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Teen Won’t Babysit His 3 Stepsiblings As Their Mom Is Terminally Ill, Takes Heat From Dad
Let’s be honest, regular family life comes with its ups and downs, but being part of a blended family can be the whole theme park experience. It gets even trickier if there are teenagers in the mix who get roped into responsibilities they never signed up for.
One teen, who’d much rather hang out with his mom, is forced by legal stuff to do time with his distant dad, stepmom, and three stepsiblings. Not exactly winning the family lottery, right? When his dad demanded he start babysitting the kids permanently (because nothing says “quality time” like involuntary childcare), he straight-up refused, and that’s when things got ugly.
More info: Reddit
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Life in a regular family comes with its curveballs, but blended family life can be like standing at the wrong end of a three-story driving range
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One teen, who prefers to live with his mom, found himself forced by law to spend time with his emotionally distant dad, stepmom, and three stepsiblings, all under 8
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When his stepmom got ill, his dad started demanding he spend even more time with them, complete with babysitting duties he never signed up for
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When he told his dad there was no chance, his dad threw a text tantrum, calling him a jerk and accusing him of abandoning the kids when they needed a big brother
Image credits: Silly-Kangaroo-5309
The teen clapped back, claiming that the dad was “hardly a parent,” but still turned to an online community to ask if he was being a jerk for giving forced childcare a skip
The 16-year-old original poster (OP) shared that he mostly lives with his mom, only seeing his dad every other weekend. His dad is married to Shana, who has three kids, all under 8. The arrangement was working out fine until life threw everyone a curveball: Shana got a cancer diagnosis, and his dad pushed him to start babysitting so she could rest up and get treatment. Plot twist: he’s not interested.
He explains that he’s never been close to his dad, Shana, or her kids, and doesn’t want to be forced into a phony “big happy family” relationship. Every time he shows up at their place, they’re already guilt-tripping him into childcare duty anyway, so his refusal to play nanny has upset everyone, especially since Shana has no family nearby.
When Shana had a nasty reaction to treatment, his dad demanded he drop everything and babysit on the double so she could rest and possibly head to the ER. When he said no again, his dad unleashed a phone-bombing campaign, throwing around words like “cruel” and “ungrateful.”
But OP fired back, telling his dad he was barely a parent himself, so Shana wasn’t one either. Absolute mic-drop moment. Now he’s accused of being heartless for refusing to step up. But from where OP’s sitting, it’s pretty unfair to force someone into a role they never auditioned for, much less accepted. Frustrated, he turned to an online community for a sense check.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
From what OP tells us, his dad was never really there for him, so it’s pretty rich of him to ask him to suddenly step up, and into a parenting role, no less. We’ve all met them – people who strut through life thinking the world owes them something.
But OP’s problem goes deeper than just entitlement. The pros call it parentification, and it’s pretty much when a kid gets dumped into a parenting position way before they’re ready. It often starts with an innocent: “Hey, can you watch your sister for an hour?” Before you know it, it’s full-blown parenting and you find yourself running a mini daycare.
But here’s what people forget: kids aren’t built for that kind of pressure. So, over time, parentification can absolutely wreck their sense of independence, crank up anxiety to eleven, torch their relationships, and even lead straight to burnout city.
Yup, burnout isn’t restricted to cubicle farms; it happens to teens, too. When every free minute is gobbled up by chores, grades, and childcare, stress can ramp up fast. If a teen’s running on empty 24/7 while watching their social life disappear into the void, something’s going to snap. And trust us, it won’t be pretty when it does.
What do you think? Is OP being unreasonable, or is it time his dad got a reality check? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers mostly asked the teen what his dad’s family’s problem was with Shana, but seemed to agree he wasn’t the jerk in the whole mess
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What do you think ?
Tabitha 2 months ago
No one is asking the obvious question: WhyTF isn’t OP’s father the one to look after HIS stepkids, ffs? Why is he trying to force his bio son to babysit? What is HE going to be doing during that time? Yes, one would hope looking after his wife, but s****y people don’t stop being s****y when their partners get sick—-he seems to be the type to cheat when his wife is too sick for s*x, instead of just keeping his s**t in order, not be lead by his little brain, and turn his attention to his sick wife instead.
lenka 2 months ago
This was my first thought too. WhyTF isn't the father looking after the stepkids. HE is the one one pushing the whole family thing then he can get his s**t together and support his wife and kids.
Load More Replies...
J R 2 months ago
I mean, NTA. But I do feel for the stepmom in this situation. She needs someone to step in and help with the kids. Definitely not OP's obligation, but if the father can't be there often enough and OP isn't willing to babysit, the dad and stepmom need to look info getting some type of mother's helper. This is a really stressful situation for all involved. It must be incredibly physically and emotionally hard on her to have cancer. It must be hard on the dad to watch his wife go through this. And for OP's stepsibs to watch all of this. Again, doesn't mean OP needs to be the one to step in and help, but I don't get the feeling that the dad and stepmom are ahs so much as desperate and in need of help, and reacting poorly. I know some people will say, "That still makes them ahs!" But honestly? Can anyone say that if they or a loved one had cancer they'd always act perfectly?
Dusty's mom 2 months ago
OP and his mom need to call their lawyer about this. The time OP spends with his dad is supposed to be just that - WITH dad. The place that deals with my cancer helps people find child care. It can be covered by most insurances. The dad isn't using his "Dad Time" properly. Maybe OP, being 16, can renegotiate things. Being forced to watch kids isn't appropriate to the visitation agreement.
The Starsong Princess 2 months ago
If the dad isn’t there when op is there, he should just go home and keep a log of his stays. The judge is forcing him to have this relationship but cannot require him to stay for visitation when his dad isn’t present.
Gerry Higgins 2 months ago
NTA but Kindness is always a choice. This is an extreme circumstance and it wouldn't k**l you to help out an babysit. It's not permanent, in a couple months the treatments will be done. Man up and help your dad out. Then he'll owe you big time when it's time for a graduation present like a car or something haha
1LittleGranny64 6 days ago
The father can hire a babysitter but likely doesn’t want to spend the money.
Kate Johnson 2 months ago
I certainly hope, given his attitude that he expects nothing from his father after he turns 18. Because just like the son has no obligation to help out, after he's 18, the father no longer has any obligation to help him out in any way either. What comes around goes around.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 months ago (edited)
You knew here? BP is appropriating currently top or hot posts from Reddit and other sites that creates the original content. They then editorialize that content, which transforms it and allows for the fair use appropriation. The BP editors are not sitting in their offices in Vilnius scouring Reddit for cool new posts. They’re looking for hot & top posts currently getting a lot of traffic, no matter the age. It’s the Reddit users who are resurrecting old post and engaging with them. That makes them current top or hot posts.
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 2 months ago
No one is asking the obvious question: WhyTF isn’t OP’s father the one to look after HIS stepkids, ffs? Why is he trying to force his bio son to babysit? What is HE going to be doing during that time? Yes, one would hope looking after his wife, but s****y people don’t stop being s****y when their partners get sick—-he seems to be the type to cheat when his wife is too sick for s*x, instead of just keeping his s**t in order, not be lead by his little brain, and turn his attention to his sick wife instead.
lenka 2 months ago
This was my first thought too. WhyTF isn't the father looking after the stepkids. HE is the one one pushing the whole family thing then he can get his s**t together and support his wife and kids.
Load More Replies... J R 2 months ago
I mean, NTA. But I do feel for the stepmom in this situation. She needs someone to step in and help with the kids. Definitely not OP's obligation, but if the father can't be there often enough and OP isn't willing to babysit, the dad and stepmom need to look info getting some type of mother's helper. This is a really stressful situation for all involved. It must be incredibly physically and emotionally hard on her to have cancer. It must be hard on the dad to watch his wife go through this. And for OP's stepsibs to watch all of this. Again, doesn't mean OP needs to be the one to step in and help, but I don't get the feeling that the dad and stepmom are ahs so much as desperate and in need of help, and reacting poorly. I know some people will say, "That still makes them ahs!" But honestly? Can anyone say that if they or a loved one had cancer they'd always act perfectly?
Dusty's mom 2 months ago
OP and his mom need to call their lawyer about this. The time OP spends with his dad is supposed to be just that - WITH dad. The place that deals with my cancer helps people find child care. It can be covered by most insurances. The dad isn't using his "Dad Time" properly. Maybe OP, being 16, can renegotiate things. Being forced to watch kids isn't appropriate to the visitation agreement.
The Starsong Princess 2 months ago
If the dad isn’t there when op is there, he should just go home and keep a log of his stays. The judge is forcing him to have this relationship but cannot require him to stay for visitation when his dad isn’t present.
Gerry Higgins 2 months ago
NTA but Kindness is always a choice. This is an extreme circumstance and it wouldn't k**l you to help out an babysit. It's not permanent, in a couple months the treatments will be done. Man up and help your dad out. Then he'll owe you big time when it's time for a graduation present like a car or something haha
1LittleGranny64 6 days ago
The father can hire a babysitter but likely doesn’t want to spend the money.
Kate Johnson 2 months ago
I certainly hope, given his attitude that he expects nothing from his father after he turns 18. Because just like the son has no obligation to help out, after he's 18, the father no longer has any obligation to help him out in any way either. What comes around goes around.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 months ago (edited)
You knew here? BP is appropriating currently top or hot posts from Reddit and other sites that creates the original content. They then editorialize that content, which transforms it and allows for the fair use appropriation. The BP editors are not sitting in their offices in Vilnius scouring Reddit for cool new posts. They’re looking for hot & top posts currently getting a lot of traffic, no matter the age. It’s the Reddit users who are resurrecting old post and engaging with them. That makes them current top or hot posts.
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