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Woman Leaves SIL’s Home When She Realizes She’s Not Getting Any Compassion, Gets Told Off
Woman with curly hair wiping tears, reflecting grief and emotional distress in a close-up portrait.
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Woman Leaves SIL’s Home When She Realizes She’s Not Getting Any Compassion, Gets Told Off

Interview With Expert

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Many people see their pets as part of their family—they provide comfort, support, and, in some cases, unconditional love. Yet, when they pass, people find it hard to understand the grief the owner goes through, as society usually doesn’t deem it as equally serious as when a human passes away. It can make the owner face unique challenges, like isolation and unresolved grief.

Therefore, this woman was glad when her SIL invited her over so she didn’t have to deal with her pet loss alone. However, when she started unloading her duties onto her, it quickly became clear that there was a secret agenda behind her invitation.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with a pet loss specialist, Louise Griffey, and a pet loss grief specialist, Grant Hazell, who kindly agreed to share their insights on grieving a pet.

RELATED:

    Owners who go through the loss of a pet can feel misunderstood and isolated

    Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)

    So this woman was glad when her SIL invited her over after losing a pet, however, her intentions were far from pure

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    Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Prize-Classroom-5623

    A pet owner’s grief can be easily dismissed

    Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)

    Pet loss specialist Louise Griffey tells us that a pet owner’s grief is a form of disenfranchised grief. This kind of grief can be easily dismissed, as it isn’t acknowledged or validated by society.

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    “Because pets are often seen as ‘just animals,’ people may not understand how deep the bond really is. They might say things like “You can get another one” or ‘It’s not like losing a person,’ which only adds to the pain. But the truth is, grief is about love and attachment, not who or what we’ve lost. For many, pets are family, and losing them can be just as devastating, if not more,” she explains.

    The grief of a pet shouldn’t be ignored, as the psychological effect of dismissing the grieving of a pet can be severe, says pet loss grief specialist Grant Hazell.

    “A grieving person may feel their emotional response is abnormal, invalid, unnatural, and that ‘there is something wrong with them.’ They may feel unable to fully express their grief, being forced to suppress all emotions in fear of being ridiculed and undermined. When suppressing grief, we only serve to prolong the process, denying ourselves healthy and open grieving without the pressure of timeframes or rules.”

    “Grief is already heavy, but when it’s not acknowledged, it becomes a silent struggle,” notes Griffey. “Your pain is real, and you deserve space to feel it.”

    When a person we’re close to loses a pet, we should support them with our presence

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

    Since disenfranchised grief doesn’t usually comply with societal norms, a lot of people might be confused about how to comfort the person they’re close with when they lose their pet.

    “A grieving pet guardian will unlikely have the energy or the emotional capacity to inform a loved one how to treat them and how to act around them,” adds Hazell. “The grieving person may be doing their utmost to survive the emotional torment and oftentimes, can be living on an hour-to-hour basis, such is the enormity of pet loss to some.”

    Therefore, when a person we’re close to loses a pet, experts recommend helping them with our presence without trying to fix their pain. This is the most meaningful support we can give to grieving pet owners, says Griffey. To further comfort and support the grieving pet owner, she additionally suggests the following:

    • Listen without judgment, criticism, or trying to analyze their grief.
    • Keep checking in, even weeks or months later — grief doesn’t end after a few days.
    • Let them know they’re on your mind — bring a cooked meal, offer help with errands, or just go for a walk together.
    • Gently ask if they’d like to talk about their pet — sharing memories can be healing.
    • Give a small pet memorial gift or look through photos and videos together.
    • And most importantly — be honest. It’s okay to say, ‘I don’t know what to say,’ as long as you’re showing up with care.

    Meanwhile, pet owners should try their best to accept and acknowledge the grief they’re feeling instead of attempting to take their mind off of it.

    “When we suppress or avoid that pain, it often resurfaces later as anxiety, depression, irritability, or even physical symptoms. Processing grief means allowing yourself to feel, to remember, to cry, to talk, and to honour the loss, all of which help integrate the experience into your life rather than staying stuck in it,” explains Griffey.

    Many readers supported the woman for leaving

    While, a handful thought no one was at fault here

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    What do you think ?
    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The people who say "it's just a cat" or "it's just a dog" have obviously never experienced finding your pet soulmate. I lost my last dog when he was 15, and I was an absolute train wreck. I'm going to be an absolute train wreck with my current dog who just turned 4 and is my whole life. I feel bad for OP coz it sounds like she had her pet soulmate and her shittie SIL didn't seem to care that she was grieving a huge loss.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely fúcking hate when people put “just a” before the type of living or previously living thing. Yeah, you’re “just a” human. There are billions of you (us, I suppose).

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra Hall
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t believe any of you idiots a; possibly blame this person. Sod off, you ignorant twats. I honestly don’t know what the fetch is wrong with people.

    whodunnitfan2013
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry. My relatives exploited me after my own cat died.

    Load More Comments
    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The people who say "it's just a cat" or "it's just a dog" have obviously never experienced finding your pet soulmate. I lost my last dog when he was 15, and I was an absolute train wreck. I'm going to be an absolute train wreck with my current dog who just turned 4 and is my whole life. I feel bad for OP coz it sounds like she had her pet soulmate and her shittie SIL didn't seem to care that she was grieving a huge loss.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely fúcking hate when people put “just a” before the type of living or previously living thing. Yeah, you’re “just a” human. There are billions of you (us, I suppose).

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra Hall
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t believe any of you idiots a; possibly blame this person. Sod off, you ignorant twats. I honestly don’t know what the fetch is wrong with people.

    whodunnitfan2013
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry. My relatives exploited me after my own cat died.

    Load More Comments
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