Woman Refuses To Host Sister-In-Law Who Demanded A Vegan, Peanut-Free Home

Nut allergies can be pretty severe, so this is a strain on hosts in more than one way. I am not sure if I would be comfortable agreeing if she is deadly allergic. If it's moderate, I would ban all peanut related products and tell her she's welcome to come and cook for herself. As for non-vegan stuff, no sorry. She does not have to eat it, but your choice of diet is your choice and not something you have to move out of the way for her.

I would go so far as to remove all peanut products from my home (not that I own any, as I am ALSO allergic to peanuts). But removing all traces of meat, dairy, honey, gelatin, etc., is going too far. For one thing, it would cause a lot of food wastage, and for another, it would take a long time to read the ingredients of every food package in the house! I'd be fine with allowing the sister her own cabinet and refrigerator drawer to isolate her vegan products so she could SELF-cater, though.

Veganism is much like religion - have your lifestyle, don't force it on me.

She doesn't trust restaurants, but somehow she thinks OP is an expert on food allergy safety?

If someone is that allergic, it's up to them to deal with it. She has no right to impose on OP that way. And the whole vegan thing is s**t. OP's house, OP's rules. If you're allergic to peanuts I'll keep the peanut butter in the pantry while you're here, but I'm not disrupting my life to accommodate you. Petty? Maybe. But I don't care. Veganism is a cult. Holier than thou.

Op must tell her to f**k off, she's not her slave.

Different utensils for a severe allergy, absolutely. Cleaning up a bit extra, sure. But since nut allergies aren't airborne unless you blow nut dust in someone's face, throwing things out is way too excessive. I mean I don't really cook with peanut oil at all, but wouldn't it be super easy to just not cook with nuts for a week? As for the vegan part, give her separate food, cook in a different pan, but I'm sure af not going to change my diet for a week because someone has a different diet than me. Sure I won't cook her stuff in meat juices, I might make her stuff first so it doesn't get contaminated, but she can't expect her food choice to be treated as seriously as her allergy. Also a whole week? She can at the very least cook her own special meals if she's going to intrude a whole week.

Skogsrået

Skogsrået

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LoL, why is it OP:s responsability to accomodate and cook? Why is it always the women that has to tend to guests? Both OP and her husband work, it's his sister coming to visit and making demands. OP should let him deal with his sister like the adult he is.

Making sure she doesn't have nuts or nut butters and oils used during her stay is reasonable. There's no reason why they can't be in her pantry. There's no reason to toss out that jar of peanut butter or bottle of peanut oil. Or the bacon in the fridge for that matter. Bottom line is the sister is coming for a work related conference so her work needs to pay for her accommodations at a hotel. She needs to tell SIL that a couch in her non-vegan, peanut butter loving home will not be more comfortable than the Holiday Inn.

There's a difference between being accommodating and a doormat...I would've told her to get a hotel.

My roommate is vegan, I'm not. They cook their own food, I cook mine. It's not a problem if you choose to not make it one.

I've been a vegetarian for over 30 years, and I have a lot of allergies. I always manage to find something I can eat, and I never make my diet another person's problem. Most of the time, unless someone asks me if I like steak, for example, they never even know I am vegetarian. I would never try to cook for a meat eater. Likewise, she should tell the SIL that she can't cook for a vegan and insist she cook for herself.

In this case, I'd be the AH without hesitation. I can keep nuts away from guests, but I'm not cooking for them, and I'm not washing my dishes after I cook chicken so I don't "contaminate" her cauliflower afterwards. And NO, I'm not removing animal products to make my own home "vegan friendly". She's what we call a Veganazi. The type of cliche that makes everyone hate vegans. She can stay in a hotel somewhere and demand they clean the kitchenette to remove any "animal" contaminants that may be left behind. Oh, that's right, her kind want new pots and pans that meat has never touched.

Peanut free- yes, you will accommodate that. Assuming this is your husband’s sister, everything else is on him. If it’s your relative, tell her you will ensure everything is peanut free but that’s it, her choice.

SIL should just book an Airbnb with a small kitchen and bring her own utensils and cook for herself. She tries to "Airbnb plus free live-in maid" with her OP. 🙄

Just tell her to sod off and eat peanuts in front of her the min she steps in house, wonder how long before she books a hotel for the week

If the SIL is attending a conference I assume that her employer would be forking out for accommodation? Is SIL hoping to pocket that and stay with OP? Also, my leather shoes and a leather jacket are "non vegan" should I throw them away to comply?

Her requests regarding her allergy are fair: it's literally her life on the line. She's also fully within her rights to be vegan (I also don't like my food being cooked in a pan that has traces of animal products in it). But if this is a city where prices are "sky high" it's not a small city. I live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest cities are all small, but I've found fantastic vegan restaurants and they tend to really respect people's dietary requirements. Admittedly, I don't have a life-threatening allergy, but I have a couple of friends who have very severe allergies (think, touch a bread crumb and you start itching, swelling up, might have difficulty breathing) and they trust those kinds of restaurants more than most, even though they aren't vegan themselves. I'm sure this city has options for this woman

I'm calling BS on this. First she says she doesn't *dislike* her SIL but they are not close. Then she says she loves her SIL, but ... which is it? That's why I'm calling BS.

As someone who is vegetarian, and have been vegan at times, this sounds ridiculous to me. She can ask them to stay and if they can make the home nut-free. And maybe ask if things can be cooked in different pots than meat or dairy items items. Again, ask. These are reasonable request. But they can't be demands when you're the guest. And to demand there are only vegan foods in the house? That's being an a-hole.

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I'm calling fake on this. There is no way anyone is that entitled and the husband that passive. Not in the real world.