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Article created by: Ilona Baliūnaitė

Everyone keeps secrets. Big or small, innocent or dark, secrets are a part of who we are as human beings. And even though we might strive to be as transparent as we can, there will always be something that’s left unvoiced and unshared. Even with the people closest to us, our romantic partners. And privacy can, suddenly, morph into secrecy.

The people of Reddit, protected by the anonymity their usernames give them, opened up about the things their partners don’t know. From things that are surprisingly wholesome to secrets that are best left in the dark so they don’t ruin someone’s day. Scroll down and check out these redditors’ honest answers.

Remember to upvote the posts that you enjoyed reading the most, dear Pandas. And if you have any lighthearted secrets that your partner doesn’t know about, you can spill them in the comment section.

Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral r/AskReddit thread, u/alvl70charizard, to get their perspective on secrets in relationships. They were kind enough to answer our questions. Scroll down for our interview with them.

#1

Hand picking a slice of cheese pizza with tomato sauce and basil from a wooden table, partner secrets concept. I try to give her the “better half of life”. If there are two pieces of pizza left and one piece is burnt, I’ll take the burnt one. She gets the good piece. If I’m going to shower and there’s one normal towel left, I will use a hand rag or something to dry off — she gets the towel. If there’s that unwanted end of the bread loaf, I’ll make myself a sandwich using that sad end piece . I’ll then make her sandwich with the good pieces . I do this all the time for the smallest things. She never knows. I try to make her life better in those small ways

phillythompson , Spencer Davis Report

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    #2

    Person reading a book indoors, reflecting on thoughts about what their partner doesn’t know. That I don't need to read aloud. My girlfriend struggles with insomnia but for some reason when I talk to her late at night she passes out almost immediately. So whenever I read a book I read out loud softly under the guise that it helps me focus. It works every time :)

    xxzaif , Bogdan Cheșa Report

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    #3

    Man in a blue shirt sitting at a desk working on a laptop in a bright room near a large window. That I know our daughter's reddit account, and that I check in on her regularly. I feel deep, profound guilt about following her, because while I respect her privacy I know that she has significant physical and emotional issues. She's at college out of state, and battles with clinical depression and an unusual and incurable chronic illness, and she really, really tries not to let on to the world when she's going through a rough patch. She'll make a comment or post something that lets me know that she's feeling crushed or broken, and I'll co-incidentally reach out to her the next day and give her an opening to talk about anything that's bothering her. Most of the time it works and she'll vent for awhile and feel a little better. Some of the time we just trade pictures of cats. Either way, she knows that she's loved and that someone is thinking of her. If I told my wife about this? She'd blow the whole thing up and like a bull in a china shop she'd make it pretty clear that she knew our daughter's account and immediately interject herself into our daughter's life so she could fix everything. I understand that, because my wife is brilliant and protective and only sees the world in black and white. But I also understand that my daughter has to fix her own life - and that she's doing it every day, but that it doesn't hurt to have someone text her out of the blue and tell her a dad joke and try and make her laugh while she's doing it. I wrestle with the idea that I'm simultaneously a bad parent and a bad husband because of this. I've been married for almost thirty years, and this is the only thing I've ever kept from my wife. I hate it, but it's a hole I dug for myself, so I have to sit in it alone.

    Randomizer73 , NeONBRAND Report

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    #4

    Person holding smartphone and using laptop, browsing content related to one thing partner doesn’t know questions online. Boyfriend has financial struggles, not because of anything he’s ever done. His mother is mentally unwell and his father can’t work for various reasons. He’s been the sole provider for his family since he was a teen and has to balance his job on top of being the top 5% in his university cohort to maintain two scholarships. He had to put his mom in a psychiatric hospital by himself when he was 19. He had no support from relatives except his grandma, who doesn’t have an income herself but tries her best. He currently is raising his younger brother and paying rent for the both of them. He acts strong about it but he gets “financial panics” very very often. In comparison, my family isn’t rich but we’re definitely lucky enough to be comfortable. My parents pay my tuition, but I still work part time (teaching) because I don’t get any pocket money and I also enjoy it. I’m a very frugal person though so a lot of it just gets saved up. So, sometimes I secretly transfer some money into his account. I pretend to “borrow” his phone and delete the SMS notification off of it. He’s never noticed. It’s not a lot of money but I like to think it helps him get a little bit of extra something.

    _k0ella_ , Maxim Ilyahov Report

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    #5

    Open laptop on dimly lit bed with earbuds nearby, evoking quiet moments for someone asked what partner doesn’t know. When we watch movies together we always snack. One of our favorites to munch on during the movie are the Sour Punch Bites. She takes all the blue ones because I don't like them and they are her favorite - always says how lucky she is that worked out like that. The blue ones are also my favorite, but she can have them.

    xbone42 , Atul Vinayak Report

    #6

    Person hiding under white bed covers, symbolizing secrets partners may keep in relationships or personal connections. She suffers from depression, and when she hits a slump she feels like laying in bed and doing nothing, even though 99.9% of the time just getting out of bed and doing something, ANYTHING will make a dramatic difference in her day. So usually when she hits a slump I'll manufacture some fake emergency that only she can help me solve, like "hey babe I think one of the cats has a scratch on his face but he won't hold still for me to look." Of course, the cat is fine, but I just tricked her into getting out of bed and doing something, and that's always the hardest part.

    shutterpunts , S L Report

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    #7

    Older couple embracing warmly, showing a moment of love and connection, illustrating partner relationships and emotional bonds. That most of the times I ask my wife for a hug are when she's feeling down or upset, because she doesn't like to be "clingy or needy" so she internalises and goes quiet. I tell her I need a hug because of one thing or another so I can comfort her without making her feel like she's inconveniencing me.

    candinos , Anastasia Vityukova Report

    #8

    Person holding a smartphone outdoors, reading messages related to what their partner doesn’t know. That her mom called for her the moment before she died. When her mom was dying she was in the room with her for almost 24 hours straight and left for 30 seconds and I was there and in those 30 seconds her mother died but not before calling for my wife. I don't know if it will haunt her or not, but I just don't think it's something she needs to know

    GoGoNJDevil , LinkedIn Sales Solutions Report

    #9

    Woman lying on bed with hair covering face, expressing emotions related to things partners don't know in relationships. I rub her back when she's asleep because she makes happy noises and I like to think it makes her have better dreams... I do also do this to the dog though.

    TheVampireSantiago , Kinga Cichewicz Report

    #10

    Smartphone screen showing messaging apps WhatsApp, Telegram, LINE, WeChat, and Signal in a folder labeled Messages. My husband's birthday is Christmas Eve. Unfortunately his birthday gets forgotten a lot. The first year we were married almost no one remembered, and although he claimed it didn't bother him, I could see that it really did. So now I send out a text first thing on the morning on Christmas Eve, and all everyone to take a moment to wish him a happy birthday, and explicitly stated that no one is to let him know that I've sent out the text. Almost 12 years in, and he hasn't found out

    dream_weaver35 , Adem AY Report

    #11

    Young man looking surprised and thoughtful in front of a mirror, reflecting on something his partner doesn’t know. My husband borrows my concealer sometimes to cover up acne. Problem is, he has this beautiful olive skin and I have very fair skin…it didn’t match but he was too embarrassed to buy his own concealer so he insisted on just using whatever I was using. So I bought him his own and put it in the spot where he knows to look for mine. It took me a few tries but I eventually got the right color match

    megpal426 , No Revisions Report

    #12

    Close-up of crispy French fries inside a paper bag, illustrating a secret snack moment partners don’t know about. Whenever we get fast food to go, she enjoys eating the extra fries which have fallen out of their carriage and into the bag. I'm not really sure why she enjoys them so much but whenever there aren't any, I drop a few down when grabbing my fries secretly and then give her the bag. It's been 8 years haha. I always grab my fries last and she's never noticed.

    NecromanticGarden , JC Gellidon Report

    #13

    Couple lying in bed close together, sharing an intimate moment about things a partner doesn’t know. I pretend to be asleep when he wakes up because I love how sweetly he wakes me up :)

    throwawaythewayside , Toa Heftiba Report

    #14

    Frying crispy chicken strips in a black pan with a wooden spoon pouring sauce, highlighting natural food preparation. One time, when I was making his favorite dinner (baked chicken tenders) I didn't have any eggs so I dredged the chicken in mayo before breading it (he hates mayo). He said it was the best batch I've ever made and had seconds. I will take this to my grave.

    Shakezula69iiinne , Tyson Report

    #15

    Blue towel hanging on a rack in a bathroom, symbolizing secrets partners may not know in relationships. I always make sure he has the best softest towel for him to dry himself after a shower. I make sure he gets the big cup so he doesn't have to get up to refill. I lie to him how much his medicine costs because I don't want him to stress. It takes me a month to pay it off (we buy a three month supply). I buy the best meat and chicken so his stomach doesn't have problems and don't tell him about the price. So he just eats happily and with no stress. I pat-pat every one of his shirts (when folding laundry) with my hand so my loving energy goes in it to protect him and for him to hopefully not have stomach ache that day.

    _________Ello , Giorgio Trovato Report

    #16

    Salt and pepper shakers on a table next to a condiment organizer in a casual dining setting. I put "no salt" salt into his salt shaker he keeps on his table near his video games. He is notorious for over-salting his food and has high blood pressure. I've been doing this for almost 4 years now. He can't tell the difference.

    deckpumps_n_deldos , Peter Werkman Report

    #17

    Couple sitting outdoors as woman writes in notebook and man smiles, illustrating relationship secrets and partner unknowns. He does not know that he was my teenage crush since I was 12 and I wrote so many beautiful poems on him. We have been married for 6 years and have a child together. I don’t know if I will ever have the courage to tell him that I have always loved him.

    Mai128 , Hello Revival Report

    #18

    Red high heel shoes with ankle straps placed on a white surface, symbolizing secrets partners may not know. That I have a folder of photos on my computer called “Places I have found my wife’s shoes” that is legitimately filled with thousands of pictures of my wife’s shoes that are neither in the closet or shoe rack I started it years ago as a joke and it has gotten out of hand

    gerryf19 , Mona Siswanto Report

    #19

    Person placing an engagement ring on their partner's finger, symbolizing secrets between partners in relationships. That I knew he was planning to propose to me but I still acted surprised. Married 14 years now, still haven't told him. He is so proud of the idea that he managed to surprise me.

    Syntania , Andre Jackson Report

    #20

    Blackbird feeding hungry chicks in nest, symbolizing one thing your partner doesn’t know in relationships. My wife is the biggest softie for animals, and we have birds that nest right in a column on our porch. One day a baby bird fell out and she saw. Well it ended up dying, but I buried it and told her that I saw the momma bird come down and get it. It made her day so much better that I haven't had the heart to tell her it died and probably never will. I also distract her whenever I see roadkill coming up, or tell her it was just a plastic bag or something.

    JBroski91 , Fabrizio Frigeni Report

    #21

    Couple lying on bed with legs up on headboard, holding hands, representing partner secrets and relationships. My wife thinks I always fall asleep next to her when we cuddle at night (we go to bed at different times but I jump in for a few minutes to snuggle before she zonks out). I don’t, I just fake it. But it makes her super happy so every time, I pretend to drift off and she has to wake me and it makes her laugh every time. This has been going on for 9 years. She’ll never know.

    AndrogynousRain , Adam Winger Report

    #22

    Young woman with blonde hair wearing a white shirt, resting her head on her hand, reflecting on partner secrets. How highly I think of her. She is brilliant and capable but has the most insane and deeply rooted case of imposter syndrome I've ever seen.

    itsmyfrigginusername , Mathilde Langevin Report

    #23

    Person resting barefoot on a bean bag chair indoors, reflecting on what a partner doesn’t know in relationships. When we were dating she tickled my feet and I acted as if I wasn't ticklish. 13 years later she will tickle them and be amazed I am not ticklish, everytime it tickles. I have to hide this forever.

    dontworryimstupid , jose aljovin Report

    #24

    A person sitting alone on stone steps with head buried in arms, reflecting on partner secrets and emotional thoughts. The degree to which I was really abused by my ex. Actually no one knows

    Pahanka , Zhivko Minkov Report

    #25

    Chocolate chip cookies in a rustic bowl lined with parchment paper, highlighting comfort and homemade treats. That when I tell her I don't want her to make cookies cause we are being healthy, that I really want her to make cookies.

    Ezzy17 , Mae Mu Report

    #26

    Close-up of a corn snake on grey fabric, related to secrets partners keep that people delivered in a personal story context. My fiancé doesn't know I put a king snake in the attic last spring to take care of a rat and squirrel issue.

    pabst_jew_ribbon , Joshua J. Cotten Report