Poly Lady With 2 Partners Wants To Attend Nephew’s B-Day, Bro Says Only Married Couples Allowed
Relationships don’t just come in one mold; they can vary and be adjusted to fit each person’s preferences. The problem is that not everyone is going to be on board with unconventional partnerships, and this might end up causing petty debates and conflicts.
This is what happened between a man and his sister, because he didn’t want to invite her long-term partners for his child’s first birthday. Even when she tried to explain her side of things, he shut her down and told her to get married to one of them first.
More info: Reddit
Although it can be difficult for people practicing monogamy to understand how polyamorous relationships work, it’s important to ask instead of judging
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that he had grown apart from his sister because she believed that being polyamorous was an innate part of her, rather than a lifestyle preference
Image credits: alexkoral / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since the man felt uncomfortable about his sister’s choices and her polycule, he only gave her one invite to his child’s birthday party
Image credits: anna_grant / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s sister tried to reason with him by saying that she had been dating her partners for 1.5 years and that they should be invited as well
Image credits: poly-sendhelp
The man got mad at his sister for confronting him and said that when she finally decides to marry one partner, he’ll give that person an invitation to all family events
It’s clear that the man struggled to understand his sister’s lifestyle choice, and that’s why he kept having debates with her about it. She felt that it was an innate part of her being, and that it wasn’t just a lifestyle preference, but he tried to convince her otherwise, and felt uncomfortable by her explanations.
According to therapists, polyamory is the practice of having multiple relationships with the consent of all the people involved. Since this way of intimacy is quite different from monogamy, folks might often struggle to understand it and also criticize the individuals who choose to participate in it.
That’s exactly what the poster kept doing to his sister, and he took it one step further by not inviting her partners to his child’s first birthday party. Even though his mom tried to be supportive and encouraged him to extend the invitation to his sibling’s polycule, he stayed firm on his decision.
In situations like this, people might worry about children learning what polyamory is, although experts explain that it might actually help to have open and honest discussions about the topic. Parents don’t have to expose their kids to the concept at a very young age, but once they become older, they can be given resources to understand it better.
Image credits: gorynvd / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman didn’t understand why her brother was making such a fuss about her relationship, and she told him that he was being ridiculous. She also explained to him that she had been dating her partners for over a year and a half, which is why they should also be invited to the party.
The man refused to accept his sister’s pleas and shut her down by telling her that once she married one of her partners, he’d then invite them to all future family events. It’s possible that the OP didn’t recognize his sibling’s polycule as a valid relationship structure and that he wanted her to “settle down” as he had.
It can be tough to deal with relatives and loved ones who don’t understand polyamory, but advisors explain that sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore the haters. Rather than constantly debating your point of view, it might just help to get some space from people who aren’t being supportive.
Luckily, the man decided to ask folks for advice on the situation with his sister, because he ended up getting a reality check about his behavior. Folks told him that he was being hypocritical and bigoted, which made him realize that he needed to apologize and treat his sibling better.
What are your opinions on polyamory, and do you think the man should invite both of his sister’s partners over for his child’s birthday? Let us know your thoughts and honest opinions on this situation.
Folks called out the man for discriminating against his sibling and told him to be more accepting of her long-term partners
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When you are of a non-"traditional" gender or séxuality or relationship preference, it does seem a bit odd to be attacking someone of a different non-"traditional" gender/séxuality/relationship preference. OP telling his sister she can't bring her boyfriends to family events until she "chooses which one she's going to marry" is about on par with if she told OP that he wasn't invited to any of her family events until he "married a woman". (As in, both things are unacceptable and intolerant.) It is fine to NOT include certain family members in your life events if you do not agree with their life choices or lifestyle, but telling someone in your family that they have to change who and what they are before they can come to your kid's b-day party is pretty awful. (btw, I use the word "traditional" earlier in the post not as an insult or as a discrimination or a way to make anyone feel excluded, but I wasn't sure how to encompass everything non-het/cis/monogamy easily.)
It's a 1 year old. They don't even know how to say cake, never mind polyamorous.
And someday down the road adjusting to the not that untraditional situation that its aunt dates different people will be a cinch comparing to getting used to society's take on it having two fathers.
Load More Replies...I would never have entered into the discussion. I would have just said, I'm inviting you alone, if you can't make it, I understand, end of discussion. IMO I have no obligation to entertain my sisters currents s****l interests in my home. They are NOTHING to me and I would have no interest in having them at my baby's party. If she can't disconnect from them for an afternoon, then oh well, I guess she misses out.
I assume that this would be your attitude to any of your siblings partners, and that you would be fine if your siblings treated you the same way.
Load More Replies...When you are of a non-"traditional" gender or séxuality or relationship preference, it does seem a bit odd to be attacking someone of a different non-"traditional" gender/séxuality/relationship preference. OP telling his sister she can't bring her boyfriends to family events until she "chooses which one she's going to marry" is about on par with if she told OP that he wasn't invited to any of her family events until he "married a woman". (As in, both things are unacceptable and intolerant.) It is fine to NOT include certain family members in your life events if you do not agree with their life choices or lifestyle, but telling someone in your family that they have to change who and what they are before they can come to your kid's b-day party is pretty awful. (btw, I use the word "traditional" earlier in the post not as an insult or as a discrimination or a way to make anyone feel excluded, but I wasn't sure how to encompass everything non-het/cis/monogamy easily.)
It's a 1 year old. They don't even know how to say cake, never mind polyamorous.
And someday down the road adjusting to the not that untraditional situation that its aunt dates different people will be a cinch comparing to getting used to society's take on it having two fathers.
Load More Replies...I would never have entered into the discussion. I would have just said, I'm inviting you alone, if you can't make it, I understand, end of discussion. IMO I have no obligation to entertain my sisters currents s****l interests in my home. They are NOTHING to me and I would have no interest in having them at my baby's party. If she can't disconnect from them for an afternoon, then oh well, I guess she misses out.
I assume that this would be your attitude to any of your siblings partners, and that you would be fine if your siblings treated you the same way.
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