 19.
Since when is it weird to have a house warming party for renting? I had one when I moved into my current apartment. It's about having a new home and wanting to share your happiness with friends.
NTA. But man, am I torn - I don't know if it would be worth it - even for a $15 k home (huh?), to live in such a small town. I am so used to living anonymously in a big city. Unless I were doing human sacrifices on my front lawn at noon, (well, even then) I doubt anyone would blink.
I can't imagine getting a house for $15,000! That's amazing. But I'm betting that no matter what you did/said, that woman is the kind of person who likes to make trouble. She kept sticking her nose in your business and making uninvited comments before she got to the drama bit. Guarantee that no matter what you did or didn't do, she was going to be a pain.
Wow. The neighbor could have inquired more. She could have been more honest: I have trouble believing that, I worry that you’re going to get into trouble, I would not want to stand aside and watch while you’ may be making a big mistake, etc etc etc - to such earnest worry, the house owner might have responded with more openness. It’s not wrong to be an alert neighbor. It’s communication skills that determines whether you come across as Nosy Parker or not.
You should have just shown her your papers with a huge grin while watching her face sliding. Sometimes its just better to treat people like that from the beginning and having your peace from then on than police and more problems showing up later on. 🤷♀️
Actually I'd counter-accuse her of squatting and ask her to provide proof of ownership.
Load More Replies...Honestly, if you plan to live somewhere a while it makes more sense to put your self-righteousness on the back burner and go along with the neighbours a little bit. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but keeping friendly could have important ramifications down the line, if you were away and something happened to your property (for example). Yes, the woman was being rude, no argument, but for the sake of going along with her disbelief, showing her your papers, and saying 'I know, it's crazy, I'm so lucky, aren't I?' you could have had someone on your side who would stick their nose in on your behalf if someone was, for example, sizing up your property for a future burglary. Dad's life time of experience was showing when he told his daughter not to be an a.rse.
I truly and honestly don't think showing the neighbor her papers would have made a difference. Someone that nosy and demanding about something that is simply not their business isn't suddenly going to turn around and be a gumdrop. Imho, this woman is off her rocker and has serious boundary issues. I think she would likely take advantage of the fact that OP caved in the first time and continue butting her nose in where it didn't belong and making crazy demands about a property that isn't hers, like trying to control changes OP made to the property and guests who visited. And then she'd act totally shocked and surprised when OP finally stopped tolerating it as if it was ever acceptable in the first place.
Load More Replies...I'm gonna go with the majority on this: Jane is wrong, the OP is NTA and good on her for starting early in life being a homeowner. My advice: fix up the house, sell it and find a better neighborhood with nicer neighbors.
I'd Trump that property with a fence so fast. Maybe that's why the house was so cheap, its haunted by the neighbour.
Am I alone in thinking that the greater problem here is the father? Your daughter is 20, out on her own for the first time, has bought a home (which ought to be a matter of pride in her accomplishment) and you take the part of a interfering fool - or possibly worse - harassing your child? Worse, you actually join in the harassment by demeaning her choices as a grown up when she is feeling vulnerable and most needs your support? I find that more appalling than the Karen and ditto his 'advice', which is roll over and dead - yield - when bullied by a rude stranger with nothing better to do. Shameful. I hope the young woman has learned two lessons here, not one.
I get it now. The cheap price is because of lousy neighbor! JK Neighbor was trying to pick a fight and she got it. So I'd say NTA.
WOW.... There should be a special ticket that the police can issue for people who report such crazy stuff, that wastes their time. Plus, why did she even have to show the police anything, the neighbor was not an official person who needed to know. .
Why are people such @ss****??? Did they always live among us or came into embodiment during the pandemic??? I've been reading alot about "Karen" encounters lately and its freaking me out
Your dad is a d**k, but Jane is the whole c**k and balls. (Oooo what will be censored??)
The Dad showed why Karenism is such a problem. He sided with a Karen over his own daughter.
I'm sorry, but where in the Midwest did you find a house for $15K? I grew up in a town of 60 people in North Dakota and even run down houses go for at least $40K.
It's hard to tell off a 20 year old for not acting adult enough, when the neighbour twice her age is acting like she's half the poster's age. But your dad is right really.
no, he should support his daughter. She's in the right.
Load More Replies...WOW! Congratulations on your new home. Bless your heart for having such a neighbor.
Why didn't you mention the price of the house like many others?
Load More Replies...i kinda feel sorry for the neighbor, it seems like she's very protective of previous owner's property. They must've been good friends. But as they say, a path to hell is paved with good intentions
I bought my first home (a condo) at 21 and had many experiences of the same nature.
you don't show private legal documents on demand, she should have asked the old lady for proof she lived there.
What a horrible situation. Anyway, I say she handled it right by showing the paperwork to the police but not to this nosy “Jane”. The neighbor would have scrutinized the documents and might have even damaged them.
You weren't wrong--she was--but it is always sensible not to get upset over small stuff. Your neighbor may have been wrong, but she is going to be your neighbor for at least a while. It might be worth going out of your way to mend fences. You could take her a small gift--plants or something--and apologize for the misunderstanding. That isn't apologizing for your behavior since it was her behavior that caused the problem. Sometimes it's worth buttering people up just to have peace in our lifetime.
Nosey Nelly the neighbor has no right to ask about or be privy to your personal business and financial deals. However you are going to have to deal with her as long as you both live in the same neighborhood. Rather than reacting from an emotional place, step back. Breathe, count to 10 and respond with a smile, kind voice and response that stops her in her tracks. " kill em with kindness " invite her to your house warming party, bring her flowers, veggies from garden. She won't know what to do. If she's still awful make sure your fence is really high and you have a good lock.
it's everywhere. We're in africa and we have the same BS. it's always an old white woman. No idea why.
Load More Replies...NTA.All the busybody neighbor had to do was look at the property appraiser website and could quickly determine who the owner was. The neighbor will never even know this situation has been viewed by so many people unless u print out all the comments for her as she seems challenged in a few ways, especially with technology! Go girl for getting a house for such a great deal!!!
Actually, if you were a mile away from your tech, I doubt you’d be able to see it
Load More Replies...NTA, but that won't save you from the "social" repercussions of it. You broke a stupid, unwritten rule of small town living, which is that you are either an insider or an outsider depending on who likes you. And locals tend to rally around their own, even if the person in question is to most Karenist Karen to ever Karen.
Yeah but you can also wage a war against them and make them suffer for their insolence. I did it. it's quite satisfying especially when they're clueless.
Load More Replies...NTA, but your Dad is absolutely right. The last thing you want is a**hole neighbors who can make your life miserable for decades, or as long as you or your neighbor still lives in the hood.
no he is not. if you coddle bullies they think they have won and they persist. ultimately what they want is a wasteland of abandoned empty houses around them, so they don't have to live next to anyone. The only thing you can do with someone like this is hit them so hard that they back down. I won't go into details on methods.
Load More Replies...Your dad is smart man, you never should escalate things with neighbors no matter what your rights are because you cannot choose your neighbors and you have to live in close proximity to them. He advised you well. Be careful because the one "bad" neighbor is usually against whole neighborhood we had those story here too, no one cares you're in right. That's how society works. Make a cake bring it over to her, have coffee with her, offer her help with yard, in my experience that works the best, you'd get away with murder if your neighbors like you.
After the crazy called the police on her? I doubt.... You know the saying: "never put your d**k in crazy", it also applies for crazy neighbors, without the d**k-part: just stay away from crazy.
Load More Replies...Yup. Prep the yard in the fall for a good spring.
Load More Replies...The op didn't call her a Karen did she? I thought she dubbed her 'jane'. Mental illness can cause this kind of behaviour. But a lot of people who don't have mental illness act this way. There are asshats all round the world, and good people too 🤷♀️
Load More Replies...In parts of the US, a house in need of work can be da*n cheap, especially at tax auction. Seen people nab one for $500. Crazy but some of the houses are in good shape, too.
Load More Replies...If the neighbor is that nosy, why didn't she know the previous owner had died?
She likely didn't care about the old neighbor because he was just an old man and not a good source of gossip for someone who is clearly a nosy busybody.
Load More Replies...I wish I had known when I bought my house that it was next to a busy body. 2 days into owning my house I got a notice about "poison oak" growing from my yard into someone else's. At the time I only had a peach tree and nothing else. I have no idea where this complaint came from. Then I got a notice about my back fence being broken, which I was aware of. I was already planning on fixing because I have a dog but I had just moved in and didn't have the time yet to do. The fence is fixed now and my neighbor now complains about my trash cans being left at the road after waste management comes. Even if it's only been half and hour since they emptied them.
I had a Karen neighbor who was always complaining about something. She left her pack of obnoxious little dogs in the yard all day and would complain about our "vicious" dog (a very calm pit mix who never hurt a fly!,) and she called animal control who laughed after meeting our dog. Then she called code enforcement all the time. They never found a problem except once when our garbage cans were 2" over the property line (it was a side of the yard nobody used,) but we moved them and put up a wooden strip to mark the spot. She called code enforcement to measure to make sure it was properly placed...it was. Code enforcement told us that they told her not to call unless it was a truly major problem, otherwise they would stop coming. Fortunately she got foreclosed on about a year later. It was so peaceful after that.
Load More Replies...Old people: Young people these days never buy houses anymore they're destroying the economy blah blah blah!! Young person: *Buys a house. Karen: I think the f**k not!
I am from Southern Illinois. I know it's a generalization but the people there are miserable. I can bet anyone a million dollars that if she had showed the neighbors the paperwork it would not end and it will not end. Unemployment and drug abuse are rampant there. Many people are just looking for an "enemy" or anyone to start an argument with. Small towns are the worst. They were never "leave it to beaver" world! I left and will never go back!
Yep, same in small town Utah. I've got a miserable misogynist on two sides of the property I recently bought. And since I'm a woman they really think they have the right to harass me. After months of politely trying to get him to stop, I finally told the one to stop harassing me every time I'm outside so now he's on a rampage trying to get others to hate me. So fun. I just put up privacy fencing and it's helping a little, but those types of people WANT someone to torture.
Load More Replies...If someone is that determined to make trouble, then there's not all that much you can really do about it. If it wasn't "you're squatting!" it probably would have been "you're filling your garbage bins incorrectly!" or "your front door is the wrong colour!"
yeah there is stuff you can do. subtle stuff that will make her suffer. You just have to get creative.
Load More Replies...Years ago I had a neighbor who called me white trash because I was -renting- the house next to hers. My rent was $2800. I asked her if she wanted to show each other our tax returns.
Yep. Say to the neighbour, ok, so which of us do you think will win in a protracted and expensive harassment lawsuit? who is going to run out of money first? That makes them back off. Generally these karens are old people in retirement with no spare capital, it all goes to buying Depends and headache pills. They don't have money for a lawsuit.
Load More Replies...Karen's love to waste the police's time! I swear they all have the police on speed dial at all times it's so pathetic.
She should have been charged for calling the police for something like that.
Load More Replies...Where on earth do you find a house for under 100k??
Load More Replies...The neighbour had absolutely no right to demand personal documents. You have to start out by setting boundaries, too.
100%. She's not the cops. And the cops should not respond to something like that. If you *are* squatting, it's the job of the *owner* to report you.
Load More Replies...I can't get over buying a house for $15K. Where I live, $15K will buy you a used car, if you are lucky but not one you can sleep in). As for the neighbor, I would make it my mission in life to make her miserable. I'd wear fake gold chains, rent a McLaren and park it in the driveway and have friends deliver zip lock bags of laundry detergent to my doorstep so she can call the police for drug dealing and make a fool of herself over and over. The possibilities for trolling her are endless.
I bought a brand new car, a Skoda for under 14k. It has air conditioning but nothing else.
Load More Replies...Everyone's life would be so much easier if everyone minded their own business. Yes that includes self-proclaimed mask police/mask vigilantes. Just mind ya business and walk away.
Not really. The mask thing is serious. I personally know ten people who have died of covid. All of them wealthy. Could easily afford and did afford private care. Dead within a week.
Load More Replies...NTA. She's a busy body and you don't owe her a thing, even to show her your deed of ownership. Your dad's attitude is wrong, you shouldn't be expected to drag out your paperwork for every idiot who wants to cause you trouble, you're within your legal right to refuse. Also, i wouldn't have shown her the paperwork and given in to her demands, as that sets the precedent for any future time she feels entitled to make demands on you. You did the right thing. Now, go ask her to prove she also owns the home next door. Tit for tat, Karen.
Karis Ravenhill You summed this situation up with one word: ENTITLED. A feeling of entitlement causes some folks to think they have the right to make demands on others’ right to live their lives. Sometimes it’s ageism, racism or sexism. In this case, it’s an “a**hole-ism”/ageism combination.
Load More Replies...NTA - people like that will have a problem with you no matter how nice you are.
Exactly. We got a bile of faeces from a karen neighbour the same day we moved in. We were in a state of war for about 6 years till covid bankrupted her and taught her some humility.
Load More Replies...Y'all who are saying it would be more peaceful if she just coddled this woman crack me up. This young woman is under ZERO obligation to show a neighbor any of her homeowner papers PERIOD. To the officers? Yes. To the neighbor? No. They still publish home sales in the dang newspaper. If she doesn't go online she can look there. Do y'all honestly think that even if this young woman had shown her the proof that she would have a) believed it and b) left her alone? No she wouldn't in either case.
This story brings back memories from when I bought my apartment: a 22 yo black woman apparently couldn't afford that according to some of my neighbors. So apart from all the gossiping they opened my bank statements, stole my newspapers, magazines and cds from my mailbox etc. After a couple of years I and another young neighbor took over the HOA (loads of suspicion, but no one else wanted to do it). Oh well almost 30 years later I am still the president of the HOA and the most obnoxious neighbor who also still lives here turns to me with every single problem or issue she has and she regularly invites my for coffee :-)
First of all, I really hope your dad saying you were an @$$hole was simply an expression for the post. The lady was the @$$hole for @$$uming things. It was none of her business if you were painting the door even if you were simply renting. No right to ask for proof. Call the cops? Nuisance call as far as I'm concerned. Making friends with your neighbors works both ways. Someday she might need the help of that young lady.
My husband bought a house at 20 with his 18 year old brother. My 1st house was with him at 48. I had 2 crazy neighbors in the same building once, both of whom seemed obsessed with me for different reasons. One was a dude who was a terrible alcoholic who fixated on me and decided he was in love, the other a lonely housewife who was jealous and tried to cause trouble for me at work and with friends. She wanted me to be her only friend but I already had friends and just wanted to be a polite neighbor who might have the occasional coffee together. She made up weird stories about me that sounded almost plausible that painted me in a bad light. She'd cry and bang on my walls, begging me to come over so we could be friends again. I had to go to a lawyer and I ended up moving out.
This is my take on this situation. The neighbor was determined to start conflict with someone because that's what some people do. Even if the OP had shown her the deed, she would have claimed it was fake and called the police anyway. No one has the right to shout at someone on their own property. If she were truly determined to know if the girl was squatting, she could have gone to city hall and looked the girl up in the records. We are living in a world where too many people want to be in other people's business and this is why neighbors can't get along. People should not have to appease other people's states of mind just to live in a neighborhood. Being too young to own a house is absolute nonsense and calling the police because you are upset about something is also nonsense. I am so glad that I live in a neighborhood where we actually care about each other and are not trying to be antagonistic.
The dad didn’t call her an asshole; he said that if she has to live next to this woman long-term, maybe another way of handling the situation would have been better. I don’t necessarily agree, but no one was saying that that woman was in the right.
Never bow to a bully. Whatever you think, they think it's permission. That's why they're bullies.
Load More Replies...A friend's younger brother used to help an old lady with her three flat building while he was in high school. He'd clean, cut grass, and run errands. It turned out that she willed her property to the boy. He was a property owner of three apartments at the age of 19.
Since when is it weird to have a house warming party for renting? I had one when I moved into my current apartment. It's about having a new home and wanting to share your happiness with friends.
NTA. But man, am I torn - I don't know if it would be worth it - even for a $15 k home (huh?), to live in such a small town. I am so used to living anonymously in a big city. Unless I were doing human sacrifices on my front lawn at noon, (well, even then) I doubt anyone would blink.
I can't imagine getting a house for $15,000! That's amazing. But I'm betting that no matter what you did/said, that woman is the kind of person who likes to make trouble. She kept sticking her nose in your business and making uninvited comments before she got to the drama bit. Guarantee that no matter what you did or didn't do, she was going to be a pain.
Wow. The neighbor could have inquired more. She could have been more honest: I have trouble believing that, I worry that you’re going to get into trouble, I would not want to stand aside and watch while you’ may be making a big mistake, etc etc etc - to such earnest worry, the house owner might have responded with more openness. It’s not wrong to be an alert neighbor. It’s communication skills that determines whether you come across as Nosy Parker or not.
You should have just shown her your papers with a huge grin while watching her face sliding. Sometimes its just better to treat people like that from the beginning and having your peace from then on than police and more problems showing up later on. 🤷♀️
Actually I'd counter-accuse her of squatting and ask her to provide proof of ownership.
Load More Replies...Honestly, if you plan to live somewhere a while it makes more sense to put your self-righteousness on the back burner and go along with the neighbours a little bit. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but keeping friendly could have important ramifications down the line, if you were away and something happened to your property (for example). Yes, the woman was being rude, no argument, but for the sake of going along with her disbelief, showing her your papers, and saying 'I know, it's crazy, I'm so lucky, aren't I?' you could have had someone on your side who would stick their nose in on your behalf if someone was, for example, sizing up your property for a future burglary. Dad's life time of experience was showing when he told his daughter not to be an a.rse.
I truly and honestly don't think showing the neighbor her papers would have made a difference. Someone that nosy and demanding about something that is simply not their business isn't suddenly going to turn around and be a gumdrop. Imho, this woman is off her rocker and has serious boundary issues. I think she would likely take advantage of the fact that OP caved in the first time and continue butting her nose in where it didn't belong and making crazy demands about a property that isn't hers, like trying to control changes OP made to the property and guests who visited. And then she'd act totally shocked and surprised when OP finally stopped tolerating it as if it was ever acceptable in the first place.
Load More Replies...I'm gonna go with the majority on this: Jane is wrong, the OP is NTA and good on her for starting early in life being a homeowner. My advice: fix up the house, sell it and find a better neighborhood with nicer neighbors.
I'd Trump that property with a fence so fast. Maybe that's why the house was so cheap, its haunted by the neighbour.
Am I alone in thinking that the greater problem here is the father? Your daughter is 20, out on her own for the first time, has bought a home (which ought to be a matter of pride in her accomplishment) and you take the part of a interfering fool - or possibly worse - harassing your child? Worse, you actually join in the harassment by demeaning her choices as a grown up when she is feeling vulnerable and most needs your support? I find that more appalling than the Karen and ditto his 'advice', which is roll over and dead - yield - when bullied by a rude stranger with nothing better to do. Shameful. I hope the young woman has learned two lessons here, not one.
I get it now. The cheap price is because of lousy neighbor! JK Neighbor was trying to pick a fight and she got it. So I'd say NTA.
WOW.... There should be a special ticket that the police can issue for people who report such crazy stuff, that wastes their time. Plus, why did she even have to show the police anything, the neighbor was not an official person who needed to know. .
Why are people such @ss****??? Did they always live among us or came into embodiment during the pandemic??? I've been reading alot about "Karen" encounters lately and its freaking me out
Your dad is a d**k, but Jane is the whole c**k and balls. (Oooo what will be censored??)
The Dad showed why Karenism is such a problem. He sided with a Karen over his own daughter.
I'm sorry, but where in the Midwest did you find a house for $15K? I grew up in a town of 60 people in North Dakota and even run down houses go for at least $40K.
It's hard to tell off a 20 year old for not acting adult enough, when the neighbour twice her age is acting like she's half the poster's age. But your dad is right really.
no, he should support his daughter. She's in the right.
Load More Replies...WOW! Congratulations on your new home. Bless your heart for having such a neighbor.
Why didn't you mention the price of the house like many others?
Load More Replies...i kinda feel sorry for the neighbor, it seems like she's very protective of previous owner's property. They must've been good friends. But as they say, a path to hell is paved with good intentions
I bought my first home (a condo) at 21 and had many experiences of the same nature.
you don't show private legal documents on demand, she should have asked the old lady for proof she lived there.
What a horrible situation. Anyway, I say she handled it right by showing the paperwork to the police but not to this nosy “Jane”. The neighbor would have scrutinized the documents and might have even damaged them.
You weren't wrong--she was--but it is always sensible not to get upset over small stuff. Your neighbor may have been wrong, but she is going to be your neighbor for at least a while. It might be worth going out of your way to mend fences. You could take her a small gift--plants or something--and apologize for the misunderstanding. That isn't apologizing for your behavior since it was her behavior that caused the problem. Sometimes it's worth buttering people up just to have peace in our lifetime.
Nosey Nelly the neighbor has no right to ask about or be privy to your personal business and financial deals. However you are going to have to deal with her as long as you both live in the same neighborhood. Rather than reacting from an emotional place, step back. Breathe, count to 10 and respond with a smile, kind voice and response that stops her in her tracks. " kill em with kindness " invite her to your house warming party, bring her flowers, veggies from garden. She won't know what to do. If she's still awful make sure your fence is really high and you have a good lock.
it's everywhere. We're in africa and we have the same BS. it's always an old white woman. No idea why.
Load More Replies...NTA.All the busybody neighbor had to do was look at the property appraiser website and could quickly determine who the owner was. The neighbor will never even know this situation has been viewed by so many people unless u print out all the comments for her as she seems challenged in a few ways, especially with technology! Go girl for getting a house for such a great deal!!!
Actually, if you were a mile away from your tech, I doubt you’d be able to see it
Load More Replies...NTA, but that won't save you from the "social" repercussions of it. You broke a stupid, unwritten rule of small town living, which is that you are either an insider or an outsider depending on who likes you. And locals tend to rally around their own, even if the person in question is to most Karenist Karen to ever Karen.
Yeah but you can also wage a war against them and make them suffer for their insolence. I did it. it's quite satisfying especially when they're clueless.
Load More Replies...NTA, but your Dad is absolutely right. The last thing you want is a**hole neighbors who can make your life miserable for decades, or as long as you or your neighbor still lives in the hood.
no he is not. if you coddle bullies they think they have won and they persist. ultimately what they want is a wasteland of abandoned empty houses around them, so they don't have to live next to anyone. The only thing you can do with someone like this is hit them so hard that they back down. I won't go into details on methods.
Load More Replies...Your dad is smart man, you never should escalate things with neighbors no matter what your rights are because you cannot choose your neighbors and you have to live in close proximity to them. He advised you well. Be careful because the one "bad" neighbor is usually against whole neighborhood we had those story here too, no one cares you're in right. That's how society works. Make a cake bring it over to her, have coffee with her, offer her help with yard, in my experience that works the best, you'd get away with murder if your neighbors like you.
After the crazy called the police on her? I doubt.... You know the saying: "never put your d**k in crazy", it also applies for crazy neighbors, without the d**k-part: just stay away from crazy.
Load More Replies...Yup. Prep the yard in the fall for a good spring.
Load More Replies...The op didn't call her a Karen did she? I thought she dubbed her 'jane'. Mental illness can cause this kind of behaviour. But a lot of people who don't have mental illness act this way. There are asshats all round the world, and good people too 🤷♀️
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