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Cheater Wrecks His Family, Then Expects Ex To Get A Gift For His Affair Kid, Gets A Reality Check
Infidelity can destroy entire families. When your partner cheats on you, it’s not just you who gets hurt. If you had children together, the fallout can affect them, too. Meanwhile, if your ex had any kids outside your marriage, then it could complicate any interactions with them even further. That being said, it’s no child’s ‘fault’ that they were born because someone cheated.
An anonymous woman, a mother of three, went viral after asking the AITAH online community for help regarding a very sensitive situation. She explained how her ex-husband tried to guilt-trip her into buying gifts for his “affair child.” Then, when she refused, he lashed out. You’ll find the full story as you scroll down. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
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Co-parenting can be incredibly difficult with an ex who cheated on you. Boundaries are essential, no matter what
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
An anonymous woman shared how she refused to buy her husband’s “affair child” an Xmas present, and how this made him lash out
Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: NovelDot112
Losing your job is very stressful, but there are solutions if you’re struggling, from temporary work to charity
The woman’s story went viral on the AITAH subreddit. At the time of writing, it had 11k upvotes and got a whopping 5.4k comments. Later, the story spread to other corners of the internet.
Most internet users who read the woman’s post were very supportive of her and how she handled the entire situation. They thought it was unfair of her cheating ex-husband to blame her for his own financial shortcomings.
Many readers pointed out that if money was tight, the man could have gotten temporary work to save up at least some money for Xmas. Others noted that desperate parents can also reach out to local charities for support.
In short, there are always plenty of options for parents in need, but it requires them to set their pride aside. Accepting charity, whether from an organization or the local community, can be difficult—but if your goal is for your child to have a wholesome Christmas celebration, then that should be the priority, not how you feel about the situation.
It’s also obvious that it’s not fair for anyone to blame their ex for their own financial problems. Losing your job is tough. It’s one of the most stressful things that can happen to anyone. And it can be even tougher when you’re a single parent with a small child to look after.
If you’re struggling to find a new job, you may need to develop new skills in order to change career paths
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s difficult to get out of a situation like that, but not impossible. The author mentioned that her ex lost his job in January, meaning that he’s been jobless for nearly a year. This indicates that he might be working in an industry that’s struggling or that he’s not putting in ‘enough’ effort into the job search.
This is easier said than done. Changing jobs is hard. But if you can’t find work, you may need to upskill or look for work in other towns, areas, and even states. If you’re an incredibly skilled worker in an industry that is losing its steam, you will need to adapt sooner or later.
There are various government programs and charitable labor-oriented organizations that offer tools, guidelines, and advice for anyone hoping to change jobs. That’s on top of all the free online sources that everyone with an internet connection has access to.
The internet is full of free and paid courses that can help you develop new skills, and you can always study independently, too. It’s a question of focus, perseverance, discipline, and will, not of resources.
The job market in the US is in a peculiar situation right now. Unemployment is up, but wage growth is outpacing inflation
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
As reported by CNN, the US government’s latest employment figures indicate that the nation’s job market “remains in good shape overall.”
On average, in the six months through November 2024, employers added around 143k jobs a month. Though unemployment is up from a year ago, it’s still historically low. Meanwhile, wage growth continues to outpace inflation. But some numbers are worrying.
Average hourly earnings rose 4% in November 2024 compared to the year before. Though, to be fair, in November 2023, average hourly earnings rose 4.3%. Meanwhile, the number of Americans unemployed for 26+ weeks rose to 1.66 million last month, the highest since January 2022.
Furthermore, the labor market may still not have fully recovered from the Covid-19 pandemic. Currently, the labor force participation rate (how many Americans are employed or actively looking for a job) fell in November 2024 to 62.5%.
What are your thoughts about the entire situation, dear readers? Do you think the author handled the situation right? Would you have done anything differently if you were in her shoes? What do you think her ex should do to get back on his feet and take better care of his daughter? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
The author shared some additional context while interacting with her readers
Most internet users were supportive of the woman. Here’s how they saw the situation
A few people thought that everything could have been handled differently
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Gavin Johnson 11 months ago (edited)
Weaponising children is low. Their children have a sister, they should be encouraged to accept her and the adults need to step up and be mature about it. What’s happened with the idiot adults shouldn’t be visited on any of the children. My ex and I share a daughter, she’s the most important person in our relationship, we failed as a married couple but that’s no reason to mess her life up by being angry or bitter parents. My wider family has ‘half’ brothers and sisters in it, adopted children and foster children, they are all family and the ‘half’ or adopted bit is not mentioned, they are brothers and sisters.
Angie May 11 months ago
The part where she insists that she doesn't discourage her kids from having a relationship with the half-sister but "can't bring herself to encourage it" says it all. The kids don't need her to discourage it because they can probably pick up on the fact mom doesn't want them to be close to her. If that's the energy she's giving out kids are smart enough to read into it, especially at 9 and 11. I feel bad for that poor little girl.
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Julia Cargile 11 months ago
I'll get the child a present if you give me the address. You're mean.
Zoe Vokes 11 months ago
Yes she comes across as mean but the ex is putting all the responsibility for this child’s present on OP for some reason. He couldn’t ask any friend, neighbour or random person in his life for help rather than insist it’s his ex’s responsibility - the ex who is clearly still upset and angry at him for cheating and breaking up their family. It’s not the innocent child’s fault but I don’t know why he’s trying to blame OP for the situation. He called her cruel and a selfish b**ch yet he hurt his entire family including his kids without caring by having an affair. I think OP should have got his daughter something but she isn’t obligated to. Her ex must have somebody he’s closer to in his life than his bitter, angry ex. Is it because she’s a mother that she’s supposed to feel maternal love for all children?
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Ash 11 months ago
NTA, because OP has no ethical duty to do any more than she is doing. ...That being said, I don't think it would hurt to demonstrate to her kids that it's okay to be friends with their half-sister and not exclude her, and it would be good to ask them if they want to get her a gift for Christmas and help them do that. OP has no requirement to have a relationship with the child, but I do think it actually is mean for her kids to ignore her and avoid her completely when they're in the same house. NTA but it might be a good idea for OP to sit down and have a good think about how the child should be treated rather than what the ex deserves (nothing).
Kate Johnson 10 months ago
The sad reality is, when adult are selfish pos and have affairs and babies from affairs, the children suffer. It's NOT the fault of the injured party here, the one who was lied to and cheated on, to "make things work" for the scumbag cheater. She has no obligation whatsoever to facilitate anything regarding the affair baby. Any efforts in that direction are going to be seen by him as her "signing on" to help him out with his kid. BIG MISTAKE.
Load More Replies... Gavin Johnson 11 months ago (edited)
Weaponising children is low. Their children have a sister, they should be encouraged to accept her and the adults need to step up and be mature about it. What’s happened with the idiot adults shouldn’t be visited on any of the children. My ex and I share a daughter, she’s the most important person in our relationship, we failed as a married couple but that’s no reason to mess her life up by being angry or bitter parents. My wider family has ‘half’ brothers and sisters in it, adopted children and foster children, they are all family and the ‘half’ or adopted bit is not mentioned, they are brothers and sisters.
Angie May 11 months ago
The part where she insists that she doesn't discourage her kids from having a relationship with the half-sister but "can't bring herself to encourage it" says it all. The kids don't need her to discourage it because they can probably pick up on the fact mom doesn't want them to be close to her. If that's the energy she's giving out kids are smart enough to read into it, especially at 9 and 11. I feel bad for that poor little girl.
Load More Replies... Julia Cargile 11 months ago
I'll get the child a present if you give me the address. You're mean.
Zoe Vokes 11 months ago
Yes she comes across as mean but the ex is putting all the responsibility for this child’s present on OP for some reason. He couldn’t ask any friend, neighbour or random person in his life for help rather than insist it’s his ex’s responsibility - the ex who is clearly still upset and angry at him for cheating and breaking up their family. It’s not the innocent child’s fault but I don’t know why he’s trying to blame OP for the situation. He called her cruel and a selfish b**ch yet he hurt his entire family including his kids without caring by having an affair. I think OP should have got his daughter something but she isn’t obligated to. Her ex must have somebody he’s closer to in his life than his bitter, angry ex. Is it because she’s a mother that she’s supposed to feel maternal love for all children?
Load More Replies... Ash 11 months ago
NTA, because OP has no ethical duty to do any more than she is doing. ...That being said, I don't think it would hurt to demonstrate to her kids that it's okay to be friends with their half-sister and not exclude her, and it would be good to ask them if they want to get her a gift for Christmas and help them do that. OP has no requirement to have a relationship with the child, but I do think it actually is mean for her kids to ignore her and avoid her completely when they're in the same house. NTA but it might be a good idea for OP to sit down and have a good think about how the child should be treated rather than what the ex deserves (nothing).
Kate Johnson 10 months ago
The sad reality is, when adult are selfish pos and have affairs and babies from affairs, the children suffer. It's NOT the fault of the injured party here, the one who was lied to and cheated on, to "make things work" for the scumbag cheater. She has no obligation whatsoever to facilitate anything regarding the affair baby. Any efforts in that direction are going to be seen by him as her "signing on" to help him out with his kid. BIG MISTAKE.
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