Life has a way of changing fast, and not everyone adjusts at the same pace. This 18-year-old college student was used to it being just him and his mom after his dad passed away. But now that she’s engaged and living with her fiancé and his kids, everyone expects him to take on the role of a big brother. He’s not interested, yet his mom and her fiancé’s family think he’s wrong for keeping his distance. Now he’s unsure if he’s handling the situation the right way.

The 18-year-old’s mom is newly engaged and now shares a home with her fiancé and his two kids

Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto/Envato (not the actual photo)

Her new family hopes the teen will step up as a big brother, but he doesn’t see himself in that role

Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: CreateGameTwinsx

“Building strong relationships in a blended family requires intentional effort and communication”

Families don’t all look the same—some are big, some are small, and some come together through different relationships. At the end of the day, though, what makes a family great isn’t its size or structure, but the respect and kindness that hold it together.

Blended families, also known as stepfamilies, happen when two people start a life together, bringing a child or children from a previous chapter of their lives. Many assume this setup is naturally complicated, and while it does come with challenges, patience and care can help these families grow into something truly special.

In fact, according to VeryWell Mind, blended families offer plenty of benefits. For one, having more family members around can create stronger bonds and a larger support system where people care for one another. Children in these families are also exposed to different backgrounds, helping them develop valuable communication skills, manage conflicts, and adapt to new environments more easily.

That being said, blending two families isn’t always smooth sailing—especially in the beginning. Everyone takes on new roles, and for children, it can be particularly difficult. Their world isn’t the same anymore, and building trust takes time. Some may feel torn between their biological parents, unsure of how to accept a new family dynamic. Others might struggle with divided loyalties or simply need space to process the changes.

Image credits: MikeShots/Envato (not the actual photo)

That’s why parents and stepparents have to be thoughtful in their approach. Pressuring children to immediately get along can have the opposite effect—just like in this story.

“Building strong relationships in a blended family requires intentional effort and communication,” Samantha Quigneaux, LMFT, National Director of Family Therapy Services at Newport Healthcare, told VeryWell Mind.

Experts suggest starting small. Friendly, low-pressure interactions can help kids feel more comfortable. Doing simple activities together—like watching movies, playing games, or going out somewhere—allows trust to grow naturally. Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, also suggests spending one-on-one time with each child to make them feel valued and appreciated.

Respecting boundaries is just as important. Kids shouldn’t feel like a stepparent is trying to take over the role of their biological parent. They might have mixed emotions about the changes, so giving them space to process everything is necessary.

Positive reinforcement can also make a big difference. Encouraging children’s efforts, celebrating their strengths, and making them feel secure and loved can help them gradually warm up to their new family dynamic.

And if children act out, it’s important to handle it with empathy rather than punishment.

“Remember that change brings up feelings of discomfort and manifests differently in every child. So rather than reacting to tantrums, talking back, or acting out, step into the child’s behavior with care, respect, and curiosity for what they are feeling and going through,” says de Llano.

Most readers sided with the author

Some, however, thought he should make an effort to connect with his mom’s fiancé and his kids

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