Woman Gets Called Out For Attempting To Outshine The Bride At Her Ex’s Wedding, Takes It Online To Complain But Finds No Support
It so happens that family life often ends in divorce. In the end, none of us are perfect, and it is better to go our separate ways, while maintaining friendly, or at least just normal relations. And then one of the former spouses marries again – and everything goes awry…
A wedding is a celebration for two, and even if, for instance, the groom’s ex-wife is on excellent terms with both, her appearance at the ceremony may cause unpleasant feelings in one of the newlyweds. Especially if the guest is dressed in a chic dress, as it happened with the user u/closureseekingex.
The author of the post got divorced yet managed to have friendly relations with her ex-husband
Image credits: MonMer2 (not the actual photo)
The woman and her ex are co-parenting their three kids together with no significant issues
Image credits: closureseekingex
The woman decided to RSVP Yes to her ex’s new wedding invitation – and showed up in a flashy red dress
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she and her ex-husband divorced amicably, and now they are co-raising their three children without any problems. And recently, the ex-husband of the author of the post was going to remarry. The OP admits that she likes Stephanie, her ex’s future wife, especially since she treats the children well and makes their father happy.
When it came to the wedding, the groom sent the OP a personal invitation, but Stephanie probably expected her to politely decline on some plausible excuse. But the author of the post thought: “And why not, damn it?” In general, the woman put on her most luxurious red dress, took the kids, and went to the wedding. Moreover, when Stephanie asked if she planned to stay at the ceremony, the OP said yes, noting that she was invited by the groom.
Thanks to her flashy outfit, the original poster attracted everyone’s attention, and in fact, almost all the guests knew very well who she was to the groom. The bride, in turn, was restless and anxious, and finally in private accused the OP of trying to ruin her special day. A real scandal erupted, and only the groom and his mother were able to calm Stephanie at least a bit.
As for the original poster, she sincerely refused to understand why her spectacular appearance upset the bride so much. She told the newlyweds that she was not to blame for Stephanie’s insecurities, and that she was not going to steal her ex back at all. As you probably guessed, the wedding was completely ruined…
Image credits: closureseekingex
There are well-known cases where ex-spouses part on very good terms and calmly attend each other’s new weddings. Perhaps the perfect example here are Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, who, like the original poster, had three children at the time of their divorce. Willis was present at the wedding of his ex-wife with Ashton Kutcher (there were even rumors that he would walk the bride down the aisle), and many years later, Moore came to Bruce’s wedding with Emma Heming. But this Hollywood story is perhaps the exception rather than the rule.
“You might have some difficult emotions to work through – especially if your split is recent,” Colorado-based wedding counselor Jan Scott-Frazier tells Insider in a recent interview. “Whatever may still be unresolved, the past is the past and this is right now this minute. Perhaps thinking of the wedding itself as neutral ground would be good.” Apparently, the original poster didn’t exactly heed this sound advice…
Especially when you consider what kind of dress she wore. This is definitely a wedding dress – even if it is red. This was noticed by many people in the comments who criticized the original poster heavily. “That dress is too much for a guest at a wedding,” commenters wrote. “I don’t care if it’s red, that is wildly inappropriate,” people do suppose. And by the way, what do you think about this story and whether the original poster’s behavior was appropriate?
People in the comments slammed the woman for literally ruining the wedding out of the blue – especially after she revealed what kind of dress it was
Image credits: Masood Aslami (not the actual photo)
129Kviews
Share on FacebookI was all set to say NTA until I followed the link to the dress. The description literally says "red wedding dress." She wore a wedding dress to her ex-husband's wedding.
Please can you tell me where the link is? I need to see the dress!
Load More Replies...The dress was not really appropriate for a guest to wear, it was advertised as a wedding dress and would also work as a bridesmaid or maid of honour dress but definitely not for a guest who was also the ex of the groom. It definitely seemed like OP was stating her claim to the groom and reminding the bride that she was wife number 2.
yeah! who wears something like this to a wedding as a normal guest?? just because it's red doesn't mean it's not a wedding dress... 41VNd8HfUL._AC_.jpg
Load More Replies...There is also this thing about wearing red at a wedding. Supposedly it means you've slept with the groom. Stupid, but I'd still avoid it if I'd dated the groom, unless I'm the bride I guess.
This was my thought too. I was always told never to wear red to a wedding because if this. Add in that it was a wedding dress in red? This was 100% about ruining the bride’s day.
Load More Replies...ESH. Both the bride and the ex-wife have to rise above this sort of pettiness. Nobody decent at a wedding looks at a bride and thinks "You lost the prettiest girl here contest." Be confident in your role. And ex-wife, you will never win people over with a "I'll show you who the best bride is" attempt. You will just look like a mean girl. Both of them need to realize that there are CHILDREN in this relationship and at this wedding and try to construct a harmonious relationship for them. Otherwise, you are being crappy parents.
Something similar happened with my aunt marrying her second husband. Her ex husband showed up and both men tried to upstage each other in extreme pettiness. It was gross. However she DID wear a red wedding dress.
Load More Replies...I think anyone who stays at a wedding when told by either bride or groom to leave is AH. Regardless of how trivial the reason. Unless you've paid for and put together the wedding, you don't really have a leg to stand on. And after seeing the dress, she's a major AH and needed to leave.
What was she supposed to do though, leave the kids drive 2h back home and then drive the 4 hours there and back again when the wedding is over? The bride clearly wanted the kids there so either way she would have most likely complained
Load More Replies...I love the fact she had a throw away handle called U/closureseekingEx when clearly she wasn't looking for closure she was wanting the ex's attention XD
I was scrolling to see if anyone else noticed that handle!
Load More Replies...So, Stephanie's husband gets out of this situation blame free? I think he needs to have the "riot act" read to him. Why in the heck would he invite his ex-wife without his bride-to-be's okay? And yes, ex-wife should have left after the bride said "You're not welcome here" and most DEFINITELY shouldn't have worn a red dress.
I think the bride was ok with sending the invitation as a courtesy, but she didn't actually think that OP would show up
Load More Replies...Lol, you wear a revenge dress, people are going to get mad at you. What did you expect?
Doesn't a red dress mean that you've slept with the groom and is protesting the wedding? OP is NTA fo attending the wedding and the bride really should have realised that of she sends an invitation the invited person might show up. OP is TAH for wearing that dress
Ok I'm African and things might be done differently wherever you're from but every wedding I've been to we've all dressed up. No matter how extravagant the guests' attire were, there was never an instance where anyone even came close to upstaging the bride. A wedding is a celebration for those getting married so we will all compliment each other's attire but it's not about us, at the end of the day whether you're wearing a coloured wedding dress to someone else's wedding doesn't matter cause no one will comment on it being a wedding dress cause we're too busy admiring the person who is supposed to be in the wedding dress. If the dress is pretty we'll compliment you on it but that's the end of it because trust me you're not the most extravagantly dressed guest there. So from this point you're NTA. But if you're suppose to dress for a wedding like it's a business conference, weirdly enough, then I guess ATA.
It is different. In many other places, you dress up but not in ways that will draw attention from the bride. Generally no white or any extremely bright or flashy colors. Wearing a bright red wedding dress to someone else's traditional wedding is a show of disrespect. OP is feigning ignorance, but her behavior toward the bride shows it was intentional.
Load More Replies...The bride gave her side or the story on reddit too. Really puts things in perspective! https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/105s1ki/my_wedding_was_ruined_by_a_jealous_ex_and_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I remember when this was first posted. She took it to various subreddits for support but she got none. Going down the rabbit hole that was her profile, that woman was obsessed with her ex's new partner. She got called out for it but refused to back down, going down the 'if you disagree with me, you're obviously a hater and I'm totally above everyone else' route. I hope she has gotten over herself, but I can honestly see her becoming a stalker.
Am I alone in wondering if the OP didn’t dye the wedding dress she married her ex in red and she’s just not mentioning that “tiny” detail?
It was already red, but it was a wedding dress from Amazon (she posted a link before she deleted her account).
Load More Replies...Why would anybody in their right mind want to go to their ex's wedding?
I just don't understand why anyone would want to attend their exes wedding? My ex and I are great coparents but there's no way I would ever accept an invite to his wedding. Like the bride said, they didn't think she'd really accept it because WHY WOULD YOU. Idk this whole post is whack. Not only does she accept the invite but then wears a RED wedding dress. And did anyone notice her other user name? It was something about ex seeking closure... that's sus to me too. YTA
Surprised at how generous some comments are here towards the EX wife. One's wedding is a special day where you make memories to share with your future self. It is not called an " accommodation" to let all and sundry do what they want on your special day. How about respecting those that planned and paid for it for THEIR memories. You HAD YOURS with the guy, he's no longer yours. So what if you traveled 100 Miles to drop off the kids, it's their dads 2nd marriage. Go to see a damn movie, take a walk in the park but stay the hell away. I don't care what she wore, invite or no invite, SHE HAD NO PLACE THERE. Yes it's good they all get along for the children, cause it's their duty to do it, not a favour to one another. She still has a torch for her ex husband and zero respect for his new wife. This husband needs to grow a pair and stand up for his new wife. New wife needs to now place solid boundaries to keep THIS EX in her own sandbox and stay in her lane.
Forget about inappropriate, when you wear a red dress to a wedding, that means you've slept with the groom. When you wear a red wedding dress, it means you're completely unhinged and set on ruining the day with your loud and clear message. This woman knew exactly what she was doing and hid it behind a mask of, "I'm so innocent and this mean lady got mad!"
I am not sure I buy this story. OP says she was invited to the wedding by her ex because it was her weekend with the kids, so why not? -Could have switched weekends. She was told by THE BRIDE that she was not welcomed. -Why would you stay someplace where you are not welcomed? OP posted a pic from an online store of one the most inappropriate dresses to wear to an EX's wedding (wedding? it looks like something one would wear on the red carpet).-Real people don't just have this kind of dress just hanging in the closet. If she did attend and wore it, it was bought for this special purpose-to try and upstage/p**s off the bride. If she didn't wear that dress, it was posted for drama. Wheather the story is true or not...still TA.
We've no confirmation when the OP says everything was just great between her and the ex and the new bride. Her behavior definitely shows otherwise. My sister put up with a crazy ex wife for years; this OP shows signs of the same crazy. Being in denial is a big part of this.
You're completely right and whoever downvoted you hasn't read the full story. She showed up in an actual wedding dress, she spends a lot of time trying to prove to her ex that she's better than the new partner (but oh so totally over him, of course), and she posted about them frequently. The OP is the definition of a crazy ex and after she realised Reddit saw through her behaviour, she deleted her account.
Load More Replies...So basically no one’s gonna talk about how the newly husband never communicated with his wife about the fact that he invited his ex? Hood him accountable godda**t
In the wife's post she said she was informed he invited her for unknown reasons but bride wasn't told she accepted
Load More Replies...My ex got married one week ago today. I was invited which I found to be odd despite a fairly amicable co-parenting relationship. I politely declined when I received the invitation. I could not and cannot even fathom having attended that wedding. The OP is TA 110%.
When people are obviously leaving out critical details, it means they know that they're the AH. I don't get why they even bother.
WTF was she thinking? Obviously she has issues with the new stepmother of the children, whether she realizes it or not. In some circles wearing a red dress (wedding dress or not, I'll touch on later) says to the people at the wedding she slept with the groom. I think she WANTED to remind everyone she slept with the groom. Now, to wear that dress (red, black, purple, white, or whatever color) shows she wanted to outshine the bride. The fact that she stayed after the bride asked her to leave adds to my belief that subliminally (maybe) she wanted to ruin the bride's day. The post is vague and there are several questions she should have addressed - did the groom ask her to attend? Did she get an invitation and did she RSVP? Did she just pick that dress from her closet? Will or has the ex ask for custody of kids? Will her ex stay where he is or move away? Has she and her ex talked about life going forward?.... Is she TA? YES. I would add she's a B for what she did.
It’s kind of accepted that if a woman wears a red dress to a wedding, it signify that she has had sex with the groom, & you wore an attention grabbing slinky RED dress that looked like a wedding dress. Drop the innocent act, you meant to upset the bride on her day. Shame on you.
Girl get over yourself, you're an EX for a reason! Tacky, entitled narcissistic behavior. You were clearly told you weren't wanted there but chose to die on that hill! Selfish b***h!
I too was ready to say NTA, but upon seeing the red dress (or facsimile) I am changing it to YTA x 10. https://www.brides.com/wear-red-wedding-6742620
ESH. Groom should have communicated better. Bride should have not sent the invitation if she wasn't willing for her to come. And OP shouldn't have worn a freaking red wedding dress to her ex's wedding. Literally is saying to everyone there she slept with the groom AND is doing so with her own wedding dress. Just dumb. But had the bride and groom been smarter about this whole thing, she wouldn't have had the opportunity to revenge dress them. The fact that OP is the one who posts this online for validation is laughable.
Granted that she and her ex had an amicable divorce and she likes Stephanie - but, wow! She had the balls to wear that dress, which distinctly states in the description that it's a Wedding dress. She knows what she's doing.
I didn't see the dress, but still saying YTA. Why not drop the kids, do some shopping and pick them up later. This day had zero to do with you, IN SPITE of the fact that you agreeably co parent. When she asked you to leave, kiss the kids, tell them you will be back, and go. Hopefully have a change of clothes in the car. Be the bigger person and let her have her wedding day minus the ex wife.
The kids may have been in the wedding. People get weird about making sure they see that kind of thing, no matter who's wedding it is.
Load More Replies...You goofed big time, are you 16 years old. You sure aren't very mature. You have now created a wedge between the bride and you and deliberately caused issues between your ex and his new wife. You said she's been good with the kids, the kids definitely were not important to you when you incited drama at their wedding. You are selfish and not a very nice person. You would do well to apologize and keep a low profile till things cool down, stay out of her way. Let her anger cool down so she can move on gracefully. I hope she's able to be the better person and rise above your childish antics.
I was all set to say NTA until I followed the link to the dress. The description literally says "red wedding dress." She wore a wedding dress to her ex-husband's wedding.
Please can you tell me where the link is? I need to see the dress!
Load More Replies...The dress was not really appropriate for a guest to wear, it was advertised as a wedding dress and would also work as a bridesmaid or maid of honour dress but definitely not for a guest who was also the ex of the groom. It definitely seemed like OP was stating her claim to the groom and reminding the bride that she was wife number 2.
yeah! who wears something like this to a wedding as a normal guest?? just because it's red doesn't mean it's not a wedding dress... 41VNd8HfUL._AC_.jpg
Load More Replies...There is also this thing about wearing red at a wedding. Supposedly it means you've slept with the groom. Stupid, but I'd still avoid it if I'd dated the groom, unless I'm the bride I guess.
This was my thought too. I was always told never to wear red to a wedding because if this. Add in that it was a wedding dress in red? This was 100% about ruining the bride’s day.
Load More Replies...ESH. Both the bride and the ex-wife have to rise above this sort of pettiness. Nobody decent at a wedding looks at a bride and thinks "You lost the prettiest girl here contest." Be confident in your role. And ex-wife, you will never win people over with a "I'll show you who the best bride is" attempt. You will just look like a mean girl. Both of them need to realize that there are CHILDREN in this relationship and at this wedding and try to construct a harmonious relationship for them. Otherwise, you are being crappy parents.
Something similar happened with my aunt marrying her second husband. Her ex husband showed up and both men tried to upstage each other in extreme pettiness. It was gross. However she DID wear a red wedding dress.
Load More Replies...I think anyone who stays at a wedding when told by either bride or groom to leave is AH. Regardless of how trivial the reason. Unless you've paid for and put together the wedding, you don't really have a leg to stand on. And after seeing the dress, she's a major AH and needed to leave.
What was she supposed to do though, leave the kids drive 2h back home and then drive the 4 hours there and back again when the wedding is over? The bride clearly wanted the kids there so either way she would have most likely complained
Load More Replies...I love the fact she had a throw away handle called U/closureseekingEx when clearly she wasn't looking for closure she was wanting the ex's attention XD
I was scrolling to see if anyone else noticed that handle!
Load More Replies...So, Stephanie's husband gets out of this situation blame free? I think he needs to have the "riot act" read to him. Why in the heck would he invite his ex-wife without his bride-to-be's okay? And yes, ex-wife should have left after the bride said "You're not welcome here" and most DEFINITELY shouldn't have worn a red dress.
I think the bride was ok with sending the invitation as a courtesy, but she didn't actually think that OP would show up
Load More Replies...Lol, you wear a revenge dress, people are going to get mad at you. What did you expect?
Doesn't a red dress mean that you've slept with the groom and is protesting the wedding? OP is NTA fo attending the wedding and the bride really should have realised that of she sends an invitation the invited person might show up. OP is TAH for wearing that dress
Ok I'm African and things might be done differently wherever you're from but every wedding I've been to we've all dressed up. No matter how extravagant the guests' attire were, there was never an instance where anyone even came close to upstaging the bride. A wedding is a celebration for those getting married so we will all compliment each other's attire but it's not about us, at the end of the day whether you're wearing a coloured wedding dress to someone else's wedding doesn't matter cause no one will comment on it being a wedding dress cause we're too busy admiring the person who is supposed to be in the wedding dress. If the dress is pretty we'll compliment you on it but that's the end of it because trust me you're not the most extravagantly dressed guest there. So from this point you're NTA. But if you're suppose to dress for a wedding like it's a business conference, weirdly enough, then I guess ATA.
It is different. In many other places, you dress up but not in ways that will draw attention from the bride. Generally no white or any extremely bright or flashy colors. Wearing a bright red wedding dress to someone else's traditional wedding is a show of disrespect. OP is feigning ignorance, but her behavior toward the bride shows it was intentional.
Load More Replies...The bride gave her side or the story on reddit too. Really puts things in perspective! https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/105s1ki/my_wedding_was_ruined_by_a_jealous_ex_and_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I remember when this was first posted. She took it to various subreddits for support but she got none. Going down the rabbit hole that was her profile, that woman was obsessed with her ex's new partner. She got called out for it but refused to back down, going down the 'if you disagree with me, you're obviously a hater and I'm totally above everyone else' route. I hope she has gotten over herself, but I can honestly see her becoming a stalker.
Am I alone in wondering if the OP didn’t dye the wedding dress she married her ex in red and she’s just not mentioning that “tiny” detail?
It was already red, but it was a wedding dress from Amazon (she posted a link before she deleted her account).
Load More Replies...Why would anybody in their right mind want to go to their ex's wedding?
I just don't understand why anyone would want to attend their exes wedding? My ex and I are great coparents but there's no way I would ever accept an invite to his wedding. Like the bride said, they didn't think she'd really accept it because WHY WOULD YOU. Idk this whole post is whack. Not only does she accept the invite but then wears a RED wedding dress. And did anyone notice her other user name? It was something about ex seeking closure... that's sus to me too. YTA
Surprised at how generous some comments are here towards the EX wife. One's wedding is a special day where you make memories to share with your future self. It is not called an " accommodation" to let all and sundry do what they want on your special day. How about respecting those that planned and paid for it for THEIR memories. You HAD YOURS with the guy, he's no longer yours. So what if you traveled 100 Miles to drop off the kids, it's their dads 2nd marriage. Go to see a damn movie, take a walk in the park but stay the hell away. I don't care what she wore, invite or no invite, SHE HAD NO PLACE THERE. Yes it's good they all get along for the children, cause it's their duty to do it, not a favour to one another. She still has a torch for her ex husband and zero respect for his new wife. This husband needs to grow a pair and stand up for his new wife. New wife needs to now place solid boundaries to keep THIS EX in her own sandbox and stay in her lane.
Forget about inappropriate, when you wear a red dress to a wedding, that means you've slept with the groom. When you wear a red wedding dress, it means you're completely unhinged and set on ruining the day with your loud and clear message. This woman knew exactly what she was doing and hid it behind a mask of, "I'm so innocent and this mean lady got mad!"
I am not sure I buy this story. OP says she was invited to the wedding by her ex because it was her weekend with the kids, so why not? -Could have switched weekends. She was told by THE BRIDE that she was not welcomed. -Why would you stay someplace where you are not welcomed? OP posted a pic from an online store of one the most inappropriate dresses to wear to an EX's wedding (wedding? it looks like something one would wear on the red carpet).-Real people don't just have this kind of dress just hanging in the closet. If she did attend and wore it, it was bought for this special purpose-to try and upstage/p**s off the bride. If she didn't wear that dress, it was posted for drama. Wheather the story is true or not...still TA.
We've no confirmation when the OP says everything was just great between her and the ex and the new bride. Her behavior definitely shows otherwise. My sister put up with a crazy ex wife for years; this OP shows signs of the same crazy. Being in denial is a big part of this.
You're completely right and whoever downvoted you hasn't read the full story. She showed up in an actual wedding dress, she spends a lot of time trying to prove to her ex that she's better than the new partner (but oh so totally over him, of course), and she posted about them frequently. The OP is the definition of a crazy ex and after she realised Reddit saw through her behaviour, she deleted her account.
Load More Replies...So basically no one’s gonna talk about how the newly husband never communicated with his wife about the fact that he invited his ex? Hood him accountable godda**t
In the wife's post she said she was informed he invited her for unknown reasons but bride wasn't told she accepted
Load More Replies...My ex got married one week ago today. I was invited which I found to be odd despite a fairly amicable co-parenting relationship. I politely declined when I received the invitation. I could not and cannot even fathom having attended that wedding. The OP is TA 110%.
When people are obviously leaving out critical details, it means they know that they're the AH. I don't get why they even bother.
WTF was she thinking? Obviously she has issues with the new stepmother of the children, whether she realizes it or not. In some circles wearing a red dress (wedding dress or not, I'll touch on later) says to the people at the wedding she slept with the groom. I think she WANTED to remind everyone she slept with the groom. Now, to wear that dress (red, black, purple, white, or whatever color) shows she wanted to outshine the bride. The fact that she stayed after the bride asked her to leave adds to my belief that subliminally (maybe) she wanted to ruin the bride's day. The post is vague and there are several questions she should have addressed - did the groom ask her to attend? Did she get an invitation and did she RSVP? Did she just pick that dress from her closet? Will or has the ex ask for custody of kids? Will her ex stay where he is or move away? Has she and her ex talked about life going forward?.... Is she TA? YES. I would add she's a B for what she did.
It’s kind of accepted that if a woman wears a red dress to a wedding, it signify that she has had sex with the groom, & you wore an attention grabbing slinky RED dress that looked like a wedding dress. Drop the innocent act, you meant to upset the bride on her day. Shame on you.
Girl get over yourself, you're an EX for a reason! Tacky, entitled narcissistic behavior. You were clearly told you weren't wanted there but chose to die on that hill! Selfish b***h!
I too was ready to say NTA, but upon seeing the red dress (or facsimile) I am changing it to YTA x 10. https://www.brides.com/wear-red-wedding-6742620
ESH. Groom should have communicated better. Bride should have not sent the invitation if she wasn't willing for her to come. And OP shouldn't have worn a freaking red wedding dress to her ex's wedding. Literally is saying to everyone there she slept with the groom AND is doing so with her own wedding dress. Just dumb. But had the bride and groom been smarter about this whole thing, she wouldn't have had the opportunity to revenge dress them. The fact that OP is the one who posts this online for validation is laughable.
Granted that she and her ex had an amicable divorce and she likes Stephanie - but, wow! She had the balls to wear that dress, which distinctly states in the description that it's a Wedding dress. She knows what she's doing.
I didn't see the dress, but still saying YTA. Why not drop the kids, do some shopping and pick them up later. This day had zero to do with you, IN SPITE of the fact that you agreeably co parent. When she asked you to leave, kiss the kids, tell them you will be back, and go. Hopefully have a change of clothes in the car. Be the bigger person and let her have her wedding day minus the ex wife.
The kids may have been in the wedding. People get weird about making sure they see that kind of thing, no matter who's wedding it is.
Load More Replies...You goofed big time, are you 16 years old. You sure aren't very mature. You have now created a wedge between the bride and you and deliberately caused issues between your ex and his new wife. You said she's been good with the kids, the kids definitely were not important to you when you incited drama at their wedding. You are selfish and not a very nice person. You would do well to apologize and keep a low profile till things cool down, stay out of her way. Let her anger cool down so she can move on gracefully. I hope she's able to be the better person and rise above your childish antics.
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