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Relationships are rarely straightforward, and many of the potential problems you might run into with someone aren’t obvious until the two of you actually get together.
Reddit user Extension_Accountant thought he knew this. The man was aware of how tricky his girlfriend’s ex could’ve made their life, and he still moved in with the woman and her daughter. He even took care of their housing, schooling, and other expenses.
However, the more time the girl spent with her biological dad, the messier things got, and when he started feeling like an ATM, the man turned to the internet to get some perspective. Here’s what he wrote.
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This man wanted to be a father figure for his girlfriend’s daughter since her biological dad wasn’t really in the picture
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
But the girl wasn’t treating him like part of the family
And when she got into trouble, he realized their relationship was getting worse
Image credits: scaliger99 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Now, he refuses to give her money, and tensions have skyrocketed
Image credits: dusanpetkovic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Extension_Accountant
As the man’s story went viral, he provided more information on what had been happening
Many think everyone involved should do better
Or that the man isn’t responsible for the situation
But some believe that he, in fact, is the problem
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What do you think ?
KatSaidThat 1 hour ago
TBF, I would have probably done the same as OP and thrown it back in her face about not being her father. Would it be the right thing? No. will she realise that words hurt and you don't get to tell someone they are not your father then expect them to father you? Hopefully.
Angela Corvaia 43 minutes ago
Her age really speaks a lot and the 'part-time' parental figures in her life does give her a little wiggle room on respect. His setting boundaries is necessary given the situation, no one should assume a father/daughter role unless both agree. Would a neighbor or friend been allowed to take custody of the child from the police, and what would their response have been? She is living in his house, but isn't old enough to realize the implications. Poor girl, she needs some stability and he was wrong to suddenly change his attitude because of one mistake (which was probably a cry for attention).
Dustinthewind 6 minutes ago
I agree. I think she feels she has to choose who she likes. She needs to know that while he is not her father, he is there for her but also, his house, his rules. She unfortunately can't choose where she lives yet. Her bio dad has abandoned her, and OP's behaviour shows that he abandons her too after a fight. Teenagers can be cruel and indeed say things that hurt. OP has broken her trust - if he had responded calmly, and said after she asked for money: "Remember a while ago. Now how would you feel if I said I don't owe you anything because I'm not your dad? That would hurt, right? Do you understand now how it made me feel?" He is not wrong for setting boundaries but he is wrong for the way he did it.
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Earonn - 2 minutes ago
Look, I can kinda understand that in that situation when she felt ashamed she lashed out just to save face. Typical idiotic stuff. But she could have apologised later. He's a human being with feelings, not an ATM. And why does the mother let the bio dad get away with not paying child support? That's what courts and, if necessary, prison are for.
KatSaidThat 1 hour ago
TBF, I would have probably done the same as OP and thrown it back in her face about not being her father. Would it be the right thing? No. will she realise that words hurt and you don't get to tell someone they are not your father then expect them to father you? Hopefully.
Angela Corvaia 43 minutes ago
Her age really speaks a lot and the 'part-time' parental figures in her life does give her a little wiggle room on respect. His setting boundaries is necessary given the situation, no one should assume a father/daughter role unless both agree. Would a neighbor or friend been allowed to take custody of the child from the police, and what would their response have been? She is living in his house, but isn't old enough to realize the implications. Poor girl, she needs some stability and he was wrong to suddenly change his attitude because of one mistake (which was probably a cry for attention).
Dustinthewind 6 minutes ago
I agree. I think she feels she has to choose who she likes. She needs to know that while he is not her father, he is there for her but also, his house, his rules. She unfortunately can't choose where she lives yet. Her bio dad has abandoned her, and OP's behaviour shows that he abandons her too after a fight. Teenagers can be cruel and indeed say things that hurt. OP has broken her trust - if he had responded calmly, and said after she asked for money: "Remember a while ago. Now how would you feel if I said I don't owe you anything because I'm not your dad? That would hurt, right? Do you understand now how it made me feel?" He is not wrong for setting boundaries but he is wrong for the way he did it.
Load More Replies... Earonn - 2 minutes ago
Look, I can kinda understand that in that situation when she felt ashamed she lashed out just to save face. Typical idiotic stuff. But she could have apologised later. He's a human being with feelings, not an ATM. And why does the mother let the bio dad get away with not paying child support? That's what courts and, if necessary, prison are for.
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