Woman Shocked By Parents’ Reaction To Her Tattoo, Internet Says It’s Time For Serious Boundaries

Some parents never really accept the simple fact that once their kids are adults, they need to be able to live their own lives. After all, most children count the days towards “independence” and are unlikely to give any of it up once they reach maturity. So some parents employ underhanded schemes to get their adult children to do what they want.

A woman vented online about her immature and manipulative parents who threw a tantrum and skipped a family BBQ over her getting a tattoo. We reached out to the woman in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Most of us have done something our parents would not approve of

Tattoo artist finishing a woman's arm tattoo in a studio, focusing on boundaries.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

But one woman ended up being stressed and anxious when her parents threw a fit over her having a tattoo

Text discussing a woman's experience with her parents' negative reaction to her new tattoo, highlighting family boundaries.

Text message exchange about a woman's tattoo causes tension, highlighting the need for boundaries with parents.

Text message reveals parents' unexpected trip, highlighting family's need for serious boundaries.

Family gathering outdoors, discussing tattoo and boundaries, around a wooden table with food and drinks.

Image credits: Askar Abayev / pexels (not the actual photo)

Text message discussing parents' reaction to woman's tattoo and skipped BBQ plans, highlighting need for boundaries.

Text message discussing personal matters, highlighting boundaries after a woman's tattoo shocks her parents.

Text about a woman dealing with cryptic communication from her parents, related to her tattoo.

Text exchange highlights tattoo-caused tension and need for boundaries.

Elderly man in denim shirt, on phone. Room with plant in background.

Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo)

Text block about a woman being criticized by her parents over getting a tattoo, related to setting boundaries.

Text discussing parents' negative reaction to a boyfriend and tattoos, highlighting boundary issues.

Text expressing shock over parents' reaction to a tattoo and considering boundaries. Seeking advice and support.

Woman in thought with coffee, reflecting on parents' reaction to her tattoo, contemplating boundaries.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Text about a woman's relationship struggles and her parents disapproving of her boyfriend's influence on her son.

She later added some more thoughts

Text discussing support for coping with parental reactions and setting boundaries regarding a tattoo decision.

Image credits: ProfessorPizza

Abusers find ways to trick their victims into staying

For those who are curious, “DARVO,” as referenced by the woman in her update as well as some of the comments, stands for “Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender.” In short, this is a strategy used, generally, by abusive partners to “remove” blame from themselves and shift it towards the victim.

While in this story, it’s not an abusive partner and the actual abuse might not need law enforcement intervention, it’s quite telling just how well it covers the parent’s behavior. They refuse to communicate, constantly gaslight their daughter into thinking things are ok, while also making sure to ruin her day. They seem to truly think they are allowed to control their adult daughter and are willing to hurt her when they feel like it.

After all, keeping her in limbo is undoubtedly something that they know makes her deeply anxious. Instead of being good parents and doing their best to prevent any unnecessary worries, they instead are trying to maximize the mental stress they inflict. For example, they don’t share plans, strategically ignore calls and texts while constantly saying platitudes like “I love you more than anything!”

Man sitting outdoors with hands on head, displaying tattoos, appearing thoughtful.

Image credits: Mental Health America (MHA) / pexels (not the actual photo)

It’s not enough to say you love someone, you have to show it

Love isn’t just words, it has to contain acts as well. It’s already absurd enough that these parents have such a strong opinion about, of all things, tattoos, that they are perfectly willing to make it get in the way of any relationship with their own child, who is a thirty four year old independent adult.

Indeed, just the fact that they are so insistent on controlling not only her life but her literal body should be all the evidence needed to cut ties immediately. It can be hard to face the fact that one’s family are not good people, but ultimately, in situations like this, it’s best to not waste time and energy with folks who go out of their way to hurt you. This is why many people disown their own parents as soon as the opportunity arises.

Three women smiling and hugging, symbolizing family bonds and joy.

Image credits: Анастасия Триббиани / pexels (not the actual photo)

Parents are not entitled to control their adult children

It’s not entirely clear why the parents are so controlling. Perhaps they are the classic helicopter parents who don’t know how to stop. Or they are just narcissists and can’t stand not having their way, even if it’s not their life at all. The way they specifically act in ways to hurt their daughter would indicate the latter. One clear sign is their utter inflexibility. For example, it’s not that uncommon for older generations to dislike tattoos. However, they hold this position so strongly that they are willing to cancel events over it and gaslight their own daughter.

Similarly, they are pretty happy to keep her in the dark for the entire time, just so she keeps engaging with them, texting, calling, worrying. The controlling part is also a key indicator of narcissism. Generally, narcissists are obsessed with themselves, but parents of this kind often see their kids as an extension of themselves. The result is that in their warped minds, the children now also need to conform to whatever belief system they have.

Last, but not least, the woman’s behavior also matches that of a child of a narcissist. She seems attached to them, despite the way they treat her. Indeed, it would appear that until netizens did their best to help her, she was unaware that her parents were acting strange in the first place. The fact that her parents seem to be aware of just how much stress they are causing is reason enough for her to truly consider if she even wants them in her life, let alone at a BBQ.

Young woman smiling at elderly woman outdoors, focus on family boundaries.

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Other readers expressed their support and offered her some advice

Comment discussing parents' reaction to daughter's tattoo, highlighting need for boundaries.

Reddit comment discussing serious boundaries with parents over emotional manipulation and validation issues.

Reddit comment advising woman on setting boundaries with parents upset about her tattoo.

Text conversation about setting boundaries after parents' reaction to a tattoo.

Screenshot of online comment addressing woman’s tattoo, discussing boundaries with parents.

Comment discussing parental reaction to tattoos and the importance of setting boundaries.

Text response on boundaries after woman’s parents react to her tattoo, advising independence and prioritizing personal happiness.

Comment about parents’ emotional maturity and drama, addressing someone’s reaction to a tattoo.

Text screenshot discussing tattoos, parental reactions, and setting boundaries.

Reddit comment discussing boundaries in response to parents' negative reaction to a woman's tattoo.

Reddit comment supporting woman on establishing boundaries over parents’ reaction to her tattoo.

Text commentary advising a woman on setting boundaries with her parents regarding her tattoo.

Text response about setting boundaries with parents over disagreements.

Text advice on setting boundaries with parents over tattoos.

Text screenshot discussing a grandparent's view on tattoos, emphasizing parental boundaries.

Comment response about setting boundaries after a woman is shocked by her parents' tattoo reaction.

Woman discusses parents' reaction to tattoo; advice on setting boundaries shared on Reddit.

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