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Friend Insults Adult Child At Family Gathering, Gets Reminded Her Daughter’s In Prison For A Crime
Young woman behind bars with serious expression, symbolizing crime and regret in a tense prison setting.
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Friend Insults Adult Child At Family Gathering, Gets Reminded Her Daughter’s In Prison For A Crime

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We’ve all had those family dinners where you spend more time dodging passive-aggressive questions than actually eating the food. Someone always asks why you’re single, unemployed, or still living at home. Add a few glasses of wine and a distant relative with no filter, and the entire evening transforms into a live-action therapy session no one asked for.

When a longtime family friend threw shade at today’s Original Poster (OP) for living at home, they responded with a single, devastating sentence, dragging out the skeletons in the other woman’s closet so thoroughly, they may as well have hosted the dinner themselves.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    They say people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but some folks just can’t resist the urge to lob a boulder or two

    Image credits: standret / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The author’s family hosted a Mother’s Day dinner with extended relatives and their mother’s best friend in attendance

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    Image credits: huhubelp

    Image credits: luis_molinero / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    The best friend began to criticize them for still living at home and compared them unfavorably to her own daughter

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    Image credits: huhubelp

    Image credits: Max4e / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    They clapped back by pointing out that said daughter, despite past achievements, is now in jail for a serious crime

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    Image credits: huhubelp

    Their mom’s best friend left in tears, and while some older family members were upset by the comment, younger relatives supported the comeback

    It’s first important to note that the OP still lives with their parents. However, the story began with a well-intentioned Mother’s Day dinner hosted by a close-knit family, including extended relatives and the OP’s mom’s best friend. Things were going smoothly until the best friend decided to ask when the OP would be moving out of the house.

    After explaining their situation and expected timeline, the best friend began to criticize them for still living at home at age 30. She compared them to her own daughter, who bought a house at 18 and built a prestigious career. Of course, this ignored crucial factors like the vastly different housing market back then, and the fact that Sophie is now, well, in prison.

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    The OP didn’t take their mom’s best friend’s criticism lying down. After listening to her condescending comparison, they calmly pointed out the glaring issue, while looking her straight in the eye, which had to do with the fact that at least they didn’t commit a crime. It was a statement so direct, it sent shockwaves across the dinner table, and the best friend left in tears.

    However, not long after, their grandparents expressed their annoyance at the OP’s remark, calling it audacious, and an uncle chimed in with strongly worded messages. Meanwhile, their mom and younger cousins are fully behind them as they understand their situation and why they’re still living at home with their parents.

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    Psychotherapist Richard B. Joelson states on his website that many people, especially parents, struggle to tell the difference between healthy pride and boastfulness. In his view, there’s a lot of confusion about when it’s appropriate to express pride and when it crosses the line into bragging.

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    He explains that pride is a positive, respectful feeling about one’s own or someone else’s accomplishments, while boasting involves self-glorifying or overly admiring talk, which tends to rub people the wrong way.

    The holiday season is typically meant to be joyful and filled with family bonding. However, Circle DNA acknowledges that it could also be an avenue for difficult friends or relatives to rile others up. They suggest affirming your self-worth, setting both physical and emotional boundaries, and showing kindness to yourself.

    Furthermore, Psychology Today explains that shaming is often used as a power move, an attempt to make someone feel small to elevate the person doing the shaming. Instead of reacting immediately or retaliating, they recommend slowing down, removing yourself from the situation if needed, and choosing your response thoughtfully.

    Netizens applauded the OP’s clapback, emphasizing that their mom’s best friend’s remarks were hypocritical and condescending, given her own daughter’s criminal situation. They also criticized the rest of the family for not stepping in sooner, expressing disappointment that no one defended the OP during the exchange.

    What would you have said if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you have clapped back or stayed quiet? We would love to know your thoughts!

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    Netizens applauded the author for standing up for themself and insisted that the unreasonable ones are their uncle and grandparents

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    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    Read less »
    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    What do you think ?
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Don't start nothin' and there won't be nothin'." Holly got what she deserved + I'd go NC with everyone in my family that yelled at me for being "mean" to Holly. Well done, OP! 👍

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop encouraging people to go "no contact" for stupid reasons. EVERY single post there's someone saying "go no contact!" Seriously. People say stupid stuff, do stupid stuff. You've done stupid stuff. We'll all end up isolated and lonely. |Fair enough if the people are a*****e or highly toxic. But plenty of us are just annoying and foolish sometimes. But we'll go to hell and back to help people we love.

    Load More Replies...
    Sue Ellen
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm sorry. Where is your daughter currently living now?"

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And "Whatever DID happen to Sophie's house after she GOT ARRESTED AND WENT TO PRISON, Holly?"

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m 64, and even I always hated it when; the old folks would tell me not to make waves and just get over it when someone was nasty to me. Believe me, I have a temper and a poison tongue, and can rip a nasty m**o to absolute shreds if they p**s me off enough (I spent my teens and my entire adult life working hard to keep it under control, and I do unless it’s justified and appropriate). I knew even as a child that letting it go when someone treats you badly just emboldens them by giving them the idea they can do it with impunity, so the next time they’ll be even nastier. F**k that noise, and f**k having consideration for someone else’s feelings if they’re being cruel and nasty to me—-where’s the consideration for MY feelings, ffs? If I know someone’s embarrassing dirt, and can do it with class, I will happily put them in their place and leave them with the parting gift of a freshly ripped hole in their a*s.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it's not quite an appropriate expression, so how do I say better for "I'm 54 and you're my spirit animal"? :D

    Load More Replies...
    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Don't stir the shlt unless you're willing to lick the spoon." ~ Wisdom of the Internet

    Baba Caine
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trying to get reduced sentence ?? for what op says is a horrendous crime that ended with a killing, he shud of asked is her daughters place up for rent while she away at her majesty pleasure

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or is she selling it cheap to pay her lawyer’s fees?

    Load More Replies...
    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, one thing I've learned as an immigrant: you need to talk to people in the language they understand. And that doesn't go only for the actual language (German / English) but also for the tone. If someone only gets the message when they get ripped a new one, then that's the language you need to use.

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WTF, Holly? Why make a comments like that when you have no legs to stand on? Are you insane?

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably got coddled from all sides and thinks she can unload her inferiority complex and guilt over what kind of person she brought up on others.

    Load More Replies...
    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did Holly think that nobody in the room knew about Sophie's incarceration?? Sheesh. Holly got exactly what she deserved.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why didn't the grandparents defend her against Holly? My family would have. In fact, Grandma would have chewed her a new one with some brand new swear words and insults.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so envious of that kind of family! Please hug them, they deserve it. It means so, so much to be defended - especially as a child, but also as an adult.

    Load More Replies...
    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I was being rude, how dare someone be rude to me!"

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your mum is a coward and an AH for letting this slide

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly, don't dish if you can't take, baby (Yeah, I sang that to the tune of 3-6-Mafia's Lolli Lolli). I'm just surprised how she expected people to accept when she just plain dished and dished. Also, OP's condition that Holly knocked on was just circumstantial, Sophie, on the other hand, pretty much made the decisions that led to her slammer time willfully. If I were Holly, I'd be embarrassed to even bring up Sophie's name, despite how well she did before. As for OP's cr*a*ptrap grandparents and uncle, this ought to be a reminder that being senior doesn't automatically command respect. You wanna dish out, make sure you can eat the feedback in return. -_-

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is nothing wrong with a 30 yr old living at home still in this day n age ! My two kids 21-24 still at home both work long hours good jobs as such , ok we in uk , but im happy to have them here as long as they need! I didn’t have them to kick em out at 18 like way to many do !! N what holly said was disrespectful and tbh why your mother her so called bff said nothing is very worrying , along with the rest of the family ! From what you’ve said if u take someone’s life how is it the victims fault ffs the woman is deluded and op you ARE NOT NTA , holly needs to learn people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones !

    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nowadays some people are really struggling. I know a lovely woman who has had to move back with her parents at 40+ because her full-time income isn’t enough to find a place by herself (and all her friends are coupled so not looking for a roommate). 30 is nothing in comparison, and at least OP isn’t leeching off the taxpayer while she’s living under her folks’ roof, unlike old mate who’s “SO SUCCESSFUL”.

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is a loser bully who wants to berate people and was too used to no one clapping back. Also, anyone who gets mad at you for standing up for yourself is an equal a*****e to said bully. So good for op for and the cousins too! The parents are just cowards I guess. No respect for that from me. Like gray paint. Ppl like that are just "there" like a background noise. Insignificant.

    geraldrboyle@aol.com
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An adult, particularly an older one, who intentionally humiliates anyone in front of an audience has either learned nothing in the course of their life, or does so because the expect no response. Possibly both apply here. However such a person richly deserves to be completely humiliated in return. Their own humiliation might prevent them from later damaging someone who is ill equipped to respond to respond to their poison. Never accept "It's just the way they are" as an explanation for their venom. Good for you OP.

    alloutbikes@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First of all Mum should have shut that so friend down. Next Mum should shut the other sh*t down. Let all the old timers work out a budget for you to move out. If you don't make enough, they can subsidize your bills.

    Sarah
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holly speaks to her best friend for years like that- Slagging off her daughter? And your mum took it. If her daughter Sophie’s crime was so bad.. is she going to be released?

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Throws rock boomerang, forgets lives in glasshouse. BOOM.

    Ruth Watry
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody had to step up to make an honest comparison of the two of you.

    Another Panda
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too be honest, I do think we need to stand up for ourselves, but perhaps we need to consider whether purposely embarrassing/driving the other person to tears is driving our society further into to hateful divisions. I’m terrible at standing up for myself. But I’m trying to think of better ways to respond to such a*b*u*sive behavior. I think what we need to learn is to keep the conversation exactly on point to the issue: “Can you explain exactly what is shameful about someone working hard at their personal career and creating a timeline in the current housing market for finding their own place. Logically, it doesn’t make sense.” Or, if someone makes an insulting comment via a “joke”, responding with “I’m sorry, but can you explain to me how such a comment is humorous?” Such phrases may confront the person with their own inappropriateness without an unkind response. It’s not guaranteed, of course, and reactions in the moment may vary.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Don't start nothin' and there won't be nothin'." Holly got what she deserved + I'd go NC with everyone in my family that yelled at me for being "mean" to Holly. Well done, OP! 👍

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop encouraging people to go "no contact" for stupid reasons. EVERY single post there's someone saying "go no contact!" Seriously. People say stupid stuff, do stupid stuff. You've done stupid stuff. We'll all end up isolated and lonely. |Fair enough if the people are a*****e or highly toxic. But plenty of us are just annoying and foolish sometimes. But we'll go to hell and back to help people we love.

    Load More Replies...
    Sue Ellen
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm sorry. Where is your daughter currently living now?"

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And "Whatever DID happen to Sophie's house after she GOT ARRESTED AND WENT TO PRISON, Holly?"

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m 64, and even I always hated it when; the old folks would tell me not to make waves and just get over it when someone was nasty to me. Believe me, I have a temper and a poison tongue, and can rip a nasty m**o to absolute shreds if they p**s me off enough (I spent my teens and my entire adult life working hard to keep it under control, and I do unless it’s justified and appropriate). I knew even as a child that letting it go when someone treats you badly just emboldens them by giving them the idea they can do it with impunity, so the next time they’ll be even nastier. F**k that noise, and f**k having consideration for someone else’s feelings if they’re being cruel and nasty to me—-where’s the consideration for MY feelings, ffs? If I know someone’s embarrassing dirt, and can do it with class, I will happily put them in their place and leave them with the parting gift of a freshly ripped hole in their a*s.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it's not quite an appropriate expression, so how do I say better for "I'm 54 and you're my spirit animal"? :D

    Load More Replies...
    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Don't stir the shlt unless you're willing to lick the spoon." ~ Wisdom of the Internet

    Baba Caine
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trying to get reduced sentence ?? for what op says is a horrendous crime that ended with a killing, he shud of asked is her daughters place up for rent while she away at her majesty pleasure

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or is she selling it cheap to pay her lawyer’s fees?

    Load More Replies...
    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, one thing I've learned as an immigrant: you need to talk to people in the language they understand. And that doesn't go only for the actual language (German / English) but also for the tone. If someone only gets the message when they get ripped a new one, then that's the language you need to use.

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WTF, Holly? Why make a comments like that when you have no legs to stand on? Are you insane?

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably got coddled from all sides and thinks she can unload her inferiority complex and guilt over what kind of person she brought up on others.

    Load More Replies...
    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did Holly think that nobody in the room knew about Sophie's incarceration?? Sheesh. Holly got exactly what she deserved.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why didn't the grandparents defend her against Holly? My family would have. In fact, Grandma would have chewed her a new one with some brand new swear words and insults.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so envious of that kind of family! Please hug them, they deserve it. It means so, so much to be defended - especially as a child, but also as an adult.

    Load More Replies...
    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I was being rude, how dare someone be rude to me!"

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your mum is a coward and an AH for letting this slide

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly, don't dish if you can't take, baby (Yeah, I sang that to the tune of 3-6-Mafia's Lolli Lolli). I'm just surprised how she expected people to accept when she just plain dished and dished. Also, OP's condition that Holly knocked on was just circumstantial, Sophie, on the other hand, pretty much made the decisions that led to her slammer time willfully. If I were Holly, I'd be embarrassed to even bring up Sophie's name, despite how well she did before. As for OP's cr*a*ptrap grandparents and uncle, this ought to be a reminder that being senior doesn't automatically command respect. You wanna dish out, make sure you can eat the feedback in return. -_-

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is nothing wrong with a 30 yr old living at home still in this day n age ! My two kids 21-24 still at home both work long hours good jobs as such , ok we in uk , but im happy to have them here as long as they need! I didn’t have them to kick em out at 18 like way to many do !! N what holly said was disrespectful and tbh why your mother her so called bff said nothing is very worrying , along with the rest of the family ! From what you’ve said if u take someone’s life how is it the victims fault ffs the woman is deluded and op you ARE NOT NTA , holly needs to learn people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones !

    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nowadays some people are really struggling. I know a lovely woman who has had to move back with her parents at 40+ because her full-time income isn’t enough to find a place by herself (and all her friends are coupled so not looking for a roommate). 30 is nothing in comparison, and at least OP isn’t leeching off the taxpayer while she’s living under her folks’ roof, unlike old mate who’s “SO SUCCESSFUL”.

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is a loser bully who wants to berate people and was too used to no one clapping back. Also, anyone who gets mad at you for standing up for yourself is an equal a*****e to said bully. So good for op for and the cousins too! The parents are just cowards I guess. No respect for that from me. Like gray paint. Ppl like that are just "there" like a background noise. Insignificant.

    geraldrboyle@aol.com
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An adult, particularly an older one, who intentionally humiliates anyone in front of an audience has either learned nothing in the course of their life, or does so because the expect no response. Possibly both apply here. However such a person richly deserves to be completely humiliated in return. Their own humiliation might prevent them from later damaging someone who is ill equipped to respond to respond to their poison. Never accept "It's just the way they are" as an explanation for their venom. Good for you OP.

    alloutbikes@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First of all Mum should have shut that so friend down. Next Mum should shut the other sh*t down. Let all the old timers work out a budget for you to move out. If you don't make enough, they can subsidize your bills.

    Sarah
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holly speaks to her best friend for years like that- Slagging off her daughter? And your mum took it. If her daughter Sophie’s crime was so bad.. is she going to be released?

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Throws rock boomerang, forgets lives in glasshouse. BOOM.

    Ruth Watry
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody had to step up to make an honest comparison of the two of you.

    Another Panda
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too be honest, I do think we need to stand up for ourselves, but perhaps we need to consider whether purposely embarrassing/driving the other person to tears is driving our society further into to hateful divisions. I’m terrible at standing up for myself. But I’m trying to think of better ways to respond to such a*b*u*sive behavior. I think what we need to learn is to keep the conversation exactly on point to the issue: “Can you explain exactly what is shameful about someone working hard at their personal career and creating a timeline in the current housing market for finding their own place. Logically, it doesn’t make sense.” Or, if someone makes an insulting comment via a “joke”, responding with “I’m sorry, but can you explain to me how such a comment is humorous?” Such phrases may confront the person with their own inappropriateness without an unkind response. It’s not guaranteed, of course, and reactions in the moment may vary.

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