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Teenager Is Expected To “Give Up His Freedom” Until He’s 21 To Take Care Of His Baby Brother
Some time ago, Reddit user A-Lot-Like-Birds had been babysitting his young brother. 17 at the time, he was sacrificing virtually all other aspects of his life, and although his mom paid him for it, the money was minuscule compared to the number of hours he was putting in. However, when the teen brought it up, saying that he wants to move on and start building his own future, the woman didn’t take it well and they got into a huge fight.
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This teenager had been looking after his baby brother full-time for more than half a year
Image credits: vedrana2701 (not the actual photo)
And while his mom had been paying him, he confronted her because he thought it wasn’t enough
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: A-Lot-Like-Birds
Image credits: Danik Prihodko (not the actual photo)
You can understand why OP’s mom wants him to help. The world has changed a lot over the last few years due to the pandemic and economic struggles, and families have felt the shift when it comes to managing their households as well. Making matters worse, nearly 9,000 U.S. daycares closed in 37 states between December 2019 to March 2021, according to findings from a new 2022 survey by ChildCare Aware.
Parents continue to struggle to pay for child care. In fact, 59% are more concerned about its costs now than in years prior, which is driving significant changes, such as taking on a second job (31%), reducing hours at work (26%), changing jobs (25%), and leaving the workforce entirely (21%), just to foot the bill.
But while there’s nothing wrong with asking your son to help look after his baby brother once in a while, expecting him to put in 50-60 hours per week, month after month and year after year for just $150 sounds quite bad.
The national average cost of a nanny for one child averaged $694 per week or about $17.35 per hour.
Image credits: Lukas (not the actual photo)
People supported the teenager and advised him to move out as soon as he could
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What do you think ?
Casey McAlister 2 years ago
NTA. A 17 yo shouldn't be wasting the best years of their life raising kids they didn't choose to have.
Monday 2 years ago
Exactly. Not his kid, not his responsibility. As an older sibling it's natural you might be expected to help out occasionally, but watching your siblings every day is not fair.
Load More Replies...
Jessica Lish 2 years ago
I know exactly how this kid feels except I had to take care of 3 brothers and 1 sister all the time and I didn't get paid my egg doner said that it was my job to care for my siblings and when I turned 18 I tried to move out and my mom wouldn't let me but with the awesome help of so teachers at my school and a police officer I was able to finally escape and never looked back
Stormy Lehto 2 years ago
That’s what I’m saying too! He needs to call the cops or cps. She’s abandoning her baby with another minor. That’s neglect.
Load More Replies...
Charm Hockaday 2 years ago
As the eldest of my siblings of a mother who kept getting new baby-daddies and having more children than she could afford (because she wanted a big family as she was an only child), this hits home too much for me. I don't know what the effing deal is for these "parents" to auto-obligate the oldest child to care for the littles at the sacrifice of the oldest ability to prepare for independence?
Kate Jones 2 years ago
There's a difference between helping out around the house, especially for anyone over 18 and living at home. There should be an expectation of helping and contributing. But that isn't in the form of being a parent so the actual parent doesn't have to be. This isn't helping, it's servitude. Not only that but she's stifling your ability to live a positive and healthy life in order to fit her needs. Get out asap. Don't ask...just let her know she's going to need to arrange day care for the baby because you are applying to jobs. Try to find something with a bus stop nearby, or somewhere close enough that you can walk there. Let her throw a fit. She can't kick you out legally until you are 18. Don't back down. Save as much as you possibly can. 2 weeks or so before you turn 18 start looking for an apt with roommates or take up your friends' offer. Once you have enough money saved for classes you can call Driver's ed and use one of their cars. Then save up for a used car.
mysterious 2 years ago
This could be taking place over the summer, or he could have a late birthday and graduated, graduated early, lots of reasonable options.
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Niki A 2 years ago
I have a 15yo and I am about to have a new baby. I also have an 11yo. Neither of them will be the babysitter unless they want to help, and I intend to pay them. This is their childhood...
Stormy Lehto 2 years ago
I hope you won’t pay them a small wage. Childcare is expensive and it’s more than fair to pay them a fair wage if they’re doing everything for you.
Load More Replies...
Casey McAlister 2 years ago
NTA. A 17 yo shouldn't be wasting the best years of their life raising kids they didn't choose to have.
Monday 2 years ago
Exactly. Not his kid, not his responsibility. As an older sibling it's natural you might be expected to help out occasionally, but watching your siblings every day is not fair.
Load More Replies... Jessica Lish 2 years ago
I know exactly how this kid feels except I had to take care of 3 brothers and 1 sister all the time and I didn't get paid my egg doner said that it was my job to care for my siblings and when I turned 18 I tried to move out and my mom wouldn't let me but with the awesome help of so teachers at my school and a police officer I was able to finally escape and never looked back
Stormy Lehto 2 years ago
That’s what I’m saying too! He needs to call the cops or cps. She’s abandoning her baby with another minor. That’s neglect.
Load More Replies... Charm Hockaday 2 years ago
As the eldest of my siblings of a mother who kept getting new baby-daddies and having more children than she could afford (because she wanted a big family as she was an only child), this hits home too much for me. I don't know what the effing deal is for these "parents" to auto-obligate the oldest child to care for the littles at the sacrifice of the oldest ability to prepare for independence?
Kate Jones 2 years ago
There's a difference between helping out around the house, especially for anyone over 18 and living at home. There should be an expectation of helping and contributing. But that isn't in the form of being a parent so the actual parent doesn't have to be. This isn't helping, it's servitude. Not only that but she's stifling your ability to live a positive and healthy life in order to fit her needs. Get out asap. Don't ask...just let her know she's going to need to arrange day care for the baby because you are applying to jobs. Try to find something with a bus stop nearby, or somewhere close enough that you can walk there. Let her throw a fit. She can't kick you out legally until you are 18. Don't back down. Save as much as you possibly can. 2 weeks or so before you turn 18 start looking for an apt with roommates or take up your friends' offer. Once you have enough money saved for classes you can call Driver's ed and use one of their cars. Then save up for a used car.
mysterious 2 years ago
This could be taking place over the summer, or he could have a late birthday and graduated, graduated early, lots of reasonable options.
Load More Replies... Niki A 2 years ago
I have a 15yo and I am about to have a new baby. I also have an 11yo. Neither of them will be the babysitter unless they want to help, and I intend to pay them. This is their childhood...
Stormy Lehto 2 years ago
I hope you won’t pay them a small wage. Childcare is expensive and it’s more than fair to pay them a fair wage if they’re doing everything for you.
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