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Family Turns On Woman When She Refuses To Rearrange Her Home To Accommodate Homeless Brother And SIL
Woman expressing frustration and shock, reacting to entitled behavior while trying to help her brother and his wife
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Family Turns On Woman When She Refuses To Rearrange Her Home To Accommodate Homeless Brother And SIL

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Family is often the first place we turn in hard times. They’re usually the ones we hope will step in and offer support, and that’s something many of us feel deeply grateful for.

So when this Redditor’s brother and his wife could no longer afford their home, she opened her doors and let them move in to live with her for free. But instead of appreciating the help, they threw a fit over the size of the room they were given and followed it up with a stream of rude remarks.

Unsurprisingly, the woman eventually snapped. Read her full story below.

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    The woman kindly offered to let her brother and SIL move into her home when they could no longer afford theirs

    Young woman helping her brother and his wife by carrying a box of plants into their home showing family support and care.

    Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)

    But instead of being grateful, they threw a fit over the size of the room they were given

    Woman tries to help her brother and his wife by offering a place to stay but faces entitled behavior from them.

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    Text showing a woman tries to help her brother and his wife but faces entitled behavior regarding furniture storage.

    Text excerpt showing a woman trying to help her brother and his wife, facing entitled behavior complaints about a small room.

    Alt text: Woman tries to help her brother and his wife, facing unexpected and entitled family behavior during a tense moment.

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    Woman tries to help her brother and his wife but faces their entitled behavior over a spare room dispute.

    Text excerpt showing a woman confronting her brother and his wife about moving belongings into a spare bedroom.

    Text excerpt showing a woman explaining why she won’t move her son’s crib to accommodate her brother and his wife’s demands.

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    Woman tries to help her brother and his wife but faces entitled and difficult behavior causing family tension.

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    Text excerpt about a woman trying to help her brother and his wife, facing entitled behavior complaints about her baby.

    Woman experiences entitled behavior from brother and his wife while trying to help with living arrangements and baby care.

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    Screenshot of a text about a woman facing entitled behavior from her brother after trying to help him and his wife.

    Woman tries to help her brother and his wife but faces entitlement and unexpected behavior from them.

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    Text excerpt showing a woman confronting her brother and his entitled behavior while trying to help them.

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    Angry woman expressing frustration and shocked by entitled behavior while trying to help her brother and his wife.

    Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)

    Text excerpt showing a woman trying to help her brother and his wife, encountering entitled behavior about bedroom arrangements.

    Text excerpt highlighting a woman helping her brother and his wife and dealing with their entitled behavior.

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    Text update showing woman tries to help her brother and his wife, facing entitled behavior, discussing next steps with boyfriend.

    Image source: anon

    Setting boundaries with family can feel deeply triggering

    Image credits: Brock Wegner (not the actual photo)

    It can be baffling to be on the receiving end of ungrateful behavior. When you do something kind for someone, the least you expect in return is a simple thank-you, not criticism and demands, like the woman in this story faced.

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    This wasn’t a small favor, either. She let her brother and his wife move into her home for free, which is a huge gesture. So when that generosity is met with entitlement instead of appreciation, it can leave a deep emotional sting.

    At the same time, it may seem strange to some that the woman did not immediately tell the couple to leave after all their rude remarks. But family dynamics are rarely simple. With relatives, logic often takes a backseat.

    There is often a strong sense of responsibility to help, and that urge can remain even when the situation becomes uncomfortable. Obligation and the fear of being labeled “selfish” can distort how clearly we see what is happening.

    As Sharon Martin, DSW, LCSW, explains in Psychology Today, setting boundaries with family can be deeply triggering because it often reactivates old emotional wounds.

    “A specific tone of voice, a hot-button issue, or even a smirk or eye roll can transport us back to a time when we felt unsafe, unheard, or unloved by our families,” she says. When someone grows up in an environment marked by guilt or constant pressure, learning to say no later in life can feel threatening, even if the boundary is reasonable.

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    Martin also points to enmeshment as a common issue in families where personal space is blurred. In these dynamics, individuality is often sacrificed for the sake of unity, and separating your needs from the family’s can feel like betrayal.

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    Many people are conditioned to believe that family must always come first, even if doing so harms their well-being. As a result, enforcing limits can trigger anxiety and an intense fear of conflict.

    What setting healthy boundaries actually looks like

    Image credits: Natalia Blauth (not the actual photo)

    Rachel Zoffness, PhD, also writing for Psychology Today, emphasizes that the first step in setting boundaries is recognizing your own worth. “You’re important and deserve to be treated well,” she says.

    If time with certain people consistently leaves you drained, it is worth reconsidering how much access they should have to your life. Allowing yourself to prioritize your own well-being does not make you cruel. It makes you honest.

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    Zoffness also stresses the importance of knowing your triggers in advance. Being aware of what sets off strong emotional reactions allows you to prepare your response instead of reacting on impulse.

    Clear communication is equally important. Identifying your boundaries ahead of time and stating them calmly can prevent confusion and resentment from building. And while saying no can feel uncomfortable at first, practicing it helps restore a sense of personal control and confidence.

    Finally, she encourages having coping strategies ready for emotionally charged situations. Whether that means taking a walk, calling a trusted friend, writing things down, or stepping away entirely, those tools make it easier to hold your ground when emotions run high.

    In the end, it’s reassuring to see that the author of the story chose to speak up about how her houseguests were treating her family and began considering asking them to move out, despite the pressure coming from other relatives. It’s a reminder that while helping others is important, it should never come at the expense of our own peace of mind.

    Readers felt the couple’s behavior was completely unacceptable and believed they no longer deserved to stay

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing entitled behavior of a brother and his wife during a family conflict.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment about entitled behavior when a woman tries to help her brother and his wife.

    Comment discussing entitled behavior from a brother and his wife when a woman tries to help them.

    Comment discussing entitled behavior and family tension as a woman tries to help her brother and his wife in a shared living situation.

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    Comment discussing a woman trying to help her brother and his wife, facing insults and physical aggression from them.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing entitled behavior during a family help situation involving a woman and her brother.

    Comment discussing entitled behavior of brother and his wife while staying in woman's house, showing ungratefulness.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman helping her brother and his wife facing entitled behavior.

    Text comment on a social media post showing frustration as a woman tries to help her brother and his wife amid their entitled behavior.

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    Text from a woman helping her brother and his wife, describing their entitled behavior and disrespect in her home.

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    Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman helping her brother and his wife and their entitled behavior.

    Comment discussing entitled behavior of brother and his wife while woman tries to help them during a tough time.

    Comment from anon advising a woman dealing with entitled behavior from her brother and his wife, suggesting she set boundaries firmly.

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    Screenshot of an online comment discussing entitled behavior while a woman tries to help her brother and his wife.

    Reddit comment discussing entitled behavior of brother and his wife when woman tries to help them at her home.

    Comment on a forum about a woman helping her brother and his wife facing entitled behavior and ungratefulness.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a woman helping her brother and his entitled wife, facing passive aggressive behavior.

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    Comment discussing a woman’s experience trying to help her brother and his wife, facing entitled behavior.

    Screenshot of a user comment reacting to entitled behavior when a woman tries to help her brother and his wife.

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    Comment about entitlement and disrespect from woman trying to help her brother and his wife in a rooming situation.

    Comment discussing entitled behavior of a woman’s brother and his wife after she tries to help them.

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    Reddit comment expressing concern over woman helping brother and sister-in-law, facing entitled behavior and conflict.

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    Commenter discussing a woman trying to help her brother and his wife, noting entitled behavior with a strong reaction.

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    Comment discussing entitled behavior of brother and sister-in-law toward woman trying to help them.

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

    What do you think ?
    deano sweat
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    from the original thread The general summary from what I can recall is the SIL found the post before OP and her boyfriend finished discussing how to get them to leave. SIL bursts into their room, starts acting insane, attacks OP. Boyfriend stops the SIL from harming OP. Brother sees what boyfriend is doing and attacks him. During the attack OP has been shoved several times, while holding her son. They call the police. Police takes them and tests all of them for d***s as a standard procedure. Turns out the SIL and brother tested positive for d***s, which OP was unaware of. Her family unfortunately knew about their problem and never disclosed it with her. So that was the general gist of the whole situation. The whole situation is upsetting in my opinion because of how her mother and family membermade it look like she was the bad guy for not giving them the room when in reality their judgement in not informing her that the brother and SIL had a d**g problem put her whole family at risk.

    Load More Replies...
    Kkg
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is crazy entitled. Least she could do is to move herself, her boyfriend and the baby to the smallest room, to not disturb the brother. Better yet if she rented a whole house for the 2 of them. If she cannot afford, she should downsize her own apartment. Who needs 3 bedrooms for 2 adults and a baby, anyway? /S

    Spocks's Mom
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just don't know why she doesn't move herself and family into the shed and let them have the whole house.

    Load More Replies...
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If mom is so concerned, she can let them stay with her. They forgot the old saying "beggars can't be choosers". The brother and his wife should see how they enjoy the homeless shelter.

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, as soon as they started getting pissy during move in, I would have said this isn't going to work. I know they were in a distressed state, but if they weren't appreciative then it wasn't going to get better...

    Onan Hag All
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just tell them to fu.ck off and be done with them.

    Trashy Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can tell from herw that the brother is the golden child

    Day Andie
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smells like it to me, too. That update that deano sweat is just wild! The OP must be a saint, because the first body check from the GF would have gotten her kicked out on her a*s, and brother along with her.

    Load More Replies...
    Michelle C
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WOW...I would've shut that noise down when they were complaining after being told they need to get a storage unit. They obviously have no concept of the phrase "beggars can't be choosers" especially when the beggars can't hold a job or keep a roof over their heads. And I tell you what...the police would've been called if that SIL shoulder checked me in my own d**n house. Not because I was scared but because I whooped her a*s. She touched me first, I defended myself, I want them removed and a trespass order to ensure they don't come back. I do scorched earth with people like that. Blood or not I don't need that energy in my life. After the first ungrateful complaint I would've backed out, offer them a few bucks for a one star hotel, and wish them luck.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do they realize that beggars can't be choosers? Do they realize how big an imposition it it to move in with a couple that have a small baby?

    A Jones
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, they cried to their mother when they complained about a baby crying. Ironic

    Emilu
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprised there isn't more YTAs, because we all know some people are clueless. The OP and her partner are doing her sister and BIL a favour. If they don't like it, they can f‍uck off to the nearest... whatever. Who cares. They can just generally fu‍ck off if they don't like the (free!!!) stay they're getting.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They would be out of my house in a New York minute. Three guesses on who the Golden Child is here and the first two don't count.

    Queenie B
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your family are a bunch of pin heads. I would kindly kick brother and wife to the curb. You don't owe them anything. They are rude and entitled.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The term in psychology your brother was showing is called projection-an unconscious defense mechanism where an individual attributes their own unacceptable feelings, thoughts, or impulses to another person or group. Also entitled much?

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought this whole thing was bad fiction because it was over the top and nonsensical but another commenter posting the update which said the brother and SIL were on d***s, which I guess explains things.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Id be scrubbing my SIL toilets not "shoulder check

    megabeth
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    checking" her. Oy I need a new phone! And will someone teach me how to edit!

    Load More Replies...
    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the most obvious NTA cases I've ever seen.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You’d honk so, but her entire family thinks she’s an аsshole for this, likely because they themselves don’t wanna house junkies. It’s gotta be waaay confusing when you KNOW you’re not being an аsshole but everyone in your life disagrees vehemently with you.

    Load More Replies...
    Southie
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only reason mom and other family call op selfish is they don't want to have the brother move in on them. Get rid of them...With his attitude I can see why he lost his job.

    Betsy S
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Happy that someone actually posted, explaining the term "entitled" and using it correctly for a change. So many people get their knickers in a twist about a perfectly benign word and try to make it mean something insulting when it isn't. OVERLY-ENTITLED is an insult. Everyone is entitled to the things they are entitled to, such as something they've earned, respect, consideration, you know, the things that make life work. Entitlement is just that. Something you're entitled to. What people should be saying when they're complaining about someone being self-important is that they have an overinflated sense of entitlement, or they are overly-entitled. Regular entitlement is the standard for all.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And this is a problem why? Please explain it to me slowly without using big words so I can understand. I know this is a ginormous problem for you, but I don’t understand why that is. (I’m dumb that way.) Please help me understand, and remember to type slowly so I can keep up!

    Load More Replies...
    deano sweat
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    from the original thread The general summary from what I can recall is the SIL found the post before OP and her boyfriend finished discussing how to get them to leave. SIL bursts into their room, starts acting insane, attacks OP. Boyfriend stops the SIL from harming OP. Brother sees what boyfriend is doing and attacks him. During the attack OP has been shoved several times, while holding her son. They call the police. Police takes them and tests all of them for d***s as a standard procedure. Turns out the SIL and brother tested positive for d***s, which OP was unaware of. Her family unfortunately knew about their problem and never disclosed it with her. So that was the general gist of the whole situation. The whole situation is upsetting in my opinion because of how her mother and family membermade it look like she was the bad guy for not giving them the room when in reality their judgement in not informing her that the brother and SIL had a d**g problem put her whole family at risk.

    Load More Replies...
    Kkg
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is crazy entitled. Least she could do is to move herself, her boyfriend and the baby to the smallest room, to not disturb the brother. Better yet if she rented a whole house for the 2 of them. If she cannot afford, she should downsize her own apartment. Who needs 3 bedrooms for 2 adults and a baby, anyway? /S

    Spocks's Mom
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just don't know why she doesn't move herself and family into the shed and let them have the whole house.

    Load More Replies...
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If mom is so concerned, she can let them stay with her. They forgot the old saying "beggars can't be choosers". The brother and his wife should see how they enjoy the homeless shelter.

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, as soon as they started getting pissy during move in, I would have said this isn't going to work. I know they were in a distressed state, but if they weren't appreciative then it wasn't going to get better...

    Onan Hag All
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just tell them to fu.ck off and be done with them.

    Trashy Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can tell from herw that the brother is the golden child

    Day Andie
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smells like it to me, too. That update that deano sweat is just wild! The OP must be a saint, because the first body check from the GF would have gotten her kicked out on her a*s, and brother along with her.

    Load More Replies...
    Michelle C
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WOW...I would've shut that noise down when they were complaining after being told they need to get a storage unit. They obviously have no concept of the phrase "beggars can't be choosers" especially when the beggars can't hold a job or keep a roof over their heads. And I tell you what...the police would've been called if that SIL shoulder checked me in my own d**n house. Not because I was scared but because I whooped her a*s. She touched me first, I defended myself, I want them removed and a trespass order to ensure they don't come back. I do scorched earth with people like that. Blood or not I don't need that energy in my life. After the first ungrateful complaint I would've backed out, offer them a few bucks for a one star hotel, and wish them luck.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do they realize that beggars can't be choosers? Do they realize how big an imposition it it to move in with a couple that have a small baby?

    A Jones
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, they cried to their mother when they complained about a baby crying. Ironic

    Emilu
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprised there isn't more YTAs, because we all know some people are clueless. The OP and her partner are doing her sister and BIL a favour. If they don't like it, they can f‍uck off to the nearest... whatever. Who cares. They can just generally fu‍ck off if they don't like the (free!!!) stay they're getting.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They would be out of my house in a New York minute. Three guesses on who the Golden Child is here and the first two don't count.

    Queenie B
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your family are a bunch of pin heads. I would kindly kick brother and wife to the curb. You don't owe them anything. They are rude and entitled.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The term in psychology your brother was showing is called projection-an unconscious defense mechanism where an individual attributes their own unacceptable feelings, thoughts, or impulses to another person or group. Also entitled much?

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought this whole thing was bad fiction because it was over the top and nonsensical but another commenter posting the update which said the brother and SIL were on d***s, which I guess explains things.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Id be scrubbing my SIL toilets not "shoulder check

    megabeth
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    checking" her. Oy I need a new phone! And will someone teach me how to edit!

    Load More Replies...
    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the most obvious NTA cases I've ever seen.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You’d honk so, but her entire family thinks she’s an аsshole for this, likely because they themselves don’t wanna house junkies. It’s gotta be waaay confusing when you KNOW you’re not being an аsshole but everyone in your life disagrees vehemently with you.

    Load More Replies...
    Southie
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only reason mom and other family call op selfish is they don't want to have the brother move in on them. Get rid of them...With his attitude I can see why he lost his job.

    Betsy S
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Happy that someone actually posted, explaining the term "entitled" and using it correctly for a change. So many people get their knickers in a twist about a perfectly benign word and try to make it mean something insulting when it isn't. OVERLY-ENTITLED is an insult. Everyone is entitled to the things they are entitled to, such as something they've earned, respect, consideration, you know, the things that make life work. Entitlement is just that. Something you're entitled to. What people should be saying when they're complaining about someone being self-important is that they have an overinflated sense of entitlement, or they are overly-entitled. Regular entitlement is the standard for all.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And this is a problem why? Please explain it to me slowly without using big words so I can understand. I know this is a ginormous problem for you, but I don’t understand why that is. (I’m dumb that way.) Please help me understand, and remember to type slowly so I can keep up!

    Load More Replies...
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