40 Funny And ‘Technically True’ Things, As Shared On This Twitter Account

Troll.....

Respect the teacher for giving extra credit, it was deserved.

One of my fav memes was when trump tweeted stop the count, and someone replied a picture of the count going ah-ah-ah

By hitting a window with your bare fist in the regular manly fashion of course

I put my money on the shark!

That is a terrible map.

Well it's curtains for you.

Ha! Depends where the cow comes from. A french cow has a meuhd

Also, every day is a new day in America. And everywhere else.

The instructions were not very clear

Plus that meme is simply a lie.

We live in strange times. I was gonna write his profile picture is perfect for this quote, because of the simultaneously smart and goofy face he's making. But then I thought people would think I meant because he's black. That made me a little sad.

But can we discuss that username?

Ooh come visit Jack's blowhole in NZ! Lol and don't ask which Jack

Gonna Die Fat

READ MY WORDS BOBO!

Uhhhhhhh, I know every phone number too! Need to write that on my resume

The Bible tells you that you can pray anywhere. So, yeah, churches aren't essential.

What about e-readers..hmm

Stunning level of detail.

Has her own built-in flotation devices, too.

What are the odds!

That person must be a lawyer

Doubtful s/he doesn't know any lesbian or asexual at all. S/He probably just doesn't know about it.

Sunshineandhail really needs to expand their social circle.

Aside from the preference. I'm a woman. I don't dislike men in grey sweatpants (I would never judge anyone for the clothes they wear), but I don't particularly like them either. Just as you (the poster) would probably not expect your date to be well groomed and well dressed. And would never dream of turning down a woman just because she is wearing sweats, has unwashed and unkempt hair, not showered, no deodorant, no make up to hide blemishes or bags under the eyes, wearing clothes that should have gone in the washer about 3 weeks ago. Likely still living at home with her mother. All is fair and you can totally expect and demand the perfect woman. As long as your "perfect"woman is a reflection of yourself

You can appreciate the fit guy for other reasons. Does he help his elderly neighbours? Volunteer at a charity? Save injured animals? Then I appreciate him, too! I don't have to be attracted to him.

Does he know any dead ones?

Do they have to be grey?

Morighan would like to meet you sister without those sweatpants.

Go team Earth!

He has a point

This is a very easy math problem.

They sound like a 'glass if half drowned' kind of person.

I'm jealous.

Awful taste but great execution

Well. Those questions are rather stoupid.

Does anyone have unseen juice?

Oh, Nevermind

Okay, but what about the next question?

Björn that way

Straight to the point.

What about 22nd... don't those count?

Awww, that sounds so cute ♡

They can be picky eaters, like what if they only keep on eating bacon forever. I bet 600 pounds is a small number.

So it's hot outside when you go outside and it's hot?

Captain Jack Harkness (doctor who character)

...withouth my own will.

At least it was 2, not 1 😁

Jeff, Audrey, Brian, Clare, Mike and Cherie. :D

And then you are forever dead

Don't ask for more details you don't wanna know

My computer won't go without Windows

Don't forget the words that are spelt the same, but pronounced differently. Or the words that are pronounced the same, but spelt differently. Basically, the English language is Sean Bean

technically untrue. you can be smaller than a whale and bigger than another whale. So the 2nd biggest whale in the universe surely defeats this one as there are for sure no whaleS bigger than it.

The average human has less than two legs

The median disagrees though.

Well, with a trouser about to take a nose dive to the ground, I'll not bother