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30
Roommate Loses It After Friend Warns Her Date About HIV Diagnosis
Interview With ExpertKnowing the truth about something can be very powerful and risky, especially when those around you are unsuspecting. So what does one do in a situation when they are privy to information that could cause some serious damage?
Today’s Original Poster (OP) knew their roommate had HIV and couldn’t keep quiet when a guy showed up to spend the night with their roommate. Disclosing her status didn’t sit well with the roommate, ultimately leading to their fallout.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Sometimes, we hold the truth that could potentially save a person, but it also comes with a dilemma
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author’s roommate had told her that she tested positive for HIV and was going to have a guy spend the night
Image credits: oneinnahunnid
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
They tried to talk the roommate out of it and also asked her to let the guy know, but she refused, so they went ahead to tell him instead
Image credits: oneinnahunnid
Netizens saw nothing wrong with what the author did, pointing out that it would have been criminal if she didn’t mention it to the guy
In an update, the roommate revealed that the guy ghosted her due to what he knew and accused the author of ruining her reputation
Image credits: oneinnahunnid
Image credits: oneinnahunnid
They apologized, but maintained that the guy had the right to know, and that she wasn’t going about it the right way
The OP’s friend announced that she was having a guy over for the night right before telling them that she recently tested positive for HIV. Naturally, the OP was concerned and tried to talk her out of it, but the friend brushed it off. They then asked her to inform the guy at the very least, but she refused to do so.
The guy then showed up while the friend was in the shower, so the OP pulled him aside to let him know the situation. He listened but stayed for dinner and also watched movies with the OP’s friend.
However, the next morning, the friend confronted them angrily, asking why they told the guy. She yelled at the OP for interfering and “ruining everything.” This left the OP feeling guilty and wondering if they did the right thing by telling the guy.
In an update by the OP, they revealed that the roommate indeed wanted nothing to do with them ever again as she felt humiliated after having her personal information disclosed.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
To understand the motivation of the OP and to find out if she did the right thing, Bored Panda reached out to medical doctor Petrina Uukule, who has knowledge of public health and ethics. She started by explaining that since HIV has no cure, withholding one’s status is as serious as endangering another’s health, making disclosure a crucial part of responsible relationships.
“Everyone has the right to know their partner’s HIV status, and couples are encouraged to get tested together before getting intimate,” she affirmed, hinting that the OP was not wrong. She also suggested that regular testing is especially important in cases of infidelity or multiple partners, and condom use is highly recommended to prevent transmission.
Given the stigma around HIV, we asked Uukule how the outlook for individuals has changed with advancements in treatment. She explained that antiretroviral therapy (ARV) has turned HIV from a fatal condition into a manageable chronic illness. In the past, an HIV diagnosis was a death sentence, but today, she noted, “individuals can live long, healthy lives if they adhere to treatment.”
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She went further to explain that while there is still no cure, proper medical management has significantly reduced HIV-related deaths. “The key factor remains adherence,” she highlighted. Those who consistently follow their treatment plans experience much better outcomes, highlighting the importance of health education and regular medication use.
We then asked for the steps that those who are HIV positive should take to ensure their partner’s safety during intimacy, to which she responded, “For individuals living with HIV, it all starts with strict adherence to treatment.” She mentioned that antiretroviral therapy (ART) can suppress the virus to undetectable levels and significantly reduce transmission risk.
She recommended joint counseling at healthcare facilities for education and guidance. Using condoms remains essential, and medical advice should be sought when planning to conceive. “PrEP is around 90% highly effective in preventing HIV transmission when taken correctly, offering an additional layer of protection,” she added.
Netizens firmly believe that the OP did the right thing by informing the date about the roommate’s HIV status. Many emphasized that withholding such critical health information is not only unethical but also illegal.
Do you think the OP was right to step in, or should they have stayed out of it? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens maintained that they were right for telling the guy
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What do you think ?
Surly Scot 9 months ago
A lot of US States, and countries, it's illegal to have sexual contact with another person without disclosing you've got a positive HIV/AIDS diagnosis. Lisa is a horrible person and doesn't care about others health. She's not a friend or decent human being, get rid of her. For everyone else....ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. You have NO idea what another person is carrying, and life is not a video game, you get 1 health and no respawns!
David 9 months ago
Where I live, it is a felony with mandatory jail time if you knowingly infect someone with HIV, not to mention the civil suit, plus the person whose life you messed up
Load More Replies...
Becca not Becky 9 months ago
This goes for everyone regardless of age, gender, sexuality, relationship status, etc. You are not entitled to s3x. At all. Everyone is entitled to make informed decisions though. If they don't want to be with you for ANY reason, that is their right. Maybe it sucks for you, but that's just how it is, especially with something like HIV involved.
The Doom Song 9 months ago
Lisa is a POS. Roomie absolutely did the right thing. The amount of possible infections that got stopped that day.....
Lyoness 9 months ago
If you're having sex, even in a monogamous relationship, you need to get tested. People lie about sex. A lot. Whether it's the number of partners they've had, if they had (or have) an STI, when the last time they were tested, and especially if they're cheating, you need to be tested so you can share your status. Using condoms is great but not 100% effective. If you're in a relationship, both of you should be tested and you need to show each other the results before you have sex. Even better is being tested every 6 to 12 months. And anyone who's offended for being asked is a giant red flag, because if there's nothing to hide they have no reason to object. It's for their partner's peace of mind and health. If they care about you at all they'll do it.
Lee Gilliland 9 months ago
No. STDs can kill someone undiagnosed. If the don't kill, they screwed up badly. They must be disclosed. I also don't think much of roomies morals, using people for whatever reason is not a nice thing.
Monkey To The West 9 months ago (edited)
I am a doctor, specialized in HIV-Medicine and this article makes me sad. It breaks down to the fact that people who are undetectable and take therapy regularly are not infectious. And we have no information if said woman is infectious. The likelihood that she was not infectious is very high as the vast majority who know their diagnosis and have access to medication are not detectable and thus can't infect other people with or without condoms (we can't know from the information provided, but that woman would indeed know). The interviewed doctor called it "significantly reduced" which falls suggest, that there is still a substantial risk for therapy-adherent people The level of hate some people show here is misplaced.and in some cases plain ugly. And while I don't think OP ist an a*****e, he still quite likely did the wrong thing out of ignorance of "Treatment as Prevention". The true risk of transmission lies with the people who are infected and do not know it.
Monkey To The West 9 months ago
https://www.hiv.gov/tasp <-- further information on the matter
Load More Replies...
Crystal Taggart 9 months ago
WHO are the 1% of the people on this survey who would not tell someone they are at risk of a terrible disease???
Peeka_Mimi 9 months ago
My friend died of AIDS. Not being honest led to his death. So Lisa is a sh¡tty person and should be reported.
JayWantsACat 9 months ago
I started seeing someone who disclosed to me that she had genital herpes fairly early and, while was a deal breaker for me, I always appreciated that she was upfront about it.
Schmebulock 9 months ago
She was going to commit a crime and you could have exposed yourself to liability for not informing him. She 100% did the right thing!
Tom Brincefield 9 months ago
How does Lisa think he would have reacted if they got into a relationship and then he found out she had been endangering his life like that.
Tabitha 9 months ago (edited)
Or what about they didn’t get into a relationship but slept together once, before he finally figured out Lisa is such an awful person even her own “friends” don’t want to hang out with her, and he ended up HIV positive the rest of his life. He’s the innocent party here, and Lisa was never going to tell him how much risk she was going to expose him to so he could decide for himself if it was worth it. Detectable or not, infectious or not, he has a right to know, and she has the responsibility to tell him.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
It can be in certain countries. HIV is easier to treat and keep in remission these days but still has the danger of turning into fullblown AIDS, which in itself is a form of GBH.
Load More Replies...
Paul Sloan 9 months ago
Maybe she should try hydroxychloroquine, Trump says it works for viruses.
Surly Scot 9 months ago
A lot of US States, and countries, it's illegal to have sexual contact with another person without disclosing you've got a positive HIV/AIDS diagnosis. Lisa is a horrible person and doesn't care about others health. She's not a friend or decent human being, get rid of her. For everyone else....ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. You have NO idea what another person is carrying, and life is not a video game, you get 1 health and no respawns!
David 9 months ago
Where I live, it is a felony with mandatory jail time if you knowingly infect someone with HIV, not to mention the civil suit, plus the person whose life you messed up
Load More Replies... Becca not Becky 9 months ago
This goes for everyone regardless of age, gender, sexuality, relationship status, etc. You are not entitled to s3x. At all. Everyone is entitled to make informed decisions though. If they don't want to be with you for ANY reason, that is their right. Maybe it sucks for you, but that's just how it is, especially with something like HIV involved.
The Doom Song 9 months ago
Lisa is a POS. Roomie absolutely did the right thing. The amount of possible infections that got stopped that day.....
Lyoness 9 months ago
If you're having sex, even in a monogamous relationship, you need to get tested. People lie about sex. A lot. Whether it's the number of partners they've had, if they had (or have) an STI, when the last time they were tested, and especially if they're cheating, you need to be tested so you can share your status. Using condoms is great but not 100% effective. If you're in a relationship, both of you should be tested and you need to show each other the results before you have sex. Even better is being tested every 6 to 12 months. And anyone who's offended for being asked is a giant red flag, because if there's nothing to hide they have no reason to object. It's for their partner's peace of mind and health. If they care about you at all they'll do it.
Lee Gilliland 9 months ago
No. STDs can kill someone undiagnosed. If the don't kill, they screwed up badly. They must be disclosed. I also don't think much of roomies morals, using people for whatever reason is not a nice thing.
Monkey To The West 9 months ago (edited)
I am a doctor, specialized in HIV-Medicine and this article makes me sad. It breaks down to the fact that people who are undetectable and take therapy regularly are not infectious. And we have no information if said woman is infectious. The likelihood that she was not infectious is very high as the vast majority who know their diagnosis and have access to medication are not detectable and thus can't infect other people with or without condoms (we can't know from the information provided, but that woman would indeed know). The interviewed doctor called it "significantly reduced" which falls suggest, that there is still a substantial risk for therapy-adherent people The level of hate some people show here is misplaced.and in some cases plain ugly. And while I don't think OP ist an a*****e, he still quite likely did the wrong thing out of ignorance of "Treatment as Prevention". The true risk of transmission lies with the people who are infected and do not know it.
Monkey To The West 9 months ago
https://www.hiv.gov/tasp <-- further information on the matter
Load More Replies... Crystal Taggart 9 months ago
WHO are the 1% of the people on this survey who would not tell someone they are at risk of a terrible disease???
Peeka_Mimi 9 months ago
My friend died of AIDS. Not being honest led to his death. So Lisa is a sh¡tty person and should be reported.
JayWantsACat 9 months ago
I started seeing someone who disclosed to me that she had genital herpes fairly early and, while was a deal breaker for me, I always appreciated that she was upfront about it.
Schmebulock 9 months ago
She was going to commit a crime and you could have exposed yourself to liability for not informing him. She 100% did the right thing!
Tom Brincefield 9 months ago
How does Lisa think he would have reacted if they got into a relationship and then he found out she had been endangering his life like that.
Tabitha 9 months ago (edited)
Or what about they didn’t get into a relationship but slept together once, before he finally figured out Lisa is such an awful person even her own “friends” don’t want to hang out with her, and he ended up HIV positive the rest of his life. He’s the innocent party here, and Lisa was never going to tell him how much risk she was going to expose him to so he could decide for himself if it was worth it. Detectable or not, infectious or not, he has a right to know, and she has the responsibility to tell him.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
It can be in certain countries. HIV is easier to treat and keep in remission these days but still has the danger of turning into fullblown AIDS, which in itself is a form of GBH.
Load More Replies... Paul Sloan 9 months ago
Maybe she should try hydroxychloroquine, Trump says it works for viruses.
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