Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser
BoredPanda Add Post

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Parents Get Mad At Woman After She Asks $35/Hour To Babysit Their 3 Children
220points
User submission
1.4K
124K
Social Issues2 years ago

Parents Get Mad At Woman After She Asks $35/Hour To Babysit Their 3 Children

Time is money. So when redditor HENNYDEFN was asked by her cousin to babysit their 3 kids, the 24-year-old immediately thought of the freelance work she would have to sacrifice for it. Because of that, she wanted to get paid. $35 an hour. But it made her cousin “go crazy.” The feud left HENNYDEFN confused — was she supposed to ask for less money? Or maybe she should’ve done it for free? Or perhaps the cousin is the one who’s being unreasonable because she only thought of herself? Looking for answers, HENNYDEFN told the entire story on reddit, asking whether or not she was the asshole. Continue scrolling to learn about the whole situation and let us know your verdict in the comments.

If you end up in a similar situation, you don’t need to go to Dr. Phil to settle it. Aldo Civico, a Ph.D. with over 25 years of experience in leadership development and conflict management, says you can do it yourself in just three steps.

Firstly, consider your own perspective. “This … requires you to achieve a higher degree of self-awareness. You do so by asking yourself what’s really bothering you,” Civico wrote on Psychology Today. “What pain are you trying to avoid? What are you protecting yourself from? Through the emotions and the behavior you are displaying, what needs are you trying to satisfy? Are you looking to be significant to the other? Or to feel secure? Are you trying to connect with the other, or to feel connected with yourself (especially if you feel down, sad, or depressed)?”

Go deep and clarify to yourself what the conflict is really about. “In fact, chances are that while the fight is about a specific issue, in reality, you are after something that lies at a deeper level. What is it? Get clarity, and you will be able to come up with different options on how you can get what you really want.”

When you get this done, think about the other’s perspective. It’s just as important as your own. “It requires you to have empathy and through empathy to widen your understanding of what’s really going on. Put yourself in the shoes of the other. For a moment, suspend your own judgment and do your best to see the situation you’re confronting from the perspective of the other.”

Here are some of the questions you can ask yourself to find the answers you are looking for: what might influence the position taken by the other? What experiences shape his or her understanding? What’s going on in the life of the other? What needs is she or he satisfying with a particular behavior? Is the other looking for significance? Or rather for love and connection? Is it a way to feel secure? What’s the real intention of the other party?

Finally, get the third party’s perspective. “Often, someone from the outside can give us a fresh perspective about a problem you are trying to resolve,” Civico explained. “In this step, you put yourself in the position of a third party observing the situation you are involved in. Imagine you’re sitting in a movie theatre, watching your conflict projected on a screen as if it were a movie. What is it all about?”

Seeing the situation through three different lenses should allow you to get necessary emotional detachment, gain valuable insight, and to have a broader and deeper understanding of the conflict, necessary for resolving it.

People thought the girl wasn’t to blame

124Kviews

Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Leave a comment
Zoe's Mom
Community Member
2 years ago

Don't you know that because you're family, it should have been done for FREE?! Nah..you did right, they did wrong! 3 DAYS..REALLY 3 DAYS! It looks like THEY were the ones trying to take advantage of you. You stand your ground.

Seabeast
Community Member
2 years ago

But, but... She's female! That means that she should be tripping over herself for the chance to spend time caring for children! /sarc

Load More Replies...
Erin
Community Member
2 years ago

I hate it when people think that just because we are women we want to take care of children and should be grateful for the opportunity. I went through this just this past holiday when, because I was off work (vacation time from my demanding job) I was told that I should keep my aunt and uncle's grandkids. I flat out said no and was told I was selfish and ungrateful and a bitch. Here is the deal: 1) it is my vacation, too 2) I didn't have kids because I don't want to care for them 3) I am not obligated to anyone because they are family and I have time off of work.

WillemPenn
Community Member
2 years ago

"Your poor planning is not my crisis."

Load More Replies...
Lea Springstead
Community Member
2 years ago

She just should have said no, she’d be losing too much money. $35 an hour for 3 days is pushing $1,000, I wouldn’t want to pay a family member a months rent for babysitting. She should have just said she can’t, and the parents should have made plans ahead of time.

Bonnie Clyde
Community Member
2 years ago

No kidding - I LIKE doing math for a living and you still have to pay me for my time. I don't like dealing with kids. You want me to do that job it's going to cost you. The parent's lack of planning is not OPs problem.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
Zoe's Mom
Community Member
2 years ago

Don't you know that because you're family, it should have been done for FREE?! Nah..you did right, they did wrong! 3 DAYS..REALLY 3 DAYS! It looks like THEY were the ones trying to take advantage of you. You stand your ground.

Seabeast
Community Member
2 years ago

But, but... She's female! That means that she should be tripping over herself for the chance to spend time caring for children! /sarc

Load More Replies...
Erin
Community Member
2 years ago

I hate it when people think that just because we are women we want to take care of children and should be grateful for the opportunity. I went through this just this past holiday when, because I was off work (vacation time from my demanding job) I was told that I should keep my aunt and uncle's grandkids. I flat out said no and was told I was selfish and ungrateful and a bitch. Here is the deal: 1) it is my vacation, too 2) I didn't have kids because I don't want to care for them 3) I am not obligated to anyone because they are family and I have time off of work.

WillemPenn
Community Member
2 years ago

"Your poor planning is not my crisis."

Load More Replies...
Lea Springstead
Community Member
2 years ago

She just should have said no, she’d be losing too much money. $35 an hour for 3 days is pushing $1,000, I wouldn’t want to pay a family member a months rent for babysitting. She should have just said she can’t, and the parents should have made plans ahead of time.

Bonnie Clyde
Community Member
2 years ago

No kidding - I LIKE doing math for a living and you still have to pay me for my time. I don't like dealing with kids. You want me to do that job it's going to cost you. The parent's lack of planning is not OPs problem.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
Popular on Bored Panda
Popular on Bored Panda
User Submissions
Also on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda