39 Times Parents Inflicted Emotional Damage On Their Kids With The Stupid Stuff They Told Them
The internet isn't all fun and games. While a large portion of it is killing time content, some of it tackles the more difficult aspects of life. And AskReddit, one of Reddit's bigger subreddits, is no exception.
Recently, there were talks of the worst things parents can ever say to their children that would be so devastating so as to destroy their self-esteem for the rest of their lives.
Scroll down to read the top answers from the now-viral post, and while you're at it, throw in your two cents into the discussion below.
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I went out a couple of times with a girl who was adopted while we were both in high school. One time I was over the house, she and her mom got into an argument, and her mom yelled out something along the lines of “Now I know why your parents put you up for adoption”.
Never in my life have I heard anything half as cruel.
Was over at a friend's house one day. Her mother called her into the kitchen to yell at her about *how* she stacked the plates in the cupboard. She did the dishes without being asked, dried them, put them away, and was STILL in trouble for it. I walked into the kitchen just in time to hear, "I knew I should've killed myself when I found out the abortion failed."
*That was like a brick wall to us both.* I called my mother to come pick me up and told her what happened. My friend stayed with us for the next couple of nights after that. Her mother told mine, "Keep her. I don't care. I'm tired of looking at her stupid face anyway. She can't do anything right."
She spent the entire time at my house anxiously waiting for my mother to snap at her for something, while my mother spent the entire time trying to make her understand that she's safe there.
I have custody of my 8 year old granddaughter. She was placed with me just weeks after her 6th birthday. During the time before her parents rights were terminated, they had visitation. My granddaughter had long hair that she hated having brushed. I asked her if she would like it short and she said she would but her momma wouldn't like it. Well, we got it cut anyway. She was so happy with it! I figured her mom would at least pretend to like it because the kiddo was so excited. NOPE. Mom flat out told her she hated it. Absolutely crushed that child.
In just another couple of weeks the adoption will be final, so yeah. Her mom is a c**t.
Why didn't you get an A. I got an A-. Nope. A+. Nope. Got 100%. Why didn't you get extra credit. That's when I gave up.
My kid is a straight A student. Not one B. She'd get a 92 and the wife started that same BS my dad pulled. Nipped that in the bud.
My parents always knew exactly how long it was until my 18th birthday, and would remind me that I'd be on my own when it arrived. It was the sword of Damocles hanging over my head, my whole childhood. I knew in my bones that I was not wanted or welcome, and that they looked forward to being free of me.
"Please God. Please just let her [unalive herself] already." I overheard my mother praying this to God about 6 months before an attempt that led to 1.5 years in a hospital and 6 months in a group home... 😞😞
Someone blaming the child for something like a divorce happening. - Someone did that to my daughter and she won’t say who. But I tell her every time it’s not her fault and it’s mine and her mom’s fault. She cries every time she says it’s her fault we aren’t together. I don’t know who is saying that to her but they need their a*s kicked for it.
"You are not depressed, there is nothing wrong with you. You are just lazy and make up excuses all the time.”
My mum: “You’re 22, you haven’t got the nappy marks off your bottom yet. What do you have to be depressed about?” (Turns out brain imbalance and a full nervous breakdown at 25…)
A direct quote from my mom “everyone else has normal kids. What did I do get get stuck with you?”
Me: should’ve used a condom and not abuse me. You get what you invest in
I was chubby for a portion of my childhood. At one point my dad told me other kids would mistake me for a girl because I was growing breasts because of my weight.
Who needs bullies at school when your parents can just come up with the worst insults?
One comment like this does more damage than a million bullies could dish up over a century.
Children are meant to be seen and not heard.
Decades later it still doesn’t feel natural to speak up.
"Why can't you be like (insert name of cousin/neighbor/classmate/any random human being)?"
When child is showing any type of emotion and the parent says what is wrong with you in a disgusted manner
“ you’re so smart, but so lazy! If you just applied yourself….”
If I had a proper DX as a kid my life would he easier too >,>
I got this constantly, too. Was diagnosed with ADHD FINALLY about a month and a half ago (at the age of 46). Now my mother insists shes never called me lazy: "I don't know where you heard that, but it certainly wasn't from me".
My dad used to make all of his kids and my mom run laps in the yard to lose weight. This started when I was 10.
He told me that “nobody would be your friend if they saw you in a swimsuit” at 8 when I got invited to a pool party at a friends house.
As you can imagine, I struggle pretty hard with body image issues. These are the absolute tip of the iceberg of what that man has said to me.
"It's your fault my life is so messed up."
Never had the energy to scream back that it's not my fault they slept without protection.
Dad used to make pig sounds when I ate. He still does it and I'm 39.
I wonder if he would make screech owl noises instead if you stabbed his hand with your fork...
"I brought you into this world. I give you a roof over your head" In response to any protests of any kind from the child. Like, is that why you have children? To lord it over their heads that you gave them life till the end of your days?
Wait until your dad gets home. Sure. Make the kid affraid of his dad. My late mom used to hate when she heard a mom say that.(or her dad)
Your brother/sister never gives me such difficulty...
My brother (4 years younger than me and the only boy out of 4 kids) and I have both struggled with substance abuse and our mental health. Guess who got a private rehabilitation hospital and full emotional support and who didn't?
My mother told me almost every day that I was the reason she couldn't go to college and become a lawyer.
It's perfectly legal to give your kids away for adoption but I guess they don't want to do that because that would make them look bad
My grandma used to tell my mom in the 80s “you look frumpy, men don’t like that”. She’s made sure to NEVER say anything like that to me.
Side note, my mom has always thought she looked frumpy, matronly, and fat because of her moms words, to this day even though my grandma has been gone 10 years. It wasn’t ever true. Her damn wedding dress fit my waist when I was a normal sized 12 year old, for gods sake
Cruel words stucks with you for forever. They keep on playing inside of your head like a record player.
My Dad called me a fat s**t when I was 15. Little did he know, I ate food for comfort because neither one of my parents acknowledged my existence.
Calling me fat was his favorite insult. I remember it from as early as 9.
The reverse for me. My mother used to call me "skinso" or "skinny mick" (which was actually pretty mild compared to some of the other verbal abuse she used to dish out). Great way to build up your kid's self confidence
Growing up my mom always told us “I love you but that doesn’t mean I have to like you” and tbh that still f***s with me at 25 😅
"Why are you so emotional"
Bottling up emotions f@uks u up later in life, cause you then stop showing any emotions at all.
Dad: I hope you f**k better than you cut grass or your future wife is going to be miserable
Me a 12 year old: …
And then this d#ckhead logs on to Facebook and complains how the El Gee Bee Tees are forcing sexuality on their kids.
"You just WANT there to be something wrong with you."
Diagnosed autism age 24 and ADHD age 29.
It was pure gaslighting because she dragged me around various pediatricians and therapists for years begging them to tell her what was wrong with me. When they couldn't give her an answer she decided I was just inherently lazy, pessimistic, oppositional. When I tried describing my executive dysfunction to her she handed me that lovely nugget.
Also, "Why can't you be more like [friend]?"
And her constantly checking out books from the library titled s**t like "how to handle your out of control teen" also made me feel a certain kind of way.
A lot of people don't understand that mental illness isn't black and white, nor is it something obvious. The best way I've seen executive dysfunction described is this: there's a task you have to do, but you go to do it and it says "sorry, you must be level 3 to do this", but you have no way of leveling up so you're just hitting a button futilely trying to do something but your brain just doesn't let you, even though you consciously know it needs to be done.
"You'll never be able to do that."
or
"You'll never amount to anything."
I've heard, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it" personally
Oh yeah. This and "I should have raised dogs" were my mother's favorites.
“Stop complaining, others have had it much worse than you!”
Put them in a old home and say "stop complaining, others have it much worse than you" 🤷🏻♀️
my dad, a chaplain in the Air Force for over 25 years and a current pastor who everyone thinks is the bees knees, told me that I was too self centered to kill myself, completely shattering any illusion i had that he loved me or wanted to see me free of pain. the sad thing is I thought he was one of the most compassionate people I knew up to that point, he'd adopted my siblings and me, and i bet on that he never thought Id deal with pain from trauma like this, until he reiterated it a few months ago.
Seriously, I hope a few months ago was the last time you've had contact with this man.
"We only had all you kids for the tax write-off."
Ex's dad said that to him as a teen. Thirty years later it was still affecting his relationship with his parents.
Heard the ole “men are dogs. Worse than dogs. I never wanted you. You ruined my life” spiel so much it kind of lost all its luster the older we got.
“you’re gonna eat all that?”
Sometimes this is reasonable, I always grab more food than I can eat. I don’t have any food issues, my eyes are just bigger than my stomach lol
Both have said if they could do it over again they wouldn't have kids.
Yup. My father told that to me when I was a teenager. It was like a hammer in the face. It wasn't in a context of "you turned out badly so I wish I didn't have kids" though. He was getting therapy and realizing all the way he and my mom f****d up when I was a kid and regretted not being a good parent. Plus he had discovered that some of his mental traits were thought to be passed on genetically and he was saying that, had he known that, he wouldn't have had children. All that being said, bone of it made it less painful in the moment.
I loved my mom dearly and miss her every day. I don't remember what grade I was in or even what class, but I was so proud that I had 98 percent in it well into the term. I shared with my mom and her response? "Where is the other 2 percent?" Maybe she was having a bad day or whatever, but it really hurt. Be kind. It costs nothing.
The things my "father" said to me. The good thing was that I learned to laugh at him. Every time he hit me or mocked me, I would laugh in his face and tell him to do it again because I barely felt him. That really hurt his pride and messed him up.
"Well then you can get cancer and die", after I expressed being afraid to go to the doctor.
What the actual f**k. Tracy I'm so sorry.
Load More Replies... "Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick." Verbatim quote, in response to getting 3 Cs on a report card.
My mom mostly stopped all the stuff she said to me when I was a kid but her current favorite thing is being controlling about my body and gender identity. She's decided that the most effective way to do that is to threaten to take away my binder and cry at me when I ask her politely to change how she refers to me. Honestly if she decides to take my binder I'm going to genuinely kms, I'm already close enough that would absolutely push me over the edge
Not sure how old you are so my advice on how to handle the person you referred to as your mom is dependent upon that. But my advice on want to kys is please, for the love a total stranger has for you... DONT. I tried 3 times. If had succeeded I never would've known happiness. So please don't let that person take their miserableness out on you and prevent you from knowing happiness too.
Load More Replies...
My aunt used to tell my cousin, "You have a pretty face, and if you would stop eating like a hog, others would see it, too." Then when my cousin had emotional issues and became morbidly obese, my aunt suggested, "I bet your brother could hit you hard enough to break your jaw. Then it could be wired shut and you would lose weight." My aunt now complains that her children don't speak to her or spend holidays with her.
ALSO: My cousin entered therapy a few years ago, had bariatric surgery and lost 350 pounds. She is now leading a full and healthy life and has not contacted her mother in almost 10 years.
Load More Replies... 
"No-one is interested in your whining." My mum to tweenage me when I tried to tell her about something that was scaring me. That was the last time for a long time that I confided anything to pretty much anyone.
"You're 3rd class. I'm 1st class." - All I wanted to do was go to the bathroom quickly in the morning.
When I was in grade school my mom used to point to random women in public an ask me if she was skinnier than them. She was 17 when she had me and by the time I was in high school she had gotten bored with being a mom. I was raising myself and my brother and sister by working at a Dairy Queen and selling weed when I was 16. She only showed up when she ran out of money and needed a place to crash
'get 100% next time'. I had gotten 27/50 on the previous maths test, and i went up to 40/50. I was very proud for a full 15 minutes. 'you're useless'. said by my mum, very often. also mocking me with her friends when i was talking about something i liked. thanks mum :)
One of my favorite things to hear from my parents was "I wish we'd had another child so we could've done a better job." Okay, thanks.
My Mother said so many cruel things to me. I was the inconvenience to her, I was the problem child when she played favourites. She was one more bully among the ones I dealt with at school. After a failed suicide attempt, my Dad (who later apologized for it) asked me "what would that do to your mother?" - I am an invisible adult. I didn't matter. Your parents f*** you up cos they are f***ed up.
I still live with my parents, cause I’m not an adult yet. He’s said some pretty rude stuff to me, but nothing that bad. He tucked me in when I was upset once, but then ruined it the next day by complaining how annoying I was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. And then he says often that he’d rather have no child than a gay child (guess what I am…)
When I was diagnosed with Depression, my mother took it as a personal attack on her for "Not being happy with what you have." Then bitched about how all my doctors were telling me to hate her. She still takes it as an affront that I don't "just choose to be happy."
I'd say the worst I ever heard was when my father told me he was going to rape me every night until I stopped being a girl. What a psychopath.
Holy s**t! I hope you are safe now and have opportunities to heal from that trauma. Whether he did it or not, saying it is terrifying and abusive.
Load More Replies...
And this is why some of us have something called complex PTSD (or cPTSD), a type of PTSD in which we *never had a PRE-trauma life*. And I don't mean, "Oh I didn't get a car for my birthday", I mean a doc asking y ou 40 years later, "WTF happened to you, your X-ray shows all these scars!" trauma. (The X-fay doesn't show the nightmares, the anxieties, etc.)
Oh, too bad. If you had just TRIED harder you could have done SO MUCH BETTER!
Depends on the context ofcourse, but I see nothing wrong with that in general. When my kid got a C in math test and was upset about it, I asked her how hard was she studying and to show me the notebook she uses for solving math problems when she studies. This time it was empty. Well ofcourse I told her "If you had studied not harder, but AT ALL, you could've gotten a better grade, now you get what you got. It is important to practice solving problems when you study." I really believe I said nothing wrong.
Load More Replies...
I'm not perfect, I have messed up every day with my kids. But i have NEVER told them that I regret. I tell them every day they are loved, and special, and beautiful. I did ask one if she was stupid once. But she had just tried to walk into a moving train. I had to grab her and pull her back. She was 9, old enough to know that walking into a moving train will end in a horrible death.
I loved my mom dearly and miss her every day. I don't remember what grade I was in or even what class, but I was so proud that I had 98 percent in it well into the term. I shared with my mom and her response? "Where is the other 2 percent?" Maybe she was having a bad day or whatever, but it really hurt. Be kind. It costs nothing.
The things my "father" said to me. The good thing was that I learned to laugh at him. Every time he hit me or mocked me, I would laugh in his face and tell him to do it again because I barely felt him. That really hurt his pride and messed him up.
"Well then you can get cancer and die", after I expressed being afraid to go to the doctor.
What the actual f**k. Tracy I'm so sorry.
Load More Replies... "Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick." Verbatim quote, in response to getting 3 Cs on a report card.
My mom mostly stopped all the stuff she said to me when I was a kid but her current favorite thing is being controlling about my body and gender identity. She's decided that the most effective way to do that is to threaten to take away my binder and cry at me when I ask her politely to change how she refers to me. Honestly if she decides to take my binder I'm going to genuinely kms, I'm already close enough that would absolutely push me over the edge
Not sure how old you are so my advice on how to handle the person you referred to as your mom is dependent upon that. But my advice on want to kys is please, for the love a total stranger has for you... DONT. I tried 3 times. If had succeeded I never would've known happiness. So please don't let that person take their miserableness out on you and prevent you from knowing happiness too.
Load More Replies... My aunt used to tell my cousin, "You have a pretty face, and if you would stop eating like a hog, others would see it, too." Then when my cousin had emotional issues and became morbidly obese, my aunt suggested, "I bet your brother could hit you hard enough to break your jaw. Then it could be wired shut and you would lose weight." My aunt now complains that her children don't speak to her or spend holidays with her.
ALSO: My cousin entered therapy a few years ago, had bariatric surgery and lost 350 pounds. She is now leading a full and healthy life and has not contacted her mother in almost 10 years.
Load More Replies... "No-one is interested in your whining." My mum to tweenage me when I tried to tell her about something that was scaring me. That was the last time for a long time that I confided anything to pretty much anyone.
"You're 3rd class. I'm 1st class." - All I wanted to do was go to the bathroom quickly in the morning.
When I was in grade school my mom used to point to random women in public an ask me if she was skinnier than them. She was 17 when she had me and by the time I was in high school she had gotten bored with being a mom. I was raising myself and my brother and sister by working at a Dairy Queen and selling weed when I was 16. She only showed up when she ran out of money and needed a place to crash
'get 100% next time'. I had gotten 27/50 on the previous maths test, and i went up to 40/50. I was very proud for a full 15 minutes. 'you're useless'. said by my mum, very often. also mocking me with her friends when i was talking about something i liked. thanks mum :)
One of my favorite things to hear from my parents was "I wish we'd had another child so we could've done a better job." Okay, thanks.
My Mother said so many cruel things to me. I was the inconvenience to her, I was the problem child when she played favourites. She was one more bully among the ones I dealt with at school. After a failed suicide attempt, my Dad (who later apologized for it) asked me "what would that do to your mother?" - I am an invisible adult. I didn't matter. Your parents f*** you up cos they are f***ed up.
I still live with my parents, cause I’m not an adult yet. He’s said some pretty rude stuff to me, but nothing that bad. He tucked me in when I was upset once, but then ruined it the next day by complaining how annoying I was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. And then he says often that he’d rather have no child than a gay child (guess what I am…)
When I was diagnosed with Depression, my mother took it as a personal attack on her for "Not being happy with what you have." Then bitched about how all my doctors were telling me to hate her. She still takes it as an affront that I don't "just choose to be happy."
I'd say the worst I ever heard was when my father told me he was going to rape me every night until I stopped being a girl. What a psychopath.
Holy s**t! I hope you are safe now and have opportunities to heal from that trauma. Whether he did it or not, saying it is terrifying and abusive.
Load More Replies... And this is why some of us have something called complex PTSD (or cPTSD), a type of PTSD in which we *never had a PRE-trauma life*. And I don't mean, "Oh I didn't get a car for my birthday", I mean a doc asking y ou 40 years later, "WTF happened to you, your X-ray shows all these scars!" trauma. (The X-fay doesn't show the nightmares, the anxieties, etc.)
Oh, too bad. If you had just TRIED harder you could have done SO MUCH BETTER!
Depends on the context ofcourse, but I see nothing wrong with that in general. When my kid got a C in math test and was upset about it, I asked her how hard was she studying and to show me the notebook she uses for solving math problems when she studies. This time it was empty. Well ofcourse I told her "If you had studied not harder, but AT ALL, you could've gotten a better grade, now you get what you got. It is important to practice solving problems when you study." I really believe I said nothing wrong.
Load More Replies... I'm not perfect, I have messed up every day with my kids. But i have NEVER told them that I regret. I tell them every day they are loved, and special, and beautiful. I did ask one if she was stupid once. But she had just tried to walk into a moving train. I had to grab her and pull her back. She was 9, old enough to know that walking into a moving train will end in a horrible death.
