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Dress Code Costs This Bride One Maid Of Honor, She Doesn’t Learn From Her Mistake
Young woman with alopecia wearing a colorful headscarf, looking directly at the camera with a serious expression.
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Dress Code Costs This Bride One Maid Of Honor, She Doesn’t Learn From Her Mistake

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Weddings are usually all about the couple’s dream day: every flower, flavor, and playlist picked to match their vibe. And hey, fair enough! It’s their big moment. But just because they’re calling the shots doesn’t mean they get a blank check to control everyone else. Guests and wedding parties still have their own lives, looks, and boundaries; and that deserves respect too.

Recently, a woman with alopecia shared her dilemma. Her cousin, the bride, invited her to be Maid of Honor, but with one strict condition: she couldn’t wear her headscarf or wig. The bride reportedly called these coverings “a disgrace.” This left the author, who’s worn a headscarf since childhood, questioning whether to attend at all. Unsure of what to do, she decided to speak with the groom before making any big calls. Keep reading to find out how this family drama unfolded and what decision she made in the end.

RELATED:

    Wedding celebrations can take a difficult turn when the bride or groom sets too many strict demands

    Image credits: halfpoint/Envato (not the actual photo)

    A woman with alopecia seeks advice online after her cousin, the bride, requested she not wear any head coverings at the wedding

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    Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: autistic_artist_4501

    Alopecia areata is a surprisingly common autoimmune disease that affects millions of people worldwide

    Image credits: TDyuvbanova/Envato (not the actual photo)

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    Alopecia means hair loss, but it can affect people in different ways. For some, it might only cause hair loss in one spot, while others experience it across multiple areas on the scalp, face, or even the whole body.

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    There are several types of alopecia. These include common types like male and female pattern hair loss, as well as autoimmune forms like alopecia areata. Male pattern hair loss causes hair thinning along the hairline and crown of the head, often leading to baldness. It’s very common, affecting nearly half of men over 40, and tends to be genetic. Unfortunately, there’s no way to completely prevent it.

    For many women, hair thinning is a gradual process that can progress over the years, affecting the entire scalp. Sometimes higher levels of androgens (male hormones) can play a role in the condition. While treatments can help slow down the process, many women find that certain hair products can effectively cover thinning areas.

    Alopecia areata is a bit different. It’s an autoimmune condition where the body’s immune system mistakenly attacks hair follicles, leading to patchy hair loss. Though the precise cause remains unclear, it’s often a mix of genetic and environmental factors, with triggers like stress possibly playing a role.

    Telogen effluvium is another type of alopecia that occurs when a shock—either physical or emotional—disrupts the hair growth cycle, temporarily stopping new hair growth and causing older hairs to shed. Common triggers include major events like childbirth, illness, surgery, or even periods of intense stress. But telogen effluvium is usually temporary.

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    People with alopecia often find various ways to cope that help them feel comfortable and confident

    Image credits: Iakobchuk/Envato (not the actual photo)

    Treatment options for alopecia really depend on what’s causing it. If hair loss is linked to an underlying health issue, sometimes addressing that root cause can lead to hair regrowth. For certain types, like androgenetic alopecia, medications might slow down the process, and autoimmune-related types like alopecia areata can sometimes be managed with cortisone treatments or other therapies prescribed by specialists.

    But if treatments aren’t effective, people find creative and empowering ways to cope. Some choose wigs, head coverings, or even head shaving as a style statement. Others experiment with products that add volume to thinning areas or even explore options like eyebrow tattoos to create a natural look. The approach is often as unique as the person, turning coping mechanisms into forms of self-expression.

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    In this case, the bride’s request for the author not to wear anything on her head, including a wig or headscarf, struck a nerve with many readers. It’s understandable why people felt this was insensitive. For someone dealing with a medical condition like alopecia, covering one’s head can be a vital part of self-confidence and comfort, especially on significant occasions. Weddings are meaningful events, but so is respecting personal boundaries and self-expression.

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    What do you think? Should the bride have been more flexible with the author’s needs, or does she have a right to set the standards she wants for her special day? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

    Many people online were disappointed with the cousin’s lack of empathy and controlling behavior

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    Poll Question

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    Nikita Manot

    Nikita Manot

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

    Read less »
    Nikita Manot

    Nikita Manot

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    What do you think ?
    marianne eliza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't religion a wonderful thing? It's brought peace and harmony, love and acceptance all over the world. Not.

    marianne eliza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And, if you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run.

    Load More Replies...
    Squirrelly Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cousin is an utter idjit. She was catholic, a religion that traditionally had women cover their heads. She coverted to Judaism, a religion that calls for everyone to cover their heads to honor God.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't bridezilla "leaving the church" by becoming Jewish? That im itself is complete hypocrisy.

    AndyR
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's either hypocrisy for leaving or hypocrisy for pretending to convert.

    Load More Replies...
    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tink carefully, OP. If you refuse to be the bride's MOH, she may cut off all contact with you forever. Oh, wait ...

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Crikey, she could teach Irish nuns a thing or two about cruelty.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Magdalen laundries were pretty much legalized slavery.

    Load More Replies...
    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP doesn't say whether fiancé is orthodox Jewish. Very orthodox Jewish women shave their hair after marriage and wear wigs. (Did school report on different wedding customs)

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope op told her not to wear make up, as a bride everyone should see her ugly face god gave her

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh even better I hope the bride wakes up with a rash on her face and the worst hair day possible.

    Load More Replies...
    Hyacinth (Any pronouns)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohh, converting for marriage. That's not gonna end well.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen happy marriages where one spouse converted to make the other happy. In this case, the bigger threat to the marriage is the bride using her former religion to be cruel. Sounds like she's converting more for the wedding itself.

    Load More Replies...
    murmelinpaiva
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some Jewish people wear wigs to hide their true hair. It's a cultural thing.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This bride is saying "I want you to be my MOH, but only so I can publicly humiliate you by forcing you to display your hairloss, and tell everyone that your immune disorder is a punishment from god." Why would you even go to the wedding?

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cousin is a control freak and I feel sorry for the b/f if he doesn't know it yet. I wouldn't go anywhere near that wedding. O would either say I'm not going or just happen to be sick that day.

    Leg less In Minneapolis
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This isn’t religion. Face this bride wants to look better and get the “pity me I have a sick I my life” vote

    wobbly jelly
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    buy a scarf or tea-towel with a print of the Turin shroud and mess it up a bit and send it to her - saying this is my blessed scarf.....

    Trillian
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are barely in contact, why would she agree to be MOH in the first place? Do people want to go to weddings so bad?

    CP
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The world would be a much better place if humans stopped believing these myths were real.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've taken religion classes I find them interesting and what I've always realized is we all want to believe in something bigger than us God whatever. For me personally it's that there's just somebody higher they have no name. What becomes a problem is the people that try and use their belief system to explain away they're negative behavior. I feel like people need to instead of saying well my family is Jewish so I am, look at every religion and find one that perhaps meets their beliefs so they're more likely to follow them and follow what they preach. Heck or don't follow one but following blindly is the problem.

    Load More Replies...
    Flo
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your God acts like a grumpy spoilt brat not getting what he wants then quite frankly, your God can go f*ck himself.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eugh lunatic god squad alert right there , the bible is a myth all fiction n religion is exactly the same ! Used to brain wash people like these. stuff that wedding op she’s a nasty bridezilla totally , and not a person I’d wanna have anything to do with !

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, the Lord is fine with the rapist Trump, but punishes a girl for not believing? Even if that made sense I'd say "f**k you" to a god like that. And to all who worship it.

    Wharfrat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    None so judgemental as a god-botherer.

    Emerald Gal28
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No need to explain, she's a narcissist, don't go.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also losing hair is emotionally difficult. Trying to accept the loss and as she pointed out it ends up every where! I wear an avocado shower cap to clean my bathroom and fold laundry or I chase it! So her sister should also be happy that she cares enough to stop her hair from being every where! I hope I made people laugh a bit with the avocado comment.

    Load More Replies...
    Bumpuff
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an equal opportunities hater I hate all religions equally, but I have to admit I have an extra bit of hate for the catholic cult. They truly are the most misogynistic b a s t a r d s. Not to mention the kiddy fiddling. 🤮

    Dori
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if you say that because the Catholics have it out in the open. I've heard stories from Evangelical branches about their pastors, and youth pastors especially, that are shocking. It gets covered up. Those churches preach one thing and do another. Not all, but too many.

    Load More Replies...
    northernsoulgw
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two tyrant jews in todays stories. Religion and expectations of orthodox jews is crazy!

    marianne eliza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't religion a wonderful thing? It's brought peace and harmony, love and acceptance all over the world. Not.

    marianne eliza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And, if you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run.

    Load More Replies...
    Squirrelly Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cousin is an utter idjit. She was catholic, a religion that traditionally had women cover their heads. She coverted to Judaism, a religion that calls for everyone to cover their heads to honor God.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't bridezilla "leaving the church" by becoming Jewish? That im itself is complete hypocrisy.

    AndyR
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's either hypocrisy for leaving or hypocrisy for pretending to convert.

    Load More Replies...
    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tink carefully, OP. If you refuse to be the bride's MOH, she may cut off all contact with you forever. Oh, wait ...

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Crikey, she could teach Irish nuns a thing or two about cruelty.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Magdalen laundries were pretty much legalized slavery.

    Load More Replies...
    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP doesn't say whether fiancé is orthodox Jewish. Very orthodox Jewish women shave their hair after marriage and wear wigs. (Did school report on different wedding customs)

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope op told her not to wear make up, as a bride everyone should see her ugly face god gave her

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh even better I hope the bride wakes up with a rash on her face and the worst hair day possible.

    Load More Replies...
    Hyacinth (Any pronouns)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohh, converting for marriage. That's not gonna end well.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen happy marriages where one spouse converted to make the other happy. In this case, the bigger threat to the marriage is the bride using her former religion to be cruel. Sounds like she's converting more for the wedding itself.

    Load More Replies...
    murmelinpaiva
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some Jewish people wear wigs to hide their true hair. It's a cultural thing.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This bride is saying "I want you to be my MOH, but only so I can publicly humiliate you by forcing you to display your hairloss, and tell everyone that your immune disorder is a punishment from god." Why would you even go to the wedding?

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cousin is a control freak and I feel sorry for the b/f if he doesn't know it yet. I wouldn't go anywhere near that wedding. O would either say I'm not going or just happen to be sick that day.

    Leg less In Minneapolis
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This isn’t religion. Face this bride wants to look better and get the “pity me I have a sick I my life” vote

    wobbly jelly
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    buy a scarf or tea-towel with a print of the Turin shroud and mess it up a bit and send it to her - saying this is my blessed scarf.....

    Trillian
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are barely in contact, why would she agree to be MOH in the first place? Do people want to go to weddings so bad?

    CP
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The world would be a much better place if humans stopped believing these myths were real.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've taken religion classes I find them interesting and what I've always realized is we all want to believe in something bigger than us God whatever. For me personally it's that there's just somebody higher they have no name. What becomes a problem is the people that try and use their belief system to explain away they're negative behavior. I feel like people need to instead of saying well my family is Jewish so I am, look at every religion and find one that perhaps meets their beliefs so they're more likely to follow them and follow what they preach. Heck or don't follow one but following blindly is the problem.

    Load More Replies...
    Flo
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your God acts like a grumpy spoilt brat not getting what he wants then quite frankly, your God can go f*ck himself.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eugh lunatic god squad alert right there , the bible is a myth all fiction n religion is exactly the same ! Used to brain wash people like these. stuff that wedding op she’s a nasty bridezilla totally , and not a person I’d wanna have anything to do with !

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, the Lord is fine with the rapist Trump, but punishes a girl for not believing? Even if that made sense I'd say "f**k you" to a god like that. And to all who worship it.

    Wharfrat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    None so judgemental as a god-botherer.

    Emerald Gal28
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No need to explain, she's a narcissist, don't go.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also losing hair is emotionally difficult. Trying to accept the loss and as she pointed out it ends up every where! I wear an avocado shower cap to clean my bathroom and fold laundry or I chase it! So her sister should also be happy that she cares enough to stop her hair from being every where! I hope I made people laugh a bit with the avocado comment.

    Load More Replies...
    Bumpuff
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an equal opportunities hater I hate all religions equally, but I have to admit I have an extra bit of hate for the catholic cult. They truly are the most misogynistic b a s t a r d s. Not to mention the kiddy fiddling. 🤮

    Dori
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if you say that because the Catholics have it out in the open. I've heard stories from Evangelical branches about their pastors, and youth pastors especially, that are shocking. It gets covered up. Those churches preach one thing and do another. Not all, but too many.

    Load More Replies...
    northernsoulgw
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two tyrant jews in todays stories. Religion and expectations of orthodox jews is crazy!

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