Man Told He’s Not A Real Parent To Stepson, Refuses To Be A Wallet When College Tuition Is Mentioned

Every stepparent has to work just a little bit harder to integrate themself into their stepkid’s life without making them uncomfortable or stepping on any toes. This isn’t exactly something they can do on their own, and they definitely need the support of their partner through it all. 

Unfortunately, in this particular situation, a man found himself being sidelined when it came to parenting his stepson, and his wife only seemed to want his financial support for the boy. Eventually, he reached his breaking point and gave her an ultimatum.

More info: Reddit

The adults in blended families need to be on the same team when it comes to parenting the kids, or else it will lead to many conflicts down the road

Family walking on forest path enjoying time together with stepson, discussing college and family money matters.

Image credits: bristekjegor / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster explained that he got married to a single mom of a 3-year-old, and that the kid seemed to accept him as his dad very early on 

Text discussing family conflicts about stepson college money and financial responsibilities after marriage.

Text excerpt about a stepson growing up and family money challenges related to college support.

Text about a 14-year-old stepson growing up and typical parent-child challenges in a college family money context.

Text discussing challenges with stepson, family dynamics, and involvement in college money matters.

Young man and stepson managing family money and college planning together using a laptop at home.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Eventually, when the boy reached his teens, he started getting argumentative, and this is when the poster’s wife forbade him from parenting his stepson at all

Text discussing challenges of balancing stepson, college, family, and money while maintaining relationships and time commitments.

Text discussing feelings about family money and stepson college issues with an unresponsive relative's behavior.

Text excerpt discussing family conflicts and communication about money with a stepson in a college family setting.

Couple sitting on couch with arms crossed, looking upset, depicting family money issues involving stepson and college expenses.

Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster always felt hurt when his wife insisted on parenting “her” son and didn’t seem to understand how sidelined he was feeling

Text discussing a fight about stepson college family money and financial responsibilities between partners.

Text showing a family discussing stepson college savings and monthly money contributions equally.

Text about withholding college family money until an apology, reflecting stepson and family conflict over finances.

Image credits: Pitiful_Republic582

The man finally reached his breaking point and told his wife he would stop contributing to his stepson’s college fund if she only thought of the teen as “her” child

When the poster first got married to his wife, things seemed to go smoothly between them and his stepson, who was just 3 years old at the time. Even then, the man did his best to be a good dad to the little boy since his wife’s ex was an absent father and didn’t even provide child support.

It can be difficult at first to assert your place in your stepkid’s life, but parenting experts state that the best way to do it is just by showing up consistently. Although this might not seem like a big deal to you, the child will definitely notice your presence and reliability, which will slowly help them feel more comfortable.

This is exactly what the OP did, by being there for his stepson and becoming a source of support for the boy and his mom. The problems only started when the boy became a teenager and started throwing tantrums, picking fights, and questioning things. Luckily, the poster seemed to take this in his stride, but he noticed that his wife kept stopping him from disciplining the teen.

In situations like this, where the stepparent isn’t allowed to correct or parent their stepkid, it can start creating resentment over time. That’s why blended family experts state that when such issues happen, the adults need to have an honest discussion with each other and start being more like a team while parenting the children.

Young man calculating college expenses at home, focusing on family money and stepson financial planning.

Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)

It’s clear that the poster’s wife didn’t want him to discipline “her” son, and she kept sidelining him, even though he told her how bad it made him feel. He also didn’t understand why she was treating him like that since he had always been a very present father and made their family his first priority.

According to psychologists, when conflicts like this arise in blended families, it’s important for both partners to communicate and be open with one another about how they are feeling. If they are unable to do so, then they can also reach out to a professional for counseling and work through the issues with better support.

Since the woman refused to explain why she wasn’t letting the poster discipline the teen and didn’t want to apologize for her actions either, he knew he needed to take drastic measures. That’s why he eventually told her that he wouldn’t contribute to the boy’s college fund if she only thought of the teen as her child.

This obviously didn’t go down well with the lady, and she got mad at him for asserting his boundaries. What she didn’t know was that he was going to secretly keep saving up money for the boy, but wanted her to think that he had stopped it completely, until she understood his perspective.

What do you think about the man’s ultimatum, and whose side are you on in this situation? Let us know your thoughts.

Folks sided with the poster and felt that the woman was taking advantage of him for his money

Online discussion about stepson college family money, addressing attitudes and financial responsibilities in parenting conflicts.

Reddit comment discussing family dynamics and money issues related to stepson college financial support.

Text post discussing stepson college family money concerns and withdrawing college fund support on Reddit.

Comment criticizing someone as a wallet with legs, related to stepson, college, family, and money issues.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing stepson, college, family, and money responsibility issues in a family dispute.

Comment about family challenges and mindset related to stepson college family money discussions on parenting.

Online comment about family conflict over stepson college money, expressing frustration and refusal to pay.

Comment about a stepson, college, and family money discussing parenting and financial support expectations.

Comment expressing disagreement about family money and stepson's college support, insisting on parental responsibility.

Comment advising legal and financial protection regarding stepson college family money issues.

User comment discussing family money issues and spending concerns related to stepson and college expenses.

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