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Woman Is Sick Of Having To Watch Her Cousins’ Children At Thanksgiving Gatherings, Decides To Spend It At Her Boyfriend’s
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Food, Occasions2 weeks ago

Woman Is Sick Of Having To Watch Her Cousins’ Children At Thanksgiving Gatherings, Decides To Spend It At Her Boyfriend’s

Parents always say they love children and even judge other adults who chose not to have them, but at the same time, they will take the first opportunity to make them somebody else’s problem. On top of that, if someone refuses to take care of them, they will guilt trip that person by saying that parents need a break too.

This woman has had enough as she always becomes the designated babysitter at every family gathering. She knows that it will happen this Thanksgiving again, and at 22 years old, she doesn’t want to be sat at the kids’ table anymore, so she is thinking of skipping the family festivities altogether.

More info: Reddit

22 Y.O. is sick and tired of being the family’s babysitter but her mom is against her spending Thanksgiving with her boyfriend

Image credits: ArbasKhanYousufzai (not the actual image)

The Original Poster (OP) starts by saying that she was an unplanned child so she is the youngest in the family, meaning all the other cousins have their own families with kids. So when the family gathers during the holidays at her aunt’s house, she is sent to the kids’ playroom and is indirectly put on babysitting duty.

The parents know that OP is there with their children in the room, so when someone starts crying or fighting, they know they don’t have to go there and make sure their kids are safe.

Not only is the OP stuck babysitting the children all the time, but she also has to sit at the kids’ table when she is 22 years old. The woman isn’t looking forward to Thanksgiving because she knows it will be another chore and no complaining will convince her mom to release her from this burden.

Actually, her mom’s response really bugged people in the comments, because she said that it shouldn’t be a big deal for OP to look after the children and added that the parents need the day off. They suggested making the mom babysit the kids to see if she would like to spend the holidays like that.

The woman is the youngest of the cousins, so they all have kids and because “they need a day off,” she becomes their babysitter against her will

Image credits: u/tgbs22

The woman is now considering spending Thanksgiving with her boyfriend’s family as they already invited her, but when she told her mom about her plans, she got really upset. The mom interpreted it as her daughter abandoning her family on a day when they are supposed to be together.

However, people in the comments were supporting the OP and found it pretty weird that she had to sit at the kids’ table as usually, not even teenagers sit there. They believed that the woman should go and have a good time with her boyfriend’s family.

Not only that, but she is also made to sit at the kids table 

Image credits: u/tgbs22

Image credits: Kelly Verdeck (not the actual image)

If the boyfriend’s parents felt that they would like their potential daughter-in-law to join them for a family holiday, we can assume that the relationship is promising and it would be not only an opportunity to avoid being forced to babysit, but to bond with your future-in-laws, which is also important, but the mom also failed to acknowledge that.

Some couples may decide to spend the holidays separately, each with their own families. Matt Lundquist, LCSW, a psychotherapist and couples’ therapist, comments on it saying that there are people who don’t find the holidays that meaningful for their relationship, but he thinks that having holiday traditions does strengthen it.

When the woman complained about it to her mom, she wasn’t taken seriously and is thinking of accepting her boyfriend’s parents’ invitation

Image credits: u/tgbs22

Thanksgiving and Christmas are the biggest family holidays in the US and most often couples decide to spend them together with someone’s family or gather both of the families together for a huge celebration. It seems that this is not an option for the OP yet, so such conflicts between her and her mom can keep happening in the future as well.

It’s not only them who have these arguments, as The Knot says, “it can be challenging to figure out what works best for all parties involved. Deciding where to spend the holidays can get downright complicated, to say the least. Of course, you both want to see your loved ones, and they want to see you, and neither family wants the other set of in-laws to monopolize all your time.”

However, the woman’s mom didn’t want to hear any of it

Image credits: OakleyOriginal (not the actual image)

But this time the decision is influenced by the dread of having to babysit when the OP expressed that she doesn’t like it. Do you think that the woman should ignore her mom’s wishes and spend Thanksgiving with her boyfriend? Do you think the family would actually miss her when she never spends time with them anyway as she is always looking after the kids? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

People in the comments were encouraging the woman to go for it as she is no longer a kid whose opinion can be disregarded like that

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Bunzilla
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It'll break her heart not to have her there". What? If the OP was spending all her time looking after the kids, stuck in the playroom with the kids, then at the kid's table... what time would she be spending around her mother, or the rest of the family? BS. Total BS. Mom is just unhappy that they've lost their unpaid babysitter.

Carl Bernard
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is a poor way to show the kids how a gathering should take place. This is not a good example to set and is telling that there wasn't any proper planning beforehand and they figured let the youngest adult be the babysitter instead of the parents of those kids taking care of them. Shame on them. This is going to affect their relationship with that cousin greatly and make a worse mess in future years.

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Lisa H
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a roundabout way, this reminds me of holidays with my ex. We were together for 8 years and he spent one thanksgiving with my family. Nothing outrageous happened, we just had a nice holiday at my parents house. We agreed to alternate holidays with our respective families, but it didn't happen that way. He ended up spending every following holiday with his family (sometimes I would go, too, because I liked his family), and basically ditched my family for 7 years in a row. He would always hide behind the excuse of having to see what his family had planned first, as if he, a grown man, needed permission to stay with my family. He made his family look bad because he was so selfish around the holidays. I just wanted a few holidays spent with both him and my family at the same time, but with him, it was impossible. As much as my family gets in my nerves, I love our holiday traditions and I wanted to share that with him more than once. Instead, my needs, as usual were last with him. NTA, OP

lauralett50
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can see why he is the ex. What a narcissistic a******. I hope you are doing well now. Sending you blessings.

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moggie63
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either go with your boyfriend or, if that falls through, hit the gin early and tell them you're in no fit state to look after a goldfish, never mind all their kids.

Almarako94
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you just wait until they got wasted and then just leave. If they don't want to watch their own children why should you?

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Bunzilla
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It'll break her heart not to have her there". What? If the OP was spending all her time looking after the kids, stuck in the playroom with the kids, then at the kid's table... what time would she be spending around her mother, or the rest of the family? BS. Total BS. Mom is just unhappy that they've lost their unpaid babysitter.

Carl Bernard
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is a poor way to show the kids how a gathering should take place. This is not a good example to set and is telling that there wasn't any proper planning beforehand and they figured let the youngest adult be the babysitter instead of the parents of those kids taking care of them. Shame on them. This is going to affect their relationship with that cousin greatly and make a worse mess in future years.

Load More Replies...
Lisa H
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a roundabout way, this reminds me of holidays with my ex. We were together for 8 years and he spent one thanksgiving with my family. Nothing outrageous happened, we just had a nice holiday at my parents house. We agreed to alternate holidays with our respective families, but it didn't happen that way. He ended up spending every following holiday with his family (sometimes I would go, too, because I liked his family), and basically ditched my family for 7 years in a row. He would always hide behind the excuse of having to see what his family had planned first, as if he, a grown man, needed permission to stay with my family. He made his family look bad because he was so selfish around the holidays. I just wanted a few holidays spent with both him and my family at the same time, but with him, it was impossible. As much as my family gets in my nerves, I love our holiday traditions and I wanted to share that with him more than once. Instead, my needs, as usual were last with him. NTA, OP

lauralett50
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can see why he is the ex. What a narcissistic a******. I hope you are doing well now. Sending you blessings.

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moggie63
Community Member
2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either go with your boyfriend or, if that falls through, hit the gin early and tell them you're in no fit state to look after a goldfish, never mind all their kids.

Almarako94
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you just wait until they got wasted and then just leave. If they don't want to watch their own children why should you?

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