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Parents Laugh When Son Says They Always Choose Adopted Kid, He Returns The Favor By Ditching Them
A sad young boy, covered in a white blanket, resting his chin on his hands. He's playing second fiddle to his adopted bro.

Guy Treated As Second Best To Adopted Bro, Cuts Fam Off, They Expect Him To Take Them Back

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Adoption is a wonderful process that helps vulnerable children get a new home and a fresh start with folks who will love them. Even though it’s a life-changing decision, it can sometimes cause problems for other kids in those families, who might feel sidelined.

This is what a man faced for nearly a decade of his childhood after his parents adopted a young boy, as they focused all their love and attention on him. This caused the guy to sever ties with his family, who kept trying to guilt him into reconciliation.

More info: Reddit

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    Sometimes parents might unintentionally show favoritism toward just one of their kids, and that can be difficult for their other children to deal with over time

    Image credits: moonalismaili / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    The poster shared that when he was 9, his parents fostered a 7-year-old boy, as his mother had several issues and couldn’t take care of him

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    Image credits: Freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)

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    The poster was asked to adjust a lot for his new brother, but after a year of being sidelined, he broke down to his parents, but they just laughed off his concerns 

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    Image credits: Freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)

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    Eventually, the man started distancing himself from his family, which led to him also moving out, and he told his family that he didn’t think of the adopted kid as his brother

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    Image credits: ThrowRAMindLoew

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    Despite there being three years of no contact with his relatives, the poster’s family kept trying to force him to reconnect with them

    When the man was a young boy, his parents decided to foster a 7-year-old kid whose mom couldn’t look after him properly. Since the child came from a broken home, the adults wanted to do everything in their power to make him feel loved, which, unfortunately, took away focus from their own son.

    According to research, when parents adopt children, they might shower the little one with a lot of attention as a way to make up for their struggles. This can definitely help create a nurturing environment for the kid, but it could create challenges for other children in the family who might experience an imbalance in attention. 

    This is exactly what happened to the poster, who suddenly found himself having to move into a smaller bedroom, set aside his desire for a new bed, and no longer being given his favorite meals. Apart from that, he also had to attend all of his adopted brother’s activities, while his parents skipped his own events.

    What a lot of folks don’t realize is that children can be quite sensitive to their parents’ attention, so they might feel bad if there is any real or perceived favoritism toward their siblings. That’s why experts explain that adults should be putting in equal effort to be there for all of their children, so that nobody feels left out.

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    Image credits: karlyukav / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    Eventually, after 1 year of feeling second best to his adopted brother, the poster finally shared his feelings with his parents. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to realize his pain and laughed it off, which made him feel even worse, and he decided that he was going to stop worrying about what they thought anymore.

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    That’s why he began distancing himself from his parents and relatives, since nobody seemed to care about what he was doing either way. Only when he turned 18 did he finally decide to move out and live with his best friend, while essentially cutting his family off completely.

    It can be quite a difficult decision for someone to choose to go no-contact with their loved ones, but psychologists explain that this is usually done out of a need for self-protection. People might not be able to deal with the pain of keeping toxic relationships alive anymore, which is why this strategy might help them get some sense of mental peace.

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    Even though the man had gone 3 years without any contact with his family, he didn’t know what to do when they started reaching out to him through social media and email. They felt he should move on from the past and welcome them back into his life, but he wasn’t sure it even made sense to do so.

    Do you think the poster should make amends with his family, or just make a clean break from them? We’d love to hear your opinions on this matter.

    Folks urged the guy to move on and to not to let his absent parents back into his life

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    Poll Question

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 2 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 2 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows

    What do you think ?
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One commenter mentioned the parents having a "narcissistic saviour complex". Kindness to a foster child/adoptee looks more heroic than kindness to one's biological child. The parents didn't care about the OP being neglected until other people noticed and mentioned it - and then they pretty much blamed the OP for making them look bad.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If OP is not interested in further contact, there's no reason to respond to the overtures. They made their choices, these are the consequences. Hope it was worth it.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep! Hope the adopted kid saves his money cuz *he'll* be supporting the "parents" in their old age!

    Load More Replies...
    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's very common to over compensate in favour of a child who grew up disadvantaged. His parents did a poor job all told. 1. Not asking his opinion in the first place on taking him in. 2. Displacing him from his room. 3. Displacing his dinner. (they seem minor but to a kid it's huge.) 4. No family therapy to help communication and adjustment. 5. Proceed with adoption when bio son is clearly unhappy. Etcetc. Parents need to be careful just expecting kids to "fall in line." They deserve to be included in Family. My little sister was born when I was 13. And I felt displaced. I was the youngest of 4. All the hand me downs. Smallest bedrooms. Told no to hobbies etc as no money. She was born of a second marriage. Got all the yes. And I also parented her a lot. It does affect you. So you choose family that choose you back.

    Load More Comments
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One commenter mentioned the parents having a "narcissistic saviour complex". Kindness to a foster child/adoptee looks more heroic than kindness to one's biological child. The parents didn't care about the OP being neglected until other people noticed and mentioned it - and then they pretty much blamed the OP for making them look bad.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If OP is not interested in further contact, there's no reason to respond to the overtures. They made their choices, these are the consequences. Hope it was worth it.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep! Hope the adopted kid saves his money cuz *he'll* be supporting the "parents" in their old age!

    Load More Replies...
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    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's very common to over compensate in favour of a child who grew up disadvantaged. His parents did a poor job all told. 1. Not asking his opinion in the first place on taking him in. 2. Displacing him from his room. 3. Displacing his dinner. (they seem minor but to a kid it's huge.) 4. No family therapy to help communication and adjustment. 5. Proceed with adoption when bio son is clearly unhappy. Etcetc. Parents need to be careful just expecting kids to "fall in line." They deserve to be included in Family. My little sister was born when I was 13. And I felt displaced. I was the youngest of 4. All the hand me downs. Smallest bedrooms. Told no to hobbies etc as no money. She was born of a second marriage. Got all the yes. And I also parented her a lot. It does affect you. So you choose family that choose you back.

    Load More Comments
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