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Woman Calls Police On Strangers Who Say They Are Her Family, Wonders If She Was Wrong To Do So
Woman Calls Police On Strangers Who Say They Are Her Family, Wonders If She Was Wrong To Do So

Woman Calls Police On Strangers Who Say They Are Her Family, Wonders If She Was Wrong To Do So

Interview With Expert

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Nobody really wants strangers to show up on their doorstep, especially if they’ve come demanding something. Sometimes, this can lead to unexpected or scary moments, which then become difficult to deal with. 

This is the situation a woman found herself in when strangers showed up at her house. She soon realized that they were claiming to be her half-siblings and had called her earlier as well. Due to the difficult childhood she faced, she panicked, and instead of talking to them, she called the police.

More info: Mumsnet

RELATED:

    Learning you’ve got half-siblings can be a very shocking experience, especially if they come to meet you out of the blue

    Woman looks cautiously out a door, concerned about strangers claiming to be half-siblings.

    Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster shared that she got a call from someone stating they were related to her, and then they showed up at her door, which triggered bad memories from childhood

    Text message stating strangers claiming shared parentage, difficult childhood, and decision to contact police.

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    Text discussing a surprise visit from strangers claiming relation, leading to a distressed reaction and police involvement.

    Text saying someone claimed to be family, and another visit from someone also stating the same. The door was shut again.

    Text describing an unexpected visit, mentioning meeting and work.

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    Woman answering door to strangers claiming to be half-siblings, outside suburban house.

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    Image credits: Samuel Peter / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The woman shared that she didn’t want to get to know her half-siblings, and that’s why when they showed up at her house, she called the police

    Text expressing fear and action taken when confronted by strangers claiming to be half-siblings.

    Text expressing worry about strangers claiming to be half-siblings and calling police.

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    Text expressing concern about strangers claiming to be half-siblings and tracing her address, causing worry.

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    Police officer on the phone, taking notes at a desk with a radio nearby.

    Image credits: Ahmet Kurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The woman’s husband went to talk to the strangers in order to get them to leave, but they refused to do so, which made the woman feel more agitated

    Text discussing a situation where half-siblings trace a woman's address, refuse to leave when asked, and police involvement is mentioned.

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    Text expressing fear and concern over strangers claiming to be half-siblings, waiting for police response.

    Text of message about unwanted visitors claiming to be half-siblings.

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    Text message discussing concerns over strangers claiming to be half-siblings and obtaining personal details.

    Woman looking concerned on a phone call, standing by a window, discussing strangers claiming to be half-siblings.

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    Image credits: Stockbusters / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster wrote a note to her half-siblings, after which they left, but they also mentioned that they would send her a letter in the hopes of building a relationship

    "Text describing strangers claiming to be woman's half-siblings, resolving with a note outside.

    Text about strangers claiming to be half-siblings and involving police after tracing a woman's address.

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    Text message about letters and avoiding past family underlined on white.

    Image credits: Highfivemum

    The woman mentioned that even if her half-siblings sent a letter, she’d decide what to do as her life was great, and she didn’t want it uprooted by anyone

    The poster was pretty shaken by the fact that two strangers had tried to contact her and claimed they were her half-siblings. She shared that she had a very difficult and complicated childhood, which is why she didn’t want anyone who could be related to her to get in touch. This trauma that she had dealt with was enough to make her want to steer clear of the strangers.

    To understand why this situation impacted the woman so much, Bored Panda reached out to Lisa A. Romano, who is a globally recognized certified life coach, bestselling author, and expert in codependency, narcissistic abuse recovery, and childhood trauma healing. She serves adult survivors of emotionally neglectful and dysfunctional homes.

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    Lisa empowers others to break the subconscious chains of the past, reclaim their authentic voice, and live consciously with self-love and emotional freedom. Her mission is to awaken the wounded to their inherent worth and guide them home—to themselves. She shared that “the impact of childhood trauma, as research continues to illuminate, is not only a mental or emotional burden—it extends far beyond the mind.”

    “The physical toll of trauma can manifest in chronic health issues like heart disease, autoimmune conditions, and hormonal imbalances, particularly related to stress hormones like cortisol. When the body is in a constant state of stress, it’s no surprise that this wear and tear affects every part of us, leaving deep scars that are not always visible.” 

    “Trauma is a persistent state of survival, an environment a defenseless child is trapped in. In this environment, a child’s brain remains on high alert, unable to relax or feel secure, anticipating the next emotional or physical threat. Many individuals who struggle with trauma-driven behaviors are unaware of the deep emotional wounds that are influencing their choices,” she added.

    The woman was obviously deeply affected by the whole situation and didn’t want to open up to them at all. Her childhood must have been very difficult, and connecting with strangers must have brought up all the feelings she didn’t want to confront.

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    Police car parked on a leafy street, addressing a report involving half-siblings.

    Image credits: Sigmund / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    When the OP realized that her half-siblings were refusing to go away, she immediately called the police. She felt petrified and didn’t know what else to do. After doing that, she began overthinking her actions and asked folks whether it was the right thing to do.

    Lisa Romano mentioned that “distrusting one’s emotions is a common outcome when one has experienced childhood trauma, whether one has experienced parental narcissism or alcoholism, has been gaslighted, parentified, abused, or emotionally neglected.” 

    “Imagine when someone who has experienced childhood trauma discovers they may have half-siblings. Imagine how difficult it might be to admit their true feelings about them. What if they don’t want to get to know them? What if they are angry, confused, and absolutely do not want to open themselves up to potentially being wounded by someone their minds tell them they may want to trust?”

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    Lisa added that “it takes time for an adult child of trauma to learn how to give themselves the space to feel what they feel, observe what they feel, and decide what they want to do about how they feel. They also need to learn how to give themselves permission to change their minds and not know exactly how to respond when they discover half siblings exist.”

    It’s clear that the woman felt bad about calling the police on her potential half-siblings, but she was only trying to protect herself. It’s hard to know what to do in situations like this but she was only acting on instinct.

    Do you think she did the right thing by calling the police? Share your views in the comments.

    People were divided on the issue, with some thinking the woman was overreacting and others suggesting she should be clearer with her half-siblings

    Comment discussing discomfort with unannounced visitors, related to woman's half-siblings situation.

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    Comment discussing strangers claiming to be half-siblings, with mention of police and Ancestry DNA groups.

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    Comment advising a woman to tell strangers claiming to be half-siblings she's not interested, before closing the door on them.

    Text response about woman's half-siblings contacting her, urging dialogue instead of police involvement.

    Text screenshot suggesting contacting police if strangers claiming to be half-siblings persist.

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    Comment suggesting police action for strangers claiming half-sibling status.

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    Text discussion about strangers claiming to be half-siblings warns of potential dangers or surprises.

    Text discussing advice on dealing with strangers claiming to be half-siblings and tracing her address.

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    Text conversation about possible half-siblings seeking contact and advice on handling the situation with empathy.

    Handwritten advice on dealing with strangers claiming to be half-siblings, suggesting a quick letter to avoid engagement.

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Read less »
    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    What do you think ?
    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's with all the people commenting that these "family members" did nothing wrong? They were in the driveway refusing to leave! That's trespassing, which is a criminal offense. But since they had her address, the whole thing is suss to me.

    Heather Dwyer
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    agreed! As soon as they were asked to leave and they didn't, that's trespassing!!! And illegal.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So showing up, unannounced, with upsetting news is not ok even the first time Write a letter, leave it until he mailbox or leave a note on the door. Maybe they were too nervous to think it through the first time But after the person clearly doesn't want to engage, you need to leave. It is a police matter if they don't.

    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There might be some news that is worth telling even if they’re facing resistance but then tell the husband. My thought is unless it’s “we’ve discovered that we have this genetic illness or predisposition,” then sharing DNA with somebody else doesn’t affect you.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    8 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They wanted “to speak to [OP] about something”? Well, when OP didn’t come out, but her husband did, that “something” should’ve been told to him so he could pass it on to her. Even if it was put in a sealed note and given to him to take to her. The fact that they wouldn’t leave and wouldn’t divulge to OP’s husband the important “something” they were there—-unannounced—-to discuss with her when it was obvious they were never going to talk to her, makes it almost seem like a scam to get inside someone’s house to demand money or rob them of other stuff. Or worse. I would at least make out a police report, so it’s on file if they try to come back again. If there are cameras that have clear pictures of them, hand them in to the cops with the report. Most people who try to contact long lost relatives, or relatives who don’t know about them, do so very very tentatively, because they are very much aware that they are strangers to those relatives, and wouldn’t like it if someone tried to barge into their homes claiming

    Leekier
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My one of my half sisters and I got in touch when we were in our 60s and 70s. I had some information and eventually made contact with what turned out to be her son in law on a genealogy website. Seven years on we still haven’t met; after our initial phone call she prefers to write. I can’t imagine turning up on her doorstep and demanding to speak with her; there’s something quite mad about the whole idea!

    Load More Replies...
    g90814
    Community Member
    8 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They can (and should have before even coming in person) say what they needed to pass on in a letter, especially after the first confrontation.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have to provide some documentary evidence; even then, if OP wants nothing to do with them, go away, or it appears just to be a money-grabbing exercise.

    Sue Ellen Bowen
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're refusing to leave the driveway they're trespassing and that makes it a police matter.

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're standing in the driveway and refusing to leave after being told, they're trespassing, which is a crime and something the police can handle.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keep in mind that most people don't understand that others do not think in the same way they do, it's a pattern These guys thought she would be thrilled. Having said that, I think waiting's the way to go, they may have gotten the message.

    Barbara Panda
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK. I'm stuck. What does DB stand for? I thought I had them all figured out but I've never seen this one.

    Alex Boyd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had trouble with that too. I thought "Dear Boyfriend" until she mentioned the husband. My next guess is Dear Brother.

    Load More Replies...
    CalamityOne
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing says "build a family relationship" like inspiring panic attacks!

    Load More Comments
    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's with all the people commenting that these "family members" did nothing wrong? They were in the driveway refusing to leave! That's trespassing, which is a criminal offense. But since they had her address, the whole thing is suss to me.

    Heather Dwyer
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    agreed! As soon as they were asked to leave and they didn't, that's trespassing!!! And illegal.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So showing up, unannounced, with upsetting news is not ok even the first time Write a letter, leave it until he mailbox or leave a note on the door. Maybe they were too nervous to think it through the first time But after the person clearly doesn't want to engage, you need to leave. It is a police matter if they don't.

    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There might be some news that is worth telling even if they’re facing resistance but then tell the husband. My thought is unless it’s “we’ve discovered that we have this genetic illness or predisposition,” then sharing DNA with somebody else doesn’t affect you.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    8 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They wanted “to speak to [OP] about something”? Well, when OP didn’t come out, but her husband did, that “something” should’ve been told to him so he could pass it on to her. Even if it was put in a sealed note and given to him to take to her. The fact that they wouldn’t leave and wouldn’t divulge to OP’s husband the important “something” they were there—-unannounced—-to discuss with her when it was obvious they were never going to talk to her, makes it almost seem like a scam to get inside someone’s house to demand money or rob them of other stuff. Or worse. I would at least make out a police report, so it’s on file if they try to come back again. If there are cameras that have clear pictures of them, hand them in to the cops with the report. Most people who try to contact long lost relatives, or relatives who don’t know about them, do so very very tentatively, because they are very much aware that they are strangers to those relatives, and wouldn’t like it if someone tried to barge into their homes claiming

    Leekier
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My one of my half sisters and I got in touch when we were in our 60s and 70s. I had some information and eventually made contact with what turned out to be her son in law on a genealogy website. Seven years on we still haven’t met; after our initial phone call she prefers to write. I can’t imagine turning up on her doorstep and demanding to speak with her; there’s something quite mad about the whole idea!

    Load More Replies...
    g90814
    Community Member
    8 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They can (and should have before even coming in person) say what they needed to pass on in a letter, especially after the first confrontation.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have to provide some documentary evidence; even then, if OP wants nothing to do with them, go away, or it appears just to be a money-grabbing exercise.

    Sue Ellen Bowen
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're refusing to leave the driveway they're trespassing and that makes it a police matter.

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're standing in the driveway and refusing to leave after being told, they're trespassing, which is a crime and something the police can handle.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keep in mind that most people don't understand that others do not think in the same way they do, it's a pattern These guys thought she would be thrilled. Having said that, I think waiting's the way to go, they may have gotten the message.

    Barbara Panda
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK. I'm stuck. What does DB stand for? I thought I had them all figured out but I've never seen this one.

    Alex Boyd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had trouble with that too. I thought "Dear Boyfriend" until she mentioned the husband. My next guess is Dear Brother.

    Load More Replies...
    CalamityOne
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing says "build a family relationship" like inspiring panic attacks!

    Load More Comments
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