81 Times Dumb Americans Were Completely Confident About Something That Wasn’t Even Remotely True
The U.S. and Americans don’t have the best image in the world right now. While a lot of ridicule is directed at their politicians, regular folks get their fair share of attention as well, especially tourists. In fact, more than one in four Europeans have a negative opinion of American tourists, with loudness cited as the most common flaw.
Another common stereotype about Americans is their lack of intelligence, but is that actually true? While it’s hard to measure the intellect of an entire nation, stories all over the internet suggest that some Americans have questionable logic and awareness.
Bored Panda has collected firsthand accounts from two separate online threads in which people from other countries shared the stupidest things they heard Americans say. And we have to be honest — the ‘Muricans don’t come out of them looking very smart.
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That we're the best country. I'm American and southern. I've heard all of the propaganda. There is no "best" country. Please, please, get over yourselves. There is no best race and there is no best way of thinking. We birthed this county under the idea that all men were created equal. I'm ashamed of those of you who disagree.
I'm Greek and had an American trying to correct the way I was saying some Greek letters because she was in a sorority and she knew the proper way.
She didn't.
So apparently Omega gets your comment hidden, but if you're a scammer then your comments are shown.. 😸
As an exchange student from Germany (high school, small town NY), I've been asked if we have cars in Germany. In that same conversation, they also questioned if we had fridges in Germany.
I was asked if I swam from Poland to the US. I said YES. Shortly after I was asked if they have cars in Poland. Hmm I said nope... just donkeys....
I visited the US back in 2001 for work in LA for a conference. I was sat in the lobby of the hotel i was staying at talking to the receptionist, a young lady came up to me and asked where i was from, I said "London" and she asked me "is that in France?". I swear to god the look the receptionist at the Hotel gave me said, "i'm soooo sorry, we are not all that stupid".
My brother used to be a park ranger. One time a lady asked him how long it took for a deer to become a moose. He said about 7 years.
I’m an Australian who once rode a motorcycle from New Orleans to New York City. I stopped in a very small town in Tennessee, so small I don’t even remember what it was called. I pulled up in a bar and asked for a beer, instantly a whole group of locals turned and recoiled at my accent. They asked what part of America I was from. I said I wasn’t, I was from Australia. They asked again, what part of America Australia was in. Sometimes you’ve gotta pick your battles. So I just got drunk with them instead.
I was overseas working in Ohio for a bit. A girl in front of me in line waiting to order at a takeaway diner:
"I like your shorts."
Me: "oh, thank you."
Girl: "you have a funny accent!"
Me: "probably yeah, I'm from the Netherlands."
Girl: "what's the Netherlands?"
Me: "it's a country in Europe."
Girl: "what's Europe?"
Me: "ummm... a continent with many countries on the other side of the ocean."
Girl: "cool. Do you have fun fairs there?"
Me: "....yes. yes, we do.".
I was at dinner with some friends and we were talking about something. One of my friends says something along the lines of "It's imaginary, like dragons and kangaroos." After like 30 seconds, another one of my friends goes "But wait, dragons are real..." completely serious. We've never let her live it down.
That as a Canadian, I don't have freedom. I was told (multiple times in my life), that I can't even understand what true freedom is. Spent my life 5 minutes from the border, but I'm too oppressed by my communist government to understand true freedom. Oh and we have crazy monopoly money because our money doesn't look like it was printed in 1860.
If English was good enough for Jesus it's good enough for us.
Met 2 separate Americans on different occasions that were travelling / moving to Canada and were both confused why we have roads and are not in a permanent winter with igloos every few blocks
Crazier story: road tripping with my family when we noticed a family of American tourists stopped at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere smearing peanut butter on their child’s face. We stopped and asked if everything was okay, and they said “yeah, just taking a few photos” little confused we look up and see a BEAR half a block away. THEY WANTED TO HAVE THE BEAR LICK PEANUT BUTTER OFF THEIR DAUGHTER’s FACE
Bro.
When I was in Las Vegas a couple approached me:
Them: "Hey! We love your accent! Where are you from?"
Me: "Wales."
Then: "Wales? Is that near Utah?"
I wish I was joking.
No, it is in the middle of the ocean. I know because my uncle was a whale.
Picture the scene, waiting for a train in San Francisco heading to LA. I got talking to a young family, mum, dad and a couple of kids. Chatting away for ten minutes or so and the mum said to me "I'm really trying to pinpoint your accent, are you Australian?"
"No I'm British"
"That's near Australia, though, right...?"
"...".
I used to work at a tool rental store. We got a letter from VISA telling us we could not accept unsigned cards, so we started checking. And sure enough, I got a guy that had an unsigned one. I told him I couldn't accept it unless he signed it, and he refused.
He said, "I never sign any of my cards. If I do it makes it easier for people to forge my signature."
I pointed out to him that if they were unsigned, they would not have to forge it. They could just sign the card. He just didn't understand that. I pointed out that he HAD to sign his driver's license. No difference. Refuse to sign the card and I refused to rent to him. He had a whole wallet of unsigned cards.
I have to say, working a job where I had to deal with the public seriously eroded my belief that people were intelligent.
Yeah working with the general public, it really is frightening the level of stupid that is out there. I work in a law firm and every time I think I have witnessed peak stupid, someone proves me wrong.
The ones that really sting are the ones where americans dont know their own information.
My girlfriend is an assistant teacher at an elementary school and the primary teacher was saying the United States have 52 states. After my girlfriend said its 50, she goes "oh no we added hawaii and alaska"
???? Yeah? In 1959 to be the 49th and 50th.
I overheard [someone] say she thought Europe was in Germany.
"Why is Alaska cold and Hawaii hot if they're both next to each other?" Girl I was in the military with. Some US maps have Alaska in its own frame next to Hawaii to save space. She believed Alaska was its own frozen island literally next to Hawaii.
If I remember correctly, she also believed lions were the males and tigers the females of one species.
Why don't European countries celebrate Thanksgiving will always be my favorite.
Well I voted for him because I just like that he's gonna shake things up, ya know?
I’m Scottish, I don’t have the strongest accents (but it’s definitely there). I’ve visited the US multiple times and can say that more than once I’ve been told my “English is really good” at the end of a conversation with someone.
Setting: my cousin's wedding in Mexico City, Mexico
My cousin's MIL said at least 5 times that I heard "Why are there so many Mexicans here?".
I was outside smoking a cigarette with a guy I know. It was winter so all the leaves were down from the trees. The wind started kicking up and he said "I can't believe it's so windy out. There's not even any leaves on the trees.". I paused for a second pondering what I just heard and I asked him "do you think the wind comes from trees?" He did. He was about 25 at the time!
And solarpanels suck the sun dry, and windfarms creates the wind and tornadoes?? /S!
I'm American, but I'm going to get in on this one.
I was staying at a hotel on the strip in Vegas, and I was in the little convenience store just trying to buy a Diet Coke, and a couple in front of me that were from Australia were trying to just buy a pack of cigarettes.
After about five attempts I knew the lady behind the register was never going to understand them so I offered to them 'Do you want me to translate for you?' and they were like 'We're speaking English,' and I was like, yeah, I know that, you know that, she doesn't know that, so they were like, fine.
So I translated for them and then after they got their cigarettes they kind of laughed and were like 'thanks, haha.'
And so when I was ordering my Diet Coke she was like 'That would have been so much easier if they spoke English,' and I was like, 'Yeah, they're from Australia they were speaking English.' She goes 'They don't speak English there,' and I was like, *don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, don't ask* 'What do you think they speak there?' and she goes, 'Australia-in-ish-ease.'
The hell?
I used to work at a craft beer bar. A patron asked me where Bell's Kalamazoo Stout was from. I told it was made by Bell's Brewing in Kalamazoo. She gave me a blank stare.
Me: "Uh, Kalamazoo? In Michigan?"
Her: "That's a real place? I thought that was a made-up place, like Abu Dhabi."
I just.......no.
I’m Italian, living in the US. I had this conversation more times than it’s recommended. Along these lines.
Them: “I love your accent! Where are you from?”
Me: “Italy.”
Them: “Oh wow! So you speak Spanish!”
Me: “No… I speak Italian…”
Them: “Oh but it’s *Italian Spanish*”
A lot of them were baffled knowing that Italian is it’s own language. A couple of them didn’t believe me. Ah… I hated being a waiter.
I was in Paris and overheard an American say very seriously to her friend 'American is the language, English is our accent.'
Aarrrrite babes.
I was in line at McDonalds in NYC and an American tourist was talking to a Brazilian tourist. When the Brazilian told her they speak Portuguese in Brazil she asked if that’s because Brazil is close to Portugal.
A German comedian (whose name I have sadly forgotten) did a bit about coming to the US and being in line at a McDonald's in NYC. "Such friendly people, New Yorkers." He ordered a Big Mac, fries, and a beer. The guy behind him said, "You can't get beer at a McDonald's, you idiot!" The comedian said, "And I felt sad. Then I felt happy, because I realized that meant he was there for the food."
I had a lady try to explain to me how the dinosaurs were just oddly shaped rocks or just rocks from other planets.
She was a bit... extreme in her religious beliefs.
I already knew why after reading the first part. Because this was Satan's way of dragging you from g o d?
In Canada, I heard another American saying that it didn't make sense that speed limits were higher (posted in km/h instead of miles/h), but temperatures were lower in Canada (Celsius vs Fahrenheit). He thought they should both be either higher or lower.
She said, "I wonder why Georgia is in a conflict with Russia. Isn't that a state?"
This was in like 2008 or something. I looked at that woman and just shook my head.
Edit: And I am an American.
I am French and I studied in Clifton high school. One student once asked how we treated the native. I did not understand so she says the French Indian native. Like we colonized Europe.
To be frank, the question has some merit. In France, there were many local languages (e.g., Gascon, Norman, etc.) that were systematically eradicated after the Thirty Year War. By the French authorities.
I was talking to a lady in the navy who thought New Zealand was in Europe.
They let her on an aircraft carrier and that thought terrifies me.
Was asked for my ID at a Florida liquor store ( Im from Massachusetts) kind lady says " Arruda? What kind of last name is that" I replied "its portuguese" lady says" Ooo wow weres is the country of portuguese?" After a loud chuckle I responded " right next to Spanish... true story.
I'm American.
I asked a coworker if he was getting vaxxed for covid.......he said "No. It's a
COvert Vaccine ID. Educate yourself bro".
We have a number of British ex-pats here in southwest France who fervently believe that covid was fake, so it's not just the US.
An American dude told me that staring into the sun would heal your eyes... And his daughter heard it and she was like "oh my gosh why didn't you tell me this sooner???"
They laughed and both proceeded to stare at the sun while walking away.
I was in California for a delivery, parked beside me was a big truck. The driver ( from texas) asked me where im from. I said im from Canada. He was “ what? Cana…what? Where is that? Somewhere in Africa or Asia? My brain literally froze for some time. And he was like super serious. I had to educate him about the existence of a country in the north of the USA. He was mind blown.
I suspect all of the stupidest Americans have heard of Canada by now, while quite possibly still knowing absolutely nothing factual about us, considering the garbage Trump has been spewing. The official White House FB page posted an image today of a bald eagle pinning a Canada Goose to the ground. It gets harder by the day to believe that any of this is really happening. What has become of dignity in the United States?
An US citizen said that only they were real Americans. I told him: we are in America. There's North America, Central America and South America. Everyone that was born in this continent is an American. You are just a North American. Grow up.
I’m English living in the US driving a semi. I was once asked by a forklift driver where I was from. I said England and she said to me “Say something in your own language”.
Working for FedEx , I had a customer who was shipping a package to Mexico from the United States. He had filled out a domestic air bill for it, I told him he needed to fill out an international air bill since it was going to another country. He asked me what ocean does it have to cross.
Technically, it could cross the Gulf of Mexico, which is part of the Atlantic. So the question wasn't entirely stupid.
I was leaving an airport to get into a taxi and there was an Asian worker organizing the cabs. A lady with a family asked for a taxi for five people and with her hand showing five fingers she slowly yield CINCO. He was Asian.
When I was in Florida I was speaking to some cashier which couldn’t understand me to save my life because I’m Scottish so I toned down my accent for them but then they asked a question that made me lose all respect for them, “Where in England is Scotland at?”.
I was walking down the boardwalk in Venice beach at dusk with some people and the girl next to me points up and says "wow look, you can see the stars already and the sun hasn't even set! That's so crazy!”
To which I responded "well, technically the sun is also a star so it's not too crazy if you think about it."
She shoots me a condescending glare and says "Uh no! What are you talking about?!The sun isn't a star because it doesn't come out at night!"
I didn't look at or respond to her. The rest of our group just stayed very silent for about 10 seconds and kept walking until someone changed the subject.
We ditched her later on when she stopped to use the bathroom.
Back in 2000 I was in Florida on vacation with the family and we was shopping at one of the big outlet malls. On noticing I was British, the checkout employee asked me if I know the Queen. When I replied in the affirmative, she asked what she was like. I proceeded to tell her, what a great lady the Queen was and we all have afternoon tea with her on Sundays, but we all have a specific time slot so we have to be quick.
After a few more conversation changes she asked me if we have electricity in the UK and if it is less powerful than American electricity.
Wait until she hears about 230 volts and 400 volts being used in homes!
In 2009 I was travelling across the US with a group of 14 in a minibus, all from the UK and 1 Australian. On our way north we stopped at a diner in Mississippi for lunch. We were giving our orders to the very southern lady at the counter but when my Aussie friend asked for a cheeseburger, the lady just couldn’t seem to get what she was saying and to her “honey, I can’t understand a word you’re saying, are you French?’ She said “No, I’m Australian”. “Austrian?” Was the confused reply. I eventually ordered for both of us in my clearest English and got a surprised ‘well don’t you speak English proper good!’.
Lady was also a massive racist so……fun lunch.
I live in Canada, near the border. While working in a grocery store over the years, I have had *three separate Americans* inform me, in a snotty tone, that *everthing* in the store is expired.
The first time it happened, I had no clue why anyone would think that. Could he really believe that every single product in the store expired and he was the only person to notice? My flabber was well and truly gasted until he insisted, with scorn, that everything had expired in May. (Every time this happened, it was in June.)
I looked at the expiration date, and it clicked. I explained to him that when it says BB/MA, that stands for Best Before / Meilleur Avant, because we have French on all the packaging. If you look just beside the MA, there's the date.
He had nothing to say after that. The second person, years later, was harder to convince. I was also having a hard time believing that it had happened again.
Years later again, when I got the third one, I just asked right away if this was his first time visiting Canada. It stopped him in his tracks and he admitted it was. Then I showed him the abbreviation and he caught on much faster than the others. Maybe my explanations were getting better.
I left that store before getting a fourth. I wonder if they're still coming in, looking around at all the employees and customers, and wondering why we're all so stupid that he's the only one to notice that the entire store has expired.
North Carolina dude: Where y'all from?
Me: Toronto Canada
North Carolina dude: I know a guy from Toronto, his name's Bob. Do you know him?
Me: Sigh.
True story.
About 40 years ago I was visiting friends in Ontario, I live in Québec. We were out for a walk after supper and this car with plates from Tennessee stops us and asks us where he is. When we told him he wouldn't believe us. He must have driven through one of the unchecked roads that cross the border, there are quite a few across the country. So he says, "How can I be in Canada? It's a communist country. " My buddy asked him what made him think that Canada was communist. To which he replied " Well, it's Pink on the map."
None of us could contain our laughter. :).
Well, everyone knows just how communist the British Empire was.
Not me but a friend of mine played a online game with a person from america and he asked her "how can you play online when you live in Denmark? They don't have internet there"
I think about that a lot.
On a date with a girl who said "ya know, I've always wondered what makes scientists lie about dinosaurs being real. Like, what's the motivation?"
Alaska isn't attached to Canada.
Umm 🤔 so what county did my aunt drive through to get from Alaska to Washington?
"Is that a castle?". Gigantic Karen in shorts in Ireland pointing at a massive castle right in front of her. Complained to the manager that the castle should be clearly signposted as such.
I was having a walk in a touristy town in Bali. An American tourist asked me "hey excuse me, do you know where I can find an ATM ?" I pointed to a bank that had two I had used a couple of hours before, and told her "but watch out, the one on the left only has notes of 50,000 rupees".
She was taken aback and answered "wow, wait... you mean those ATMs do not have DOLLARS ? They only give these local rupees ? But hey, how can I get dollars then ? I need dollars !"
I laughed a bit and told her "you're in Indonesia, so it makes sense ATMs have Indonesian currency in them.. Do you think you could get Indonesian rupees from ATMs in New York or LA ?". She made this face that looked like "let me deeply think about that" and after 5 seconds said "well..no, I guess..".
I've met more than 1 American on vacation who genuinely thought Canada was an American state.
"But it's a made up place, Like in fairy a tale? It has to be because it's a dragon on a flag and some kinda Klingon language! You can't be from some fictional country"
An American guy from Denver trying to tell me Wales isn't a place....Even though I'm A Welsh girl lol.
He also asked later on in the day if England and Scotland are the same country and if People wear jeans in Ireland.....he was either dumb or ignorant!
I’m English and now live in the US. I’ve been asked loads of stupid questions but the worst ones have been.
1) Was is hard to learn English when you moved to the US?
2) How long does it take to drive there?
That Jamaica (my home country) was owned by America.
We were a colony of Spain, then England, America never owned us.....
I worked as a dispatcher for a Chicago trucking company. Many drivers asked me if we celebrate 4th of July and Thanksgiving here in Europe.
I’m Canadian. I used to work for a call centre that took calls from all over North America.
I would have Americans call in all the time and ask if I was Canadian (I guess I have an accent).
“How cold is it up there right now? It’s like always snowy, right?”
“It’s pretty warm today, it’s around 21°.”
“Oh wow, that’s freezing, how do y’all survive?”
“Oh, no. 21° Celsius”
“Huh?”
“21° Celsius, that’s about 70° Fahrenheit”
“Uh huh. So why not just say 70? Speak American.”
I was also, separately, asked if we all lived in Igloos.
Me joking with my friend, who has a graduate degree in geological engineering. Me, “boats aren’t natural, things aren’t suppose to float on water. Name me one natural thing that floats on water, permanently.” Him…complete seriousness- “islands.”
Another unsolicited Estonian fact- We have floating islands - small islets formed from peat and reed, that get colonized by other plants, sometimes even trees but still remain adrift. Lakes famous for floating islands here are Porkuni and Lämmijärv. But I think floating islands of the kind are actually quite common and surely found everywhere over the world.
My brother (were also americans ) believed spaghetti was invented here in america. i tried telling him no it was literally made by italians that brought it here to the states to share with us. he told me no and let me guess you believe chicken alfredo is also italian.
Unfortunately I have way too many of these.
From JUST the last 24 hours.
"Seeing eye dogs don't need training".
"You're not allowed to tackle in rugby!"
"I could beat an Olympian if she's a girl." - From an obese guy.
I'm American and my American ex once asked me how much fat is in fat free pudding. Then got mad when I repeated his question back to him slowly lol.
I took Intro to American Politics in college. On the first day of class, the instructor was going over the syllabus, and pointed to a map of the United States. Instructor explained that she'd expect us to know where all the states were. Girl raises her hand and says "umm... I didn't even know we were looking at a map of the United States..?" Girl never showed up to class again. I guess being American and knowing where each state is located, is way too hard...
I have my doubts about this one. Learning all the US states is grade school level material.
"Do you speak Asian?".
I once said Canadian was a language.
It could be argued that Canadian is a language within the English language family.
I live in Alaska. I get asked about “returning to the states” frequently.
I was talking with a guy from Atlanta. He asked me where do I live, so I told him that I live in Poland, Zakopane. He didn’t hear about the city. I explained that is popular tourist place and we call it a winter capital city of Poland. Then he was schocked and asked: “do you change your capital every season?”.
I was telling an in law about “the eye” that was being built in Orlando Florida several years ago and they asked if you could see England from the top of the ride. Oy.
On a very exclusive expedition to watch a total solar eclipse in the Libyan desert. In Libya. In 2006, with Gaddafi in power.
We crossed the desert on a 4WD caravan for a whole day. We entered the border incognito and kept driving into one of the most remote deserts in the world. Participants were coming from all over Europe; one retired lady came from the US. It was a super unique event. All total solar eclipses are, but this was like the eclipse of the century.
We arrived at a spot that we decided would be far enough from everything and good enough for us. No human being was probably alive on the nearest 400 km in any direction. We had done it that far to have an experience of a lifetime. The moon had already covered over 90% of the sun disc but the desert light was still very bright.
We stopped the caravan and boom here's the first blunder coming from Lady Dumbness's mouth:
"Where are we supposed to look at now?"
Well, we all thought that couldn' be topped. Bad guess. After the eclipse had finished, we were all pretty speechless. It was more impressive than any of us was expecting. A Spanish guy decided to record the moment. He took a piece of cardboard and wrote Libya 2006. He fastened the sign to a piece of wood, stuck it on the ground and asked everyone to join in for a group picture.
Lady Dumbness hadn't noticed what the Spaniard had done, so when she saw the sign, she utterd in awe:
"Wow! What are the odds of finding that sign here and now?"
TL;DR - Lady Dumbness went to watch a total solar eclipse prepared with the entire knowledge of a 7th Century 5-year old child. BC.
I was at a Minnesota Twins game, and this Minnesotan couple was stunned that we played baseball in Canada.
1: Minnesota is literally next to Canada. It's not that different.
2: The husband was wearing a Justin Morneau jersey. Justin Morneau is Canadian.
When I was living in Italy I visited Venice with some friends. We overheard an American tourist getting really upset that one of the Mime (which is what my friend called them even though the actual translation should be *mimi*) was following him around. Which is what they do. They follow you around, waving their jars at you making strange noises and begging for money.
He wanted to see their manager. He was under the impression that Venice was one large theme park and that the Mime were hired like Goofy at Disneyland.
In college I worked at Papa John’s. They had some younger kids on the phones. We were all chatting for a minute during some downtime and one of the phone girls saw me pull out my wallet to grab some cash for a drink.
She looks at me…”why do you have a wallet?”
“…to…keep my money in it?…”.
I recall my then sister in law coming back from a visit to the states. They had been talking about a stat holiday in Canada. May long weekend ( the queens birthday). In Canada it is often called May Long, everyone knows what your talking about. One of the Americans wondered why we celebrated a Vietnamese holiday.
I was on a tour in Naples, italy. Some of my family flew from Mexico to meet us there. The hide asked them where they were from. When my aunt answered, “Mexico,” the guide said, “I love South America.”
This is a misinformed Italian, but to be fair to them Mexico is often thought of as South America by many people because it's language, currency, culture, etc. are much more similar with it versus, say, the differences between Canada and US.
Went to the pet store to buy frozen rats for my snake. Woman at the register asked “what kind of snake do you have?”. “A ball python”, I said. She looked at me confused and said “They eat rats?”… I looked at her for a second and said “Yes…”. She then tried to tell me that she had a ball python too.
What's the problem, maybe she's been feeding it mice? On the plus side, at least no live feeding.
"We Americans don't eat as much like in other countries ", said the fatso American woman at some Fulbright orientation meeting while devouring her bag lunch. We were all incredulous, like, wait if you guys don't eat that much, why are you so big?
We just had an "Americans are dumb" list a few days ago.
Very true, I'm from EU and even I was thinking "again...?"
Load More Replies...So are we just making up funny stories now? I've seen 10-15 of these with different nationalities/locations attached.
I remember when the b**t of a couple of them were Poles.
Load More Replies...We just had an "Americans are dumb" list a few days ago.
Very true, I'm from EU and even I was thinking "again...?"
Load More Replies...So are we just making up funny stories now? I've seen 10-15 of these with different nationalities/locations attached.
I remember when the b**t of a couple of them were Poles.
Load More Replies...
