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Horoscopes usually regale us with glowing tales of future love, wealth, and prosperity. One artist, however, has a different interpretation of what the celestial bodies are trying to tell us, and it's a little less frilly.

Shitty Horoscopes is the brainchild of Toronto-based Amrit Brar, also known as 'Musterni.' Unfolding on Tumblr since 2015 and culminating in the recent release of a Kickstarter-funded 13-chapter book, the project turns the shortcomings and darker sides of each star sign into brief but poignant poems, accompanied by delightfully cool drawings of decorated skeletal remains. Brutally honest, yet instantly relatable, Brar's messages to horoscope signs read like a wine-induced 3 AM conversation with your best friend, which is probably why her Tumblr fans just keep demanding more and more of her creative ideas.

Scroll down, find your astrology sign, and have a laugh at the intricacies of our psyche that may or may not be influenced by the planets moving around us.

More info: Official Wesbite, Tumblr, Instagram

#1

Scorpio

Scorpio

Amrit Brar Report

Laura LaTata
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ouch! You f*cking... Ouch! Shut the... Ouch!

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    #2

    Gemini

    Gemini

    Amrit Brar Report

    Raju Sesharaj
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait i am a gemini and this seems so accurate

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    #3

    Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    Amrit Brar Report

    #4

    Aquarius

    Aquarius

    Amrit Brar Report

    Lazy Panda 2
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure if this is applicable to me. Though it might be.

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    #5

    Aries

    Aries

    Amrit Brar Report

    Zombie Gurl
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That explains my personality and my bottomless pit of hunger

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    #6

    Libra

    Libra

    Amrit Brar Report

    Erzsébet Bükkös
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a Libra. And this is true, but people usually don't care about that I loving them, like it wasn't the most precious thing they could get from me

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    #7

    Cancer

    Cancer

    Amrit Brar Report

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought that Cancer was shy nice people? That's what it always was when I was a kid, and how I first suspected that horoscopes were b******t since I didn't fit it.

    BREAK YOUr perceptions
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    while its true most cancers are shy, shy doesnt equal nice. the best way to describe a cancer is emotional. and emotional people can be aggressive too (im a cancer leo cusp, and boy do i got some problems)

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    Rawen Madini
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God damn .... straight to the point, I can't argue with that though

    Babs
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took this to mean that Cancers are upset that others are insensitive a******s. They care for people deeply and wish others could return the same kindness.

    Minda Fraser
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol mine is the worst!! - and of course i totally disagree.

    Edwin Lesperance
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Suck it up, snowflake! What? You want me to be someone else?

    Kat Payne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, I'm an a*****e for sure and I try to work on it but... it wont go away.

    Jacqueline Gray
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This must've been written by a cancer.

    Helen Coyle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not in the least bit true must have been written by a scorpio, they are the true a*s holes

    Tammy Chapman
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Meme was a Scorpio. She was one of strongest women I have ever known. She could do everything a man could do, and she usually did it even better. Before she retired she was a cross-country truck driver. I lived with her for many years. And we raised 2 of my cousins together. I was 13 when that began. She worked hard, and I had to figure out how to be a Mom to kids that weren't even mine when I was just 13. But, she was always about family. And the only time I saw her being an a*****e was when she was taking up for the family. Oh, and when one of our neighbors in Houston called her something she wasn't. She was a good woman, but she wasn't an a*****e. Thank God!!!!

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    Kirsten Faint
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm more upset that they represented cancer with the spider crab which is the ugliest crab in the f**king sea. How's that for assholery?

    Nicole Hagberg
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I already knew that. Why would anyone want a cure for being an a*****e anyways, it's so much better than fake, b****y, selfish, and conceited.

    Amanda Marie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sounds more like a virgo than a cancer.

    Amanda Marie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol... sounds more like a virgo, than a cancer.

    Ramses Brooks
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    there’s different types to each sign some are shy and cry, some never cry and are sassy af

    SMarriott
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    endelbendel
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They grasp and hold on tight . . . but maybe not to another.

    Amanda Marie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sounds more like a virgin, than a cancer.

    Cookie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Scorpios are the a******s.

    Pandola
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is very precise...unfortunately...stay away from Cancer, they ruin everything and their own life too...sad story

    Branislava Simić
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cancer people also would keep a person in a relationship even if they see that the person is suffering... But no, as long as Cancer is happy, he basically doesnt give a s**t if other people around him are miserable... :(

    Branislava Simić
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is true... Cancer people were the biggest a******s to me out of all Zodiac and it is really hard for me to be friends with them, not to mention having a relationship (I am a Taurus BTW). They can play nice and all that but cross them and they will back stab you as soon as they get the chance... And no, they wont give a s**t that you also might have emotions. Basically these gusy only look after their own asses. :D

    Eric Teokotai
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Push a cancer too far and yes they can become an a*****e and wont give a s**t about anythig or anyone

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    Amanda
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister is a Cancer lol

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    #8

    Taurus

    Taurus

    Amrit Brar Report

    HauntedForests
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a Taurus, I have to say that this is accurate.

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    #9

    Pisces

    Pisces

    Amrit Brar Report

    Pandola
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they hide what they don't like...as stage actors, there's the "behind the scene"...you never get to know them

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    #10

    Virgo

    Virgo

    Amrit Brar Report

    #11

    Leo

    Leo

    Amrit Brar Report

    Aunt Messy
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. Leos make their own luck.

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    #12

    Capricorn

    Capricorn

    Amrit Brar Report

    just a thought !
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually don't have a big ego ... But some times , when things get out of hand , I just shy away from people , which they might consider as me being egotistic.... So maybe that's how I understand this ...

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