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273
Grandparents Think It’s Okay To ‘Rename’ Granddaughter As They Don’t Like Her Name, She Ignores Them
Do you remember, a couple of days ago, I told you about a girl to whom her mom ‘gifted’ a name that was unusually ornate in writing, and for which she was subjected to severe criticism and insults when she legally changed it to the usual spelling? If not, you can read the story here.
So, today we are faced with a diametrically opposite situation: a teenager with an unusual name, which her mom also gave her, but which she, however, really likes. And her grandparents, who show extraordinary zeal in trying to ‘rename’ their granddaughter in a way that only they like. However, let’s talk about everything in order.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post is a 15 Y.O. girl who recently had to move to her grandparents’ house
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
However, the elder couple wasn’t happy with their granddaughter’s ‘bizarre’ name and tried to ‘rename’ her
Image credits: u/Historical-Pain-3395
According to her grandparents, the ‘proper’ names for the girl were Emily or Elizabeth
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Historical-Pain-3395
However, the teen rejected all these attempts – and then the grandparents started addressing her directly as Elizabeth
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Historical-Pain-3395
The girl refused to answer in this case – and the grandparents dubbed her ‘impolite’ and even ‘rude’ for doing so
So, the Original Poster (OP) is a 15-year-old girl named Astraea. An ancient name of Roman and Greek origin, by the way – a name that was given to the girl by her very young mother, and which even then, many years ago, the future grandparents didn’t like…
Let’s now return to the present day. The author’s mother, unfortunately, for health reasons, cannot take care even of herself, so the girl moved to her grandparents’ house. And literally from the first day in the new place, countless persuasion and suggestions about ‘renaming’ took place…
Her grandparents liked something ‘more classic’ – like Emily or Elizabeth. The fact that the girl has had a name she has liked for a decade and a half was simply ignored by the representatives of the older generation… Moreover, when the OP once again flatly refused to change her name or even to have a ‘family nickname,’ the grandparents moved to action.
They simply began to address their granddaughter as Elizabeth – and when she refused to respond to this name, they told her off, reproaching her for being ‘rude’ and ‘impolite’. According to her grandparents, when elders approach you, you should answer – and in adulthood, they believe, living with the name Elizabeth will be actually way easier than remaining Astraea. But Astraea hasn’t given up, and has turned online for moral support and advice from netizens.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
“This. Is. Simply. Inappropriate. Only this way, and no other way,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment over this situation. “At the end of the day, the name a person has is their own business, and no one else’s. Yes, there are situations in adult life when a more ‘traditional’ name makes some situations easier – but in the end, imposing your point of view on others is incredible rude.”
“Unfortunately, many people of older generations, having what they call ‘life experience’, are sincerely convinced that their experience remains relevant many years and even decades after it was obtained. And this is not always the case. What I can wish for this girl is to remain firm and strong in upholding her personal boundaries, and perhaps turn to the authorities for support if such cases continue,” Irina summarizes.
Commenters under the original post are also massively outraged by this behavior from the OP’s grandparents, arguing that, firstly, a name is a personal matter only for its bearer, and secondly, the fashion for names really changes over the years, and what was ‘classic’ yesterday, tomorrow may look completely outdated.
“Explain that popular names come and go, and that ‘weird’ names are just new to them,” one of the commenters wrote. “Names like Wilma and Wilbur might seem weird to current generations. What’s old is new again.” “They don’t have to like the name. They just need to acknowledge that it’s your name,” another person wisely added.
Well, we also wish Astraea success in her battle for own name, and in the meantime, if you are interested, you can read this collection of really bizarre names given to babies by their inventive dads. And, of course, if you have some similar story under your belt as well – please feel free to share it with us in the comments below this post!
People in the comments sided with the teen unanimously, claiming that the only impolite people here are the grandparents themselves
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What do you think ?
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Obviously NTA, but I get where she's coming from. And probably tempted to give in to keep the peace. That question aside, the grandparents are not just TA but beyond disgusting. How much contempt for your own daughter do you have to have to do this, while she's dying to berate her and try to rename her nearly adult daughter, with foe the record a beautiful name. AH doesn't begin to describe how awful they are on so many levels.
Aidan Pite 1 year ago
My grandmother once admitted to me that she absolutely hated the name my parents gave me. But she was polite enough to wait until after I had legally changed it to tell me that (because I had also always hated it). 'Plot twist': They'd named me after her. She'd always gone by her middle name because she hated her first, and yet somehow my mom thought she would be 'honoured' by giving it to me...
Libstak 1 year ago
There's a song "that's not my name"....I'd be playing it, singing along to it, dancing to it all bleeping day in that household. The "that's not my name" bit would be stuck on repeat in my head even when it's not playing and I would hum and sing it constantly.
Captain McSmoot 1 year ago
OP KNOWS she's NTA in the context of ignoring her grandparents and sticking to her guns that she be called by her actual name. There's nothing wrong with wanting people to use YOUR name instead of a random one they want to assign you. That's not how the world works; we can't go around calling people the name we want to give them. If it gets bad, they refuse, and resort to repeating the name over and over until they get a reaction, tell them to grow up. As grandparents, they should know how to behave without having to be reminded by their own granddaughter! After that, if they continue, OP should tell them to shut up and OP go somewhere they are not, whenever possible (another room, outside, etc.). From what I can tell, OP doesn't know if she should change her name for the business world. Well, OP, don't. With the world being as small and connected as it is, people are learning to say and pronounce names from other languages every single day and people get along just fine.
Terry Tobias 1 year ago
I think that Astraea is a beautiful name! It's not some strange made-up name or a ridiculous new spelling of a name... it's a classic name. Future employers aren't going to have a problem with it. Grandma and Grandpa are only thinking of themselves and are trying to gaslight the OP into going along with the odd name change they are promoting. Keep ignoring them. You'll be 18 in a few years!
Paul C 1 year ago
Call your grandfather and grandmother Ann and Bob (respectively, or something similar, but definitely get their genders wrong). It will drive them wild and they will gradually understand how offensive their behaviour is.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
That would be my go to as well. But I wouldn't pick Ann and Bob. Like one of the other poster's suggested pick obscure (but real) names. Hubert, Poindexter, and the like. If they don't get the point and change what they call her, at least she can amuse herself coming up with weird names for them in the meantime.
Load More Replies...
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Gaslighting 101 here on the grandparents side. The nerve some grandparents have to think they have any say in the life of a child that isn't their's.
Somebodys grandmother 1 year ago
It is not just her name. It is the name her dying mother gave her! Have some respect!!!
Cindy Rice 1 year ago
My father was part Cherokee and taught us very early in life that a name is defining, and to abuse it is disrespectful and akin to spitting in someone's face. Talk to your Grandparents or write them a letter. Explain too them that not only is it hard enough to be fifteen anyway, you are losing your mother, slowly but surely. Your name is your connection to her. It's your birthright. It's comforting, she chose it job st for you. Tell them you realize all the wonderful things they are doing for you and are thankful, but the name is non negotiable. Tell them when they use a different name they make you feel disrespected and it's like they're slapping your mother in the face. Don't give in. If they cannot understand this, keep correcting them. Yes ma'am, my name is Astraae, but I'll be happy to that for you. Stand firm honey. Maybe write a book about your experience. I'm sure it would help people. Make a counseling appointment at a local mhc. Not for you, for all of you. You can.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Obviously NTA, but I get where she's coming from. And probably tempted to give in to keep the peace. That question aside, the grandparents are not just TA but beyond disgusting. How much contempt for your own daughter do you have to have to do this, while she's dying to berate her and try to rename her nearly adult daughter, with foe the record a beautiful name. AH doesn't begin to describe how awful they are on so many levels.
Aidan Pite 1 year ago
My grandmother once admitted to me that she absolutely hated the name my parents gave me. But she was polite enough to wait until after I had legally changed it to tell me that (because I had also always hated it). 'Plot twist': They'd named me after her. She'd always gone by her middle name because she hated her first, and yet somehow my mom thought she would be 'honoured' by giving it to me...
Libstak 1 year ago
There's a song "that's not my name"....I'd be playing it, singing along to it, dancing to it all bleeping day in that household. The "that's not my name" bit would be stuck on repeat in my head even when it's not playing and I would hum and sing it constantly.
Captain McSmoot 1 year ago
OP KNOWS she's NTA in the context of ignoring her grandparents and sticking to her guns that she be called by her actual name. There's nothing wrong with wanting people to use YOUR name instead of a random one they want to assign you. That's not how the world works; we can't go around calling people the name we want to give them. If it gets bad, they refuse, and resort to repeating the name over and over until they get a reaction, tell them to grow up. As grandparents, they should know how to behave without having to be reminded by their own granddaughter! After that, if they continue, OP should tell them to shut up and OP go somewhere they are not, whenever possible (another room, outside, etc.). From what I can tell, OP doesn't know if she should change her name for the business world. Well, OP, don't. With the world being as small and connected as it is, people are learning to say and pronounce names from other languages every single day and people get along just fine.
Terry Tobias 1 year ago
I think that Astraea is a beautiful name! It's not some strange made-up name or a ridiculous new spelling of a name... it's a classic name. Future employers aren't going to have a problem with it. Grandma and Grandpa are only thinking of themselves and are trying to gaslight the OP into going along with the odd name change they are promoting. Keep ignoring them. You'll be 18 in a few years!
Paul C 1 year ago
Call your grandfather and grandmother Ann and Bob (respectively, or something similar, but definitely get their genders wrong). It will drive them wild and they will gradually understand how offensive their behaviour is.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
That would be my go to as well. But I wouldn't pick Ann and Bob. Like one of the other poster's suggested pick obscure (but real) names. Hubert, Poindexter, and the like. If they don't get the point and change what they call her, at least she can amuse herself coming up with weird names for them in the meantime.
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Gaslighting 101 here on the grandparents side. The nerve some grandparents have to think they have any say in the life of a child that isn't their's.
Somebodys grandmother 1 year ago
It is not just her name. It is the name her dying mother gave her! Have some respect!!!
Cindy Rice 1 year ago
My father was part Cherokee and taught us very early in life that a name is defining, and to abuse it is disrespectful and akin to spitting in someone's face. Talk to your Grandparents or write them a letter. Explain too them that not only is it hard enough to be fifteen anyway, you are losing your mother, slowly but surely. Your name is your connection to her. It's your birthright. It's comforting, she chose it job st for you. Tell them you realize all the wonderful things they are doing for you and are thankful, but the name is non negotiable. Tell them when they use a different name they make you feel disrespected and it's like they're slapping your mother in the face. Don't give in. If they cannot understand this, keep correcting them. Yes ma'am, my name is Astraae, but I'll be happy to that for you. Stand firm honey. Maybe write a book about your experience. I'm sure it would help people. Make a counseling appointment at a local mhc. Not for you, for all of you. You can.
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