Lady Reports Gay Colleague To HR For Constantly Using Women’s Restroom, He Calls Her Out

When it comes to the corporate world, I don’t think there’s any shortage of drama, as every workplace has that “one person”. You know, the one who loves to brew up unnecessary trouble and create problems not just for themselves but for their coworkers, too?

Even this woman got caught in a conflict with such a fellow, who is a new hire and an openly gay man. She found it highly uncomfortable that he kept using the women’s restroom, so she confronted him. He just brushed off her concerns, so she had to get HR involved, but that gave rise to extra drama!

More info: Reddit

Not everyone is lucky to have a drama-free workplace, and some are just like a badly-made soap opera

Man adjusting tie in a men's restroom mirror, reflecting discomfort in an unsafe and gross bathroom setting.

Image credits: javi_indy / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The new hire in the poster’s workplace is an openly gay man, but he keeps using the women’s restroom

Text excerpt about a gay man finding the men's restroom unsafe and using the women's restroom at work.

Text excerpt describing a gay man finding the men's restroom unsafe and using the ladies' restroom instead, causing a female colleague to be fed up.

Image credits: ZeroFilterZoe

Two colleagues in office hallway having a serious discussion about men's restroom safety and female colleague frustration.

Image credits: user6699736 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

When she confronted him, he claimed the men’s restroom was gross and unsafe, and he wouldn’t check out anyone in the women’s one

Text excerpt discussing a gay man avoiding men's restroom due to safety concerns and a female colleague's frustration.

Text explaining HR restroom policy reminding to use facility matching gender or single-occupancy restroom with no exceptions.

Image credits: ZeroFilterZoe

Young gay man with curly hair standing indoors, reflecting on men's restroom being unsafe and using the ladies’ restroom instead.

Image credits: Anna Tolipova / Freepik (not the actual photo)

This didn’t sit right with her, as it made her extremely uncomfortable, so she got HR involved, and they sent out an email

Text excerpt discussing a gay man choosing the women’s restroom due to safety and cleanliness concerns.

Text excerpt discussing discomfort with a male colleague using the ladies’ restroom, highlighting feelings of being unsafe.

Image credits: ZeroFilterZoe

Instead of admitting his fault, the man accused the poster of being “homophobic”, which really hurt her

Today’s story is quite frustrating as the original poster (OP) tells us how the new hire at her workplace made things difficult for her. This man is openly gay, but the poster saw him use the women’s restroom multiple times. I mean, the company has a men’s washroom, along with a single-occupancy common one, so this is indeed strange of him.

Well, when it happened again, OP straightaway asked him whether he was aware that it was the women’s restroom, and he just laughed. Apparently, the men’s one was gross, and he finds this one safer. Moreover, he also added that since he is gay, there wasn’t any chance that we would “check anyone out”. There’s definitely no reasoning with people like him, is there?

He just brushed off the poster’s concern that she didn’t feel comfortable with him in the same restroom. That was probably the last straw for her, because she reported it to HR, who instantly took action. They sent out an email that people have to stick to the gendered washrooms. Alas, the man found out that OP was behind this, and boy was he mad.

Instead of accepting his mistake, he told people that the poster is “homophobic”, and she just couldn’t believe it. Of course, she was hurt because that was never an issue for her. Some other colleagues told her that she should have just “looked the other way”, but she shouldn’t have to when it’s not her fault in the slightest. Even Redditors instantly sided with her when she vented online.

Restroom sign showing male and female symbols indicating a shared or unisex bathroom entrance.

Image credits: Duc Van / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

To get a deeper insight into workplace dynamics when such incidents happen, Bored Panda got in touch with Apoorva Kale, an industrial and organizational psychology practitioner. She strongly believes that education plays a big role in ensuring LGBTQ+ inclusion while also respecting everyone’s privacy in gendered spaces.

“When people understand the difference between gender identity and their orientation, and why inclusive policies matter, things get a lot less awkward. A little training or open conversation can go a long way in helping people feel more comfortable and less quick to judge or misunderstand,” she noted.

Our expert also explained that when an employee is accused of being discriminatory or “homophobic” for raising a boundary-related concern, the impact can be serious. She claimed that it can be extremely distressing, especially if they intended to uphold a reasonable boundary, not to target anyone. 

Apoorva also narrated that this can lead to social isolation, loss of trust among coworkers, and even reputational damage that lingers, regardless of the facts. “The employee may also hesitate to speak up in the future, which can contribute to feelings of anxiety, guilt, or resentment, and potentially affect their performance or desire to stay with the company,” she elaborated.

Lastly, Apoorva stressed that ultimately, it’s the company’s responsibility to handle such delicate matters with utmost sensitivity. She concluded that things can be better only when organizations create an environment where respect, education, and fairness guide every interaction. Well, it seems like the man needs proper training, and I really hope he gets it.

If you were in OP’s shoes, what would you do? Let us know in the comments below!

Folks were aghast and called him out for using his gender identity to create a hostile environment for the poster

Comment discussing gender issues and restroom policies in relation to safety concerns of a gay man using ladies’ restroom.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a workplace issue about a gay man avoiding men's restroom, causing tension with a female colleague.

Comment discussing a gay man's use of the ladies’ restroom due to men's restroom being unsafe and a female colleague’s frustration.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing men’s restrooms being unsafe and gross, and opinions on restroom cleanliness.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a gay man finding the men’s restroom unsafe and using the ladies’ instead.

Comment discussing a gay man finding men's restroom unsafe and a female colleague's frustration over his bathroom choice.

Comment discussing a gay man finding the men’s restroom unsafe and gross, preferring to use the ladies’ restroom instead.

Forum comment discussing a gay man finding the men's restroom unsafe and a female colleague being fed up.

Comment expressing discomfort with gay men using women's restroom, discussing boundaries and safety concerns.

Comment discussing political terms as bullying and urging HR to be informed about the gay man finding men's restroom unsafe.

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