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Person Baffled As Sis Pretends They Don’t Exist For Years, Parents Keep Gaslighting Them About It
We’ve all been ghosted before whether it was by dates, friends, maybe even that one group chat that suddenly went silent after you posted a meme. However, what seems a bit far-fetched is being ghosted by your own sibling, for ten years, with zero explanation.
This is the unfortunate reality of today’s Original Poster (OP) who woke up one day to realize their sibling had decided they no longer exist. Already completely baffled about what could have gone wrong, they are left even more baffled after their parents responses.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
When your own sibling erases you from their life, it leaves a hollow mix of confusion, hurt, and disbelief that no amount of time seems to fix
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author noted that their sister has been acting like they don’t exist even though the last time they were together, they were celebrating her birthday
Image credits: C0c0mademoiselle
Image credits: cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Shortly after the birthday, the sister suggested hanging out but never followed through, beginning a decade-long silence
Image credits: C0c0mademoiselle
Image credits: Huiwhere / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Over the years, the sister stayed in touch with other siblings but completely ignored them, even blocking them on Instagram
Image credits: C0c0mademoiselle
The parents insist the sister still “cares” and “loves” them but actions like hiding her address make the estrangement confusing and painful for them
The OP explained that their sister has completely ignored them for a decade. However, what was baffling was that the last time they spoke, everything seemed fine. They had celebrated the sister’s birthday together, and she’d suggested hanging out afterward even though it never happened. Instead, she quietly disappeared from their life without warning, contact, or reason.
Now, the OP recently discovered they’d been blocked on Instagram after their mom tried to share a post and it didn’t show up. What makes it more frustrating for them was that their parents keep insisting that the estranged sister “loves”, “cares deeply” and “asks about them all the time” despite clear signs of avoidance even going as far as hiding her new address from them.
That contradiction has now left the OP feeling gaslighted, and after ten years of silence, they wonder if it’s worth reaching out to confront the situation, or if that would just reopen old wounds.
According to LMFT Kelsi McMartin, sibling estrangement occurs when brothers or sisters go at least six months without any meaningful communication. While ordinary sibling relationships can include disagreements or competition for parental attention, estrangement is a sustained and intentional lack of interaction.
Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Health Central provides more insight into sibling estrangement and explain that it can stem from a mix of deep-rooted emotional and environmental factors. Childhood experiences like rivalry, resentment, or parental favoritism often plant the early seeds of division. As siblings grow, differences in personality or attachment styles can further strain communication.
They also note that major life events such as trauma, mistreatment, loss, or mental illness may intensify these fractures, while toxic family dynamics involving manipulation, criticism, and power imbalances keep them alive.
Building on this, Sibling Estrangement highlights that parental gaslighting can play a major role in driving siblings apart. They explain that when parents distort or deny reality, they create confusion and mistrust within the family, and that over time, gaslit siblings may start to doubt their own experiences and memories, leading to resentment, fractured communication, and ultimately estrangement.
Netizens sympathized deeply with the OP’s pain, agreeing that the situation feels “cruel and diabolical”, and urging them to accept that some relationships can’t be fixed. Others, however, questioned the family dynamics behind the silence, suggesting that the parents might even playing a part in the estrangement.
What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you reach out for closure or to let go in peace? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens expressed sympathy for the author, but suggested that their parents might be playing a part in the estrangement
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What do you think ?
Kate Johnson 2 months ago
I'm a firm believer in not chasing after something that is dead. It's just a waste of time. I would go on ignoring her blocking and just forget she exists entirely. DNA does not a family make.
Emilu 2 months ago
Agree. I'm adopted so probably bias in this respect, but blood does not equal a relationship, let alone deeming somebody 'family'. Being related by blood does *not* mean that the so-called 'family' deserves second chances. Please, OP. I know it's hard, but do it for yourself and cut these plebs loose. You won't get anything from them. You know that; we know that. Cut your losses, make yourself less miserable and tell these jerks where to go. They deserve that (at the least) and you deserve much better.
Load More Replies...
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
As one commenter said, if this is really bothering her she has nothing to lose by asking her sister what the deal is. Even if the question's not answered, at least she reached out and asked.
Joey Marlin 2 months ago
Not sure I'd want to give her the satisfaction of thinking it mattered, but maybe it's worth it to her. However, the sister seems unlikely to want to satisfy her curiosity. I think her best bet is to just accept the situation and do what she can to come to terms with it. Families can be odd things, unfortunately!!
Load More Replies...
Claire Nichols 2 months ago
Oh hun… this is sad and hurtful. Her behaviour is not acceptable. It’s going to hurt no matter what you decide to do. My advice is to just let it go. In the long term it’s going to hurt her more than you. Just let her go. If your family are gaslighting you… then you need to rethink your relationship with them also. Yes family are blood, however, they should never make you feel less than.
The Big Bad 2 months ago
It's not worth it. Keep your sanity by focussing on the ones who (actively) show they love you. If you reach out it will definitely unleash drama if she reacts or bitterness when she doesn't. However, you can just be open to her when she'll come to you one day. And I'd totally stop asking or saying anything about her to your folks about her, sounds like they're in the awkward middle. Remove your side from this weird fictional drama your sister invented.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
I needed to see this. I added a childhood friend on social media a year ago. Her brother had died; I said sorry for your loss. And when I went to look her up about a week ago, no social media presence that I can find. She's been through a lot, from childhood. Her husband is a toxic POS who I don't really think likes women. There's more, but as much as I love M, we have drifted apart and I have no idea what her life is like. And if she doesn't want to be found, so be it. Like people here said, I'm not chasing. I just wish her well and hope she's happy.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Spending more time and effort figuring it out definitely isn't worth it. Parents just don't want to admit theres an issue so they don't have to get involved. it depends on what kind of relationship OP wants with the rest of her family, if she should call out the gaslighting or just know that that's what they are doing. It is very possible the parents are the source of the issue and have gaslit the other sister into hating OP. I would recommend just going LC with the whole family. But if you want more, you have to call out the gaslighting. Accpeting the sister's decision for LC/NC is the only option. To paraphrase Wayne Campbell, you can't have a relationship with someone who isn't is a relationship with you. But that doesn't mean the people still in contact can lie to you without push back.
M Calad 2 months ago
I had a friend who experienced this. Her brother cut ties with her and didn't talk to her for 10 years, even pretending she didn't exist and ignoring her completely in family gatherings. She didn't know why but respected his decision, attributing it to a bad personal decision she made back then. Recently he reached out to her. He was in therapy and his therapist recommended to heal old wounds. So he finally told her why he cut ties: he had been in a horrible legal battle (almost sent to prison) with my friend's exbf without her knowledge and all this time the ex made her brother believe it was all her doing. And her brother believed the ex (?) and never questioned his own sister in 10 years! Also, he never told the family of the issue due to shame. Absolutely crazy.
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
I’d give em ONCE CHANCE !!like right what the f is this non issue you appear to have hating me ? What did I do wrong 🤷♀️personally I don’t care anymore ,but I’d like to know ,before I to want nothing more to do with you , YOU MUST HAVE A REASON LADY ? but then I’m a straight talking take no c**p kinda person , I expect it back ! no lies no gaslighting been there in marriages!, would t tolerate it from family hell no !! ( thank god I cut mine out my life at 16 ,saw em for a few mths at 20 nah not worth it lo l) in ops case THERE MUST BE A REASON !! and she deserves to know it , but I’d would then say right thank you for telling me ,now it’s my turn , n let Rip ,n tell all of them to go f em selves ur done with the toxic !!! no one needs toxic in their lives NO ONE ! Update please op we need to know !!
Kate Johnson 2 months ago
I'm a firm believer in not chasing after something that is dead. It's just a waste of time. I would go on ignoring her blocking and just forget she exists entirely. DNA does not a family make.
Emilu 2 months ago
Agree. I'm adopted so probably bias in this respect, but blood does not equal a relationship, let alone deeming somebody 'family'. Being related by blood does *not* mean that the so-called 'family' deserves second chances. Please, OP. I know it's hard, but do it for yourself and cut these plebs loose. You won't get anything from them. You know that; we know that. Cut your losses, make yourself less miserable and tell these jerks where to go. They deserve that (at the least) and you deserve much better.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
As one commenter said, if this is really bothering her she has nothing to lose by asking her sister what the deal is. Even if the question's not answered, at least she reached out and asked.
Joey Marlin 2 months ago
Not sure I'd want to give her the satisfaction of thinking it mattered, but maybe it's worth it to her. However, the sister seems unlikely to want to satisfy her curiosity. I think her best bet is to just accept the situation and do what she can to come to terms with it. Families can be odd things, unfortunately!!
Load More Replies... Claire Nichols 2 months ago
Oh hun… this is sad and hurtful. Her behaviour is not acceptable. It’s going to hurt no matter what you decide to do. My advice is to just let it go. In the long term it’s going to hurt her more than you. Just let her go. If your family are gaslighting you… then you need to rethink your relationship with them also. Yes family are blood, however, they should never make you feel less than.
The Big Bad 2 months ago
It's not worth it. Keep your sanity by focussing on the ones who (actively) show they love you. If you reach out it will definitely unleash drama if she reacts or bitterness when she doesn't. However, you can just be open to her when she'll come to you one day. And I'd totally stop asking or saying anything about her to your folks about her, sounds like they're in the awkward middle. Remove your side from this weird fictional drama your sister invented.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
I needed to see this. I added a childhood friend on social media a year ago. Her brother had died; I said sorry for your loss. And when I went to look her up about a week ago, no social media presence that I can find. She's been through a lot, from childhood. Her husband is a toxic POS who I don't really think likes women. There's more, but as much as I love M, we have drifted apart and I have no idea what her life is like. And if she doesn't want to be found, so be it. Like people here said, I'm not chasing. I just wish her well and hope she's happy.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Spending more time and effort figuring it out definitely isn't worth it. Parents just don't want to admit theres an issue so they don't have to get involved. it depends on what kind of relationship OP wants with the rest of her family, if she should call out the gaslighting or just know that that's what they are doing. It is very possible the parents are the source of the issue and have gaslit the other sister into hating OP. I would recommend just going LC with the whole family. But if you want more, you have to call out the gaslighting. Accpeting the sister's decision for LC/NC is the only option. To paraphrase Wayne Campbell, you can't have a relationship with someone who isn't is a relationship with you. But that doesn't mean the people still in contact can lie to you without push back.
M Calad 2 months ago
I had a friend who experienced this. Her brother cut ties with her and didn't talk to her for 10 years, even pretending she didn't exist and ignoring her completely in family gatherings. She didn't know why but respected his decision, attributing it to a bad personal decision she made back then. Recently he reached out to her. He was in therapy and his therapist recommended to heal old wounds. So he finally told her why he cut ties: he had been in a horrible legal battle (almost sent to prison) with my friend's exbf without her knowledge and all this time the ex made her brother believe it was all her doing. And her brother believed the ex (?) and never questioned his own sister in 10 years! Also, he never told the family of the issue due to shame. Absolutely crazy.
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
I’d give em ONCE CHANCE !!like right what the f is this non issue you appear to have hating me ? What did I do wrong 🤷♀️personally I don’t care anymore ,but I’d like to know ,before I to want nothing more to do with you , YOU MUST HAVE A REASON LADY ? but then I’m a straight talking take no c**p kinda person , I expect it back ! no lies no gaslighting been there in marriages!, would t tolerate it from family hell no !! ( thank god I cut mine out my life at 16 ,saw em for a few mths at 20 nah not worth it lo l) in ops case THERE MUST BE A REASON !! and she deserves to know it , but I’d would then say right thank you for telling me ,now it’s my turn , n let Rip ,n tell all of them to go f em selves ur done with the toxic !!! no one needs toxic in their lives NO ONE ! Update please op we need to know !!
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