“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Mom I Won’t Help With Sister’s Wedding Prep After Giving Birth?”

Ah, maternity leave—the mythical time when new moms can supposedly lounge around, snuggle their baby, and sleep in spades. However, in the eyes of some family members, it’s a perfect chance to become an unpaid wedding planner.

And that was the situation today’s Original Poster (OP) found herself in—in a battle of priorities when her mother insisted she take on wedding prep duties right after giving birth. Because, apparently, cutting out paper hearts is a top-tier postpartum activity.

More info: Reddit

The postpartum period can be so draining, and every other thing just takes a back seat

Pregnant woman in lace dress sitting cross-legged on a bed, holding her belly, symbolizing motherhood challenges.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The author was eight months pregnant but managed to perform all her maid of honor duties for her sister’s wedding planning

Text conversation expressing mom's guilt-trip about wedding help after daughter's delivery.

Text about a first-time mom discussing financial concerns and limited maternity leave.

Text describes a pregnant woman preparing for her sister's wedding while managing personal responsibilities.

Image credits: pax_et_veritas

Bride embraces a guest during a wedding reception, with seated attendees and floral decorations in the background.

Image credits: freepic.diller / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Her mom kept hinting that even after the baby was born, she would still be helping out with the wedding plans

Text discussing a mom's request for her pregnant daughter to help with sister's wedding shortly after delivery.

Text message about being preoccupied with a newborn, discussing brushed-off concerns.

Text message exchange about being guilt-tripped to help with sister's wedding despite pregnancy.

Image credits: pax_et_veritas

Pregnant woman smiling at baby clothes while man assembles a crib in nursery.

Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

She tried to explain to her mom that she would be too busy with the baby to continue helping out

Quote discussing mom guilt about helping with a wedding shortly after delivery.

Text from a conversation about expecting help with house chores after baby's birth, relating to mom guilt.

Text excerpt discussing mom guilt over helping with sister's wedding post-delivery.

Text about guilt-tripping a pregnant daughter regarding tasks and promises.

Image credits: pax_et_veritas

Pregnant woman on phone looking concerned while sitting on a sofa, discussing sister's wedding plans.

Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Her mom insisted that she should still be able to squeeze in some time when the baby napped

Text about mom guilt-tripping pregnant daughter regarding nursery preparation before labor.

Text from daughter discussing mom's guilt-trip about post-delivery wedding help, questioning if she's wrong.

Text about saying no to helping with sister's wedding duties a week after newborn arrives.

Text discussing breastfeeding plans impacting availability for sister's wedding participation.

Image credits: pax_et_veritas

However, when the author maintained that she wouldn’t be able to help, her mother started to guilt-trip her

As the maid of honor for her sister’s upcoming September wedding, the OP had already gone above and beyond in organizing the bridesmaids, managing dress fittings, and planning a bachelorette weekend while eight months pregnant. But her mom still expected her to continue helping even after she gave birth.

Her parents initially agreed to help out after the baby was born, which seemed like a much-needed relief. But then, her mom casually mentioned that she’d be bringing wedding crafts for her to work on once she was out of the hospital. The OP brushed it off at first, assuming she’d understand how exhausting caring for a newborn would be.

But when the request came up again—at 39 weeks pregnant—she realized her mom wasn’t backing down. The OP decided there and then that she would be too busy with her newborn to be able to keep helping with the wedding planning. Her mother, in turn, told her that when the baby fell asleep, she could always help.

Exhausted and out of patience, she told her mother exactly how little free time she’d have—between sleeping, baby care, and managing her home. Instead of understanding, her mother guilt-tripped her, claiming her grandparents would also be helping. It wasn’t that she was unwilling to help—she even pointed out that if they had given her wedding tasks before the baby arrived, she would have gladly done them.

Pregnant daughter looks frustrated as mom pressures her about sister's wedding in living room discussion.

Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)

According to The Mother Chapter, life with a newborn is a huge adjustment, often leaving parents exhausted and overwhelmed. Between sleepless nights, recovery, and new responsibilities, many things take a back seat. This is why taking on extra tasks—like planning a wedding—right after childbirth can feel completely unrealistic.

This is why the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists emphasizes that postpartum care is just as important as prenatal care, as complications can still arise. A strong support system of family, friends, and healthcare professionals is essential for a new mother’s recovery and well-being.

Having help is crucial during this period. This is why postpartum support should focus on assisting the OP, not adding extra responsibilities like wedding tasks, which can add unnecessary stress during an already demanding time.

Mom Therapy Chicago suggests setting boundaries is very important, especially with one’s own parents, if they tend to be overbearing. However, they acknowledge that this is a challenge for new moms. While their intentions may be good, new moms don’t have to agree to every visit or piece of advice. Clear communication is key, and there’s no need to justify every decision either.

Netizens emphasized that postpartum recovery is an intense period that requires a lot of rest and focus on the baby. Many stressed that maternity leave is realistically not a vacation but a time for healing, adjusting, and simply surviving those early weeks.

Others called out her mother’s lack of empathy and advised the OP to set firmer boundaries.

What do you think about this situation? Do you think the new mom should have set even firmer boundaries, or was her response reasonable?

Netizens suggested that the author rethink her mother’s visit altogether, given her disregard for her daughter’s postpartum needs

Reddit discussion on mom guilt-tripping pregnant daughter; comments and replies in a thread.

Text exchange about mom's involvement in sister's wedding planning, highlighting potential family favoritism.

Reddit comment discussing post-delivery recovery and the importance of protecting the initial weeks after birth.

Reddit comment about setting boundaries and dealing with new motherhood stress and mom guilt.

Reddit comment discusses mom guilt, advising rest for new moms facing family pressure.

Reddit comment discussing "mom guilt" and new motherhood exhaustion.

Comment discussing mom guilt, emphasizing lack of time for crafts after childbirth, mentioning postpartum challenges.

Text advising new mother on postpartum recovery and support, emphasizing rest and self-care post-delivery.

Reddit comment discusses mom guilt with a pregnant daughter, emphasizing support for new mothers postpartum.

Comment discussing mom guilt surrounding wedding responsibilities.

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!