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Dad Refuses To Kick Out Pregnant Teen Daughter, GF Says She “Didn’t Sign Up For This”
Blood is thicker than water, meaning most people will always side with their family if push comes to shove. Testing this bond is probably a bad idea and could lead to a ruined relationship if you’re not careful.
One guy let his pregnant daughter move back home, much against his live-in girlfriend’s wishes. Unimpressed, his girlfriend has laid down an ultimatum: either his daughter moves out, or she will. Now the guy has turned to an online community to ask if letting his daughter stay would be a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
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Blood is thicker than water, and this dad is determined to prove the point
Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After his daughter announced her surprise pregnancy, his ex-wife kicked her out, so he agreed to let her move back home for as long as she needed
Image credits: vovatol / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His live-in girlfriend, however, was unimpressed with this development and threatened to move out unless he sent his daughter packing
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unperturbed, he let his irate girlfriend know that his daughter is family and he’ll be offering her all the support she needs
Image credits: crampingMY_style
Now the tension in the household could be cut with a knife, prompting the dad to ask an online community if giving his struggling daughter a place to stay makes him a jerk
OP thought life was finally balancing out: steady job, a house, a loving girlfriend, and a strong bond with his daughter Maddy. Divorced years earlier, he always made time for her, and now 18, she was independent, smart, and planning college. However, one conversation turned everything upside down when Maddy revealed she was pregnant.
Maddy’s mom kicked her out, leaving OP’s home as her only safe place. Despite the shock, he promised full support, at least within reason. He’d help with childcare if she worked or studied, but partying was off-limits. Maddy impressed him by returning with a budget, a plan, and determination. OP immediately planned on turning his unused treadmill room into a nursery in anticipation of his grandkid’s arrival.
OP’s girlfriend, Vera, had always gotten along with Maddy, until this new development, that is. Though supportive at first, she gave OP an ultimatum after realizing the baby would live with them. She insisted he pull the offer he’d made to his daughter, or she’d move out, telling him she never signed up to raise someone else’s kid. When OP refused to abandon Maddy, though, she hit the roof.
Now, OP says you could cut the tension at home with a knife. Vera avoids them or gets snippy, while OP feels torn but resolute; he simply will not throw his daughter out in her hour of need. After all, Maddy is his blood, and her future matters more than anything to him. Still, he turned to netizens to ask if letting her move back home was a jerk move.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
There’s plenty of drama going on in OP’s story. Essentially, he’s being forced to choose between being a parent and being a partner. How could he and Vera work things out, considering his decision that Maddy’s going nowhere? We went looking for answers.
The first thing to note is that Maddy is part of what’s called the Boomerang Generation – adult children who return home after living independently due to factors like economic pressure, life changes, or cultural shifts.
The trend became especially visible after the 2008 financial crisis and surged again during the COVID-19 pandemic, when many young adults lost their jobs or moved back home to save money. So, Maddy’s return home is par for the course these days, whether Vera likes it or not.
In his article for Psychology Today, Jeffrey Bernstein (Ph.D.) writes that fostering empathy in your partner for your adult child’s struggles can be challenging, but it’s possible with open communication and understanding.
Bernstein recommends leading by being an example of expressed empathy, opening up honest communication, educating your partner about the challenges your adult child is facing, establishing clear boundaries, acknowledging differences, encouraging patience, and expressing gratitude when your partner shows empathy or support for your child.
Perhaps OP and Vera can reach some sort of compromise. If they can’t, her moving out wouldn’t have to mean the end of their whole relationship; it’d just be a bit of an adjustment. Here’s hoping they can figure something out that’s win-win for everyone.
What do you think of the situation OP finds himself in? Do you think Vera has a point, or is she overreacting? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers agreed it was a tricky situation but assured the dad that he wasn’t being a jerk by putting his pregnant daughter first
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 3 months ago
Your partners family will always influence your life. Fair or unfair, that's how it is. A parent get sick, a child gets pregnant. Someone loses a job or their house. It's not great but if you don't want to be with someone involved with their family, date someone who has cut ties with them
Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
I never envisioned being a caretaker, but when my MiL got cancer, she moved in with us. She was A LOT but she was family, and you take care of family. It was a very difficult year, but I would do it again. GF needs to buy into the temporary situation and make the best of it or move on.
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Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
NTA, but Vera is also in her right to not want to live with a baby so it's her decision, does she wants to pursue this relationships and accept to live with a baby, or is she not ready for that and needs to move out ? The choice is hers to make.
Jane Doe 3 months ago
Yep. Both sides are “right.” OP’s daughter can live in his house. Op’s girlfriend can say she doesn’t want to live with his kid and grandkid. What she can’t do is pout and make everyone miserable trying to wear them down. What OP can’t do is let this drag on letting his girlfriend think, with everyday that he puts up with the BS, that she is wearing him down. Asks her to accept it or leave. Sucks. But someone has to act.
Load More Replies...
tori Ohno 3 months ago
I'd nope right out of that. I wouldn't give an ultimatum to him like she did, but if I didn't sign on for a kid, I'd be gone.
Jane Doe 2 months ago
Which is very different from continuing to live there and being rude to everyone. YBut Vera needs to cut bait. She's not going to wear down OP; she's going to ruin any future for them.
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Sarah Matsoukis 3 months ago
Shame for everyone. In Vera's shoes I'd move out. I'd be miserable with a small kid and extra people around when I wanted to live with my partner child free.
Melissa Harris 3 months ago (edited)
OPs relationship is over. She didn't sign up to live in a nursery but her childish reaction is the end of the relationship. She can't be rude to her BF snd his daughter in his home. She needs to move out and he needs to tell her to as she doesn't seem to understand her options where get with the new program or vacat. She chose sulking which should given the OP the hugest ick he packed her bags himself.
Kate Johnson 3 months ago
Well that relationship is over. I'm sure she's only staying until she can make other living arrangements.
Jane Doe 2 months ago
I would think that. But the walking around making her unhappiness the center of everything, making everyone uncomfortable is A LOT. I wonder if she is looking for places to move or if she thinks she's going to wear down OP or chase out daughter.
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margaret carradus 2 months ago
He was a dad long before he met the girlfriend. She knew he had that lifetime responsibility.
azubi 3 months ago
When dating someone with children, the only alternative to being in the second row is being with an a*s.hole, I reckon.
Jane Doe 2 months ago
I'm going to upvote this because I see your point. OP is a good guy. He's doing the best he can to support his daughter. That means he's putting his wants, his relationship second. Yes, that means he's putting his girlfriend second and that is rotten for her. But if he was like the mom and threw her out with no support, is that really the type of guy Vera would want to be with?
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 3 months ago
Your partners family will always influence your life. Fair or unfair, that's how it is. A parent get sick, a child gets pregnant. Someone loses a job or their house. It's not great but if you don't want to be with someone involved with their family, date someone who has cut ties with them
Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
I never envisioned being a caretaker, but when my MiL got cancer, she moved in with us. She was A LOT but she was family, and you take care of family. It was a very difficult year, but I would do it again. GF needs to buy into the temporary situation and make the best of it or move on.
Load More Replies... Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
NTA, but Vera is also in her right to not want to live with a baby so it's her decision, does she wants to pursue this relationships and accept to live with a baby, or is she not ready for that and needs to move out ? The choice is hers to make.
Jane Doe 3 months ago
Yep. Both sides are “right.” OP’s daughter can live in his house. Op’s girlfriend can say she doesn’t want to live with his kid and grandkid. What she can’t do is pout and make everyone miserable trying to wear them down. What OP can’t do is let this drag on letting his girlfriend think, with everyday that he puts up with the BS, that she is wearing him down. Asks her to accept it or leave. Sucks. But someone has to act.
Load More Replies... tori Ohno 3 months ago
I'd nope right out of that. I wouldn't give an ultimatum to him like she did, but if I didn't sign on for a kid, I'd be gone.
Jane Doe 2 months ago
Which is very different from continuing to live there and being rude to everyone. YBut Vera needs to cut bait. She's not going to wear down OP; she's going to ruin any future for them.
Load More Replies... Sarah Matsoukis 3 months ago
Shame for everyone. In Vera's shoes I'd move out. I'd be miserable with a small kid and extra people around when I wanted to live with my partner child free.
Melissa Harris 3 months ago (edited)
OPs relationship is over. She didn't sign up to live in a nursery but her childish reaction is the end of the relationship. She can't be rude to her BF snd his daughter in his home. She needs to move out and he needs to tell her to as she doesn't seem to understand her options where get with the new program or vacat. She chose sulking which should given the OP the hugest ick he packed her bags himself.
Kate Johnson 3 months ago
Well that relationship is over. I'm sure she's only staying until she can make other living arrangements.
Jane Doe 2 months ago
I would think that. But the walking around making her unhappiness the center of everything, making everyone uncomfortable is A LOT. I wonder if she is looking for places to move or if she thinks she's going to wear down OP or chase out daughter.
Load More Replies... margaret carradus 2 months ago
He was a dad long before he met the girlfriend. She knew he had that lifetime responsibility.
azubi 3 months ago
When dating someone with children, the only alternative to being in the second row is being with an a*s.hole, I reckon.
Jane Doe 2 months ago
I'm going to upvote this because I see your point. OP is a good guy. He's doing the best he can to support his daughter. That means he's putting his wants, his relationship second. Yes, that means he's putting his girlfriend second and that is rotten for her. But if he was like the mom and threw her out with no support, is that really the type of guy Vera would want to be with?
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