“All I Did Was Tell Him I Was Busy”: Customer Doesn’t Handle Employee’s Date Rejection Well

Getting hit on at work is almost never an activity anyone looks forward to. After all, just trying to do one’s job when also dealing with folks’ attention is stressful enough, but there is also the somewhat justified fear that when told “no”, this person will just escalate.

A woman shared her frightening story of a client who wouldn’t take no for an answer. After being rejected while she was on the job, he stalked her and showed up at her door, ringing the doorbell over and over again. We reached out to the woman who shared the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Rejecting someone should be the end of their attention

Young man with long hair and beard holding glass of water, facing a blurred person in an indoor setting.

Image credits: pandaeditoriai1 / envato (not the actual photo)

But one woman was horrified to realize a man from work had followed her home

Customer stalker found home and rang doorbell for half an hour before leaving when police arrived.

Stalker customer found at home rings doorbell during a heatwave asking to sit down and rest inside.

Text excerpt discussing a suspicious stalker customer who unexpectedly found a home and rang the doorbell.

Text excerpt describing a socially awkward stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell repeatedly.

Text excerpt describing a conversation with a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell.

Doorbell rings unexpectedly as stalker customer found home, causing concern in a condo setting late evening.

Stalker customer found home and rang doorbell repeatedly while resident was in the shower ignoring initial knocks.

Alt text: Person calls mom while a stalker customer found home and rang the doorbell, dog barking and urgent noise outside.

Text describing a stalker customer found at home, standing outside and ringing the doorbell trying to get the door opened.

Woman peering through window blinds with concern, anxious about a stalker customer who rang the doorbell unexpectedly.

Image credits: kryzhov / envato (not the actual photo)

Person describing how stalker customer found their home and rang the doorbell nonstop on a Sunday night.

Person distraught at back door hearing doorbell and pounding as stalker customer found home and rang doorbell.

Text explaining a stalker customer found at home banging on the door and police called after years of unknown motives.

Alt text: Text expressing fear and confusion about a stalker customer ringing the doorbell late at night repeatedly.

Person expressing discomfort about going home alone due to a stalker customer who found their home and rang the doorbell.

Person reviewing security footage and transaction history at home late at night after stalker customer found and rang doorbell

Text expressing fear and distress about a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell.

Text expressing fear and anxiety about people, highlighting the threat of a stalker customer found at home ringing the doorbell.

Text of a person sharing their fear of a stalker customer who found their home and rang the doorbell.

Image credits: pettystoned

Men need to respect a rejection

Some guys won’t take “no” for an answer because they have learned, through entitlement, cultural norms, or personal beliefs, to interpret refusal as a boundary to be crossed, not a line to be respected. This is usually a mix of entitlement, insecurity, and a view that persistence is good, even when it turns into disrespect or harassment. Media and cultural myth might magnify this, making men who “don’t give up” romantic heroes rather than boundary-violators. Sometimes, they even go as far as to present themselves as some sort of “nice guys.” The problem is that this line of thinking disallows the other person’s agency and creates situations that are terrifying, unsafe, and downright disturbing.

When someone like this shows up at your door, it’s no longer just an uncomfortable dynamic, it’s a matter of safety. Your first priority must always be to protect yourself and set good, clear boundaries. Don’t get into long explanations or justifications, as these may be taken as bids to negotiate or push further. Instead, keep answers brief and firm: “I don’t want to see you. Leave now.” Whenever possible, don’t open the door at all, speak from behind a locked door or intercom, if you have one.

It’s also important to take some precautions. If you share your accommodation, let them know so that you don’t have to face it alone. If you are by yourself, call a close friend or neighbor to accompany you. In severe cases, or if the man refuses to leave, calling local authorities can be the next option. While it can be frightening to confront law enforcement, repeated or continuous actions at your home amount to harassment and must be stopped.

There is no point being a people-pleaser around certain folks

Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)

Equally important is resisting the need to feel guilty or “mean.” Many people, especially women, are taught to be nice, but prioritizing your own safety and maintaining your own peace of mind is not mean, it’s required. Any person who is unable to respect “no” is not worth your time, your attention, or your patience. Of course, some men will still ignore a very firm “no,” so it’s not always the most effective course of action anyway.

In the long term, reporting interactions will prove to be helpful, especially if the behavior becomes habitual. Saving messages, sightings, or unwanted contact might be needed in case you decide to pursue a restraining order or other protections.

Last, how to handle someone who will not accept rejection is understanding that what they are doing is not a miscommunication, it is disrespecting your boundary. You can’t control their choice, but you can control your response by making safety, simplicity, and seeking help when needed the top priority. A firm boundary, coupled with action when needed, is the best option to take care of a situation already in your personal space. If you felt the story ended on a cliffhanger, then you’re in luck, she did share an update, which you can find below.

She shared some more thoughts in the comments

Comments exchange discussing a stalker customer found home and efforts to review security footage to identify him.

User expressing fear and hope for safety after stalker customer found home and rang doorbell late at night.

Comments discussing security measures and police proximity after a stalker customer found home and rang doorbell.

User discussing safety precautions and self defense measures after stalker customer found home and rang doorbell.

Reddit user discusses stalker customer who found their home and rang the doorbell, sharing challenges with tracking the individual.

Comments discussing fear and shock after a stalker customer found home and rang the doorbell, mentioning security footage.

Screenshot of a conversation where a user suggests getting a firearm for safety against a stalker customer who found their home.

Online discussion about a stalker customer found home and rang doorbell with updates on police and legal actions.

Conversation screenshot discussing a small vape store with limited staff and locking the door for restroom use.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell.

Readers also gave some advice

Comment advising to get a doorbell camera to stay safe from a stalker customer who found a home and rang the doorbell.

Comment on a forum suggesting to report stalker customer by sharing his photo and job info with police for safety.

Commenter warns about stalker customer who found their home and rang doorbell, urging strict home security and caution.

Screenshot of an online comment with the word Men, related to a stalker customer who found a home and rang the doorbell.

Text conversation about a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell, discussing retail safety concerns.

Person standing at a front door, appearing surprised or alarmed as a stalker customer found home and rang doorbell.

Text post with advice about coping with stalker customer who found home and rang doorbell, emphasizing support and safety.

Comment on a forum discussing stalker customer found home rang doorbell, expressing concern and advising action.

Comment expressing support and advice after a stalker customer found home and rang doorbell incident.

Comment discussing concerns about mental illness and dangers related to a stalker customer finding home and ringing doorbell.

Comment recommending a security camera to protect against a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell.

Comment recommending a Blink doorbell camera from Amazon, costing $80, to see and save footage of visitors.

Comment text from user expressing concern about stalker customer found home rang doorbell and wishing safety.

Comment discussing a stalker customer found at home ringing the doorbell and advice on personal safety for women living alone.

She also shared an update later

Text update about a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell repeatedly before police arrived

Text explaining cannabis industry rules in a non-legal state and measures taken after stalker customer found home rung doorbell.

Text description of a person discovering a stalker customer found at their home who rang the doorbell using security footage and records.

Police officers visit the home of a stalker customer who rang the doorbell and admitted to coming on body camera.

Text excerpt from a message describing harassment by a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell.

Text excerpt explaining a stalker customer violating bond conditions by coming to the home, leading to re-arrest for aggravated stalking.

Stalker customer found home and rang doorbell, causing fear and caution while watching from inside the store.

Text excerpt describing a stalker customer unexpectedly entering a shop and the owner warning him to leave or call the cops.

Text showing a person’s fear and anger as a stalker customer found home and rang the doorbell repeatedly.

Text excerpt describing a stalker customer found at home who rang the doorbell despite no prior relationship.

Text describing a panic attack after a stalker customer found the home and rang the doorbell, causing fear and trembling.

Text excerpt discussing police action after a stalker customer found home and rang the doorbell.

Person explaining plans for protection order and security measures after stalker customer found home and rang doorbell.

Text about mental health and personal growth alongside challenges, related to a stalker customer found home rang doorbell situation.

Text warning about dealing with a stalker customer found at home who rang the doorbell with ulterior motives.

Text about protecting oneself from a stalker customer who found a home and rang the doorbell, with police involvement.

Person expressing distress about a stalker customer who found their home and rang the doorbell.

Image credits: pettystoned

Commenters were thankful some action had been taken

Screenshot of an online conversation discussing a stalker customer who found a home and rang the doorbell.

Comments discussing anxiety and PTSD caused by a stalker customer who found someone's home and rang their doorbell.

Comments discussing a stalker customer who found the home and rang the doorbell, with users suggesting getting a dog for protection.

Brown and white dog lying on a beige couch looking relaxed after stalker customer found home and rang doorbell.

Image credits: pettystoned

Reddit conversation discussing carrying pepper spray and taser for protection against stalker customer who found home.

Online discussion about a stalker customer who found a home and rang the doorbell, with users sharing support messages.

Text conversation discussing coping techniques for trauma and anxiety after a stalker customer found the home and rang the doorbell.

Commenter offering support and advice on dealing with a stalker customer who found home and rang doorbell concerns

Reddit user shares update on stalker customer who found home and rang doorbell, expressing hope for peace and relaxation time.

Others thought she still needed to be prepared

Text post describing a stalker customer who found a home and rang the doorbell, sharing a personal protective order story.

Comment discussing relief that police are taking stalking seriously after a stalker customer found home and rang doorbell.

Screenshot of an online comment emphasizing people are only nice because you are a customer, related to stalker customer found home rang doorbell.

Comment discussing a stalker customer found at home who rang the doorbell, described as manipulative and dangerous.

Text post showing a user explaining how they lie to customers and grey rock people to avoid questions unrelated to their job.

Comment text on a white background about police action and a boss believing a stalker customer found home and rang doorbell case.

Text post about a stalker customer found at home and ringing the doorbell, describing harassment in retail.

Comment discussing harassment stories and how a stalker customer found home and rang doorbell for 20 minutes.

Comment text on a social media post expressing fear and relief that a stalker customer did not attack after finding the home and ringing the doorbell.

User comment on a forum expressing concern that a stalker customer situation will keep escalating.

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