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“Mama’s Boy” Always Puts Parents Before Pregnant Wife, She’s Tired Of Constantly Taking Second Place
Every couple should have each other’s back, especially when situations become tough to deal with or their families are too overbearing. When one partner begins to take other people’s sides, it can cause conflicts and problems in their relationship over time.
This is what a pregnant woman faced because her husband kept giving in to his parents’ demands and ignored her needs. She found herself at the end of her rope because of his pushover behavior, which put her in a tough spot of constantly having to adjust for her in-laws.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Dealing with pushy in-laws can get easier if both partners present a united front and stand up to rude behavior
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that even though she was 37 weeks pregnant and her husband’s parents had come to help, she had to do all the cooking and cleaning
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Her in-laws also couldn’t stand the cold, so her husband kept turning on the heater even though his wife felt extremely hot
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Her husband also tried to convince the poster to give in to old family traditions after his mom kept pushing her views on him
Image credits: BlacksmithLeather726
All these situations made the poster feel like she had to keep adjusting and compromising for her in-laws, especially since her husband always took their side
As the poster explained, her husband’s parents had travelled halfway across the world to come and help when their newborn baby was born. She didn’t mind having them around most of the time since they were nice people and clearly wanted to be helpful for this new stage of the OP and her husband’s life.
It is common in many cultures for grandparents to help with childcare, especially in the first few months after delivery. This gives the exhausted parents some time to themselves and helps reduce the amount of stress they might be facing. On the flip side, it can also prove to be burdensome if the grandparents are very pushy.
This is what the pregnant poster faced because her in-laws expected her to cook, clean, and adjust to all of their demands. Even though the OP was 37 weeks pregnant and due for a C-section in just a few days, she was expected to make food for everyone and clean up after them, too.
Most medical professionals advise pregnant women to avoid doing a lot of household chores. The reason for this is that the hormones released during this period can actually soften or loosen one’s ligaments, which makes them more prone to back strain. That’s why the poster’s husband should have taken this responsibility off her shoulders and let her just relax.
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Apart from the daily chores, the OP also found herself constantly having to compromise for her in-laws. This became apparent when her husband’s parents kept complaining about how cold they felt, so the heater had to be turned on for them, making the poster then feel uncomfortably hot.
She also felt annoyed when her partner tried to convince her to carry out an old tradition for their baby, just because his mom had told him to. The OP felt that nobody was respecting her boundaries, especially because her husband kept giving in to what his parents wanted, at her expense.
According to marriage counsellors, when a person keeps feeling sidelined by their partner like this, it can lead to a build-up of resentment. Although cultural factors or traditions might play a role in this kind of behavior, it’s important for people to put their spouse’s needs first and pay attention to them.
The poster tried to make her husband understand how unheard she felt, but he didn’t seem to view his pushover behavior as problematic at all. He tried to convince her to adjust just for a short time while his parents were staying there, and then things would go back to normal.
Do you think the woman should listen to her partner and compromise or set boundaries in this situation? Let us know your honest thoughts.
People felt that the poster’s husband was a mommy’s boy and that he needed to stop keeping the peace at the expense of his wife
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What do you think ?
Paul C 1 month ago
At 37 weeks pregnant, why are you cooking and cleaning? Has hubby no arms or legs? Nor his parents who are supposed to be there to help, but making things worse? Kick the parents out, or suffer the consequences once the baby is born. And kick out hubby if he doesn't buck up and act like a man.
StumblingThroughLife 1 month ago
Yep. I was hoping for an update... BP don't seem to care if there isn't, imo).
Load More Replies...
Rosie Hamilton 1 month ago (edited)
On a hot vs cold thing, you can put more clothes on but there is only so much you can take off. There are clothes that heat (eg heated gilets) & old fashioned hot water bottles. Zero need for the older people to feel cold. I speak from experience. The recommended temperature for a baby sleeping is between 16 to 20°C to ensure they are comfortable and to reduce the risk of SIDS. It's not for a minor reason!! Overheating is a risk factor for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), so it is important to keep the room cool. In hot countries, they cope better in various ways so not really comparable. Not sure why OPs room had to be overly warm, could just open a window. Wonder what the 'tradition' thing is, but no, if you don't agree stick to your guns. Husband is wet. If grandparents come to help but end up being a nuisance, they can bugger off back home. Why aren't they & husband helping with the cooking? Doubt they'll do more than boss OP about and constantly want to hold the baby and that will be the 'help'.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
Stop cooking. Turn the heating down. It's your house. It's your pregnancy. And if they can't handle it, go stay with a friend for a few days until they realise that they are being unreasonable. You have a husband problem here.
Paul C 1 month ago
At 37 weeks pregnant, why are you cooking and cleaning? Has hubby no arms or legs? Nor his parents who are supposed to be there to help, but making things worse? Kick the parents out, or suffer the consequences once the baby is born. And kick out hubby if he doesn't buck up and act like a man.
StumblingThroughLife 1 month ago
Yep. I was hoping for an update... BP don't seem to care if there isn't, imo).
Load More Replies... Rosie Hamilton 1 month ago (edited)
On a hot vs cold thing, you can put more clothes on but there is only so much you can take off. There are clothes that heat (eg heated gilets) & old fashioned hot water bottles. Zero need for the older people to feel cold. I speak from experience. The recommended temperature for a baby sleeping is between 16 to 20°C to ensure they are comfortable and to reduce the risk of SIDS. It's not for a minor reason!! Overheating is a risk factor for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), so it is important to keep the room cool. In hot countries, they cope better in various ways so not really comparable. Not sure why OPs room had to be overly warm, could just open a window. Wonder what the 'tradition' thing is, but no, if you don't agree stick to your guns. Husband is wet. If grandparents come to help but end up being a nuisance, they can bugger off back home. Why aren't they & husband helping with the cooking? Doubt they'll do more than boss OP about and constantly want to hold the baby and that will be the 'help'.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
Stop cooking. Turn the heating down. It's your house. It's your pregnancy. And if they can't handle it, go stay with a friend for a few days until they realise that they are being unreasonable. You have a husband problem here.
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