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Gentle Parent Lets Her Kids Do Whatever They Want, Sis Kicks Them Out Without A Second Thought
Every generation of adults seems to parent their children differently based on what they learn from folks around them and, in recent times, even from online trends. One such concept, that many people have been warming up to, is gentle parenting, but it can quickly go wrong if the adults are too permissive.
This is what one woman discovered after her sister stayed over with her kids and let them destroy furniture, all because of her gentle parenting ideals. Eventually, the woman couldn’t take it and blew up at her sibling.
More info: Reddit
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When parents don’t set rules for young children, it can lead to a lot of problems and reckless behavior
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she had let her elder sister, brother-in-law, and their kids stay with her for two weeks while their apartment was being treated for mold
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Things soon became tough since the older sister believed in gentle parenting and let her children run wild, throw their toys, smear yogurt on walls, and misbehave
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Eventually, the poster couldn’t take it anymore and insulted her sister’s gentle parenting ideals after her son poured orange juice on the rug
Image credits: EggSheeran33
The older sister felt hurt by her sibling’s words and decided to leave, which the poster felt glad about until her mom called her insensitive
When the OP helped her elder sibling and her family out by allowing them to move into her house for two weeks, she didn’t think anything could really go wrong. That was until she realized how much her sister believed in gentle parenting and was unwilling to correct her children’s wrong or destructive behavior.
Many adults who believe in this concept often get caught up in being empathetic toward their little ones and forget that they are also supposed to set consequences for wrong behavior. According to psychologists, gentle parenting should be about building a strong connection with one’s kids while also disciplining them.
Unfortunately, the older sister had probably skipped that chapter on being a gentle parent, which is why she was extremely permissive with her little ones. She didn’t bat an eye when they jumped on the couch, threw their toys around, smeared food on the walls, and even poured orange juice on the couch.
This kind of laid-back attitude is not actually what gentle parenting is about, as research states that adults should set clear boundaries for their children’s behavior as early as possible. They need to actively teach the young ones right from wrong instead of only standing back and being an observer.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
At first, the poster tried to ignore the bad behavior of her niblings, but she reached her boiling point as more and more of her stuff got destroyed. That’s when she spoke to her nephew about his actions, but her elder sister got mad at her for doing that and shushed her for disrupting “his autonomy.”
What the other woman probably didn’t realize is that studies have shown how gentle parenting strategies are only effective up to a certain point and might not work for more challenging behavior. When children behave unruly or aggressively, adults might struggle with the gentle approach and may need sterner strategies.
In fact, experts state that giving children logical consequences for their actions can actually positively impact behavior and mental health. This means that if a kid has made a mess, they should be made to clean it up, or if they hurt another child, they should be directed to get them a Band-Aid. This will help kids connect the dots between actions and outcomes.
In this case, the OP tried to confront her sister about her parenting style because she felt that her niblings weren’t being disciplined properly. Unfortunately, this didn’t go down well with the other woman, and she felt so insulted that she and her family left earlier than planned and stopped talking to the poster.
Whose side are you on in this situation? Do share your honest thoughts on this story in the comments below.
Most people sided with the poster and felt that her sister was failing her children by letting their bad behavior slide
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What do you think ?
lenka 2 weeks ago
For the record - this is NOT GENTLE PARENTING. This is permissive parenting. Gentle parenting relies quite heavily on consistent boundaries. This means setting clear, age-appropriate rules and boundaries and enforcing them with calm, consistent guidance. It does not mean letting a child trash your house. An example of a gentle parenting response to pouring juice on the rug might be to explain why we dont ruin other people's belongings (empathy), make him help me clean the rug (natural consequence), and then suggest a more appropriate place/way for the dinosaurs to have a lake (i.e. outiside) (redirect).
Nilsen 2 weeks ago
Came to say that. "Do not - because -" is the normal gentle way. Don't hit because that hurts, don't destroy because people will be sad, with age appropriate explanations. Asking about the melt downs that happens because the child is three and the world is difficult to understand would be normal.
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KatSaidThat 2 weeks ago
Can't wait for these kids to arrive at school and have real life smash them in the brain with how it ACTUALLY works and what happens when you trash someone else's property. Enjoy your grandkids, grandma. Maybe lock away the china.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago (edited)
Kids like these arrive at school still not toilet trained and certainly not socialized. They're the ones who can't be disciplined, won't do what the teacher tells them, terrorize the other students, are way behind on all the things kids have normally learned by now, and when the teacher calls the parents, the parent defends the kid or ignores the whole thing and expects the teacher to make up the difference with no help from them.
Load More Replies...
Somebodys grandmother 2 weeks ago (edited)
Never heard of that kind of "gentle parenting" - but it sounds awful.... I have told my now 30 yo daughter off 3 times in her life and she has never been destructive... you can have boundaries without being harsch...
lenka 2 weeks ago
For the record - this is NOT GENTLE PARENTING. This is permissive parenting. Gentle parenting relies quite heavily on consistent boundaries. This means setting clear, age-appropriate rules and boundaries and enforcing them with calm, consistent guidance. It does not mean letting a child trash your house. An example of a gentle parenting response to pouring juice on the rug might be to explain why we dont ruin other people's belongings (empathy), make him help me clean the rug (natural consequence), and then suggest a more appropriate place/way for the dinosaurs to have a lake (i.e. outiside) (redirect).
Nilsen 2 weeks ago
Came to say that. "Do not - because -" is the normal gentle way. Don't hit because that hurts, don't destroy because people will be sad, with age appropriate explanations. Asking about the melt downs that happens because the child is three and the world is difficult to understand would be normal.
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 2 weeks ago
Can't wait for these kids to arrive at school and have real life smash them in the brain with how it ACTUALLY works and what happens when you trash someone else's property. Enjoy your grandkids, grandma. Maybe lock away the china.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago (edited)
Kids like these arrive at school still not toilet trained and certainly not socialized. They're the ones who can't be disciplined, won't do what the teacher tells them, terrorize the other students, are way behind on all the things kids have normally learned by now, and when the teacher calls the parents, the parent defends the kid or ignores the whole thing and expects the teacher to make up the difference with no help from them.
Load More Replies... Somebodys grandmother 2 weeks ago (edited)
Never heard of that kind of "gentle parenting" - but it sounds awful.... I have told my now 30 yo daughter off 3 times in her life and she has never been destructive... you can have boundaries without being harsch...
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