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Woman Wonders If She’s Wrong For Getting CPS Involved After Seeing State Of Sister’s Home
Interview With ExpertWe all have that one relative who is an eternal drama magnet, perpetual victim of their own choices, and expert in disappearing right before the check arrives. But what happens when their mess goes from annoying to dangerous?
That’s exactly what today’s Original Poster (OP) found themselves dealing with, except instead of just a bad attitude or chronic lateness, this sibling was leaving behind literal roaches in the fridge, cat waste on the carpet, and two kids to fend for themselves in squalor.
More info: Reddit
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Sometimes, the hardest decisions we make are the ones that come from a place of love
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author’s sister had always been spoiled and somehow grew up problematic and still dependent on their parents until their widowed mother had to go to a retirement home
Image credit: bro_the_a
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Their mother left the house for the sister, but one day, when the author went to take a look at the house, she found it in the worst state possible
Image credit: bro_the_a
Image credits: Erik Karits / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The house was absolutely filthy, and she realized her sister had left her two teenage kids alone in the house while she went to live with her boyfriend
Image credit: bro_the_a
She had no choice but to call the authorities, who declared the home a fire hazard and biohazard, and this really upset the sister when she found out
The OP started by explaining that growing up, her youngest sister could do no wrong. The sister in question was spoiled by their mom and off-limits to discipline from their dad. While her siblings grew into stable, professional adults and parents, the sister spiraled through three failed marriages, multiple dropped-out-of-college attempts, and a lifelong inability to hold down a job.
Over the years, the sister had been bailed out of financial trouble more times than anyone could count, with the burden largely falling on their aging mother until she moved into a retirement home, leaving the family house in the hands of the sister. Since the OP was in charge of managing their mom’s property and affairs, she finally peeked into the old family home, and she was horrified.
Rotting food on the floor, garbage everywhere, and cat waste stained into the carpet set the stage. The fridge was crawling with roaches, and the bathrooms were completely unusable. To make matters worse, the sister wasn’t even living there. She’d shacked up with her boyfriend in another town, leaving behind her two children, who were barely 18 and just 12 years old, to survive in the filth.
Knowing how severe the situation was, the OP didn’t hesitate. With her other siblings and mother in the loop, she contacted code enforcement. The inspector who showed up announced that it was both a fire and biohazard risk, and this led to child protective services getting involved, which really upset the sister.
To better understand the disturbing conditions described in this situation, and the risks they pose, particularly to children, Bored Panda spoke with public health specialist Chibwe Musaba, who shed light on what officially qualifies a home as a biohazard.
“A house becomes a health risk when waste isn’t properly disposed of, food is left to rot, or animal and human bodily fluids aren’t cleaned up.” She explained that these situations can quickly spiral into something much more serious. “When you walk into a place with mold, cockroaches, and rodents, that’s no longer just a mess. It’s a public health crisis.”
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She also added that structural hazards like flaking lead-based paint or old fireplaces with asbestos risk long-term poisoning and respiratory complications. “You’re not just dealing with dirt. You’re now dealing with conditions that can damage organs or brain development, particularly in children.”
Speaking of children, Musaba went on to break down the very real risks they face when raised in these environments. “Children are extremely vulnerable to respiratory illnesses like asthma or chronic bronchitis,” she said. “Dust, chemical residue, and mold are major triggers.”
However, the dangers aren’t limited to the lungs. She highlighted that long-term exposure to toxins like lead and pesticides can seriously affect brain development, and that infections can also stem from poor hygiene. She also added that there could be physical and psychological effects, like sustaining injuries, anxiety, and depression.
When asked what communities or neighbors can do if they suspect neglect, Musaba’s advice was clear: report it. “Authorities like child protective services or local health departments need to be alerted,” she urged, although adding that not every situation is a result of neglect, but just hardship.
“If someone’s living conditions are declining because they lost a job or are struggling mentally, a neighbor’s support could change everything,” she said. “Pointing them to local nonprofits or even just listening could also be a small step toward recovery.”
Netizens were in support of the OP’s decision, with many agreeing that the safety and well-being of the children justified immediate intervention. They also acknowledged the difficulty of acting against a family member, but emphasized that “the children’s well-being is more important than any trouble [the] sister may get into.”
What do you think about this situation? What would you do if you found a loved one living in conditions like this, especially with kids involved? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens insisted that the author did nothing wrong in reporting to code enforcement, as no child should ever live in such conditions
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago (edited)
NTA, never call and warn people who are neglecting their kids. Let the authorities get an honest look at the situation. They see enough that they know if it's just a bad week or abuse/neglect. Especially for a middle class white family.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
WTF - asking if 18 and 12 are not able to clean up - why the f**k should they?
*raspberry sound 7 months ago
Do you really have to tell someone that filth is unacceptable? Or tell them to check on the living conditions of their children?
Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
I'm not usually one for recommending TV series, and especially not "reality TV", but (assuming it's not blocked where you live) hunt up a few episodes of the show Hoarders (you should be able to find a decent number on YouTube). Or, if you'd rather take my word for it, you'd be horrified at the small but significant number of people for whom the answer is "yes, repeatedly, and they will strongly resist this answer until they get into severe therapy".
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FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago (edited)
NTA, never call and warn people who are neglecting their kids. Let the authorities get an honest look at the situation. They see enough that they know if it's just a bad week or abuse/neglect. Especially for a middle class white family.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
WTF - asking if 18 and 12 are not able to clean up - why the f**k should they?
*raspberry sound 7 months ago
Do you really have to tell someone that filth is unacceptable? Or tell them to check on the living conditions of their children?
Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
I'm not usually one for recommending TV series, and especially not "reality TV", but (assuming it's not blocked where you live) hunt up a few episodes of the show Hoarders (you should be able to find a decent number on YouTube). Or, if you'd rather take my word for it, you'd be horrified at the small but significant number of people for whom the answer is "yes, repeatedly, and they will strongly resist this answer until they get into severe therapy".
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