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Woman Called Stingy For Wanting To Know Where Her Money Goes After Coworker Starts Acting Weird
Interview With ExpertMoney matters are a touchy subject. It’s why you don’t talk about salaries outside of your significant other, and why rifts can easily trigger when there is cash involved in the conversation.
This is what happened between a group of colleagues when one employee set up a money pool to fund activities outside of work. One of his coworkers then asked for a cost breakdown, to which he responded with volatility and gaslighting.
To make matters worse, the woman who wanted to see where the money was going was also ostracized by the entire team.
RELATED:
Drama erupted among a group of employees after one of them set up a money pool
Image credits: prostooleh/Freepik (not the actual photo)
The rift arose after a woman asked for a cost breakdown, for which she was ostracized
Image credits: Super-Ad-2617
Shady behavior when handling money doesn’t always happen out of malicious intent
It’s understandable to fault the fund manager for his questionable actions. He’s handling his coworkers’ hard-earned money, and refusing to provide a cost breakdown will raise alarm bells.
However, his intentions may not necessarily be malicious right off the bat. According to REAP Financial CEO Chris Heerlein, one reason they behave in such a manner is the pressure of their obligation, compounded by possible status anxiety.
“The stress kicks in, and suddenly they’re acting funny. Nine out of ten, they have no intention to rip you off. They’re just panicking and not wanting everyone to know they’re broke,” Heerlein told Bored Panda.
Parikh Financial CFO and managing director Ravi Parikh says the lack of financial literacy could also be at play, along with communication issues. As he noted, people typically assume others would agree to certain expenses without confirming.
CPA Paul Carlson says it could also be a control issue. A person managing funds could have an “I’ll do it my way” approach, while forgetting that transparency matters when money and other people are involved. However, is automatic suspicion warranted?
“Healthy skepticism is fine, but don’t assume the worst without getting any answers,” Carlson noted, adding that someone refusing to show a cost breakdown is a signal to ask for more clarity, while assuring the person that you’re not assuming the worst, but instead, reiterating that you deserve to know.
What is the proper approach here? Parikh says it should be about empathy first.
“Instead of stating that something is drastically wrong, you can say that you noticed that the numbers don’t add up. Say that it can be a mistake or even a misunderstanding,” he advised.
Carlson shared a similar piece of advice, although he focused on the tone of the conversation. He emphasized neutrality and factuality without making accusations, and making the intention all about finding clarity.
“They’ll be more likely to cooperate when you frame the conversation as a shared responsibility,” he noted.
However, the woman in the story had to deal with getting piled on by her colleagues, which was unnecessary. She could bring up the matter with HR, who are better equipped to handle such issues and make final decisions.
The author provided more information about her story
Many commenters thought her request was reasonable
However, some people faulted her for supposedly causing drama
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What do you think ?
Janelle Collard 4 days ago (edited)
If *I'm* contributing *my* money to some fund, I deserve to know what it's being spent on. Don't wanna tell me? Then no more money for you! ("I'm spending my money on getting my toenails waxed!" tell that to the POS.)
Lee Gilliland 4 days ago
I have no doubt this may be innocent and that he is probably running his b**t off doing this, but if you get into money somebody's gonna want accountability.
Peripheral Visionary 3 days ago
A job is supposed to be where you go to MAKE money not spend it. F off with these stupid social things.
Tabitha 3 days ago
The YTAs must be Liam and/or his flying monkeys. This isn’t some casual friends or family thing, it’s a work thing. How f*****g hard is it to open an Excel sheet to create a file for the birthday cake, etc fund? Then to log how much was collected and from whom, then how much each purchase made came to? It’s a good way to not get caught short and have to make up the difference out of his own pocket, considering how much even the cheapest birthdays cakes cost these days. If OP isn’t eating the cake or whatever that’s bought with the find, they shouldn’t contribute. If they are, they should. But I agree that there should be some kind of spreadsheet started to track money in and money out, because of prices keep going up, I’m sure Liam doesn’t want to have to pay more than his share, so could ask for more in contributions if there isn’t enough. It covers him as much as anyone else, so his behavior is suspect.
K Barnes 4 days ago
We have a couple funds at work like this, they're 10-20$ a year each (optional) depending how much is leftover from the prior year. I appreciate that those running them are giving their personal time to do something for the whole team and don't think they should have to keep all the receipts and a spreadsheet for a couple hundred dollars. If it was a large amount then it would be prudent to do so. So I disagree with OP that the amount doesn't matter. I also think OP is right to opt out if they're not comfortable, nothing wrong with that.
Kit Black 4 days ago
10 a year isn't the same as 10 a month - and we don't even know how many employees are contributing
Load More Replies...
Nicole Mann 3 days ago
I think most people are missing her point. She expected to contribute to an optional work social fund, but the person running refuses to tell her WHAT the money is spent on. That's why the cost doesn't matter. The fact that the person collecting the money refuses to tell her what the money goes to is the problem. You only refuse if you are doing something wrong. We had a fund like this and knew exactly what the money was being used for specifically so the company didn't get accused of pocketing the money in case people didn't feel it was being spent right.
Jonas Fisher 3 days ago
Part of OP's premise is insane. Tracking her expenses means knowing where she spends her money. It doesn't mean getting a detailed breakdown of how that money is then spent by others. Does she go to the grocery store demanding a full outlay of how the grocery store spends the $4 she spent on grapes? No. She sees the results. I'm sure Liam is just chucking the cash into a box in his desk, and then taking out what he needs when he buys cakes or whatever. He's not tracking things over time, and at this point, it would likely be impossible to know how to account for the $51.73 currently in the box. OP is nuts.
Ffion Jones 2 days ago
I work in finance, I would absolutely be keeping a spreadsheet and giving a copy to anyone who asks. Otherwise how TF are you going to know how much money is in the fund at any one time??
Mike F 3 days ago
What the YTA flying monkeys aren't taking into account is, yeah, it's only $10, but that is $120 in a year. I don't know about most folks but that $ will buy a couple of tanks of gas. It would also pay my power bill for a month. They have no concept of $ apparently. Good hearted Liam should have been giving people a (very simple) monthly breakdown of what the $ is going towards. It will take 2 minutes, max. The dude is buying some lunch with that cash, his own.
J R 3 days ago
NTA, and the YTAs are crazy. Yes, it's optional. Yes, she could just say no. But if you're giving money to something, you have a right to have a basic overview of what it's being used for. Maybe that's an official list or maybe that's seeing it when you have the office party or whatever, but something's fishy about him giving her such an issue and being unprofessional. He's taking advantage of her being new and inexperienced to treat her in an unprofessional way. I'm not saying he's definitely spending it on himself, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's taking a cut. At the very least he has different ideas of what "optional" means.
Science Nerd 3 days ago
He may not be pocketing any of the money, but its possible that the money might not be distributed evenly across the co-workers.
david kichi 1 day ago (edited)
If it was a voluntary fund, why would Liam keep asking her about her contribution? Something is suss. Also, if he's deliberately avoiding the issue of accountability without a good reason, he's obviously spending it on his own needs. The OP came up with a good question that everyone should follow. Reminds me of when I worked part time at the Post Office and their Union asked us all to join the Union and most of us unknowingly did except one dude. Turns out as beginners, they couldnt help us if we had trouble despite collecting almost $100 in dues biweekly was it.
Apatheist Account2 3 days ago
Normal people would keep some sort of track so that they don't overspend what's coming in.
Dragon mama 3 days ago
For *ten* fvcking dollars!! This girl has sealed her fate. Time to look for a new job OP.
AtMostAFabulist 4 days ago (edited)
$10 a month is $120 a year. It doesn't seem like much, but let's say you have 10 people contributing. $1200 a year. I think that would be worth at least some nominal tracking. And what does being the newest employee mean? She should play dumb and shut up? I dont think so.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 4 days ago (edited)
If *I'm* contributing *my* money to some fund, I deserve to know what it's being spent on. Don't wanna tell me? Then no more money for you! ("I'm spending my money on getting my toenails waxed!" tell that to the POS.)
Lee Gilliland 4 days ago
I have no doubt this may be innocent and that he is probably running his b**t off doing this, but if you get into money somebody's gonna want accountability.
Peripheral Visionary 3 days ago
A job is supposed to be where you go to MAKE money not spend it. F off with these stupid social things.
Tabitha 3 days ago
The YTAs must be Liam and/or his flying monkeys. This isn’t some casual friends or family thing, it’s a work thing. How f*****g hard is it to open an Excel sheet to create a file for the birthday cake, etc fund? Then to log how much was collected and from whom, then how much each purchase made came to? It’s a good way to not get caught short and have to make up the difference out of his own pocket, considering how much even the cheapest birthdays cakes cost these days. If OP isn’t eating the cake or whatever that’s bought with the find, they shouldn’t contribute. If they are, they should. But I agree that there should be some kind of spreadsheet started to track money in and money out, because of prices keep going up, I’m sure Liam doesn’t want to have to pay more than his share, so could ask for more in contributions if there isn’t enough. It covers him as much as anyone else, so his behavior is suspect.
K Barnes 4 days ago
We have a couple funds at work like this, they're 10-20$ a year each (optional) depending how much is leftover from the prior year. I appreciate that those running them are giving their personal time to do something for the whole team and don't think they should have to keep all the receipts and a spreadsheet for a couple hundred dollars. If it was a large amount then it would be prudent to do so. So I disagree with OP that the amount doesn't matter. I also think OP is right to opt out if they're not comfortable, nothing wrong with that.
Kit Black 4 days ago
10 a year isn't the same as 10 a month - and we don't even know how many employees are contributing
Load More Replies... Nicole Mann 3 days ago
I think most people are missing her point. She expected to contribute to an optional work social fund, but the person running refuses to tell her WHAT the money is spent on. That's why the cost doesn't matter. The fact that the person collecting the money refuses to tell her what the money goes to is the problem. You only refuse if you are doing something wrong. We had a fund like this and knew exactly what the money was being used for specifically so the company didn't get accused of pocketing the money in case people didn't feel it was being spent right.
Jonas Fisher 3 days ago
Part of OP's premise is insane. Tracking her expenses means knowing where she spends her money. It doesn't mean getting a detailed breakdown of how that money is then spent by others. Does she go to the grocery store demanding a full outlay of how the grocery store spends the $4 she spent on grapes? No. She sees the results. I'm sure Liam is just chucking the cash into a box in his desk, and then taking out what he needs when he buys cakes or whatever. He's not tracking things over time, and at this point, it would likely be impossible to know how to account for the $51.73 currently in the box. OP is nuts.
Ffion Jones 2 days ago
I work in finance, I would absolutely be keeping a spreadsheet and giving a copy to anyone who asks. Otherwise how TF are you going to know how much money is in the fund at any one time??
Mike F 3 days ago
What the YTA flying monkeys aren't taking into account is, yeah, it's only $10, but that is $120 in a year. I don't know about most folks but that $ will buy a couple of tanks of gas. It would also pay my power bill for a month. They have no concept of $ apparently. Good hearted Liam should have been giving people a (very simple) monthly breakdown of what the $ is going towards. It will take 2 minutes, max. The dude is buying some lunch with that cash, his own.
J R 3 days ago
NTA, and the YTAs are crazy. Yes, it's optional. Yes, she could just say no. But if you're giving money to something, you have a right to have a basic overview of what it's being used for. Maybe that's an official list or maybe that's seeing it when you have the office party or whatever, but something's fishy about him giving her such an issue and being unprofessional. He's taking advantage of her being new and inexperienced to treat her in an unprofessional way. I'm not saying he's definitely spending it on himself, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's taking a cut. At the very least he has different ideas of what "optional" means.
Science Nerd 3 days ago
He may not be pocketing any of the money, but its possible that the money might not be distributed evenly across the co-workers.
david kichi 1 day ago (edited)
If it was a voluntary fund, why would Liam keep asking her about her contribution? Something is suss. Also, if he's deliberately avoiding the issue of accountability without a good reason, he's obviously spending it on his own needs. The OP came up with a good question that everyone should follow. Reminds me of when I worked part time at the Post Office and their Union asked us all to join the Union and most of us unknowingly did except one dude. Turns out as beginners, they couldnt help us if we had trouble despite collecting almost $100 in dues biweekly was it.
Apatheist Account2 3 days ago
Normal people would keep some sort of track so that they don't overspend what's coming in.
Dragon mama 3 days ago
For *ten* fvcking dollars!! This girl has sealed her fate. Time to look for a new job OP.
AtMostAFabulist 4 days ago (edited)
$10 a month is $120 a year. It doesn't seem like much, but let's say you have 10 people contributing. $1200 a year. I think that would be worth at least some nominal tracking. And what does being the newest employee mean? She should play dumb and shut up? I dont think so.
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