50 Simple Things People Did That Made Their Friends Desire Them Badly
Interview With Expert
Mutual attraction is absolutely vital if you want to have a healthy and happy romantic relationship. If it’s unrequited, things can get really awkward. Though many people know what qualities appeal to them the most, in theory, attraction can be sparked in the unlikeliest moments, even among friends.
The r/AskReddit online community spilled the tea about some unexpectedly hot moments in their lives. They revealed what their friends did that accidentally turned them on and what happened next. Scroll down to see what they had to share. Sometimes, all it takes is one good dance move, a subtle smile, or simply washing the dishes…
Dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, shed some light on attraction for us. He explained that personality and behavior are more important than looks, and also shared his thoughts on getting out of the dreaded 'friend zone.' Read on for the insights he shared with Bored Panda.
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She dropped me off at the airport. I said thank you, goodbye, and gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning to get out of the car. As I started to get out, she said, “Is that it”? I turned back, locked eyes, and suddenly my heart started to ache. Suddenly I didn’t want to leave. We embraced but it was the first time we did so that wasn’t as just as friends. I remember holding her in the car, not wanting to let go, and suddenly having this rush of feelings that I’d never let myself feel before. I remember when I’d gotten to my destination (I was going to visit my aunt for a few weeks) and my aunt mentioned I seemed heart broken. I knew at that moment I was in love with my best friend. We’ve been together ever since I got back home. We just celebrated our 18th anniversary on March 17th.
Though attraction can seem confusing to many people, dating expert Bacon pointed out that this isn't the case.
"What guys need to understand is that triggering attraction in women isn’t as complicated as it seems," the founder of The Modern Man project told Bored Panda via email.
"It mostly boils down to displaying personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women, such as confidence, masculinity, charm, charisma, being a playful challenge, humor, and social intelligence," he explained.
Went round to a friends house to play DnD. She made us all nachos and chicken. At the end I went to wash up so as not to leave her with all our mess, I turned around and she put her hand on my chest, stared me straight in the eyes and told me I didn't need to help. Nothing overtly sexy but she held my gaze and had her hand on my chest just slightly longer than would be expected. Anyway we're married now
“Get your butt in the car, we’re going to get Chinese food” He knew I wasn’t in a great state of mind and we had been friends for a handful of years. He drove to find me when I wouldn’t tell him where I was. After food he drove me to the store to get nerf guns and we battled. Wound up marrying him.
The dating expert noted that most guys don't realize that they can "actively create a spark with a woman" by showcasing all of the positive traits.
"In other words, he doesn't have to hope to be selected based on how he looks. He can actively create sparks of attraction inside of a woman he likes, so she then becomes interested in him."
Bored Panda asked dating expert Bacon about how guys might be able to get out of the so-called 'friend zone' that many dread being thrown into.
Put her hand on top of my head and scratched twice as she walked by my chair, sent tingles down my back. Didn't know I like head scratches, woof lol.
Shaved his head. We’d been friends for about a year, he had medium length hair but was balding badly, basically no hair on top at all. It had been a minute since we’d hung out and he walked in with a completely shaved head and I was like… damn I need to date this man. He looked SO good (still does)
We’ve been together 7 years now and have a baby!
Take it from a guy that started losing his hair around 16: for most men, it is not possible to hide thinning hair in an attractive way and it makes you look older. Bite the bullet and shave it off or crop it very closely. Been sporting the cue-ball look for 24 years and it’s way better than pretending nobody notices your rapidly declining lettuce.
Rolled his sleeves up and reversed perfectly.
Eta. I didn't expect this to get as much attention as it did so I'll address some questions.
Yes, it was in a manual car.
It was a hot summers day so he rolled up his sleeves before we got in the car.
Yes, he did put his hand on the back of my chair.
"Firstly, he needs to begin displaying attractive traits," the founder of The Modern Man said that being confident, masculine, playful, and humorous can make a guy seem attractive. This way, he's seen as a potential boyfriend or lover.
"Secondly, he needs to begin flirting with her. Most guys overlook this, but flirting is the key to creating a sexual spark with women," the dating expert told us.
"It’s a subtle art of expressing your sexual and romantic interest without coming on too strong. Most women know how to flirt, but most guys don't."
I fumbled a move one night dancing with a friend. I thought he was going to dip me, but he spun me instead. Still, my mistake was enough for him to notice, so he dipped me and said "There, I've got you this time." No right to be as hot as it was.
The entire group went clubbing. He was saying something that I could not hear. He bent down and spoke against my ear. Questioned our 2 decades of platonic relationship at that second. Didn't even hear what he said.
Didn't matter that she didn't hear what he said. It was the closeness and familiarity that worked on her.
I was unsure about something, and he started reassuring me by telling me how smart and hardworking I am.
It wasn’t really what he said, but how he said it. He got this very earnest, stern look on his face that I hadn’t seen before, held eye contact, stopped what he was doing, and told me why he was certain I’d be okay.
There's nothing more sexy than your partner honestly believing in you. Not the love bombing superficial speeches some guys give you, but when he looks you in the eyes, smiles that gentle, loving smile and tells you exactly why you'll succeed and you know he is right because he sees you for who you are and it's not just platitudes but things you truly do or specific talents you really possess but can't see for what they are due to insecurity.
How someone looks definitely plays a key role in romance. To put it bluntly, everyone wants to feel attracted to their partner—and to feel attractive, in turn. However, looks really aren’t everything.
A person’s character, behavior, and values are also essential when we look at attraction. What this means specifically can vary a lot from individual to individual. But there are some common denominators (with plenty of exceptions, of course!).
She did that thing that girls do where they tilt their head. She was just listening to me talk about MRSA (we're nursing students), and she was kind of smiling, listening to me go into depth about the illness for a test review, and she ever so slightly tilted her head and kept her very pretty eyes directly on mine. That mixed with the slight smile got my stomach in knots and I just started stuttering like a fool. It only happened like a week ago.
Ah, MRSA…what a lovely bacterial infection to bring two people together.
When I (26f) went out for a drink one night with my friend C (25M) there was a guy I knew, he was hitting on me, asking me to go home with him and being really aggressive about it. I turned him down and the guy immediately turned on my friend.
The guy got in C's face, saying that it was his fault that I wouldn't go home with him, that he was a c**k block. C just stood his ground, crossed his arms and told him to leave in a very calm, firm voice.
The drunk guy eventually left but it was such a turn on to see C remain so level headed and calm in a tense situation where I'm used to guys being so reactive. It was super hot
exactly, being calm in a stressful situation is infinitely cooler than being all "macho" and aggressive.
We were listening to a speech about a topic I wasn't familiar with, so we were in the back and he was whispering explanations in my ear, and he had a really nice voice
Later I noticed the collar of his blazer had folded up, so I let him know, and with that nice voice he said "Fix it then" and bent his knees so I could reach. He was so warm I could feel it without even touching him, and he smelled so good
As Business Insider points out, good looks can be a factor for why women like men, but they’re not as important as you might think.
Having a good sense of humor, being kind to others, and being mindful are what draw women to men, according to research. Women also tend to like risk-takers, as well as guys who (sometimes) play hard to get.
A girl I became friends with on a school trip in high school fell asleep on my shoulders on the ride back.
I'm still coasting on that memory.
So lemme share this little story, when I was little I used to have this friend and we were super close! One day when we were watching a movie on school so I rested my head on his shoulder and he put his head over mine and just like that I fell in love with him, unfortunally he moved and I can't see him anymore and I can't keep in touch :(
We were joking and she turned back, grabbed my neck and lightly strangled me. I haven't been the same ever since
I was teaching her how to drive manual. Her first time driving, she got into first without stalling and shifted all the way to 6th. It was so perfect as if it was a automatic transmission. 1 year later and we're married.
Newsflash: she could already drive manually. This was all according to plan. ☺️
Meanwhile, the Gentleman’s Journal notes that showing off your sensitive side and getting a dog can help you stand out from the competition. If you’re approachable and selfless, you’re only improving your chances of landing a date.
On the flip side, men tend to value women for their intelligence and creativity, good communication skills, loyalty, and optimism.
I asked her outside a party if my eyeliner had smudged. She took my jaw in her hands and gently but firmly turned my face back and forth to examine my makeup, then lightly patted my cheek and said it looked fine. I couldn’t even thank her, I just nodded and we moved on while I gathered myself, lol.
Not neceserily a turn on but when i was in art school we went to a museum with a clown exhibit.
One of my classmates whom i had very little prior interaction with had a fear of clowns.
At a certain point something spooked her, she grabbed my arm. I felt like 'me big monkey, me keep pretty lady safe'
Stupid as it was i had a little crush on her afterwards.
I am very tactile, he isn’t with anyone else but he always would pull me next to him when we were outside and it was chilly, would sit into my space at work meetings, always put his hand on my lower back when walking me in front of him or next to him.
It was nothing overtly sexual but the fact he didn’t do that with anyone else….. oh my
Marriage.com shares that among some of the qualities that men find the most attractive are friendliness, compassion, cleanliness, and independence.
Empathy and kindness appear to be universally attractive traits, no matter a person’s gender. This makes a lot of sense because human beings are social animals: we rely on communities not only to survive but also to thrive.
I was annoying him, so he picked me up over his shoulder and dropped me on the couch, no biggie
(Was kinda hoping he'd spank me after propping me over his shoulder but)
We both tried grabbing the same cup and looked at each other. We've been together for awhile now.
Helping me put on a tie because I didn't know how.
When we were young and had sleep overs… my female friend at the time and I would sleep in the same bed (I’m also female) and one night she like cuddled up to me and spooned me while was was sleeping… I don’t think she was aware at all.. but I was like ooo I like this very much…
I was hugging this friend at school, they were sitting down and i wasn't so their head was on my chest, at a certain point I was about to go and they said: "stay here, i can hear you're heartbeat" it just gave me so much butterflies
We were wrestling and I pinned her down. She said "if this were a movie we'd make out right now". I didn't go for it that was 15 years ago I was just her maid of honor at her wedding I love her but oof.
Button popped on her shirt exposing more tit than she ever exposed around me. We ended up getting married. Going on 10 years too. It was a happy accident.
We were at a party drinking and I got handed a shot. I said, “This one is going to f**k me up.” He looked right at me and softly said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”
I threw that shot straight back.
eeeh? (I got a bad feeling about this..?) Hopefully not I guess, but could have been!?
I was pretty good, if not best friends with someone I never thought I would be attracted to. We were at the bar one night and I was cold. He took his favorite jacket and put it over my shoulders and hugged me. I got a feeling for him I’ll never forget after that.
Gave me some eyes that were unintentionally intimate as I was helping bandage her finger that she accidentally cut badly. Sort of the “look at youuuuuuu being all caring and helpful”.
Came to drop off food and medicine while I was sick. I was absolutely not in the mood but I wish I was.
Mrs HoaS did this for me a few days after we started seeing each other. 17 years later we're still together :-)
I was hanging out with some of my guy friends and they all started kicking a ball around so I sat on the side near some cool flowers I wanted to draw, I wasn’t paying attention and at one point the ball started going towards me and one of the guys ran right in front of me like inches from me to stop it he then spent like 5 minutes checking if I was okay then gave me head pats. That wasn’t a normal thing for us but now it has become one. So yeah…
Weird one here, but it was a staring contest.
She claimed she was good at it and beat everyone before me to prove it. You play to win normally and I'm usually not one for staring, but I couldn't look away from the big, beady hazel eyes she had. So even if she got closer to throw me off, it's honestly what I wanted because she basically doubled how cute she already was in that moment.
Needless to say, I didn't lose. She looked away to blink and then playfully nudged me in defeat while grinning. It was a done deal then—I developed a crush on her from that day onward.
This is actually a pick up artists manipulation technique to make someone feel more intimately connected. Studies show that partners that look into each other's eyes for longer than 5 seconds on a regular basis are happier and feel more connected and comfortable to their partners
I was invited to a new coworker's birthday party. She was pretty buzzed by the time I arrived and ended up introducing me to all her friends as her hot boss.
Me and my female best friend got on the topic of massages, she jokingly said I should rub her feet, I said sure and gave her a massage, she then asked me to do her calves, hands and arms and she gave me a hand massage.
What turned me on was seeing her enjoy the massage.
This happened like 2 days ago and I have a big crush on her but can't tell if she likes me or if she genuinely wanted to show me how to massage.
Literally asked me to pick her outfits for the weekend and modeled all morning in different outfits while telling me to pick some out. Didn't leave the room to change.
Tackled me. Not in a playful way either, she was trying her best to take me down (and generally succeeded). We were always just friends but in those moments after we’d hit the ground, I sometimes felt a little different about it.
Not friend per se but work colleague. Leaned back in an office chair with his hands behind his head smirking a little.
Completely out of context in the situation but my mind equated it with the position some men adopt when they’re right about to get head. Took me right out of the meeting.
She showed me how the tattoo on the back of her upper thigh moves when she bends over. I was 19 and she was wearing short shorts…that was enough to make me blush.
Called me sir. I didn’t even know this was a turn on.
I was bartending and a HOT guy came in with his crew. Company credit card/open end...just make them happy. Big boss man came up and asked me for my number. Said NO. He said not for me...for HOT guy. Still said no. HOT guy nutted up and asked me for my number. Said no, but gave me his. Called him 6 months later. Knew him 20 years and married him. This theory is not for the faint of heart.
She was talking about how she was into biting and I called her weird. She bit my forearm (no blood) right before class....... yeah that was a fun hour.
We were at a party, I poured a shot, liquor spilled on my hand and it got sticky which I hate. She proceeded to lick my entire hand clean. Confused and horny.
Pulled my hair. I was doing something on the computer, and she suddenly pulled my hair. Weirdest feeling ever, but my acting skills was on point and nobody noticed a thing.
My guy best friend just just hugged me out of nowhere, idk what happened to me but something
Played drums with a V-neck sweater on.
i love this, because its one of those things that would look good on any gender.
Put his finger in my mouth. We’ve been married 8 years now.
She cut her hair in a way that was just so damn beautiful.
A hair cut can be everything to how hot a person is.I had a friend with longish hair,because he hadn't had it cut for ages.When he did he looked so gorgeous I was smitten
One time at a party she was a bit tipsy and started to stroke my neck.
The smallest things can make biggest differences. (Also covering up a not-the-nicest-comment)
She didn't really do anything. I just randomly had a really nice dream with her. I had a crush on her since
I didn't have a dream or anything but I (m) became attracted to my best friend (f) as we were just hanging out getting stoned. I was digging the pattern printed on her jeans and I suddenly realized how good the pants looked on her. Then a switch flipped in my head and I saw how beautiful she was. I hadn't thought that just 5 minutes before. Spent the next 2 years hoping her feelings would change towards me too but it didn't happen until I started dating my future wife. My friend then realized I was a catch, got jealous and we stopped hanging out because it got awkward.
Look deep into my soul after having an argument and saying "OK daddy"... was so confused and turned on at the same time
I have a funny one too! Before I met my fiance, the Hobbit movies had just come out and I kept telling people that Smaug was a wyvern in this interpretation, not a dragon (because dragons = 4 legs, 2 wings, wyvern = 2 legs, 2 wings). When I met my fiance as a friend, we talked about the Hobbit movies and he tried to explain to me that Smaug was a wyvern. That moment I knew he was the right one. For him, it was when he found it I played Doom 2016 and had big anger towards the Cyberdemon.
My friend of 23 years came round and beat up my abusive ex because he heard him over the phone, screaming that he was going to kill me. Me and my friend have now been together 7yrs
To be fair, it's the "accidentally turned on" list, not the "Calamity Jane sings Secret Love" moments.
Load More Replies... My story is, we had been friends for 5 years. I asked him why he never dated anyone (because I knew for a fact there were plenty who were interested). He said “I am waiting for someone just like you”. Been married 38 years now.
Happened about 15 years ago with my best friend (friends since 1994) but she literally wanted some like me, NOT me hahahaha
Load More Replies... #1 I was bartending and a guy walked up beside me and shyly said "you have the most beautiful freckles on your shoulders and collarbone" and the odd compliment and shy genuity of it and it not being the usual "you're sexy" "I would so do you" lines I was used to really made me smile and I was instantly attracted to him.
#2 He said "you float when you walk by in that dress" and I was instantly turned on. In fact it still turns me on whenever I think about the look on his face that day. Damn you Jason.
All she had to do was smile while looking into my eyes, then turn away and call me "dumb" while still smiling and looking down and I think I ate my heart that day
We were put in the same class for a training thing for work. We had to complete a physical fitness exam for it. My girlfriends and I just watched him, jaws open. His muscles were just bulging and he flew through the exam as if it were nothing. We ended up getting together by the end of our two weeks there. We've been married for just over a year now. :-)
Had a friend in high school I used to goof off with at work that I was never attracted to. One time he walked by and just lightly bit the back of my shoulder. We ended up in the back having like a 10 second gnarly make-out session, then went back to work like nothing happened and never spoke of it.
My friends introduced me to a guy they knew, and at first I thought “This guy is kind of a weirdo.” But he commented on my necklace (LOTR one ring necklace) and we ended up talking about Lord of the Rings for an hour. That’s when I fell in love
I'd been arrested ofr somethig and was in the bar afterwards. a girl i know was sitting in the group and kept talking about liking bad boys while making eye contact. I was completely oblivious and spent ten minutes asking why she wanted someone that would treat her and her kid like c**p and she'd constantly be worried about them cheating. I wasn't trying to be an a*s about it, i genuinly wanted her to pick someone that would treat her nice. I can still hear that whooshing noise from it all going over my head, lol
Well this was what I needed. But what I've relearned this: Men have no idea what they're doing, can say the randomest things and one girl will melt and another wint even notice. I guarantee no guy has ever thought, "man, if I really learn to back up well the ladies are going to love it." Women, on the other hand, "accidentally" pop a button on a blouse 😜 j/k
I was living away from home, went back to tcob, and wound up stranded. I went to my local bar to see if any of my friends were there, so I could sleep indoors. This guy I had passed on the street several times offered me a couch. I asked the ladies at the bar if he was ''safe'. Resounding yes. I wound up crashing there for nine days. We talked on the phone every night, after. When I found out about a really cool bat cave, and we planned to go together, it hit: This was real. I could road trip with a relative stranger. We've been together for almost two years, and will be married soon. Also recently acquired a cat.
When I was a young woman, long ago, I was in a "public car" (a cab that picks/drops passengers anywhere, but along a specific route) on the left side of the back seat. A guy gets in & slides next to me. We're both wearing short sleeves so when a 3rd person got in, our arms touched skin-to-skin. I got chills & every little hair stood on end, but also got like a hot flash. I looked at him, but he did not react at all, so I guess it was just me. I've always lamented I once sat next to my soulmate, but he didn't recognize me. Sad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I have a funny one too! Before I met my fiance, the Hobbit movies had just come out and I kept telling people that Smaug was a wyvern in this interpretation, not a dragon (because dragons = 4 legs, 2 wings, wyvern = 2 legs, 2 wings). When I met my fiance as a friend, we talked about the Hobbit movies and he tried to explain to me that Smaug was a wyvern. That moment I knew he was the right one. For him, it was when he found it I played Doom 2016 and had big anger towards the Cyberdemon.
My friend of 23 years came round and beat up my abusive ex because he heard him over the phone, screaming that he was going to kill me. Me and my friend have now been together 7yrs
To be fair, it's the "accidentally turned on" list, not the "Calamity Jane sings Secret Love" moments.
Load More Replies... My story is, we had been friends for 5 years. I asked him why he never dated anyone (because I knew for a fact there were plenty who were interested). He said “I am waiting for someone just like you”. Been married 38 years now.
Happened about 15 years ago with my best friend (friends since 1994) but she literally wanted some like me, NOT me hahahaha
Load More Replies... #1 I was bartending and a guy walked up beside me and shyly said "you have the most beautiful freckles on your shoulders and collarbone" and the odd compliment and shy genuity of it and it not being the usual "you're sexy" "I would so do you" lines I was used to really made me smile and I was instantly attracted to him.
#2 He said "you float when you walk by in that dress" and I was instantly turned on. In fact it still turns me on whenever I think about the look on his face that day. Damn you Jason.
All she had to do was smile while looking into my eyes, then turn away and call me "dumb" while still smiling and looking down and I think I ate my heart that day
We were put in the same class for a training thing for work. We had to complete a physical fitness exam for it. My girlfriends and I just watched him, jaws open. His muscles were just bulging and he flew through the exam as if it were nothing. We ended up getting together by the end of our two weeks there. We've been married for just over a year now. :-)
Had a friend in high school I used to goof off with at work that I was never attracted to. One time he walked by and just lightly bit the back of my shoulder. We ended up in the back having like a 10 second gnarly make-out session, then went back to work like nothing happened and never spoke of it.
My friends introduced me to a guy they knew, and at first I thought “This guy is kind of a weirdo.” But he commented on my necklace (LOTR one ring necklace) and we ended up talking about Lord of the Rings for an hour. That’s when I fell in love
I'd been arrested ofr somethig and was in the bar afterwards. a girl i know was sitting in the group and kept talking about liking bad boys while making eye contact. I was completely oblivious and spent ten minutes asking why she wanted someone that would treat her and her kid like c**p and she'd constantly be worried about them cheating. I wasn't trying to be an a*s about it, i genuinly wanted her to pick someone that would treat her nice. I can still hear that whooshing noise from it all going over my head, lol
Well this was what I needed. But what I've relearned this: Men have no idea what they're doing, can say the randomest things and one girl will melt and another wint even notice. I guarantee no guy has ever thought, "man, if I really learn to back up well the ladies are going to love it." Women, on the other hand, "accidentally" pop a button on a blouse 😜 j/k
I was living away from home, went back to tcob, and wound up stranded. I went to my local bar to see if any of my friends were there, so I could sleep indoors. This guy I had passed on the street several times offered me a couch. I asked the ladies at the bar if he was ''safe'. Resounding yes. I wound up crashing there for nine days. We talked on the phone every night, after. When I found out about a really cool bat cave, and we planned to go together, it hit: This was real. I could road trip with a relative stranger. We've been together for almost two years, and will be married soon. Also recently acquired a cat.
When I was a young woman, long ago, I was in a "public car" (a cab that picks/drops passengers anywhere, but along a specific route) on the left side of the back seat. A guy gets in & slides next to me. We're both wearing short sleeves so when a 3rd person got in, our arms touched skin-to-skin. I got chills & every little hair stood on end, but also got like a hot flash. I looked at him, but he did not react at all, so I guess it was just me. I've always lamented I once sat next to my soulmate, but he didn't recognize me. Sad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
