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GF Keeps “Accidentally” Using Joint Account Money For Personal Expenses, Angry When BF Cuts Funds
Getting a joint account with a partner can be a big step in a relationship that either strengthens the bond or strains it. This is especially true if one person has bad financial habits and the other partner has to struggle to handle their mistakes.
That’s exactly what one man faced after he noticed that his girlfriend of a year had started “accidentally” dipping into their joint account money for her personal needs. At first, he tried to brush it off, but he eventually couldn’t ignore it as her expenses started snowballing.
More info: Reddit
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Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that he and his girlfriend had decided to open a joint account to use for shared expenses, and that they’d just transfer a set amount into it on payday
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After a while, the man began noticing that his partner kept dipping into their joint account for her personal expenses, but she brushed it off as “accidents” on her part
Image credits: user25451090 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster couldn’t ignore his girlfriend’s overspending any longer, especially after she spent $480 on furniture without even mentioning it to him
Image credits: Radiant_Gossamer
When the man finally decided to set boundaries about the use of their joint account, the woman called him controlling and said he made her feel “financially unsafe”
At first, when the poster and his girlfriend decided to get a shared bank account, there seemed to be no problem at all. Everything went smoothly for a few months as they transferred a portion of their income to the joint savings for common expenses like rent, utilities, groceries, and other important things.
According to financial experts, it can definitely be beneficial to have a shared bank account like this, but it’s also important to think through the decision carefully. Only if the couple can keep track of their individual contributions, budget wisely, and communicate honestly in case of discrepancies, might it be a good decision to start a joint account.
Unfortunately, in this case, it seems like the woman had bad financial habits and cleverly started using their shared savings for her own personal expenses. It all started with a few “small accidents” that she kept making excuses for and thought that her boyfriend wouldn’t bother much about.
It’s clear that the woman was trying to take advantage of her partner’s savings as she never asked him for permission before spending the money. In situations like this, lawyers explain that any person secretly using funds in a joint account can be liable for mismanagement and can also be made to face legal consequences.
Image credits: Camandona / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Slowly but steadily, the woman started ramping up her expenses, and the man was shocked when there was a $480 charge to their joint account. When he questioned his girlfriend about it, she tried to brush the whole thing off and said that she had just ordered a small desk for their place.
The poster could no longer deal with her secretive behavior, and he decided to set boundaries immediately. He told the woman that they should pause and reset because she was crossing limits with her excessive spending, and that it was not only impacting their budgeting, but had also caused them to get hit with a fee.
This kind of financial boundary-setting is exactly what professionals advise when dealing with a partner who is irresponsible with money. It’s important to protect your own assets by removing any money that’s kept in a joint account and any access they might have to your cards or bank information.
This is exactly why the man decided to keep their account card in a secure drawer, change his paycheck’s direct deposit back to his personal bank account, and only send the exact amount for bills to their joint savings. All of this obviously didn’t go down well with the woman who lashed out at him and called him “controlling” for setting such limits on her spending.
Do you think the OP did the right thing by setting such strict financial boundaries with his partner? We’d love to hear your opinions on this story.
People took the poster’s side and urged him to either get on the same page with his girlfriend about finances or to leave her
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What do you think ?
Crystalwitch60 1 day ago
That woman’s got a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget!! n she’s very much in the wrong , hell my 25 yr old is far better with money than her , has been since she was 16 in fact , I’d be doing a bit of deep diving , cos like lots said there’s every chance she’s deep in debt ! And doing the DARVO move to turn it on him ,NTA OP
Emilu 1 day ago (edited)
Hahaha, I love that saying (although my family uses "champagne taste on a beer budget"). I agree; I'd at least be checking to see if there's outstanding debt or she's just frivolous. Either way, if her way of dealing money doesn't work with OP's they either need to sit down and talk about how they can keep things separate -- if they want to make things work -- or split if they can't/don't come to a compromise.
Load More Replies...
sturmwesen 1 day ago
We have had a shared account for 15+ years. the only time I took it to buy something it wasn't meant for was when my own card wouldn't work. in those cases I put the money back the same day. she doesn't make mistakes but does it on purpose.
JayWantsACat 1 day ago
Her responses infuriated me, especially the labels of being "controlling" because she keeps spending the funds in a joint account that are just for bills? F**K OFF.
Emilu 1 day ago
I agree with you; she sounds like an ex-friend (I'll use fake names to make this easier to read; let's call ex-friend Ally) who told my best friend at the time (Chris, who was also her husband) that she had no interest in the family's finances and it was the "man's" job. When Ally and Chris had a massive blow-up eventually leading to them divorcing, Ally told all her friends that Chris was being financially controlling because she didn't have a say in where the money went. May I please reiterate that the only reason she didn't was because she didn't want to. She also didn't want to work (that was also the "man's" job) but she was more than happy to spend Chris' money. She's in a relationship with a woman now and, last I heard, they were both living off welfare. I guess that's what happens when you're in a relationship with another woman and you both believe that it's the man's job to work, lol.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 1 day ago
That woman’s got a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget!! n she’s very much in the wrong , hell my 25 yr old is far better with money than her , has been since she was 16 in fact , I’d be doing a bit of deep diving , cos like lots said there’s every chance she’s deep in debt ! And doing the DARVO move to turn it on him ,NTA OP
Emilu 1 day ago (edited)
Hahaha, I love that saying (although my family uses "champagne taste on a beer budget"). I agree; I'd at least be checking to see if there's outstanding debt or she's just frivolous. Either way, if her way of dealing money doesn't work with OP's they either need to sit down and talk about how they can keep things separate -- if they want to make things work -- or split if they can't/don't come to a compromise.
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 1 day ago
We have had a shared account for 15+ years. the only time I took it to buy something it wasn't meant for was when my own card wouldn't work. in those cases I put the money back the same day. she doesn't make mistakes but does it on purpose.
JayWantsACat 1 day ago
Her responses infuriated me, especially the labels of being "controlling" because she keeps spending the funds in a joint account that are just for bills? F**K OFF.
Emilu 1 day ago
I agree with you; she sounds like an ex-friend (I'll use fake names to make this easier to read; let's call ex-friend Ally) who told my best friend at the time (Chris, who was also her husband) that she had no interest in the family's finances and it was the "man's" job. When Ally and Chris had a massive blow-up eventually leading to them divorcing, Ally told all her friends that Chris was being financially controlling because she didn't have a say in where the money went. May I please reiterate that the only reason she didn't was because she didn't want to. She also didn't want to work (that was also the "man's" job) but she was more than happy to spend Chris' money. She's in a relationship with a woman now and, last I heard, they were both living off welfare. I guess that's what happens when you're in a relationship with another woman and you both believe that it's the man's job to work, lol.
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