For many, the long-awaited birth of a baby is associated with as much calm and peace as the baby and specific circumstances allow, so everyone, the baby and parents, can get some well-deserved rest and enjoy simply being together.
And yet, these plans may be threatened by the grandparents’ determination to host a party against the new parents’ wishes. By doing so, the grandparents risk being pushed aside, as this Redditor was when she wasn’t given a heads-up on the birthdate.
More info: Reddit
New parents wished for some privacy after their baby’s birth, yet the man’s mom had different plans
Image credits: Jonathan Nenemann (not the actual photo)
The grandmother suggested hosting a welcoming party right after the mother was discharged from the hospital
Image credit: u/Throwa676899
Image credits: Natalie Bond (not the actual photo)
Image credit: u/Throwa676899
The baby’s mother objected to the party and asked to spend the first few weeks just with her baby
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Contrary to this, the man’s mother still continued organizing the event and invited other family members
A new grandmother brought her story to the Reddit AITA community online and asked people if she was a jerk in the situation surrounding her grandson’s birth.
The woman’s suggestion to host a welcoming party for her son’s newborn right after being discharged from the hospital was rejected by the baby’s parents; however, the grandmother invited other family members anyway.
Yet despite the grandmother’s effort to organize a welcoming party for her grandson, not only did the event not take place, but the new grandmother was only given a heads-up by her nephew two weeks after her grandson was born.
Needless to say, the new grandmother was disappointed about her son misleading her about the birthdate of his son and not sharing the happy news right when the baby was born.
Consequently, the grandmother wasn’t given the correct birthdate and only found out about her grandson’s birth two weeks after
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The woman was livid her son hid the actual birthdate of his son and also ruined her welcoming party plans
When it comes to various situations in which parents have a different take on how to welcome a newborn than the baby’s grandparents or simply do not wish to have visitors straight after the baby’s birth, Verywell Family explained that this isn’t usually something that parents are doing to the grandparents, rather they are doing it for the newborn and themselves.
They advised grandparents to avoid overreacting in such situations and thus keep the possibility open for future interactions, in addition to listing various reasons that might be adding to parents not accepting visits yet.
These included taking time to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors, the mother’s need to recover and rest after giving birth, and parents being concerned about visitors bringing germs.
Verywell Family also noted that many now-grandmothers grew up in times when it was common for one’s mother or mother-in-law to come and stay with a new mother. This nowadays is rarer, due to factors such as the tendency of partners to help with parenting as well, and mothers trying to make the most of the time they have with their baby before returning to work.
For the reasons mentioned above, it is advised for grandparents to stay patient and respectful of boundaries when it comes to their grandchildren and their parents, possibly making a standing offer to come to help out.
Coming back to the original story, the post gathered 16.3k upvotes on Reddit, and people judged the grandmother to be a jerk in this situation for organizing a party despite the parents asking otherwise and lacking a general understanding that her daughter-in-law as well as her baby might need rest at this point.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
In case anyone is wondering… 1/Yes, this was several years ago. 2/No, the OP did not concede that she might have been in the wrong in any of her comment, all of which were overwhelmingly downvoted. You live and learn - or, in this case, you live and double down on your entirely wrong-headed selfishness.
I once went to a wetting the baby's head party, thinking the mum and baby were in the hospital still, or so I thought. Turns out a very young mum is sitting in her bedroom, terrified as most first-time mums are while her mother and her friends party downstairs and these people could party. I wasn't drinking so I spent the evening fielding drunk people from upsetting this kid and manhandling a new born. I never spoke to her mother again
Wow. This grandma better be careful if she wants to ever see her grandson. What new mom is going to want to not only have a "Welcoming party" but stay with her in-laws for it?! And on top of that the attitude would make me not want to ever see the in-laws again. Good for hubby.
In case anyone is wondering… 1/Yes, this was several years ago. 2/No, the OP did not concede that she might have been in the wrong in any of her comment, all of which were overwhelmingly downvoted. You live and learn - or, in this case, you live and double down on your entirely wrong-headed selfishness.
I once went to a wetting the baby's head party, thinking the mum and baby were in the hospital still, or so I thought. Turns out a very young mum is sitting in her bedroom, terrified as most first-time mums are while her mother and her friends party downstairs and these people could party. I wasn't drinking so I spent the evening fielding drunk people from upsetting this kid and manhandling a new born. I never spoke to her mother again
Wow. This grandma better be careful if she wants to ever see her grandson. What new mom is going to want to not only have a "Welcoming party" but stay with her in-laws for it?! And on top of that the attitude would make me not want to ever see the in-laws again. Good for hubby.
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