Mom Of Two Explains What It Feels Like To Be Sober For Two Years And People Instantly Relate
We have all been to situations where we don’t want to do something, we know why but just can’t be bothered explaining ourselves to everyone else, knowing that would sure suck us in an endless conversation about the decision and ain’t nobody got time for that, right?
Therefore, it really takes courage to expose yourself in sensitive topics and even more so, when you’re doing that on the Internet. This didn’t put off this brave mom of two, Celeste Yvonne about an issue many can relate but rarely speak of and the Internet loves it. This is not the first time she’s drawn attention to serious issues parents face though.
More info: Celeste Yvonne
This is Celeste Yvonne – a writer, Instagramer, marketing guru and most importantly a mom of two
Image credits: andwhatamom
In her blog, she mostly writes on parenting in an excruciatingly honest manner that every parent can relate to. She also tries to bring awareness to social issues that are usually kept under wraps. Her latest topic of quitting drinking has drawn a lot of attention since her decision to talk about it publically.
About a year ago she decided to go public about being “alcohol-free”
Image credits: andwhatamom
In an interview with Bored Panda, Celeste said she made the decision to quit drinking completely in December 2017 after realizing she couldn’t be the mom she wanted to be with three glasses of wine in her system almost every evening.
And her sobriety post went viral
Not drinking had a huge impact on her family life
Image credits: andwhatamom
Her relationships with her kids and her spouse have absolutely grown. “I’m less distracted and I’m more present. I still get angry, I still get frustrated, but I don’t experience the tremendous guilt that came with over-drinking around my family. I don’t worry my kids would always remember me with a drink in my hand, and then as they grow up my own worry about what kind of effect that would have on their own decisions as adults. ”
It wasn’t an easy decision to go public about it though
Image credits: andwhatamom
It took Celeste a year to go public with her decision to stop drinking. But it was all worth it as she is now getting messages every day, thanking her for bringing awareness to this and talking so openly about her own journey.
She has advice for people tackling similar problems
Image credits: andwhatamom
The mom of two admits she was very reluctant to talk about her decision to quit drinking in the first year but now she feels more confident about it every day. Despite believing that “No” is a complete sentence, she admits people are fascinated with a person’s choice to not drink, and a “no” response often gets volleyed back with a “how come?” Her recommendation is saying “it’s for personal reasons” and changing the topic. “But as I become more confident, I’ve discovered it’s a lot easier for me to say “I quit drinking a year and a half ago and it’s the best decision I ever made.” I love my success story and it’s exciting to share my journey with others. ” she adds.
And refuses to be a member of “mommy wine” culture for any longer
Image credits: andwhatamom
Sometimes it may seem moms, in particular are being targeted by alcohol companies through advertising and in social media with the so-called “mommy wine culture.” and it’s dangerously effective. Celeste herself admits having used the “mommy wine” memes and jokes as justification to her overindulgence and definitely feels like the minority now that she’s not drinking. “Almost all my mom friends drink and swear by their wine. The difference between them and me was I never wanted to stop with just one drink,” she told Bored Panda.
Women on the Internet could instantly relate
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Share on FacebookIf your friends are willing to exclude you for not drinking, they are not your friends.
It irritates me when people feel the need to have a PSA about their minor struggle. Yes, when you don't drink, people ask why. Have an answer ready, "I just don't". If they press it, they are not the kind of people you want to hang out with anyway. But you can't freak out because someone offered you a drink and you didn't tell them you don't drink.
I understand what you are saying and can partially agree with you. But I think the PSAs help a lot of people who are not assertive or are introverts cope with something they are having issues with on a daily basis. I figure if you don't have that problem, then just ignore them and move on with your day. Everyone needs support at one time or another right?
Load More Replies...At least she has kids...try being childless and a non drinker...that makes so many people uncomfortable lol
Child-free, non-drinker AND vegetarian over here! Proud of who I am though, just waiting for the rest of the world to stop feeling personally offended by MY chosen lifestyle.
Load More Replies...Why is this even a thing?, so she chooses not to drink, well done, why the world needs to know i don't get. Drink or don't, whatever, if people don't like you for it, forget about them.
cause alco-mom did not learn anything proper and now needs to do "something"
Load More Replies...wait, is this a weird American thing? I've never even heard of moms drinking while their children are on a play date. How do you get home sober? Why is this a thing?
I think the same. Here in Europe this is not a thing, moms drink coffee and eat cake when are on a play date.
Load More Replies...I drink but I don't give a damn if my friends do or not. A no is a no. I'm still going to offer my friends alcohol, just like I offer them juice, water, milk, or soda when they come over.
I'll admit that -- even as someone who likes to have an occasional drink -- it's bizarre to see so many posts of moms/wine.
It’s like being told THIS IS THE CORRECT WAY TO COPE. Sure I am not a parent but I’m the weird 31 year old that hasn’t been drunk and only drinks a handful of times a year.
Load More Replies...Sad that she has made a simple decision and doesn't even have the confidence to tell her "friends" that she just decides not to drink. Either she doesn't have actual friends who respect her decision, or she's too hung up on how people think of her.
I think she is making the whole thing a big deal, and being weird about it, and that's how some people have reacted to it ; because like someone said in their comment, "she is not owning it". I think that she is struggling to "own it" , because she hasn't even admitted / dealt with the fact that "she had a problem", at all. I even detect a bit of deflection on her part; she feels ostracized, and judged, and it's all about how "they" are dealing with her "no drinking", and it's a distraction for her, because I bet she has not dealt with the REASON she started drinking, and got to where she didn't want to stop. I really feel for her, but she is going to struggle until she deals with the underlying reasons/issues that contributed to her "problem." I think that she is embarrassed, and ashamed, and the word "alcoholic " is a dirty word that does not apply to her-but it's not a dirty word. This strikes all kinds of people, and it knows no prejudices..I wish she would get some help...
i dont drink and get asked all the time to, or asked why i don't. Have an answer ready, no big deal.
try being sober in a society where beer is a huge cultural thing... I cannot even count how many times I have been called "weird", "not fun" or "hipster" for not drinking... and those who are saying "you are around wrong people" just don't understand there are many social situations where you just cannot choose - family gathering, work party, weddings...
Anyone saying s**t about “the wrong people” is just blaming the person who did nothing wrong. I rarely drink and nobody gives me a hard time but I don’t blame her for the fact that people give her a hard time.
Load More Replies...I am almost 39 years old, I have never drunk alcohol in my life and I do not plan to. I will proudly announce this. It's just who I am.
I know the step to get help is one of the hardest parts, but it's like a weight gets lifted off your shoulders, and you are surprised how much relief you feel. You start liking yourself again, you forgive yourself in time, and you will wish you had done it along time ago. I had to get help.....over 5 years clean and sober...
I'm sure nobody cares that she doesn't drink. Problem with being sober on the month the people that drink is that drunk people are sloppy and I'm nauseous. It's been that way my whole life I'm the non-drinker and I have to put up with the drinkers. And always the designated driver
Let me try that again the problem with being sober in the middle of people that drink it's a drunk people are sloppy and obnoxious LOL
Load More Replies...Just say no, you weak-willed human being. Not every mother out there is a alcoholic, they just want to share a drink with a friend - who the hell are you to judge them? It's useless weak people like you who just can't politely refuse instead of splay all your neurotic c**p over the Internet.
In response to Krysta Pandoo-I respectfully disagree. I don't think she is judging others. She is explaining her own struggles. It is very difficult for recovering alcoholics. It becomes clear how much of our society revolves around alcohol when you become sober. And people do ask why you aren't drinking, even when you prefer to keep your reasons private. Yes, you can say no. But it also comes with a deep internal struggle.
Load More Replies...You know what I never really thought about it but shes right. People are always so shocked when they hear that a 22 year old has never drank. Some have even tried to pressure me into drinking and I feel embarrassed when I tell them my family has a history with alcohol abuse and I don't want to become another statistic. You don't have to drink to have fun.
She looks wired, like her eyes are as wide as they will go! I think she traded wine for too much caffeine!
Almost every alcoholic does. She looks pretty to me tho.
Load More Replies...I'm 54 and have never touched a drop of alcohol (not religious, just not interested and I hate the smell). I have never had anyone push me to drink or question my decision. I think it has a lot to do with how you refuse. If you are confident and don't make a big deal out of it, they understand you are serious and leave you alone. If you act like you're conflicted and sound wishy-washy, they think you want someone to give you permission and will push. This isn't a huge thing unless you make it one. Just say, "No thanks, alcohol doesn't interest me." And, if they don't get it, tell them to move on.
I've had a drink, once, when I turned 21. Never again. I have zero reasons why just never been interested. At 40, I get more flack for not drinking from folks who drink and want a deep and personal reason why I don't drink. When I don't have one, it's on to them justifying how much they're going to drink and a guilt(?) that I'm somehow judging them. I don't like how people's internal guilt about drinking gets projected on me because I don't care what you drink and I have no idea how much wine/liqour is considered "socially unacceptable" so I can' t (and don't care to) judge what you do. This is and has always been a thing in my world.
I'm not saying you're not going through this, but you must be unlucky... I don't drink, and I live in a culture known for enjoying alcohol quite a bit. Everyone is cool with that, no questions asked. I'm not offended when someone offers me a drink, though, they're being polite. I understand that me saying yes to a glass of wine would be the most obvious thing to do. But I found that after a few instances of saying no, folks actually get juice or other drinks for me when I come over. I don't expect it, but they do. You must have very stubborn friends... and you do seem to get upset easily, to be frank.
Also, I've been the (very much appreciated) DD ever since I was a teen (I'm 38 now). I really don't mind doing it, I'd rather my friends be safe. And I still have amazing parties and evenings with them. No need for a drink.
Load More Replies...NO ONE, NO ONE, NO ONE Should ever have to explain why they do not drink!
I don’t drink and some people are surprised but rarely get negative comments and I don’t feel pressured to drink just because others are drinking. More people are shocked and react to me not drinking coffee and get called a weirdo etc. Can’t stand anything alcohol or coffee flavoured.
Look at me!!! Look at me!!! Lady no one cares about your supposed “struggle.” Don’t drink, drink, whatever. This will come as a shock to you: people don’t care about your every little move.
This will come as a shock to you, then, but there are some very rude and crude people out there. They will criticize and belittle you for being different from them. If you have never encountered this, then you are very blessed, and you should be thankful. For the rest of us, we have to constantly explain our religious backgrounds, our medical restrictions, our sobriety etc. We say, "none for me, thanks!" That should be enough, but we are pressured with the demand to explain our dietary needs. Going out for lunch with the boss? Say no to alcohol? Prepare to get a lecture from your boss about not being a team player. Going to the church choir director's house for a picnic ? Say no to beer? Prepare to be lectured about being a party pooper, and playing holier than thou.
Load More Replies...My dad was a heavy alcoholic for much of his life and I used to find empty beer bottles hidden in places around the house, but then he made the life changing decision to quit all on his own, without any coaxing from anyone or AA groups
I understand what she is talking about. My husband and I both drank for years. He just decided he didn't want to anymore. When people we partied with for years would offer him a beer, he would just say no thanks. You would have thought from their reactions that he had said he wasn't going to breath anymore. I haven't drank for years just because I got tired of it and didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't realize that people would be shocked that we didn't drink, like there was something wrong with us because we didn't drink. To each their own is how I feel about it. As long as you aren't hurting anybody then I really don't care whether you drink or not.
The only statement I can relate to is about alcohol being the only drug that we seem to have to explain why someone doesn't do it. I experienced this a lot especially when I turned 21. I would be be pressured to drink and when I would say no, people would always want an explanation. Usually, when I would say that I just don't want to, that wasn't enough of a reason for people and they would still bug me. Thankfully, now that I'm in my 30s, I don't get pressured to drink much anymore and I really haven't had to explain myself.
At 40, I still have to have the "you don't drink?" conversation/confused look from folks, especially those I'm meeting for the first time. And then the stammering follow up about what they plan on drinking. I 100% don't give a fig what the hell you plan on doing and you don't have to clear your drinking choices with me. There was a point where I used to carry soda and lime so folks would quit asking me about it, but now I just roll out with my ginger soda and walk away from folks with that "confused look" .
Load More Replies...I'm 39 and do not want kids. I also recently stopped drinking alcohol. Now I avoid going to the local bar/restaurant to socialize, because of the reactions I get when I say "I'm not drinking, thanks". OMG ARE YOU PREGNANT!?!?! is the usual annoying and inappropriate reaction from people. Then I have to get in to that topic...LOL
Why are you hanging out with people that peer pressure you to drink in the first place? If they can't take no for an answer the first time, then don't go back!
In this instance, I'm guessing it's because she said, "not right now" instead of "I don't drink." To me, the first means, "maybe later."
Load More Replies...Some of you have been very blessed, never have been ridiculed or berated for choosing to say no to alcohol. Here in the Midwest, if you say no to alcohol, (oftentimes) people demand to know why you won't drink. If you try to be vague, to protect your own privacy, they demand more information. If people feel comfortable with their decision to drink alcohol, and they are not in anyway threatened by someone else's decision not to drink alcohol. A rabbi explained this to me in college, and it has helped me quite a bit when dealing with intrusive people.
I'm allergic to alcohol and I'm always scared that someone might give me alcohol as a joke... tough times.
How bout this? Tell them the truth to begin with and they won't keep asking!
I just tell people "Alcholol always got me into more trouble than it ever got me out of".
I haveboth, friends drinking and not both get along perfectly, also kids are not the reason to drink, it means you had issues before. But funny for me is the immediate thought crossing same my hubbies and my mind- that woman FOoKIN serious looks like she needs a drink rigt now! And dont get me/us wrong.any kind of abusement is wrong.from nodespray to opiates. It's your own and hopefully sto g mind to reason witbit andfrontime to time let itgo overboard.
Caffeine is another drug to have to explain not using. But I like my Coke Zero
I so relate to this. 11 years sober, but it was hard to have an answer to why at first. Funny, but most of my friends were happier that I didn't. Except the ones that were as sloppy as I had been
Never a drop of alcohol in my life and guess what! No regrets. Not needed for any reason.
I am 40 and have never had any alcohol in my life. I come from a family of teetotallers, my parents and my grandparents before them never touched alcohol. Some of the younger members of my family do drink now but I just tell them that I know myself and I have seen in other areas I have an addictive personality so I don't want to go down that road because I know I would never be happy with one or be able to control it so why start?
Celeste, it's like we are the same person. I made the decision to stay sober 291 days ago and I have been back and forth everyday about my willingness and comfort level in talking about it. I also did it for my kids and I totally understand the need to prepare for a "social gathering" days in advance. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to know there are others in my position, as I choose not to attend support meetings of any kind (I'm doing this my way) and I have a select few that I can confide in but nobody who truly gets it.
I think she's looking too far into it. Wine and moms go hand in hand for memes, but it's not a necessity for hanging out. I've never EVER seen it be an issue for any play dates ever. Just say you don't drink and own that sh*t.
I wouldn't be judging her, I'd be judging the mom who drinks when she's at home with her kids. I raised 3 boys in the 90's and I can tell you none of us stay at home moms were sitting around drinking. We were taking care of our kids. And while there were certainly days where I felt overwhelmed and exhausted (and outnumbered) with 3 under the age of 2, drinking wasn't where my brain went. Seems if anything it would just make you more tired, who sits around drinking at a play date?
Help! How do I explain that I'm allergic to everything fermented AND that my liver doesn't produce the enzymes necessary to break down alcohol? I was born this way; it's not even a choice. There,s one problem i rarely have anymore, though....people just don,t invite me. A pleasant young man I work with was about to do so when he asked, ''So what happens to you when you do drink?''. I described the symptoms. No more invite.
I was into Straight Edge as a teenager, so I was the sober one amongst drunks. For your information, although the legal drinking age in Croatia is 18, kids start as early as 12-14. Alcohol free teenagers are very rare. So, now I'm not a heavy drinker either, I might have a glass or two, but I'm picky. I like the sweet drinks and I don't like the taste of alcohol. But the cheapest alcohol here in Korea doesn't taste to my liking, so I usually refuse it, then they think I just don't drink, and many think mine is not a drinking culture. Nope, I just don't like the taste.
If you tell them you don't drink and they have a problem with it or chastise you for it..they are the ones with a problem..not you. I was a teenager drinker..Southern Comfort was my choice drink. Then one evening..I'm getting ready to go out with my girlfriends. One pours me a drink in a big mug..half alcohol, half cola. I was encouraged to slam it down. A friend drops us off near a teen dance club. And I realized as I'm staggering down the street..."Wtf am I doing?!?" I realized every weekend with these friends was a drunk fest. I'd spend the weekend hung over and tired. I stopped hanging out with them and sobered up.
Why oh why is alcohol equated to fun? Because let’s be honest, it’s not the single glass of wine that makes it “fun”; it’s the excess, the lack of inhibitions, the giddiness, i.e., the mind-altering effects of alcohol. I won’t speak for all women but I am sure that I speak for some when I say that being around men who drink too much isn’t “fun.” It is f...ing scary, because... well... let Dr. Blasey Ford tell you.
I rarely drink but I’ve never been an alcoholic. I just don’t care enough about it to bother. This has never been a big deal, but sometimes people ask why and I just say I am not a big drinker. Mommy wine culture is trash and basic as f**k. Almost anything with the word “mommy” before it is horrendously lame. Anyway I guess when you’re an alcoholic it feels like a bigger deal to you than what it is to anyone else. And I understand that for sure. But also the line about alcohol being the only drug people pressure you about is clueless. Obviously if you’re hanging out with alcoholics (and that’s what those mommy wine women are) they will ask why you don’t drink. Go hang out with weedheads and they’d ask why someone doesn’t smoke.
Ma'am, I am so sorry that you have this struggle with other moms, but for goodness sake find some new friends. Being pressured to drink during a playdate? I have never encountered this among any friends, scattered across 7 different states. You deserve better. And please for the safety of your children, do not leave them alone on a playdate with these moms. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's child endangerment and these women need help, love and prayers if they can't get through a playdate without a cocktail. I have been out on "moms night out" events with a MOPS group but those ladies were out of control and I stopped attending the program as a result. If not already, try linking in with a women's church group. You may find some healthier mom friends that way as I have. God bless you for seeking healthier options for yourself and your family.
If your friends are willing to exclude you for not drinking, they are not your friends.
It irritates me when people feel the need to have a PSA about their minor struggle. Yes, when you don't drink, people ask why. Have an answer ready, "I just don't". If they press it, they are not the kind of people you want to hang out with anyway. But you can't freak out because someone offered you a drink and you didn't tell them you don't drink.
I understand what you are saying and can partially agree with you. But I think the PSAs help a lot of people who are not assertive or are introverts cope with something they are having issues with on a daily basis. I figure if you don't have that problem, then just ignore them and move on with your day. Everyone needs support at one time or another right?
Load More Replies...At least she has kids...try being childless and a non drinker...that makes so many people uncomfortable lol
Child-free, non-drinker AND vegetarian over here! Proud of who I am though, just waiting for the rest of the world to stop feeling personally offended by MY chosen lifestyle.
Load More Replies...Why is this even a thing?, so she chooses not to drink, well done, why the world needs to know i don't get. Drink or don't, whatever, if people don't like you for it, forget about them.
cause alco-mom did not learn anything proper and now needs to do "something"
Load More Replies...wait, is this a weird American thing? I've never even heard of moms drinking while their children are on a play date. How do you get home sober? Why is this a thing?
I think the same. Here in Europe this is not a thing, moms drink coffee and eat cake when are on a play date.
Load More Replies...I drink but I don't give a damn if my friends do or not. A no is a no. I'm still going to offer my friends alcohol, just like I offer them juice, water, milk, or soda when they come over.
I'll admit that -- even as someone who likes to have an occasional drink -- it's bizarre to see so many posts of moms/wine.
It’s like being told THIS IS THE CORRECT WAY TO COPE. Sure I am not a parent but I’m the weird 31 year old that hasn’t been drunk and only drinks a handful of times a year.
Load More Replies...Sad that she has made a simple decision and doesn't even have the confidence to tell her "friends" that she just decides not to drink. Either she doesn't have actual friends who respect her decision, or she's too hung up on how people think of her.
I think she is making the whole thing a big deal, and being weird about it, and that's how some people have reacted to it ; because like someone said in their comment, "she is not owning it". I think that she is struggling to "own it" , because she hasn't even admitted / dealt with the fact that "she had a problem", at all. I even detect a bit of deflection on her part; she feels ostracized, and judged, and it's all about how "they" are dealing with her "no drinking", and it's a distraction for her, because I bet she has not dealt with the REASON she started drinking, and got to where she didn't want to stop. I really feel for her, but she is going to struggle until she deals with the underlying reasons/issues that contributed to her "problem." I think that she is embarrassed, and ashamed, and the word "alcoholic " is a dirty word that does not apply to her-but it's not a dirty word. This strikes all kinds of people, and it knows no prejudices..I wish she would get some help...
i dont drink and get asked all the time to, or asked why i don't. Have an answer ready, no big deal.
try being sober in a society where beer is a huge cultural thing... I cannot even count how many times I have been called "weird", "not fun" or "hipster" for not drinking... and those who are saying "you are around wrong people" just don't understand there are many social situations where you just cannot choose - family gathering, work party, weddings...
Anyone saying s**t about “the wrong people” is just blaming the person who did nothing wrong. I rarely drink and nobody gives me a hard time but I don’t blame her for the fact that people give her a hard time.
Load More Replies...I am almost 39 years old, I have never drunk alcohol in my life and I do not plan to. I will proudly announce this. It's just who I am.
I know the step to get help is one of the hardest parts, but it's like a weight gets lifted off your shoulders, and you are surprised how much relief you feel. You start liking yourself again, you forgive yourself in time, and you will wish you had done it along time ago. I had to get help.....over 5 years clean and sober...
I'm sure nobody cares that she doesn't drink. Problem with being sober on the month the people that drink is that drunk people are sloppy and I'm nauseous. It's been that way my whole life I'm the non-drinker and I have to put up with the drinkers. And always the designated driver
Let me try that again the problem with being sober in the middle of people that drink it's a drunk people are sloppy and obnoxious LOL
Load More Replies...Just say no, you weak-willed human being. Not every mother out there is a alcoholic, they just want to share a drink with a friend - who the hell are you to judge them? It's useless weak people like you who just can't politely refuse instead of splay all your neurotic c**p over the Internet.
In response to Krysta Pandoo-I respectfully disagree. I don't think she is judging others. She is explaining her own struggles. It is very difficult for recovering alcoholics. It becomes clear how much of our society revolves around alcohol when you become sober. And people do ask why you aren't drinking, even when you prefer to keep your reasons private. Yes, you can say no. But it also comes with a deep internal struggle.
Load More Replies...You know what I never really thought about it but shes right. People are always so shocked when they hear that a 22 year old has never drank. Some have even tried to pressure me into drinking and I feel embarrassed when I tell them my family has a history with alcohol abuse and I don't want to become another statistic. You don't have to drink to have fun.
She looks wired, like her eyes are as wide as they will go! I think she traded wine for too much caffeine!
Almost every alcoholic does. She looks pretty to me tho.
Load More Replies...I'm 54 and have never touched a drop of alcohol (not religious, just not interested and I hate the smell). I have never had anyone push me to drink or question my decision. I think it has a lot to do with how you refuse. If you are confident and don't make a big deal out of it, they understand you are serious and leave you alone. If you act like you're conflicted and sound wishy-washy, they think you want someone to give you permission and will push. This isn't a huge thing unless you make it one. Just say, "No thanks, alcohol doesn't interest me." And, if they don't get it, tell them to move on.
I've had a drink, once, when I turned 21. Never again. I have zero reasons why just never been interested. At 40, I get more flack for not drinking from folks who drink and want a deep and personal reason why I don't drink. When I don't have one, it's on to them justifying how much they're going to drink and a guilt(?) that I'm somehow judging them. I don't like how people's internal guilt about drinking gets projected on me because I don't care what you drink and I have no idea how much wine/liqour is considered "socially unacceptable" so I can' t (and don't care to) judge what you do. This is and has always been a thing in my world.
I'm not saying you're not going through this, but you must be unlucky... I don't drink, and I live in a culture known for enjoying alcohol quite a bit. Everyone is cool with that, no questions asked. I'm not offended when someone offers me a drink, though, they're being polite. I understand that me saying yes to a glass of wine would be the most obvious thing to do. But I found that after a few instances of saying no, folks actually get juice or other drinks for me when I come over. I don't expect it, but they do. You must have very stubborn friends... and you do seem to get upset easily, to be frank.
Also, I've been the (very much appreciated) DD ever since I was a teen (I'm 38 now). I really don't mind doing it, I'd rather my friends be safe. And I still have amazing parties and evenings with them. No need for a drink.
Load More Replies...NO ONE, NO ONE, NO ONE Should ever have to explain why they do not drink!
I don’t drink and some people are surprised but rarely get negative comments and I don’t feel pressured to drink just because others are drinking. More people are shocked and react to me not drinking coffee and get called a weirdo etc. Can’t stand anything alcohol or coffee flavoured.
Look at me!!! Look at me!!! Lady no one cares about your supposed “struggle.” Don’t drink, drink, whatever. This will come as a shock to you: people don’t care about your every little move.
This will come as a shock to you, then, but there are some very rude and crude people out there. They will criticize and belittle you for being different from them. If you have never encountered this, then you are very blessed, and you should be thankful. For the rest of us, we have to constantly explain our religious backgrounds, our medical restrictions, our sobriety etc. We say, "none for me, thanks!" That should be enough, but we are pressured with the demand to explain our dietary needs. Going out for lunch with the boss? Say no to alcohol? Prepare to get a lecture from your boss about not being a team player. Going to the church choir director's house for a picnic ? Say no to beer? Prepare to be lectured about being a party pooper, and playing holier than thou.
Load More Replies...My dad was a heavy alcoholic for much of his life and I used to find empty beer bottles hidden in places around the house, but then he made the life changing decision to quit all on his own, without any coaxing from anyone or AA groups
I understand what she is talking about. My husband and I both drank for years. He just decided he didn't want to anymore. When people we partied with for years would offer him a beer, he would just say no thanks. You would have thought from their reactions that he had said he wasn't going to breath anymore. I haven't drank for years just because I got tired of it and didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't realize that people would be shocked that we didn't drink, like there was something wrong with us because we didn't drink. To each their own is how I feel about it. As long as you aren't hurting anybody then I really don't care whether you drink or not.
The only statement I can relate to is about alcohol being the only drug that we seem to have to explain why someone doesn't do it. I experienced this a lot especially when I turned 21. I would be be pressured to drink and when I would say no, people would always want an explanation. Usually, when I would say that I just don't want to, that wasn't enough of a reason for people and they would still bug me. Thankfully, now that I'm in my 30s, I don't get pressured to drink much anymore and I really haven't had to explain myself.
At 40, I still have to have the "you don't drink?" conversation/confused look from folks, especially those I'm meeting for the first time. And then the stammering follow up about what they plan on drinking. I 100% don't give a fig what the hell you plan on doing and you don't have to clear your drinking choices with me. There was a point where I used to carry soda and lime so folks would quit asking me about it, but now I just roll out with my ginger soda and walk away from folks with that "confused look" .
Load More Replies...I'm 39 and do not want kids. I also recently stopped drinking alcohol. Now I avoid going to the local bar/restaurant to socialize, because of the reactions I get when I say "I'm not drinking, thanks". OMG ARE YOU PREGNANT!?!?! is the usual annoying and inappropriate reaction from people. Then I have to get in to that topic...LOL
Why are you hanging out with people that peer pressure you to drink in the first place? If they can't take no for an answer the first time, then don't go back!
In this instance, I'm guessing it's because she said, "not right now" instead of "I don't drink." To me, the first means, "maybe later."
Load More Replies...Some of you have been very blessed, never have been ridiculed or berated for choosing to say no to alcohol. Here in the Midwest, if you say no to alcohol, (oftentimes) people demand to know why you won't drink. If you try to be vague, to protect your own privacy, they demand more information. If people feel comfortable with their decision to drink alcohol, and they are not in anyway threatened by someone else's decision not to drink alcohol. A rabbi explained this to me in college, and it has helped me quite a bit when dealing with intrusive people.
I'm allergic to alcohol and I'm always scared that someone might give me alcohol as a joke... tough times.
How bout this? Tell them the truth to begin with and they won't keep asking!
I just tell people "Alcholol always got me into more trouble than it ever got me out of".
I haveboth, friends drinking and not both get along perfectly, also kids are not the reason to drink, it means you had issues before. But funny for me is the immediate thought crossing same my hubbies and my mind- that woman FOoKIN serious looks like she needs a drink rigt now! And dont get me/us wrong.any kind of abusement is wrong.from nodespray to opiates. It's your own and hopefully sto g mind to reason witbit andfrontime to time let itgo overboard.
Caffeine is another drug to have to explain not using. But I like my Coke Zero
I so relate to this. 11 years sober, but it was hard to have an answer to why at first. Funny, but most of my friends were happier that I didn't. Except the ones that were as sloppy as I had been
Never a drop of alcohol in my life and guess what! No regrets. Not needed for any reason.
I am 40 and have never had any alcohol in my life. I come from a family of teetotallers, my parents and my grandparents before them never touched alcohol. Some of the younger members of my family do drink now but I just tell them that I know myself and I have seen in other areas I have an addictive personality so I don't want to go down that road because I know I would never be happy with one or be able to control it so why start?
Celeste, it's like we are the same person. I made the decision to stay sober 291 days ago and I have been back and forth everyday about my willingness and comfort level in talking about it. I also did it for my kids and I totally understand the need to prepare for a "social gathering" days in advance. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to know there are others in my position, as I choose not to attend support meetings of any kind (I'm doing this my way) and I have a select few that I can confide in but nobody who truly gets it.
I think she's looking too far into it. Wine and moms go hand in hand for memes, but it's not a necessity for hanging out. I've never EVER seen it be an issue for any play dates ever. Just say you don't drink and own that sh*t.
I wouldn't be judging her, I'd be judging the mom who drinks when she's at home with her kids. I raised 3 boys in the 90's and I can tell you none of us stay at home moms were sitting around drinking. We were taking care of our kids. And while there were certainly days where I felt overwhelmed and exhausted (and outnumbered) with 3 under the age of 2, drinking wasn't where my brain went. Seems if anything it would just make you more tired, who sits around drinking at a play date?
Help! How do I explain that I'm allergic to everything fermented AND that my liver doesn't produce the enzymes necessary to break down alcohol? I was born this way; it's not even a choice. There,s one problem i rarely have anymore, though....people just don,t invite me. A pleasant young man I work with was about to do so when he asked, ''So what happens to you when you do drink?''. I described the symptoms. No more invite.
I was into Straight Edge as a teenager, so I was the sober one amongst drunks. For your information, although the legal drinking age in Croatia is 18, kids start as early as 12-14. Alcohol free teenagers are very rare. So, now I'm not a heavy drinker either, I might have a glass or two, but I'm picky. I like the sweet drinks and I don't like the taste of alcohol. But the cheapest alcohol here in Korea doesn't taste to my liking, so I usually refuse it, then they think I just don't drink, and many think mine is not a drinking culture. Nope, I just don't like the taste.
If you tell them you don't drink and they have a problem with it or chastise you for it..they are the ones with a problem..not you. I was a teenager drinker..Southern Comfort was my choice drink. Then one evening..I'm getting ready to go out with my girlfriends. One pours me a drink in a big mug..half alcohol, half cola. I was encouraged to slam it down. A friend drops us off near a teen dance club. And I realized as I'm staggering down the street..."Wtf am I doing?!?" I realized every weekend with these friends was a drunk fest. I'd spend the weekend hung over and tired. I stopped hanging out with them and sobered up.
Why oh why is alcohol equated to fun? Because let’s be honest, it’s not the single glass of wine that makes it “fun”; it’s the excess, the lack of inhibitions, the giddiness, i.e., the mind-altering effects of alcohol. I won’t speak for all women but I am sure that I speak for some when I say that being around men who drink too much isn’t “fun.” It is f...ing scary, because... well... let Dr. Blasey Ford tell you.
I rarely drink but I’ve never been an alcoholic. I just don’t care enough about it to bother. This has never been a big deal, but sometimes people ask why and I just say I am not a big drinker. Mommy wine culture is trash and basic as f**k. Almost anything with the word “mommy” before it is horrendously lame. Anyway I guess when you’re an alcoholic it feels like a bigger deal to you than what it is to anyone else. And I understand that for sure. But also the line about alcohol being the only drug people pressure you about is clueless. Obviously if you’re hanging out with alcoholics (and that’s what those mommy wine women are) they will ask why you don’t drink. Go hang out with weedheads and they’d ask why someone doesn’t smoke.
Ma'am, I am so sorry that you have this struggle with other moms, but for goodness sake find some new friends. Being pressured to drink during a playdate? I have never encountered this among any friends, scattered across 7 different states. You deserve better. And please for the safety of your children, do not leave them alone on a playdate with these moms. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's child endangerment and these women need help, love and prayers if they can't get through a playdate without a cocktail. I have been out on "moms night out" events with a MOPS group but those ladies were out of control and I stopped attending the program as a result. If not already, try linking in with a women's church group. You may find some healthier mom friends that way as I have. God bless you for seeking healthier options for yourself and your family.
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